Cheating vs. Flirting (what's the difference)

In my opinion, if you are flirting with someone with the intention of taking it further it's cheating but just playful flirtation where both parties know that nothing will ever come from it is ok.

I agree with the above poster. I would be more upset about the lying and hiding things. What else is she lying about you know? I define cheating as being physical or the thought of being physical with someone that isn't your significant other. But everyone definition is different. Hope things work out for you, with or without her!

IMO if I would hide it from my husband it is a no no. I think cheating is physical intimacy but I think that cheating would have happened had they met. I personally am very flirtatious but my husband knows i am and I have never done anything I would feel the need to hide from him.

I agree with the above poster. I would be more upset about the lying and hiding things. What else is she lying about you know? I define cheating as being physical or the thought of being physical with someone that isn't your significant other. But everyone definition is different. Hope things work out for you, with or without her!

agreed.

It sounds like emotional cheating. If you tell her you're uncomfortable with how close she is to this guy and she doesn't listen at all, she isn't taking your feelings into consideration. The fact that she is hiding her talks with him shows she feels guilty or knows what she is doing is crossing some sort of line. Try talking with her, go on a date and focus on each other and discuss it. Open up! If she listens and wants to change that's good. She may not realize her actions are hurting you. However, like said as soon as she started hiding it it meant she knew it was wrong. With women, physical cheating often starts with emotional cheating. Maybe she feels something is lacking and is trying to fill the gap. Which is wrong, she needs to tell you if she feels emotionally deprived or wants to talk more or whatever her reasoning is. Physical or emotional cheating is not ok, although emotional cheating is not as easy to spot or as black and white.

Eh, I consider cheating doing anything with someone that I would feel the need to hide from my partner, but that doesn't mean that that's something another couple has to live by. Some couples flirt outside of their relationship to keep it fresh! Tyra once said on her own, "My man can look at whoever he wants, but he comes home and only puts it down with me" <<or something to that effect. For some people, that's good enough!

If YOU feel like you were disrespected, voice your opinions in a mature way. Make boundaries/standards for your relationship. If she can't respect the expectations you have, or lies about them, then perhaps you need to rethink your relationship status....

But the lying, hiding and attempting to meet without saying anything....oh she was in it for the D. For sure.

I guess it depends on what you both want out of the relationship.

Our finding (married perspective) is that to have private areas outside the view of the other partner for these kinds of social interactions allows no accountability.

I wanted to commit to someone who was comfortable with some boundaries that would make each of us feel safe. I choose to primarily connect cross gender only with people who I am friends with husband and wife, do not private message often with those people, and do not text as a form of regular communication cross gender unless it's related to scheduling or details. Those boundaries make us both feel valued, honored, and safe. So often I hear "Don't you trust me? You know I love you!" That's not really the issue. The issue is making the other person feel secure, whatever it takes. To honor and prefer them above all else, and to communicate that you are their "one and only"...that is important to us. We've been married for 20+ years. We've had to readjust as things like social media came along.

When social media is interfering with healthy boundaries, it is something easy to make mutual changes for the strengthening of the primary relationship. We feel it is best to maintain open facebook accounts, phones accessibl...unless it's close to Christmas. We don't check on one another regularly, but if there was a felt need, it would not be a problem. There's just too much room for failure if you want a long-term relationship commitment.

Nope. You will always be looking over your shoulder wondering.
Once doubt has been placed in your mind, it will always be there.
I don't know why you think they will prolly never meet because of distance.
Its a possibility, If he has the money to send for her. Especially if she wants to go.
In my mind if a girl is in love w/you there will be no secret texting or exchanging #'s ever.
Im a Right winged dater tho and Im extreme w/dating, Loyal to a fault.
In my experience, there is no distance that will keep me away from someone that Im into.
The fact that she kept it from you is a Red Flag.

If you have to hide it, your guilty. IMO

If I caught my husband doing the same, i'd go white girl crazy on him. Especially if he hid it.

In my humble opinion, cheating can be classified as anything you would not do in front of your significant other without shame or embarrassment for either of you. Also, if its something you feel the need to lie about, its probably something you (or in this case she) shouldn't be doing.

Yep, this.

Ditto!