Is total abstention easier than moderation?

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Replies

  • Just_Dot
    Just_Dot Posts: 2,283 Member
    I cannot have even a tiny bit of sugar or I go off the rails.

    Of a Crazy Train?

    Do what works for you, yo.
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
    Thanks to the OP for posting the article....think I have actually learned something about myself haha. Not that I didn't already know that i'm a true abstainer...but just never really thought about it before :flowerforyou:

    You're welcome! The great thing about the article is that it reminds us that one way isn't necessarily better than the other. The key is to know which you are and work with it! (PS: even as an 'abstainer' this tends to mean I will abstain from buying certain things or keeping them in my house on a day to day basis. When visiting friends, travelling, or on 'special' days, I will happily indulge guilt-free!)

    Yes!! I totally agree with this and it works for me. I seem to handle the moderation thingy better when I go out...not sure why but whatever works haha I'm thinkin it might have something to do with the way I was raised. We had zero junk food in the house and I mean zero...no condiments, no snack food, no nothing. On special occasions my mother would bake some yummy stuff but other then that? nothing. Which is probably why it's easier for me to just not have any. Either way...it's true...whatever gets us where we wanna be!
  • GemmaRowlands
    GemmaRowlands Posts: 360 Member
    Once I have the taste for something, I have to have MORE. When I first started losing weight, I didn't have chocolate for a full four months, and for me that was much easier than just having a little bit.
  • jenniejengin
    jenniejengin Posts: 784 Member
    bump
  • Bob314159
    Bob314159 Posts: 1,178 Member
    To add to my post above......

    Some things are better to remove entirely - they are more like poison than "treats"

    I removed soft drinks a few years ago and avoid anything with HFCS
  • iuew
    iuew Posts: 624 Member
    i enjoy foods that i used to eat in excess in moderation these days.

    i occasionally have cheeseburgers and fries, or a big family dinner. pizza about once or twice a year, because it's a lot of calories for very little food. i can't remember the last time i had a milkshake, though. those are so calorie dense that i don't even want to think about it.

    my goal has basically been sustainability. i can enjoy low fat / low cal subs most days, but i can't imagine never eating another cheeseburger.

    i'm on maintenance phase, so YMMV. however, even on the diet, i would have a burger before going onstage with my band. i figured i would burn it off anyway, and apparently i did.
  • douglasmobbs
    douglasmobbs Posts: 563 Member
    Do what you have to do to get the job done.

    I find abstention easier than moderation, but I am getting better at moderation.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,328 Member
    I need to lower my carbs for my diabetes, so for 30 days I have ditched all white carbs, refined sugar, corn and peas. I get my carbs from other good foods. When the 30 days is up, I start to SLOWLY add back some whole grain, low carb choices with an occasional treat that I can work in to my calories. It worked for me before....I just got complacent and my depression just added to the problem. I am on medication now and I feel very confident I can finally do this...and make it stick!
  • wild_wild_life
    wild_wild_life Posts: 1,334 Member
    Well said, OP. The important thing is to recognize that people are different and, even though people give advice with the best of intentions (all things in moderation!), you need to know yourself and what works for you. Personally, I'm a closet abstainer trying to be a moderator. We'll see if it lasts.
  • briannaleigh89
    briannaleigh89 Posts: 9
    I completely abstain because there is no moderation for me. I tend to go overboard and eat more than just a "moderate" amount, but it is different for everyone and you may find that totally abstaining is a lot harder than just having a little here and there.
  • xcrunnergirl13
    xcrunnergirl13 Posts: 67 Member
    I can do the moderation thing for 99% of things, but I have to avoid peanut butter altogether. One bite of anything with peanut butter, even a peanut granola bar, trigger sweet, salt, and fat cravings that make me want to eat loads of peanut butter for the whole week. Times like now, when I haven't had any in a long time, the idea of it isn't even appetizing. I agree, avoiding altogether can be better for some than moderation.
  • Robin_Bin
    Robin_Bin Posts: 1,046 Member
    Like with many things, "it depends".

    Is it easier to abstain? For many things, the short-term answer is yes. And for some things, even the long-term answer is yes.
    Is it sustainable to abstain? Not if you're talking about food. And although I might be able to give up on ice cream, chocolate (ok not realistic for me), the occasional glass of wine and other things that have high calorie to nutrition ratio, I don't want to do that for the rest of my life.

    The changes I'm making here are a lifestyle change, not a temporary weight loss (and yoyo back up) change. So for me at least, the answer is unless it's something I'm willing to do without for pretty much the rest of my life, I need to learn how to balance or moderate it.

    The other issue, for some people, is that a temporary total abstinence, feels like a deprivation. And for those people it can even lead to wanting to have more of that item and binges.

    Edit: Yes, and as others have said, there are also "trigger" foods for some. If you can't moderate something, it's good to at least recognize it and then avoid it.

    Figure you what works for you, and your goals. Good luck!
  • KyliAnnHobson
    KyliAnnHobson Posts: 551 Member
    I'm definitely a moderator. I think if I had tried to abstain from the foods I love, I would never have lost 70 lbs because I would have given up. My will power has improved tremendously over the past 11 months and I feel like I've finally found a balance that I can happily live with!
  • ktrn0312
    ktrn0312 Posts: 722 Member
    I am a believer in moderation. I live in a world where there is countless temptations . I have now learned on occasion to have two oreo cookies instead of an entire sleeve. So far it has been working for me.
  • mymission92
    mymission92 Posts: 97
    Wow this is so true, I can go months without something then once I have it, I non stop eat it!! So i'd much rather never have it, like the saying 'you don't no what ur missing' ...yes i'd rather not know!!
  • Robin_Bin
    Robin_Bin Posts: 1,046 Member
    I just read a great book called "willpower". They say the most successful people don't tell themselves "later" not "never". They talk about willpower in all areas of life and recognize weight loss/control as the second hardest challenge for people (after quitting smoking). Great book and very encouraging.

    Although we're not supposed to correct typos... I think the poster accidentally put in a word that completely messes up the meaning. I believe the note above should say

    They say the most successful people tell themselves "later" not "never".

    At least that's what I understood from listening to an interview with one of the authors. You can also see reviews at http://www.npr.org/2011/09/18/140516974/resistance-training-for-your-willpower-muscles and http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/04/books/review/willpower-by-roy-f-baumeister-and-john-tierney-book-review.html?pagewanted=all

    One of the key things they say (according to the reviews and the interview, I haven't read the book yet) is that willpower is like a muscle. It can get stronger with use, but if you strain it too far, fatigue sets in. So, do things like not having the temptation in the house or at least not in view, but also practice delaying and small steps.

    Good luck everyone!
  • rosiecotton24
    rosiecotton24 Posts: 81 Member
    I'm in the moderate camp. I just cannot abstain totally from my favorite foods, such as pizza. I LOVE pizza. But I try not to eat it too often and when I do will not eat a lot. Same with pop. I love Dr Pepper. For the most part, I drink mainly water, but will have a Dr Pepper once in awhile.
    It really really helps me when I know how many calories is in something. I just have to decide if I want to spend my allowed calories on that or not.
  • SkinnyBeth4Life
    SkinnyBeth4Life Posts: 116 Member
    most of the time i do find that true. a little can so easily turn into a lot. i'd do bettter to make a healthy version of things i want so i don't get crazy with wanting more like a feeding shark.


    ^^^This. I spend loads of time attempting healthy versions of the things I'm craving. It keeps me occupied, and away from the actual offending food, and sometimes I get it right. Even if I fail in my replication, I find that by the time I give up trying to make it healthy, I'm on to my next craving anyway.

    I also practice moderation by not keeping any of it in the house. That way, I have to make a special trip to get what I want.
  • hauntao
    hauntao Posts: 130 Member
    I think there are trigger foods that must be abstained from and others that can be enjoyed in moderation and that is what makes this so difficult.
    This is definitely true for me. Cheez-its? I must abstain, or else I'll eat the entire box. Sodas I've abstained from completely - not because It's difficult to be moderate, but because I know they're so bad for me. (I actually tried a sip of Coke last night, and it tasted horrible to me. Yay!)
    I'm definitely a moderator. I have no problem eating one scoop of ice cream or 2 slices of pizza. Having kids makes it easier because you always have someone to share with. When I was younger and I would eat something "bad", I thought "Oh well, I may as well eat 2000 more calories now." I am so glad I have gotten past that, because now I can have anything I want, and just eat a little of it.
    This is me as well. I'm in this for the long haul, and cutting everything I love completely out of my life is just too drastic for me to maintain long-term. Even though I've drastically changed my eating habits, it doesn't feel so drastic to me, because I don't feel deprived. If I told myself I couldn't have ice cream or pizza for the next year or so, I would definitely feel deprived. I don't have it every day, or even every other day, but I work it into my calorie "budget" on the days I want it.

    In fact, using the recipe builder, I've been pleasantly surprised that many of the meals I used to prepare on a regular basis can still be part of my diet - as long as I measure how much I'm eating, and not go overboard. This includes pizza - I had assumed that I couldn't have it any more, but once I entered it into the recipe builder (I make my own, including the crust), I realized I could. I just have to limit myself to two pieces instead of the usual four. I'm fine with that - I add a salad, and I'm more than satisfied.

    Yup. Same here. And I'm just realizing this after like 12 years of yo yo dieting between large weight differences resulting from abstaining for a long period of time then giving in to binge behavior for another period.
  • RoadsterGirlie
    RoadsterGirlie Posts: 1,195 Member
    I'm a mixture of both. I do eat some high calorie things I truly love in moderation, like ice cream. I will only go out for it, like going to get an ice cream cone on a hot summer day. However, I wouldn't keep something like that in the house.

    There are also things I abstain from completely, like tortilla chips and french fries - too triggering, and I can't just have a couple. In that case, it's just easier to not have them at all.

    Other high calorie foods like fried chicken wings I don't eat at all, not because I find them triggering, but because I simply find them to be "meh." If I'm gonna eat something that high in calories, it has to be something I truly love (see above mentioned ice cream lol). One of my favorite restaurants has an awesome fried fish sandwich, with full fat tarter sauce. I go out for it once a week, and love every bite.

    By practicing these things, I really do enjoy my food so much more, while at the same time maintaining a healthy weight and lifestyle. It's a win-win.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Moderation for me. It depends on what it is, what my current goals and/or wants are. I can set limits and then stick within those limits. I can decide, choose and change what the limits are depending on what I want or what does or doesn't work for me. If I do abstain from something it also does not put me at risk of a binge because I'm not a binger, I'm a moderator through and through. It does take awareness and choices, though. I am a parent and I'm married. So, I have to be able to be a moderator. It's part of being a parent and part of a family. Sometimes I choose to eat something, sometimes I choose not. The answer is not always yes or always no. The answer is sometimes.
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
    Well, I couldn't moderate my alcohol...so I haven't had a drink since 2011

    I couldn't moderate my pain pills (I lived on them during my bad back days)...so I had to cold turkey those.

    I couldn't moderate my smoking.....

    Now that I think about it, I can't really moderate *kitten*....

    So yea, I guess abstaining is easier for me.
  • KatLifter
    KatLifter Posts: 1,314 Member
    Well, I couldn't moderate my alcohol...so I haven't had a drink since 2011

    I couldn't moderate my pain pills (I lived on them during my bad back days)...so I had to cold turkey those.

    I couldn't moderate my smoking.....

    Now that I think about it, I can't really moderate *kitten*....

    So yea, I guess abstaining is easier for me.

    I'm about the same.
    When I look at nutrition information for sweets I calculate for the entire package, not just 1 serving.
    I was at my Mother's house earlier and had a few Cheez-its; I've been craving carbs and sugar all night now.
    So much easier to stay away from it for the most part.
  • Alicia_P_28
    Alicia_P_28 Posts: 76 Member
    I'm a bit of both...I just ate 6 hershey caramel kisses...and was wonderfully fine after...but put brownies in front of me and I just might try to eat them all...There's definitely things I can not just eat a bit of, so it is easier for me (at the moment) to just do without. Although, I did make amazing cheesecake crescents for a family reunion that got canceled (OMG the whole 24 servings was in my house!)..and I only ate 3 servings in a week. I was super proud of my self control (and EVEN worked out to 'earn' them)...so I know I'm getting better...but it is a lot less torture for me to avoid my triggers while I'm new with this lifestyle change. I do plan on being a 'moderator' in the future, as life without brownies, red velvet ice cream, and anything topped with extra cheese seems a little bleak.
  • PepperWorm
    PepperWorm Posts: 1,206
    I HAVE to moderate. There are only a couple of foods I can't keep around, like chips.

    Something that helps me think wisely about food choices now is money. I want my food to last because food is not cheap, so I force myself to measure and weigh and eat *only* the serving size.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    I had to abstain at first. Now I do ok with moderation.
  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
    I think moderation is better because in abstaining from something you want, you're letting that thing control you.
  • katpudda
    katpudda Posts: 8 Member
    If I don't buy it and bring it home, I won't eat it. I grew up in the "clean plate club", it being almost a sin to throw food away. It helps me not to be around trigger food. For me, I believe if I crave something enough, I will go get it, eat and savor it, and then move on.
    When I start planning to eat a specific food, (birthday cake for my birthday), I talked myself out of it and decided I really didn't want it.
    If I plan a craving, I can better manage it.
    Food and I are no longer in a relationship. I have broken up with food. Food never really loved me, and towards the end of the relationship, it did more harm than good.
    I still have a lot of weight to lose, but I will no longer use food as anything but nutrition! This I promise me.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    I think moderation is better because in abstaining from something you want, you're letting that thing control you.

    I'd rather let something control me than hurt me, if it came down to that choice (abstain or binge). Those who struggle with moderation feel as controlled or more controlled by having the food around than by abstaining from it. For me, I'm a moderate abstainer. I don't say never, but I do have foods I know I respond to poorly and so I seriously limit them in my life and usually don't buy them. Any kind of bread like item, even the gluten free and Ezekiel brand varieties, make me really hungry and I also crave more food than I need. It's usually not worth it to me to have it around, but if I really want it, I buy a pack and accept that I'll experience more cravings and hunger while they are around.

    The more I abstain, the better I do with my weight loss and fitness. I feel more overall healthy, but I know others who thrive on eating treats in moderation (a portion nightly, for instance.)
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
    Everything in moderation, including moderation.
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