Is total abstention easier than moderation?

"A piece of advice I often see is, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”

I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they try to make moderate changes, when they avoid absolutes and bright lines.

For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often, two and even three times a day, I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count’?” etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

There’s no right way or wrong way–it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. "

So, what about you guys? Are you moderators or abstainers?

For the rest of the article: http://happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2012/05/quiz-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

Sounds like you have an eating disorder

I used to have no self control, especially when it came to sweets. I couldn't just have 2 slices of pizza, i had to have 5. or i had to eat the whole pint of ice cream instead of just two scoops. But ever since I decided to make this a lifestyle thing, i knew i had to learn moderation whether i like it or not, because Im stubborn and there's no way I'm giving up my chocolate!!!! lol. So now I have nestle toll-house cookies in my freezer and Nutella in my pantry. They've been there for a month and I've only touched them twice
I still have my burger and my pizza here and there and I also drink occasionally. I never feel guilty about it because I have enough self control now to stop at 2 slices of pizza. Definitely feels great to have that kind of discipline. But that's just me. Different people have different triggers. At the end of the day, you have to do what works for you, and if having a little chocolate doesn't work then it's best to stay away from it all together.

I'd rather let something control me than hurt me, if it came down to that choice (abstain or binge).

It's not, though. That's a false dichotomy. Abstaining from something because you would binge otherwise gives that thing an enormous amount of power over you. I think that giving yourself the freedom to do [ill-advised thing] if you really, really want to takes away that power, which might lead to what is in effect abstention, but because you've chosen it, not because you've designated the thing you can't have as bad and forbidden. I think that making things bad and forbidden leads to fixation on those things and leads to the disordered all-or-none approach to it. I don't think that's a good way to live.

I'm an abstainer but I've also dabbled in moderation. I definitely prefer abstaining but i'm not super militant... if I do DECIDE to have something I know it's easier to abstain from I go in knowing full well the next week I'll have cravings and blood sugar swings (I'm specifically talking about processed carbs for me) So I'm not going to NOT have a slice of cake at my son's birthday party but I go in knowing FULL WELL I will obsess over every bite until it's over and then some.

"A piece of advice I often see is, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”

I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they try to make moderate changes, when they avoid absolutes and bright lines.

For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often, two and even three times a day, I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count’?” etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

There’s no right way or wrong way–it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. "

So, what about you guys? Are you moderators or abstainers?

For the rest of the article: http://happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2012/05/quiz-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

Ditto. When it comes to sugar, moderation is not helpful for me. Total cold turkey relieves me of the agonizing battle and circumvents the sugar crazies! Easier said than done. I ate a stupid (not worthwhile dessert) last night.

My triggers specifically are sugars and refined carbs so I have found some substitutions. I can eat 2 Russel Stover Sugar Free Mint Patties without cravings because it doesn't affect my blood sugar. I can have some black bean brownies without consequence either. I think as long as I choose foods, or smart substitutions, that are kind to my blood sugar I can be a moderator quite nicely. It's when I have to eat things that make my blood sugar go crazy that I become a binger/craver/hangry! lol

Ive done both. I lost 100 lbs in OA (no wheat or sugar for 8 months) but this time Im doing it differently. Calories in, Cals out. I eat clean 80% and let myself "cheat" now and again. I dont like to call it cheating but thats the lingo lol I like to think of it as I CAN eat anything I want. I just CHOOSE to eat healthy. Even still, I let myself have a cookie now and again. Sometimes it works that way, sometimes I lose it and eat too many. Such is my life long battle with my tastebuds lol. Interestingly, with my few food slips along the way I am losing at the same rate I was when I was 100% abstinent. So that makes me ask myself if abstinence is NECESSARY? I think its really up to you. Be totally honest yourself. Will having a cookie (for example) throw you off completely? cause you to stop eating clean and working out? if so, its not worth even one bite. I cant bring sweets into the house, and thats hard because I have kids so occasionally it happens. Every time it does I eat more than I should. My solution? Add it to MFP and MOVE FORWARD with my next meal. Its getting to the point where when Im grocery shopping I ask myself "Is it worth it?" or Ill say " no thats setting me up for a fall if I bring that in". The point it, I have a choice. Id much rather save a splurge for that office birthday party or pizza night that invariably pops up in life. When those times come, I say, Ive put in the work, I CAN partake. Cheers!

Complete abstinence would lead to a meltdown for me.

Moderation? No problem.

This is me. I am in the moderation camp. If I abstain from eating favorite foods, it only makes me want to eat it more. What I do many times is tweak recipes so they fit into my macros and calories. For instants, I buy whole-wheat pizza crust dough from Trader Joe's and divide it into single servings (and freeze the rest for later). I make my own pizzas, and that way I don't blow my calories for the day. i believe in working smarter, not harder when it comes to weight loss.

At home, there are certain things I just can't have around or I will find myself trying to fit another serving...or another serving...or another serving...into my daily calorie intake. That means at the end of the day, I haven't left enough room for nutritious foods I need for protein, etc.. I do much better when the trigger foods aren't there at all.

When out with family or friends, I can do the moderation thing. I have been on diets which were so limiting that going out to eat was a miserable experience for everyone. I was bitter because I couldn't eat anything tasty, and other people felt guilty eating it in front of me. I can remember my daughter saying, "No, let's don't go to that restaurant because mom can't have anything on the menu." MFP has taught me that I can eat out (once in a while) without drawing attention to the fact that I'm watching my calories. I can get something really tasty and just eat some it, if the portion is huge. And if Grandmom bakes a special treat, she won't notice if I don't eat every bite of the serving on my plate...but she'll feel badly if I tell her I can't eat it at all.

Oh man, I agree with you so totally! Same thing applies to me! A slightly different situation would be my two pregnancies! I'm a coffee drinker and love the taste! With my first pregnancy I avoided coffee totally until the third trimester and then I had a few cups in the last few months, my second we found that coffee helped with my severe morning sickness and I was given the ok to drink two cups a day! I STRUGGLED to only have the two cups and failed several times! Not having it at all was SO much easier! Now I'm applying that to junk food and the like! I also just found out that my baby can't tolerate dairy in my breastmilk, I thought that giving up dairy would be SO hard! But again, saying no to it all is not that hard! Not to mention, I know that it will really affect my baby so that's an added incentive to stay strong! I think you're right in saying it works for some people and not for others!

All or nothing. Absolutely cut out whatever your triggers are... Cut them out COMPLETELY.

BUT, I say only cut them out COMPLETELY for a few phases while you're trying to get healthier, lose weight, & get trimmer. Once you're ready for maintenance, THEN moderation is an option again. That is what has always worked for me, anyway...

From all the posts I'm reading, whether one is an abstainer or is moderate, it seems to depend on whether one feels a sense of deprivation. It looks to me like abstainers and moderates who are successful both focus on what they can have, rather than what they can't have. My diet at the moment (if you just glimpsed at my diary) looks pretty strict, but I would consider myself moderate, because to handle the feelings of deprivation, it's important to tell myself that I can have anything I want.

Plus, for me, healthy substitutions and alternatives make a big difference (such as homemade chocolate bars vs packaged chocolate bars)

It is different for each individual.

Personally, I advocate the "nothing is off limit" approach; if I want it, I will have it. The moment I deny myself the opportunity to have something, whether it is food, drink or an item of clothing, I will want it with a burning passion and end up binging on it.

This took me ages to understand, and I'm not saying it is the right or wrong way - what works for me may not work for another. But I would rather lose less weight per month and actually be able to relax (do not read that as "cheating" - I've remained under my calories for over 60 days) than preventing myself from socialising (for example). Because, after you've lost weight - then what? Are you going to carry on denying yourself that food or drink? Probably not - it's rare that we can completely exclude an item of food or drink from our diet unless we are allergic or have medical reasons. Combine that with the fact that food may have been your downfall, and you'll crave it like nothing else.

It really does depend on mindset though - I have a square of chocolate each day - dark chocolate with mint, and that satisfies my craving for sugar and do not eat anymore unless I can justify it.

I have tried to be moderate with soda, and it has just not worked.

My new rule is 'Only when driving more than ten hours in one day, and only buying enough for the road. No more cases.'