i have no friends but at least i have jesus

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  • ichoose2believe
    ichoose2believe Posts: 108 Member
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    jesus-says-meme-generator-jesus-says-yeah-buddy-5648dc.jpg

    HELL YES!!!!
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
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    Don't people who believe in Jesus assemble in groups once or twice a week? Seems like a good way to meet people. Actually, when I was single I was considering believing in Jesus because not only would I probably be happier, but more women than men go to church so I figured I could find myself a 9 despite being a 6. However, I just couldn't get past the lack of hard evidence to favor one religion or another, so I gave up and just found myself a cute sinner.
  • JaneDough_
    JaneDough_ Posts: 301 Member
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  • twanthe1
    twanthe1 Posts: 407
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    Jesus is from TX so it's all good.
  • CarolinaGirlinVA
    CarolinaGirlinVA Posts: 1,512 Member
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    have-you-found-jesus.jpg
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
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    Want a FUN god? Go with Krishna!
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    tumblr_mdumaxh9SG1r70t47o1_500.gif

    Raver Jesus!

    I don't know why but that reminds me of that old joke:

    Q: why can't you hold a Nativity Play in Nottingham
    A: where are you going to find 3 wise men and a virgin in Nottingham???
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
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    Want a FUN god? Go with Krishna!

    I'm partial to Bacchus
  • wifeymou1112
    wifeymou1112 Posts: 129 Member
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    I do too, He mows my lawn every Tuesday.

    BTW, Thread locked in 10, 9, 8....

    :laugh: :drinker:

    just that XD
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
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    Jesus' brother Craig is WAY cooler...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPdFrW076R0



    OMG, Stephen Lynch fan! I nearly choked on my coffee!! (So politically incorrect and hilarious, the voice of a choirboy and lyrics twisted as all hell.)
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
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    tumblr_mdumaxh9SG1r70t47o1_500.gif

    Raver Jesus!

    I don't know why but that reminds me of that old joke:

    Q: why can't you hold a Nativity Play in Nottingham
    A: where are you going to find 3 wise men and a virgin in Nottingham???

    Oh, we're doing jesus jokes now?

    Ok ...

    So Jesus Christ walks into a hotel, throws three nails on the counter and says; "can you put me up for the night?"
  • JuniperT
    JuniperT Posts: 394 Member
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    I prefer the great mystical pink unicorn. She poops calorie free sprinkles on every meal for me.

    Is that where those "sensa" sprinkles come from? :sick:



    :laugh: :drinker: my first thought too
  • luvmydog2
    luvmydog2 Posts: 243 Member
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    Satan is a much better cook.
    [/quote]

    Do you think ? He burns everything ! .... ( Chuckle )
  • JuniperT
    JuniperT Posts: 394 Member
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    I prefer the great mystical pink unicorn. She poops calorie free sprinkles on every meal for me.

    Is that where those "sensa" sprinkles come from? :sick:



    :laugh: :drinker: my first thought too
  • JaneDough_
    JaneDough_ Posts: 301 Member
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    smOnF.jpg
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
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    Quick! Somebody mentioned a religious figure in an open forum!
    tumblr_mm4xi7qTdA1r72enko1_500.gif
  • m_a_b
    m_a_b Posts: 71 Member
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    tumblr_mdumaxh9SG1r70t47o1_500.gif

    Raver Jesus!

    I don't know why but that reminds me of that old joke:

    Q: why can't you hold a Nativity Play in Nottingham
    A: where are you going to find 3 wise men and a virgin in Nottingham???

    Oh, we're doing jesus jokes now?

    Ok ...

    So Jesus Christ walks into a hotel, throws three nails on the counter and says; "can you put me up for the night?"

    Jesus finds a small crowd who has surrounded a young woman they believed to be a prostitute. They are preparing to stone her to death. To diffuse the situation, Jesus says: “Whoever is without sin among you, let them cast the first stone.” Suddenly, an old lady at the back of the crowd picks up a rock and scores a direct hit on the woman’s head, breaking her skull and rendering her dead on the spot. Jesus frowns and looks over at the old lady: “Do you know, Mother, sometimes you really piss me off.”
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    I am happy that you feel you have a friend in Jesus.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
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    I don't have friends OR Jesus, but at least I have cable TV.

    I will be praying for you.

    Don't pray for me. Pray that George R.R. Martin lives to finish A Song of Ice and Fire. Thanks.


    Don't pray for that either. Pray that Patrick Rothfuss will finish his trilogy before his fans implode. (p.s., if you haven't read The Name Of The Wind, do it. NOW. Better than wonderful.)
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
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    tumblr_mdumaxh9SG1r70t47o1_500.gif

    Raver Jesus!

    I don't know why but that reminds me of that old joke:

    Q: why can't you hold a Nativity Play in Nottingham
    A: where are you going to find 3 wise men and a virgin in Nottingham???

    Oh, we're doing jesus jokes now?

    Ok ...

    So Jesus Christ walks into a hotel, throws three nails on the counter and says; "can you put me up for the night?"

    Jesus finds a small crowd who has surrounded a young woman they believed to be a prostitute. They are preparing to stone her to death. To diffuse the situation, Jesus says: “Whoever is without sin among you, let them cast the first stone.” Suddenly, an old lady at the back of the crowd picks up a rock and scores a direct hit on the woman’s head, breaking her skull and rendering her dead on the spot. Jesus frowns and looks over at the old lady: “Do you know, Mother, sometimes you really piss me off.”

    Jesus and Moses are walking along the beach when Moses says, "You know what? I'm going to try and part the ocean again." He throws his hands in the air and, magically, the ocean parts.

    Jesus sees this and says, "I'm going to try to walk on water again." He walks up to the water, takes a step on top and sinks.

    Moses says, "Try it again, Jesus. It's been a while." Jesus tries again, and once more, he sinks.

    Jesus comes out of the water and says, "I know what the problem is. When I walked on water before, I didn't have holes in my feet."
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