I'm over it.

so... here's my story... the short of it...

March-June 2012 -- Weight Watchers
June-October 2012 - nothing
October 2012-February 2013 - MFP
February-May 2013 - MFP (inconsistantly)
May 2013-Present (MFP...ish)

In short, i'm over it. I'm over restricting myself, working my butt off at a gym, fad diets, weightloss supplements, etc and etc. only to hit a plateau and get stuck when I only have 15 more pounds to go. Then I lose motivation, gain 5-10 lbs back, get tired of the weight gain, restrict again... and the vicious cycle goes on and on. I'm tired of feeling like a sow, but at the same time I've lost all motivation to do anything about it. *sigh*

Anyone have any motivation or tips on how to make this better? Because, honestly, I'm over it (which I've said 27 times already).
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Replies

  • bonitacash08
    bonitacash08 Posts: 378 Member
    Honestly? The best advice I could give would be to dig deep and get over it. Stuff is hard. If you want it bad enough, the difficulty won't stop you.

    Looking at the timeline you've written, you haven't stuck with anything long enough to build a lifestyle. Three months isn't long enough. Fad diets, starvation, obsessive exercising--those things don't work in the long term. You have to reevaluate your goals and yourself before you can start again.

    It won't get better, easier, or any of that. But it will become worth it. You'll push past the difficult parts and that's when you'll succeed.
  • JessicaPasieka
    JessicaPasieka Posts: 149 Member
    I agree. You either want a healthy lifestyle or you don't. You're either going to put the work in or you're not. Sometimes, you won't seem results for a long sprint of time. That doesn't mean that you give up. It means you research and try new things and keep pushing yourself to your best potential.
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
    Honestly? The best advice I could give would be to dig deep and get over it.

    I think she's already over it.

    My advice would be to get under it.
  • KatLifter
    KatLifter Posts: 1,314 Member
    It's about moderation and a lifestyle change. Set your macros and stick to them. You don't have to cut anything out, just make them fit.
    Calculate your TDEE for your calories. Then adjust your macros (protein/carbs/fat) to meet your goals. Then be patient.

    That's it. Doesn't have to be dramatic.
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
    (S)he is able who thinks (s)he is able. -Buddha


    Are you able to do this?
  • kellyw036
    kellyw036 Posts: 58 Member
    Honestly? The best advice I could give would be to dig deep and get over it. Stuff is hard. If you want it bad enough, the difficulty won't stop you.

    Looking at the timeline you've written, you haven't stuck with anything long enough to build a lifestyle. Three months isn't long enough. Fad diets, starvation, obsessive exercising--those things don't work in the long term. You have to reevaluate your goals and yourself before you can start again.

    It won't get better, easier, or any of that. But it will become worth it. You'll push past the difficult parts and that's when you'll succeed.

    THIS. It is not always easy, it is not always fun, but if something is important to you, you commit. Did deep and find it. I finally did 4 months ago and this time feels different because it is....different because you don't give up.
    You can do it. Find it!
  • sunnshhiine
    sunnshhiine Posts: 727 Member
    It's about moderation and a lifestyle change. Set your macros and stick to them. You don't have to cut anything out, just make them fit.
    Calculate your TDEE for your calories. Then adjust your macros (protein/carbs/fat) to meet your goals. Then be patient.

    That's it. Doesn't have to be dramatic.

    I'm not familiar with "TDEE" -- what is that?
    And how does one adjust their macros to meet goals? Is there a calculator or something that you can enter your stats into to find out what is best for you?
  • kellykw
    kellykw Posts: 184 Member
    If you're really "over it," there's nothing we or anyone else can say or do to help you. You have to kick your own butt and help yourself. It's really not as complicated as we all tend to make it. Expend more than you take in. Work your muscles. Track what you're doing so you know what to adjust if you aren't getting the results you want. Repeat every day.
  • Pearsquared
    Pearsquared Posts: 1,656 Member
    Only eat what you enjoy, just eat less if it's calorie-dense. Eat more of the things you enjoy that's less calorie-dense. Don't eliminate any foods.

    Only do the exercises you enjoy - even if it's just walking. Don't force yourself to do things you don't want to do just because people say that's the most effective thing.

    Lose the weight slowly - set no deadlines, even weekly. The only supplements you should be touching are ones your doctor has asked you to touch.

    This is a lifetime change. If you don't feel like you can do it for the rest of your life, it won't work.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    Well now you know what doesn't work: restricting, over-exercising, inconsistent logging, and extremism.

    Sounds like you are ready to do what's worked for me and many others: moderation.

    Eat what you want, whenever you want it, as long as it fits your macros and calories. As for calories, get online and google a TDEE calculator. Look yours up and subtract 20% from your TDEE. That's how many calories you should be eating. It's not hard. In fact, that's all there is to it.

    ETA: I posted this before I saw you respond. TDEE is total daily energy expenditure: the number of calories you need to eat to maintain your weight at whatever your current activity level is. Since you want to drop weight, eat 20% less than your TDEE for slow, steady loss.

    Macros: it should be in grams, not percents. Google a lean body mass calculator, figure yours out, then set your macros on MFP to be at least 1gm protein per pound of lean body mass, at least 0.35 grams fat per pound of lean body mass, and the rest can be carbs.

    Go to home, then "goals" tab at the top of your page to manually set your goals.
  • sunnshhiine
    sunnshhiine Posts: 727 Member
    Well now you know what doesn't work: restricting, over-exercising, inconsistent logging, and extremism.

    Sounds like you are ready to do what's worked for me and many others: moderation.

    Eat what you want, whenever you want it, as long as it fits your macros and calories. As for calories, get online and google a TDEE calculator. Look yours up and subtract 20% from your TDEE. That's how many calories you should be eating. It's not hard. In fact, that's all there is to it.

    This is the first I've heard about how to figure out your TDEE. I'll google one now. I've only ever done what MFP tells me to do -- and most of the time I felt like I was starving myself. Thanks for the suggestions -- I appreciate them.
  • KatLifter
    KatLifter Posts: 1,314 Member
    It's about moderation and a lifestyle change. Set your macros and stick to them. You don't have to cut anything out, just make them fit.
    Calculate your TDEE for your calories. Then adjust your macros (protein/carbs/fat) to meet your goals. Then be patient.

    That's it. Doesn't have to be dramatic.

    I'm not familiar with "TDEE" -- what is that?
    And how does one adjust their macros to meet goals? Is there a calculator or something that you can enter your stats into to find out what is best for you?

    BMR = How many calories your body burns just by staying alive (coma patient)
    TDEE = how many calories you use a day based on your activity level. TDEE-15 or 20% is a pretty good base to lose weight in a safe and steady way. You can calculate here, http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/. It will look like a lot of calories, and it is, because you can eat that much and lose.

    40%protein/30% carbs/30% fat or 30%protein/40% carbs/30% fat are pretty standard splits for macros. Some people eat more carbs or fat, it depends on how your body reacts to things.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    It's about moderation and a lifestyle change. Set your macros and stick to them. You don't have to cut anything out, just make them fit.
    Calculate your TDEE for your calories. Then adjust your macros (protein/carbs/fat) to meet your goals. Then be patient.

    That's it. Doesn't have to be dramatic.

    I'm not familiar with "TDEE" -- what is that?
    And how does one adjust their macros to meet goals? Is there a calculator or something that you can enter your stats into to find out what is best for you?

    BMR = How many calories your body burns just by staying alive (coma patient)
    TDEE = how many calories you use a day based on your activity level. TDEE-15 or 20% is a pretty good base to lose weight in a safe and steady way. You can calculate here, http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/. It will look like a lot of calories, and it is, because you can eat that much and lose.

    40%protein/30% carbs/30% fat or 30%protein/40% carbs/30% fat are pretty standard splits for macros. Some people eat more carbs or fat, it depends on how your body reacts to things.

    Clarification: TDEE is how many calories you use a day in order to STAY THE SAME WEIGHT

    Since you want to drop weight, eat 20% less than your TDEE for slow, steady loss.

    Macros: You should set these in grams, not percents. Google a lean body mass calculator, figure yours out, then set your macros on MFP to be at least 1gm protein per pound of lean body mass, at least 0.35 grams fat per pound of lean body mass, and the rest can be carbs.

    The protein helps you maintain lean body mass (so you don't get flabby) and the fat ensures proper hormone function (really important for women).
  • sunnshhiine
    sunnshhiine Posts: 727 Member
    You can calculate here, http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/. It will look like a lot of calories, and it is, because you can eat that much and lose.

    Ok, when I did the calculator, this is what I got:

    BMR: 1436
    TDEE: 1975
  • TheHorribleBlob
    TheHorribleBlob Posts: 84 Member
    Screw moderation, calorie counting and restricting. Add more veggies to your diet. I would avoid frozen vegetable (mostly because I think that gross). Stop worrying about how much you're eating and start focusing on what you're eating. Vegetables are good for you and they're low in calories.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    You can calculate here, http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/. It will look like a lot of calories, and it is, because you can eat that much and lose.

    Ok, when I did the calculator, this is what I got:

    BMR: 1436
    TDEE: 1975

    So you should be eating approximately 1750 calories per day to lose weight

    It sounds like a lot, I know. But you already know that over-restricting didn't work for you, so it's time to try something better.

    Slowly increase your calories by about 100 per week until you get to 1750, then sit there for a month. The weight will start dropping.

    Be super accurate with your logging. Respect your macros. This truly works.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    OP,

    get into the Eat Train Progress group and start learning WHY things work and you won't ever have to worry about being frustrated about any of this again.

    start by reading all the important threads linked from here:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/833026-important-posts-to-read

    those will help you figure out what your real calorie goal should be, what your macros should be, the various things that can help you with your weight loss, what won't, etc.

    break the yo-yo'ing cycle forever.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/10118-eat-train-progress
  • sunnshhiine
    sunnshhiine Posts: 727 Member
    Screw moderation, calorie counting and restricting. Add more veggies to your diet. I would avoid frozen vegetable (mostly because I think that gross). Stop worrying about how much you're eating and start focusing on what you're eating. Vegetables are good for you and they're low in calories.

    I'm a Vegetarian... so veggies are a huge staple in my diet. Well, correction -- i "was" a vegetarian. I recently added chicken back into my diet to up my protein.

    thanks for the suggestions.
  • Pamela117e
    Pamela117e Posts: 36 Member
    I'm with you -- the constant struggle without success is very wearing on the psyche. Shutting down the negative dialog in my head is difficult so every now and then I give myself a breather for a couple of days and then come back feeling better and more psychologically ready to fight on. Do for yourself what you would do for a friend and give yourself a pep talk drowning out that negative voice, then pick up the mantel and soldier on. Success is important to you otherwise you wouldn't have asked for help and wanting it is half the battle! :smile:
  • sunnshhiine
    sunnshhiine Posts: 727 Member
    You can calculate here, http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/. It will look like a lot of calories, and it is, because you can eat that much and lose.

    Ok, when I did the calculator, this is what I got:

    BMR: 1436
    TDEE: 1975

    So you should be eating approximately 1750 calories per day to lose weight

    It sounds like a lot, I know. But you already know that over-restricting didn't work for you, so it's time to try something better.

    Slowly increase your calories by about 100 per week until you get to 1750, then sit there for a month. The weight will start dropping.

    Be super accurate with your logging. Respect your macros. This truly works.

    THANK YOU! I really appreciate all of your help! I will do this!
  • Otterluv
    Otterluv Posts: 9,083 Member
    You can calculate here, http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/. It will look like a lot of calories, and it is, because you can eat that much and lose.

    Ok, when I did the calculator, this is what I got:

    BMR: 1436
    TDEE: 1975

    So you should be eating approximately 1750 calories per day to lose weight

    It sounds like a lot, I know. But you already know that over-restricting didn't work for you, so it's time to try something better.

    Slowly increase your calories by about 100 per week until you get to 1750, then sit there for a month. The weight will start dropping.

    Be super accurate with your logging. Respect your macros. This truly works.

    This is absolutely solid advice here, OP. Please especially heed the part about accurate logging. The only way to evaluate the effectiveness of your restriction is to make sure that it's as accurate as it can be.
  • sunnshhiine
    sunnshhiine Posts: 727 Member
    I'm with you -- the constant struggle without success is very wearing on the psyche. Shutting down the negative dialog in my head is difficult so every now and then I give myself a breather for a couple of days and then come back feeling better and more psychologically ready to fight on. Do for yourself what you would do for a friend and give yourself a pep talk drowning out that negative voice, then pick up the mantel and soldier on. Success is important to you otherwise you wouldn't have asked for help and wanting it is half the battle! :smile:

    Thank you so much for your understanding comment. Much appreciated.
  • sunnshhiine
    sunnshhiine Posts: 727 Member

    This is absolutely solid advice here, OP. Please especially heed the part about accurate logging. The only way to evaluate the effectiveness of your restriction is to make sure that it's as accurate as it can be.

    That's one thing I am anal about. When I log my food, I log everything... right down to the ketchup and garlic powder. glad to see my logging craziness is actually a good thing.
  • DragonSquatter
    DragonSquatter Posts: 957 Member
    You can calculate here, http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/. It will look like a lot of calories, and it is, because you can eat that much and lose.

    Ok, when I did the calculator, this is what I got:

    BMR: 1436
    TDEE: 1975

    So you should be eating approximately 1750 calories per day to lose weight

    It sounds like a lot, I know. But you already know that over-restricting didn't work for you, so it's time to try something better.

    Slowly increase your calories by about 100 per week until you get to 1750, then sit there for a month. The weight will start dropping.

    Be super accurate with your logging. Respect your macros. This truly works.

    ^ Spectacular advice here.

    I just want to add that you need to be consistent, take measurements of your body, and above all, be patient. You didn't get overweight overnight. You're not going get to your goal overnight.

    Always measure and weigh your food also. It makes a huge difference.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    OP,

    get into the Eat Train Progress group and start learning WHY things work and you won't ever have to worry about being frustrated about any of this again.

    start by reading all the important threads linked from here:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/833026-important-posts-to-read

    those will help you figure out what your real calorie goal should be, what your macros should be, the various things that can help you with your weight loss, what won't, etc.

    break the yo-yo'ing cycle forever.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/10118-eat-train-progress

    Agree with this, too. A ton of excellent information and an amazing resource of really knowledgable people in there.

    OP, I'm really happy for you. You're about to find out that losing weight doesn't have to be painful at all, and that's a truly freeing discovery. I know, because I did all the stuff that didn't work, too. The only thing that works is so beautifully simple that it seems too easy to be true. You're in luck. :flowerforyou:
  • salcha76
    salcha76 Posts: 287 Member
    How are you over it if you keep replayng old tapes? Like a broken record? Instead of going back & re-doing the same thing....write a new chapter.....life only happens if you make it happen. If you have decided you're over it....only you can decide to change and move on. Sure, it's tough....but once your mind is made up you've got it. The energy you give off is the energy you will receive back. Good luck to you!
  • jennifershoo
    jennifershoo Posts: 3,198 Member
    You don't want it badly enough. You sabotage yourself after a plateau...
  • SkinnyMsFitness
    SkinnyMsFitness Posts: 389 Member
    Hi! I've noticed some things you mentioned that could be issues: inconsistency and fad dieting.

    I've found that it helps (big time) to think of it as 'changing your lifestyle,' and not dieting. That right there will help with the consistency. I still have work to do on myself, but I have improved greatly.

    For example: I drank pop 24/7, mindlessly ate & never exercised. I know, what a great lifestyle, huh? lol

    Well, I started kicking one habit at a time. I quit drinking pop. I refused to! And once I felt that I was successful (after a few months), I worked on kicking another habit - I began to exercise. And once that routine was set in pretty good, I quit mindlessly eating.

    I know your situation is probably different than mine (you goal weight is MUCH closer), but the bottom line is to change your mentality. Our minds are very powerful, but YOU CAN CONTROL THEM! (At least most of the time.)

    Just remember, you want to make one change at a time to better yourself - to attempt to reach total wellness. You'll get there. :-)
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    If you really ARE over it, you'll buckle down, log in and get to work. And if you won't or don't do that, you're not over it yet. Up to you. Nobody else is going to make the choice for you, you have to.
  • KatLifter
    KatLifter Posts: 1,314 Member
    You don't want it badly enough. You sabotage yourself after a plateau...

    Or maybe over-restrictive dieting didn't work for her, as it doesn't work for many. CongreteGirl and I showed her how to calculate TDEE and set macros for real change. Not wanting it and being on an unsustainable diet are two different problems.
    OP: You can do it this time :smile: