Do you think it's ok to 'love your body' whatever shape?
Replies
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It's extremely important to love your body in whatever it's condition. Weight is a factor that can be changed, so it can be easier to make snap judgements on a person who is overweight. But there are folks who have physical conditions or characteristics that cannot be changed. Society may not accept them as the standard either, but they still have a right to love their own bodies.
If your friend really "loves her body" , she will eventually come to a place where she will realize that she must nurture it and care for it. But while she is waiting to get there it is important for her to accept herself in the moment.
I have to love my body in the moment, and respect it's limitations, even though I am not at my goal weight and have a while to go. If I constantly looked toward the "future me", any slip would feel like a failure and this weight loss journey would be a nightmare.0 -
Frankly it's no one's business to decide whether or not it's acceptable for another person to love their body contingent upon whether it meets certain 'acceptable' criteria.
I have friends who are considered obese who are perfectly content with their bodies the way they are. Any medical issues their physical condition may present are THEIR business, not mine, and it's not up to me to concern-troll them into trying to live the sort of lifestyle that I want to live.
We are (hopefully) all autonomous adults who can make our own choices and ALSO respect the choices of others.
tl;dr why is this even a concern? Why aren't we all minding our own bodies and not the bodies of others? I wanted to make a change to myself and I'm doing it. I don't love what I see in the mirror right now - if someone who weighs 50 pounds more than me does, who am I to say they can't?0 -
I think everybody deserves to have decent self-esteem. I don't think that smugly telling overweight people that they are supposed to hate themselves helps *anybody*.0
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I think loving yourself just as you are, and continuing an unhealthy lifestyle are two different things entirely.
OP claims to not be hating on fat people but it is exactly the argument and the view she is talking about that is harmful and has totally stemmed from fat hate.
To say to someone that they aren't allowed to love themselves until they reach an allowed weight is frankly horrifying because you do realise that even if they change their habits and try to become a healthier person THEY STILL HAVE TO BE THAT OVERWEIGHT PERSON while they get there. So they have to try and look after themselves, while hating themselves until they get to a bodyweight that is acceptable. Only then can you love yourself
Can you see how ridiculous that sounds? How awful? How impossible that seems?
Nicely said!
You can totally love and accept your body, but that doesn't mean you cant also try and be healthier or try and lose weight. It is still your body regardless so love it always and try to promote living healthily as loving your body, not loving it based on aesthetics.
ok but about what about folks that are 350+ pounds...is that loving your body when you have so much extra stress on your heart that your age is 30 but your "real age" is like 50....Just throwing that out there but I dont see how force feeding yourself 5000 calories a days showing love for yourself....maybe they just really do not notice, but it seems strange to me....
When I started this I was 358 pounds, and for years I had very low self esteem. I could not stay focused and be determined to get healthier until I truely loved EVERYTHING about me which included loving EVERY inch and pound of me . So I say it is very important for a person no matter what size to love their body. Just my opinion based on my life
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I'm not going to read the replies prior to my own - Im sure there's been a fair amount of banter both ways, and maybe even some drama! Another day in the life of the MFP boards
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There's a big difference between loving your body, no matter what size, and loving YOURSELF. As one of MFP friends recently reminded me, each of us is just a soul within a body.
You can want to change yourself to be healthier without hating yourself. You can want to improve your body without losing respect for the fact that it has gotten you this far - heck, I think I have even more respect for my body because DESPITE the fact that I am much heavier than many of my friends, I can run better than they can - with better form, better times and over great distances. DESPITE the poor food choices that I have made in the past, my body continues to have good health numbers. I am thankful, and I am making the right strides to treat it better than I have in the past, but I don't hate it (or myself) for being the way that it is now, just like I don't hate myself for the choices that I've made that has gotten me here.
When you know better, you do better.0 -
A person should love themselves enough to not harm themselves by eating junk.0
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You should love yourself enough to realize when your unhealthy and need to change. Ignorance is not bliss.
Agreed0 -
You can leave anyone and everyone else, but you are stuck with you. Work on making yourself happy and healthy and let everyone else pound sand.
Check out the Health At Every Size movement and this blogger - http://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/0 -
It seems as though this "love your body" campaign, though altruistic at its core, is being abused by much of the American populous. It's one thing when your natural, healthy body shape and frame are larger or smaller than average. I believe that, concerning those people, this campaign is wonderful. Women with that hourglass figure, such as (please forgive me) Kim Kardashian can be absolutely gorgeous. Likewise, very petite women, such as Olivia Wilde, can also be gorgeous.
Issues arise when those who cross the line into unhealthily overweight use it as a cop out to not take care of themselves, and then go so far as to become hostile towards those advising a healthier lifestyle. It seems to be nearly synonymous to enabling a drug user. They do not care to change their life threatening lifestyle, and combat the general public by saying that they are the way they are, and that is how they will remain.0 -
I don't think anyone should ever hate their body. Loving your body is motivation to take care of it.
Yes, everyone is beautiful. Not everyone is healthy or well cared for though. That's just how I look at it.0 -
Yes, just because society does not love you, does not mean you don't love yourself....I hate when i hear weight loss leads to better self esteem. That's for some, my self esteem is not from my size, clothing, or hair. I love every aspect me, every flaw. I honestly don't understand self esteem issues. Even my decision to lose weight I had nothing to do with self esteem..I wanted to lose it for me. So feeling like if you're fat hate yourself until you look better is shallow.....
My self esteem was at it's lowest when I was on the lower side of healthy. I never had an eating disorder, but the way I feel about myself can't really be seen in the shape of my body. It's more obvious in the expression and body language than it is the amount of space I take up. I've never really had BAD self esteem, but I do have a lot of times in my life when I feel uncertain, and it has nothing to do with my weight.0 -
I take the chance to love my body every chance I get...0
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Of course it is okay. It is okay for anyone to feel how they want to feel.0
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My question is, should we be saying it is ok to love your body whatever your size, even if you could be severely undernourished by either eating too much of the wrong foods or not enough of the right ones?
Yes.
However, love and acceptance are two different things. It's ok to love who and what you are, as hate can bring around some truly negative things. However, accepting it is an entirely different ball of sticky buns.0 -
PLEASE DO NOT think this is an attack on overweight people. I'd like some nice friendly debate.
My friend who is at uni is obese (by Doctor's standards, not mine). In fact I'm pretty sure she may be verging on morbidly obese.
She's doing a project about how society perceives her and other people, because of the size they are. For example overweight people are seen as unattractive, and models are seen as beauty.
I love what she is doing I genuinely do, but I do see flaws in her argument. She clearly has issues with food, as one may have issues with food if they were a model - different issues.
My question is, should we be saying it is ok to love your body whatever your size, even if you could be severely undernourished by either eating too much of the wrong foods or not enough of the right ones?
My personal opinion is no. I think overweight people should be conscious of their health, just like an underweight person should be. I don't think it is ok to say love your body whatever the shape as this may enable continuation of unhealthy eating habits.
I feel like you can love your body and still change it. I loved my body before I started, because it was mine. But I also knew I needed/wanted a change. I think hating your body while trying to change it can make up backslide easier. You will be hypervigilant looking for FAST CHANGE and when you don't see it you quit. Embrace yourself the way you currently are but also love yourself to know you need a change WITHOUT beating yourself up about it. Tricky business.0 -
10 years ago, I went from a size 18 to a size 4. Several things happened.
*I started getting attention from thin women, strangers, who didn't know me, that had never happened before
*I started getting attention from men, not in a platonic way.
*I had one man stop me in a store, say "you look exactly like the type of girl I want, you are my fantasy" I looked at him and said "you don't even know me and I'm married" he said "you're perfect" I pulled out a fat picture and asked "is she perfect?" (the picture looked nothing like me as I was fat and my natural hair color is blonde and I had dyed it deep maroon/purple.) he said "uh, no" I said "too bad, that's me, that's who I am. If you don't like me there, you won't like me now, I am the same person just a different size" and walked away. He just stood there and all his buddies started laughing at him for getting denied. I went home and cried. The truth was I was the same person on the inside, the core me was the same, the package was different and the way I was treated as a thin person was so wildly different that I fell into a depression because I didn't understand why I was so much more "liked" by people at work, my boss, men, women, my husband (until I wasn't). I stayed at that weight for a while, I lifted heavy, I ran long distances, I ate well, one day I reached a size 2, I felt strong, happy, confident, I had gotten used to the attention and being seen. One day, I was putting laundry in the washer and my husband looked at me and said "you know, if you get any more muscular you are going to look like a dude and I am not going to be attracted to you anymore" I had girly hair, I was a 34DDD and a size 2, there was no way I looked like a dude, but that one statement stopped me in my tracks. Instead of saying "**** YOU" and leaving (as that should've been the moment I realized it was all downhill from there) I stopped everything. I got fat again, I started smoking and drinking again and he started smiling again and I became invisible again. I hated myself again, still... whatever.
Fast forward 7 years, 3 kids, 1 divorce (from that guy above - he ended up cheating on me when I was pregnant with our third child and that was what gave me the strength to leave a really bad relationship) and four more years to today, today, I am not a size 4, I am a size 12, in November of last year I was a size 18. It took me 3.5 years post divorce to accept myself for the way I was, to like myself and to appreciate my body. To be grateful for all it had done for me to love every stretch mark, wrinkle, and place that looked okay. I spent a long time studying myself in a mirror. I gave up spanx and promised my body I would never make it be anything it wasn't. I wore clothes that fit and that were comfortable. I decided to only eat food I liked and not because of the health or not healthy benefits it had. It took me 3.5 years to just figure out what I liked to eat after cooking for someone else for 17 years. Turns out, I quite a picky eater, who knew?
I have a long journey ahead of me, but this time, it's just every day. Every day is the first day of reclaiming myself. Every day is slow and the process takes as long as it takes. I am a little bit more visible to the public again, I get more smiles and strangers talk to me more again but this time it doesn't shock me because I know that once your outside is not hiding who you are you become visible. Being fat is not just about dietary choices for a lot of people, it's a layer of protection to keep people away, to in fact, be invisible. Becoming visible is a first time process for a lot of people and if you aren't prepared for it, it can be frightening almost because you know you are the same inside.
One of the women at work asked me a week ago "You look great, are you losing weight for any special reason?" She meant well, it was just a conversational question, but I stopped, looked at her and smiled and I said "Yes, I am, I am doing it for my life" She just looked at me confused and said "Oh, I thought maybe you had an event to go to or something" I just smiled and said "I do" My event is every day, my event is my life. Every day I wake up and begin again because every day something could happen that could change the course of my path and whatever today brings I want to know that I am loving myself and living with no regrets.
So do I think it's okay for obese people to love their body, yes I do, because really that is the first step in the process of understanding who you are and being who you are. Once you accept yourself fully then other people can to and that's where you become visible and that's where you find the strength to create the physical appearance that you want to mirror your internal self. Being fat is so much more than calories in vs. calories out.
Wow... I found your story really moving. Life is an awesome motivation
And I definitely think it's important to love yourself. After all, what's the point in trying to take care of something you hate?0 -
I agree! if you love yourself you will take care of your body!0
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I am not a slave to my body shape, it is a slave to me.0
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That's actually a great topic to discuss. As women, we often don't accept our bodies regardless of what size we are, so I have to say it CAN be a good thing to accept your body as is, but where do we draw the line? I believe it would be more productive if we did accept our bodies whether we are big or small because a lot of weight issues are caused by a lack of self-acceptance; if we are big, we get depressed and eat more and hate our bodies, and if we are small, we always want to be smaller, and then there is everything in-between. I commend people who are self-accepting of their size no matter what size they are because I am trapped in a body that I hate and don't accept. I would much rather be able to accept myself at any size than fight the battle of hating my figure. On the other hand, we should be aware of our HEALTH no matter what size we are.0
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I look at it like this, if you love your body then you would be taking care of it by eating healthy and exercising regularly!!! Then you should be proud of what you see in the mirror!!0
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I may get some backlash from this, but want to put my two cents in.
(Now if I can figure out how to write it out...)
Before anyone gets too mad at me, I AM morbidly obese. I'm not judging, and I have been there... obviously.
While I like seeing people happy and carefree, some of the "Love your body" campaigns, in my opinion, are doing more harm than good.
Whether or not anybody wants to really face it, being morbidly obese is not something they should be proud of. Many will excuse themselves because they have thyroid issues or some other metabolism issue, and they will tell you they barely eat and it must be from the "starvation mode" storing fat or some nonsense.
All these campaigns give obese people an "out". A reason to smile and not do anything about their issues. The campaigns are nothing more than an enabling device. It enables people by encouraging them to go against the grain so to speak. They are manipulative, and they are killing people every day.
No matter what a "body loving obese" person says in the bright light of day, I can guarantee you that 99% of them are disgusted when they have to wash under their rolls several times a day to avoid stinking, they hate themselves for long moments when they can't just sit up in bed to get out, but rather have to literally ROLL out of bed. They do NOT love their bodies when nobody is there to witness.... But with all the campaigns, a good percentage probably feel trapped.
Trapped because their friends think it's cool that they love themselves and are not about to follow the herd. They are rebels, they are outspoken, and damn anybody who tries to change their mind!
I see it, and I've lived it. As long as there is general acceptance and excuses that are taken with no argument... these campaigns are going to continue killing.
I am not implying that we shouldn't accept people and love them no matter what they look like, but maybe it's time for everyone to get a bit more proactive. Show people weight loss CAN be achieved by the average Joe, and show people what it is to be TRULY happy with their body with healthy eating and getting active!
Sorry this is so long. Guess I put about 50 cents in instead of 2!
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I may get some backlash from this, but want to put my two cents in.
(Now if I can figure out how to write it out...)
Before anyone gets too mad at me, I AM morbidly obese. I'm not judging, and I have been there... obviously.
While I like seeing people happy and carefree, some of the "Love your body" campaigns, in my opinion, are doing more harm than good.
Whether or not anybody wants to really face it, being morbidly obese is not something they should be proud of. Many will excuse themselves because they have thyroid issues or some other metabolism issue, and they will tell you they barely eat and it must be from the "starvation mode" storing fat or some nonsense.
All these campaigns give obese people an "out". A reason to smile and not do anything about their issues. The campaigns are nothing more than an enabling device. It enables people by encouraging them to go against the grain so to speak. They are manipulative, and they are killing people every day.
No matter what a "body loving obese" person says in the bright light of day, I can guarantee you that 99% of them are disgusted when they have to wash under their rolls several times a day to avoid stinking, they hate themselves for long moments when they can't just sit up in bed to get out, but rather have to literally ROLL out of bed. They do NOT love their bodies when nobody is there to witness.... But with all the campaigns, a good percentage probably feel trapped.
Trapped because their friends think it's cool that they love themselves and are not about to follow the herd. They are rebels, they are outspoken, and damn anybody who tries to change their mind!
I see it, and I've lived it. As long as there is general acceptance and excuses that are taken with no argument... these campaigns are going to continue killing.
I am not implying that we shouldn't accept people and love them no matter what they look like, but maybe it's time for everyone to get a bit more proactive. Show people weight loss CAN be achieved by the average Joe, and show people what it is to be TRULY happy with their body with healthy eating and getting active!
Sorry this is so long. Guess I put about 50 cents in instead of 2!
Are you happy with your body and do you love your body are two completely different questions. It's like you can love someone, but know it's not healthy for either of you to be in a relationship together. Especially women think if we have a less then photoshop perfect body then we fail and are almost worthless- completely discounting all our other traits that make us amazing and unique.
We need to love ourselves enough to do better then we did yesterday.0 -
PLEASE DO NOT think this is an attack on overweight people. I'd like some nice friendly debate.
My friend who is at uni is obese (by Doctor's standards, not mine). In fact I'm pretty sure she may be verging on morbidly obese.
She's doing a project about how society perceives her and other people, because of the size they are. For example overweight people are seen as unattractive, and models are seen as beauty.
I love what she is doing I genuinely do, but I do see flaws in her argument. She clearly has issues with food, as one may have issues with food if they were a model - different issues.
My question is, should we be saying it is ok to love your body whatever your size, even if you could be severely undernourished by either eating too much of the wrong foods or not enough of the right ones?
My personal opinion is no. I think overweight people should be conscious of their health, just like an underweight person should be. I don't think it is ok to say love your body whatever the shape as this may enable continuation of unhealthy eating habits.
My sister in law acts the same way brags about how beautiful she is even though her body is literally dying because of the extra weight on her and she does not seem to care0 -
I may get some backlash from this, but want to put my two cents in.
(Now if I can figure out how to write it out...)
Before anyone gets too mad at me, I AM morbidly obese. I'm not judging, and I have been there... obviously.
While I like seeing people happy and carefree, some of the "Love your body" campaigns, in my opinion, are doing more harm than good.
Whether or not anybody wants to really face it, being morbidly obese is not something they should be proud of. Many will excuse themselves because they have thyroid issues or some other metabolism issue, and they will tell you they barely eat and it must be from the "starvation mode" storing fat or some nonsense.
All these campaigns give obese people an "out". A reason to smile and not do anything about their issues. The campaigns are nothing more than an enabling device. It enables people by encouraging them to go against the grain so to speak. They are manipulative, and they are killing people every day.
No matter what a "body loving obese" person says in the bright light of day, I can guarantee you that 99% of them are disgusted when they have to wash under their rolls several times a day to avoid stinking, they hate themselves for long moments when they can't just sit up in bed to get out, but rather have to literally ROLL out of bed. They do NOT love their bodies when nobody is there to witness.... But with all the campaigns, a good percentage probably feel trapped.
Trapped because their friends think it's cool that they love themselves and are not about to follow the herd. They are rebels, they are outspoken, and damn anybody who tries to change their mind!
I see it, and I've lived it. As long as there is general acceptance and excuses that are taken with no argument... these campaigns are going to continue killing.
I am not implying that we shouldn't accept people and love them no matter what they look like, but maybe it's time for everyone to get a bit more proactive. Show people weight loss CAN be achieved by the average Joe, and show people what it is to be TRULY happy with their body with healthy eating and getting active!
Sorry this is so long. Guess I put about 50 cents in instead of 2!
So very, very true. You will not get any backlash from me. You're gonna get a high five - good luck on your weight loss journey. I have no doubt you will be successful. :drinker:0 -
Loving yourself and healthy self confidence are separate from being happy with your physical body. Even world class atheletes would still like to get more performance out of themselves but that doesn't mean they don't love their body. People will always judge for physical reasons not just weight. Its up to you to prove yourself by actions no matter your weight. I have been fat off and on my whole life but I won't let that change the fact that I know I am pretty great. I lose weight because I get tired of how I feel and as I get older I worry more about my health. I think if you judge me based on size well f/-)! you, you will find out who I am and what I am capable of. I am not going to waste my life worrying about what others think.0
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Way too tired to read all of the replies.. but loving yourself at any size isn't about whether you want to be healthier. It's about the fact that it's YOUR business how your health is and no one should hate or dislike themselves (and no one should hate on other bodies or health as well) or their bodies regardless.0
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Yes everyone should love their body. Simple as that. To not love your body can lead to so many other things some of which are deadly. And I'm not talking weight wise , not entirely. But mentally. Some people hate their body so much they will starve themselves to death or outright just kill themselves. That isn't ok. Loving youurself including your body can help could save lives in such cases or prevent more cases like that.0
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I personally think if you truly love and appreciate your body...you will take good care of it. Feed it what it needs and exercise regularly. When you are not willing to take care of your body and keep it healthy...that doesn't say "love" to me. Sounds more like neglect.0
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As a fat person, I might not like the size/shape of my body all the time but I truly love myself and accept myself. This doesn't mean that I dont have insecurities and that I am not going to be dedicated to making healthy changes, but for me loving myself completely is necessary.0
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I personally think if you truly love and appreciate your body...you will take good care of it. Feed it what it needs and exercise regularly. When you are not willing to take care of your body and keep it healthy...that doesn't say "love" to me. Sounds more like neglect.
This sums up how I feel. For me love and respect go hand and hand. It might not be that way for everyone, but for that's just how it is.
I love and respect my body. It isn't perfect and I have a long way to before I am at my goal ( which I am sure will be forever evolving so I will always be working towards something ) but I have that goal of bettering myself because I do love and respect myself. I want to eat healthy and be active and strong and whatever. And I do it out of love and respect for myself... and to look hot naked.
If I didn't love and respect my body then I would be a couch potato eating tubs of Ben and Jerrys all day.0
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