Loud farters

2

Replies

  • Lovdiamnd
    Lovdiamnd Posts: 624 Member
    Advice to the girls here... dont hold your farts in around your boyfriend.
    I was peacefully sleeping one night, when I was suddenly startled of my rest by my boyfriend yelling "WOMAN!!! You just farted SO LOUD it woke me up!!" Lmao!! Oops!

    Did he feel dominated? :laugh: :laugh:



    Lmao! Maybe! I considered it to be payback as he likes to dutch oven me! :laugh:

    Excellent :devil:
  • jamiek917
    jamiek917 Posts: 610 Member
    true story:

    I met my friend's new boyfriend, and she explained me and my husband as the "perfect couple" and hopes they could be like us one day.

    my response: " seriously? the other day he annoyed me so much that when he was getting undressed i bent over and farted squarely between his eyes. if we are the couple you hope to become... your standards are terrible."

    i had to seize the opportunity. my husband always has to fart--- and does so constantly, whether im 10ft away or 1 inch. i rarely am afforded the opportunity for a little revenge...had to take it
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  • Nessiechickie
    Nessiechickie Posts: 1,392 Member
    I have to prepare myself every morning when my b/f wakes up before I do.
    Will lit. blow the covers down a few feet.
    And then he gets up and sits in his chair on the computer and does not hold back.


    It's true love.
  • Lift_hard_eat_big
    Lift_hard_eat_big Posts: 2,278 Member
    My wife counts how many farts unleashed after we eat Indian food. One time I was up to like 30 lol!
  • Doodlewhopper
    Doodlewhopper Posts: 1,018 Member
    especially if everyone else is quite, like at at movie or church. then look at the person next to you and say "don't worry. I'll tell them it was me"

    I love this! I will have to use it!

    My husband says mine sound angry. Like they are yelling at someone.

    Thats called a wookie cuz it sounds like Chewbacca with a hang over.
  • Doodlewhopper
    Doodlewhopper Posts: 1,018 Member
    especially if everyone else is quite, like at at movie or church. then look at the person next to you and say "don't worry. I'll tell them it was me"

    Shout indignantly, "WELL THAT'S THE LAST TIME I WILL EVER PULL YOUR DAMN FINGER!"
  • Kpablo
    Kpablo Posts: 355 Member
    Anytime my two year old passes gas she is thrilled so much she screams "I FARTED, MOMMY!!!!!" :blushing:

    A few days ago we went to dinner and she took a #2 and ran outside to tell the bf "I POOPED!!!!!!!!!!!" LOL At least she's proud of herself.
  • chubby_checkers
    chubby_checkers Posts: 2,352 Member
    Advice to the girls here... dont hold your farts in around your boyfriend.
    I was peacefully sleeping one night, when I was suddenly startled of my rest by my boyfriend yelling "WOMAN!!! You just farted SO LOUD it woke me up!!" Lmao!! Oops!


    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    My fiance and I had only been dating a few weeks when we were hanging out and he left the room to rip one. He was trying to be discrete, but it was the loudest fart I had heard in a long time. I laughed until I cried and he was super embarrassed.
  • 6spdeg
    6spdeg Posts: 394 Member
    Im laughing right NOW!. i think i just farted to...
  • Lovdiamnd
    Lovdiamnd Posts: 624 Member
    Im laughing right NOW!. i think i just farted to...

    :embarassed:
  • YoshiZelda
    YoshiZelda Posts: 340 Member
    I find loud farts absolutely hilarious, especially in a public crowded place. One in an elevator would suck though.
  • htimpaired
    htimpaired Posts: 1,404 Member
    My husband farts alot at night, and it smells. (Never the nice loud but odor-less ones, ya know?). I complained so much about it that one year for Christmas my family gave me a box of air freshner spray cans to keep next to the bed so I can spray him when he does it. Now his farts smell like cinnamon apple.
  • 6spdeg
    6spdeg Posts: 394 Member
    GOTTA LOVE PROTEIN FARTS.. theres no escaping those!
  • SmartWhatever
    SmartWhatever Posts: 718 Member
    GOTTA LOVE PROTEIN FARTS.. theres no escaping those!

    Beer farts are pretty potent too!
  • JusticeGirl25
    JusticeGirl25 Posts: 703 Member
    Farts are even more hysterical when you use the restroom at a public place and even at the airport LOL
  • Kpablo
    Kpablo Posts: 355 Member
    GOTTA LOVE PROTEIN FARTS.. theres no escaping those!

    Especially egg farts :sick:

    My best friend egg farts all the time. SO GROSS! Give me a gas mask please.
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
    i practice SBD in public. at home, anything goes. including machine gun style and louuuud.


    *giggle*
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    Hmmm I wonder if the recipient finds them as funny as you? :indifferent:

    funnier....

    it sounds like a barking seal I've been told.
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    Reporting....for duty. *FARTTTTT
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    Mine are pretty impressive in their machine gun style when I'm alone..but in public it's all about the practice of the *kitten* clenching technique (anal kegels?) to make it come out silent. This way i could blame someone else and laugh.

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • Lifting_Knitter
    Lifting_Knitter Posts: 1,025
    Reporting....for duty. *FARTTTTT

    This made me laugh so hard...:laugh:
  • Gusman14
    Gusman14 Posts: 94
    I love hammering the smelliest ones out in a silent display by my wife and daughter and slowly leave the room and wait for the response. Nothing makes me giggle more than that.
  • Ashwee87
    Ashwee87 Posts: 695 Member
    The worst is when you let a really loud and long one out and nobody is there to high five you :frown:
    QFT!
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    fart.gif
  • Ashwee87
    Ashwee87 Posts: 695 Member
    Not at the same time, of course, or the earth would fly out of orbit.

    I almost peed myself when I read this. xD

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