Husband won't let me get a dog unless I lose 10 lbs

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  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,713 Member
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    hmm... hubby sounds like a nutcase. is this an issue?
  • sunnyskys2013
    sunnyskys2013 Posts: 159 Member
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    i agree with other poster if you want a dog get a dog. You are not his child and he shouldn't treat you like that. He should respect you enough to want to make you happy.
    My husband would never treat me like that but that is because if he told me no i would come home with two. But because of the respect we have for each other it has never come to that.
  • airangel59
    airangel59 Posts: 1,887 Member
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    Akimajuktuq wrote:
    It's times like these I'm glad to be single. I don't let anyone manipulate or bribe me and I don't ask anyone's "permission". Besides, as mentioned, you actually get more exercise when you own a dog.

    I hate living without a dog. I refuse to live without a dog. It's much easier to live without a husband.

    Could not have said this better myself. :drinker: I adore my two girls = unconditional love in fur coats.

    OP I wish I was your weight. If you think you need to lose weight, do it for yourself, not for the promise of a dog & for dang sure not for your man. What will happen if you do lose those 10 lbs he wants you to lose, and you gain them back? Dog goes to pound?
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    I don't understand the 'letting' your SO do something, sounds really weird. When I was out once and got chatting to this guy he said "So your husband lets you out" I just laughed.
  • gracieloo8
    gracieloo8 Posts: 41 Member
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    Tell him the dog is going to be your exercise partner.

    Exactly what I was going to post!
  • inside_lap
    inside_lap Posts: 738 Member
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    I'm a little concerned about what your seven year old is learning both directly and indirectly from your husband. Remember, you said yourself that he got his obsession from his family. He may not see it, but professional help may be needed to break the cycle. Best of luck!
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,713 Member
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    buying a dog isn't like buying a handbag.

    it's selfish & childish to bring an animal into a situation where is may be unwanted and resented.
    anyone suggesting she just buy the dog should be ashamed of themselves.
  • VitaBailey
    VitaBailey Posts: 271 Member
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    buying a dog isn't like buying a handbag.

    it's selfish & childish to bring an animal into a situation where is may be unwanted and resented.
    anyone suggesting she just buy the dog should be ashamed of themselves.
    Agreed.
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
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    Does anyone seem to understand this is a `one sided` post

    I am all for women being women and fighting for their femininity etc. but really....she has a husband that wants to eat healthily and is having arguments about her weight.

    Was the OP overweight when they got married? Maybe hubby is trying to give her an incentive to lose weight in a nice way, which we are not reading from the OP`s account?

    There are 2 sides to every story, don`t always condemn the person from the story of the person that you hear from first
  • kaddydaddy
    kaddydaddy Posts: 60 Member
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    You really shouldn't air your relationship grievances out on a forum, but rather air them out with your spouse; open communication sounds like something that you both need to focus on rather than a diet, dog, or gluten.

    And to all the "ditch the husband people", settle down. The baby doesn't need to be tossed out with the bathwater over every piddly-*kitten* disagreement, as she didn't say he's beating, cheating or anything that egregious. C'mon people, let's try to use some common sense to bring the divorce rate below 50% again!
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
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    Sometimes is easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission, if you know what I'm sayin'.

    lol

    this! ^^^

    I've done this with almost every pet ive ever owned, and never had to take one back yet!

    though a puppy might be a wiser choice for the cuteness factor. It will also adapt to the senior cats much faster than an adult.
    But adopting a stray is a terrific thing, so I do not want to discourage you there!

    My mom did the same thing when she adopted a dog. She still has the dog so her technique worked. My dad didn't like it at first but he usually relents after a while. :)
  • TigressPat
    TigressPat Posts: 722
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    You really shouldn't air your relationship grievances out on a forum, but rather air them out with your spouse; open communication sounds like something that you both need to focus on rather than a diet, dog, or gluten.

    And to all the "ditch the husband people", settle down. The baby doesn't need to be tossed out with the bathwater over every piddly-*kitten* disagreement, as she didn't say he's beating, cheating or anything that egregious. C'mon people, let's try to use some common sense to bring the divorce rate below 50% again!

    never going to happen!
    :noway:
  • TigressPat
    TigressPat Posts: 722
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    Sometimes is easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission, if you know what I'm sayin'.

    lol

    this! ^^^

    I've done this with almost every pet ive ever owned, and never had to take one back yet!

    though a puppy might be a wiser choice for the cuteness factor. It will also adapt to the senior cats much faster than an adult.
    But adopting a stray is a terrific thing, so I do not want to discourage you there!

    My mom did the same thing when she adopted a dog. My dad didn't like it at first but he usually relents after a while. :) She still has him so her technique worked.

    though I suggested this somwhat in gest, It can work, but it all depends on your knowledge of the other person and your relationship with him/her.
    In my case, i knew once it was a fait accompli, the other person in question would grow to love it. But not all humans are as soft hearted or easily swayed. I have no idea how the OP's husband would react, but hopefully she does.
  • perrinjoshua
    perrinjoshua Posts: 286 Member
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    When I got my divorce the first thing I did was get that Irish Setter that he said was an ugly breed. I loved that dog till the day she died and I still do. She was so supportive of everything I ever wanted to do. Dogs rock.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    O_o

    Please do not get a dog.

    He can't even feed himself properly.
  • jillyk89
    jillyk89 Posts: 240 Member
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    What a douche.
    Get the dog. Ditch the husband.
  • hungryhobbit1
    hungryhobbit1 Posts: 259 Member
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    Did you miss the part where she's already at a healthy weight for her height? Looking at her profile pic, she's probably got some decent lean body mass too. She may never lose 10 pounds unless she does something unhealthy. Her husband has issues, that should not keep her from living her life.
    he has no business placing a weight loss condition on it.

    He didn't place the condition on it - he agreed to a deal that she proposed.

    Stick to the deal.

    You already tried to get out of the deal that you proposed - he declined and counter-offered with "stick to an exercise plan".

    Either lose the 10 lbs or stick to an exercise plan and then get your dog.

    While, from your side of this, your husband seems like a piece of work - you should keep deals that you make. And having a dog always involves the whole family so I think he should get some say in it.
  • jaemydoll
    jaemydoll Posts: 3
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    There is so much wrong with this. Please see a professional marriage counselor, or at least a personal therapist. I can't presume to know or understand the status/health of your relationship (though I really want to), but the whole premise of this makes me think of dreadful control issues.

    Best of luck to you in all areas of health and happiness.
  • FeatherBoBeather
    FeatherBoBeather Posts: 255 Member
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    He flipped out and said that "the conditions have not been met" and that if I could show him that I cared enough about what he wants by keeping an exercise plan then he would be accepting about a dog.

    This, right here ^ is NOT okay.
    If you cared enough about what *he* wants??? Is this a joke?
    Your body is NOT his. It is yours.

    If he is not happy with your body, enough to 'restrict' you as his wife from adopting a dog, you need to seek counseling together or have some very calm & open discussions about how he is coming off as manipulative. It doesn't really seem like this issue is even about the dog for him...

    You are an adult. I assume you are working? You contribute to the finances, you are on the title of your home, correct? Then it is your choice whether or not you have a dog for yourself, so long as you are taking full responsibility for it.

    Assuming what you have written is basically verbatim...Not in a million years would I put up that.
  • bethfartman
    bethfartman Posts: 363 Member
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    Yikes, your story gave me goosebumps. I wouldn't get a dog as long as you're living with him. If he cannot treat his wife well I can't imagine how he'll treat a innocent dog. You do not want your child developing these same issues. My rule of thumb in life (and I have very few rules I live by) is never trust someone who doesn't like dogs. It sounds like a joke, but it's never steered me wrong.

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