Whats up with the unfriendly pple in MFP???

I've been here a while and cultivated a great friends list. I also tend to overshare as I get more comfortable. So I don't add new people very often unless I have a vague idea they would be a good fit. Maybe some people think that is not being supportive but really, I'm not here for YOU, I'm here for me.

Yeah some people can get mean. I commented on a post to try and help someone and someone jumped in saying how wrong I was and its all off even though what i said made me loose 20 lbs and my trainer told me it lol. Its really annoying but I just brush it off cause no matter what they're gunna be b*tchy

I agree that some people can be mean, but I checked that posting and they weren't being mean or b*tchy. They were telling you what's healthy. (I'm assuming you are talking about this post: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1011197-to-eat-or-not-to-eat-that-is-my-question) They also explained why they said what they said.
They didn't say "oh you're dumb". THAT is mean and rude and uncalled for. They didn't say that because they don't think that. They think you may have been misguided. And they want to help. :flowerforyou:


There are lots of unfriendly people on here.
But there are a lot of friendly and super helpful people on here too that get mistaken for unfriendly because they are brutally honest when answering questions. They have been in many situations that other newer people ask about, and they want newer people to not deal with all the BS they went through. So they give the straightforward blunt truth which often gets mistaken for bullying, being mean, rudeness, etc... They are also quick to correct things when someone gives out false information. Something that also gets mistaken for rudeness, etc...

Thing is, if they keep being called rude and mean, they will eventually stop helping. And I dread that day.... :frown:

Oh. Of course. From what I've seen, the meanie threads, and their supporters, are related to a prior post where the OP was given solid information, albeit without too much handholding. smh

Careful....

Oh come now. So what you're saying is people would rather get warm and fuzzy internet hugs, and "atta girls/boys" while they go on VLCDs and sweat for hours a day on programs that won't get them to their goals and may actually cause lasting harm, than to be told the plain, unvarnished truth so they can instead achieve their goals in a most efficient manner? Yea. Okay. You're right . . .

Yeah some people can get mean. I commented on a post to try and help someone and someone jumped in saying how wrong I was and its all off even though what i said made me loose 20 lbs and my trainer told me it lol. Its really annoying but I just brush it off cause no matter what they're gunna be b*tchy

I agree that some people can be mean, but I checked that posting and they weren't being mean or b*tchy. They were telling you what's healthy. (I'm assuming you are talking about this post: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1011197-to-eat-or-not-to-eat-that-is-my-question) They also explained why they said what they said.
They didn't say "oh you're dumb". THAT is mean and rude and uncalled for. They didn't say that because they don't think that. They think you may have been misguided. And they want to help. :flowerforyou:


There are lots of unfriendly people on here.
But there are a lot of friendly and super helpful people on here too that get mistaken for unfriendly because they are brutally honest when answering questions. They have been in many situations that other newer people ask about, and they want newer people to not deal with all the BS they went through. So they give the straightforward blunt truth which often gets mistaken for bullying, being mean, rudeness, etc... They are also quick to correct things when someone gives out false information. Something that also gets mistaken for rudeness, etc...

Thing is, if they keep being called rude and mean, they will eventually stop helping. And I dread that day.... :frown:

Oh. Of course. From what I've seen, the meanie threads, and their supporters, are related to a prior post where the OP was given solid information, albeit without too much handholding. smh

Careful....

Oh come now. So what you're saying is people would rather get warm and fuzzy internet hugs, and "atta girls/boys" while they go on VLCDs and sweat for hours a day on programs that won't get them to their goals and may actually cause lasting harm, than to be told the plain, unvarnished truth so they can instead achieve their goals in a most efficient manner? Yea. Okay. You're right . . .

I just want to make sure you're not misunderstood and your solid info isn't construed as mean.

I'm not sure what you wanted to accomplish with this post. Saying "People are mean" isn't going to *change* the mean people. If anything, it will attract them to your post to be mean some more.

Maybe it is the lack of food and people are just hangry

Annd. This.. is the hardest I've laughed all day. Such a good point!! Thanks! lol

No matter how many hundreds of times this is mentioned, it remains as funny as it was the first time.

When people are mean, report them by holding the Alt key and then press F4, and that'll bring up the report window.

this.

also, disagreeing =/= "mean."

i agree in the meanest possible way. :flowerforyou:

People generally see what they want to see - on forums and in real life.


If you think everyone is a big meanie, check yourself. If that is how you approach/filter the world, you're going to find a lot of that. Assume the best in people, and that's what you'll see.

On any given thread, there will be 98% helpful suggestions and 2% sarcasm or flippancy.

Choose to see the 98%. Your life will be ever so much more enjoyable.

Nobody has an obligation to cushion-pad good advice. Take it as information and move on.

What you're doing is basically complaining about the birthday present someone gave you because they wrapped it in the wrong color paper.

Yeah some people can get mean. I commented on a post to try and help someone and someone jumped in saying how wrong I was and its all off even though what i said made me loose 20 lbs and my trainer told me it lol. Its really annoying but I just brush it off cause no matter what they're gunna be b*tchy

I agree that some people can be mean, but I checked that posting and they weren't being mean or b*tchy. They were telling you what's healthy. (I'm assuming you are talking about this post: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1011197-to-eat-or-not-to-eat-that-is-my-question) They also explained why they said what they said.
They didn't say "oh you're dumb". THAT is mean and rude and uncalled for. They didn't say that because they don't think that. They think you may have been misguided. And they want to help. :flowerforyou:


There are lots of unfriendly people on here.
But there are a lot of friendly and super helpful people on here too that get mistaken for unfriendly because they are brutally honest when answering questions. They have been in many situations that other newer people ask about, and they want newer people to not deal with all the BS they went through. So they give the straightforward blunt truth which often gets mistaken for bullying, being mean, rudeness, etc... They are also quick to correct things when someone gives out false information. Something that also gets mistaken for rudeness, etc...

Thing is, if they keep being called rude and mean, they will eventually stop helping. And I dread that day.... :frown:

Oh. Of course. From what I've seen, the meanie threads, and their supporters, are related to a prior post where the OP was given solid information, albeit without too much handholding. smh

Careful....

Oh come now. So what you're saying is people would rather get warm and fuzzy internet hugs, and "atta girls/boys" while they go on VLCDs and sweat for hours a day on programs that won't get them to their goals and may actually cause lasting harm, than to be told the plain, unvarnished truth so they can instead achieve their goals in a most efficient manner? Yea. Okay. You're right . . .

I just want to make sure you're not misunderstood and your solid info isn't construed as mean.

Pushy. Not mean by any standard other than, perhaps, MFP. And honestly, I'd rather be construed as mean, than to support VLCDs or other hair brained ideas.

Agreed, I was trying to play along.

Hmm... I think I may have an understanding of some things now. Those of us (and I say "us" because I have been there) who think people are being 'mean' are perceiving them as being mean, when in reality, they aren't. It seems like we think they are mean or rude simply because they disagreed with us. I really think that's something that us sensitive people need to get over.. Give it a week or so and go back and re-read what you thought was mean. I can almost guarantee that you will no longer see it as mean but simply someone just disagreeing with you and explaining why. I know it can seem like they are rude because you are so wrapped in your opinion and people don't see your opinion to be right so you have everyone jumping in to tell you how your way is wrong, so it results in you feeling almost like a victim, but that isn't true. It really is a matter of perspective. Try looking at the replies as informative instead of mean or rude...

Now I gathered this just from my own experience and observations of what people are referring to as mean or rude... this is my opinion on why we sensitive people tend to take informative replies that disagree with us the wrong way..

I've been here a while and cultivated a great friends list. I also tend to overshare as I get more comfortable. So I don't add new people very often unless I have a vague idea they would be a good fit. Maybe some people think that is not being supportive but really, I'm not here for YOU, I'm here for me.

Exactly. I don't even declare that I need a message with a friend request, but I do. Not because I think I'm special, but because after 18 months, I've got a friend list full of people that mesh with me. When I get random friend requests, if I'm feelif charitable, I'll devote about 8 seconds to trying to figure out how you found me and why you think we'll be a good match. If I can't figure it out, I'm done. Because I am very involved with my friends, and there is a limit to the number of people I can keep up with, I'm not adding people just because. I'm not adding someone that I can't support-be that because I already have a full list, or because it's someone without a sense of humor, or someone who is fasting/"jump starting" their weight loss/only logging in once a week/posting every Monday how they blew it over the weekend/etc. I want my mfp friends to be people that I jive with, and I can't fathom why someone would want otherwise. If there's someone you wan to be friends with, send them a request and tell them why. That's not an unreasonable request.

It's really only a few people that are unfriendly.

I am very positive, I log everything, try to do 30 minutes of exercise every day and have an open diary. I've lost 2#/week since joining in April and I'll be here for the long haul because I'm committed to reaching my goal weight. Feel free to add me.

Hi everyone,

I have recently started my weight loss journey (5 days) and I signed up with MFP from the beginning. As you might have experienced the first weeks are the worst but I'm still happy to be doing this. I find MFP very helpful and I love reading through "success stories" but its such a turn off to encounter some posts where it says "DO NOT COMMENT ON THIS CHALLENGE UNLESS YOU ARE PART OF THE 100 PEOPLE THAT ARE ALREADY PART OF THE GROUP. " or do not add/msge if you don't know me. Are we back to highschool??? I thought we're here to support each other with our weight loss challenges!!! Anyway, I would love to get some support.

and now you know why children are bullies because they learn it from their parents...:grumble:
Hugs..add me if you like

There are some people on here who think there is only one way to lose weight, but there are a lot more who just want to support you.

Don't listen to any of the negativity, ignore them if you have to. Tell them you only eat 1200 calories a day, that really pisses them off.

I eat 1200 a day plus my workout calories..but then again I am only 5ft tall...I don't need much more..OH and tell them you eat cheeseburgers see them really go nuts...:laugh:

I get that feeling here as well. Some people think that everyone has to do things they way they do it or they're wrong. Wish they had an ignore button.

You can select ignore just under your profile pic. Click on the little downward arrow.