The Silent Treatment: Does it work?

It's emotionally abusive and no one deserves it.

And for the person who said they use it on their kids, that was one of my mother's parenting techniques. It didn't work out so well. Pretending like you don't care at all about your kids or what they say or want is very harmful. Silence should never be punishment.

I think you should probably rethink your relationship and your method of dealing with problems.

My kids know how much they mean to me, so don't get slating me as a parent you don't know me or my children, shouting never works with my two they just hear noise, this works for us as a family and the silent treatment lasts 10 mins max, don't judge others on your own relationship with your mother.

I feel sorry for your kids. :frown:

Don't be they have a lovely life, but I think I feel for you go speak to your mother ????

Mommy issues and internet parenting expert...great combo. You do what works for you, it may or may not be someone else's cup of tea but I can think of a lot worse emotional abuse than the silent treatment.

I think the silent treatment is essentially manipulative and passive aggressive. If it works, it means that you have just raised the anxiety level in another person to such a degree that they submit, whether or not its in their or the relationships best interest. Why would I want to do that to someone I love? I think its an aggressive act where the essential motivation is to "win" and have the other person "lose". If that's the dynamic in the relationship, then count me out.

If I lose my cool and get angry, I will be quiet until I can figure out what to say, then I try to speak directly, clearly, and compassionately until we are both happy again. I can't imagine just trying to hurt another person until I get my way....where is the joy in that? When my husband understands where I am coming from, values me and my feelings - even if we disagree - then its all good from there.

Leave the dominance/submission stuff for the bedroom.

If I ever resort to the silent treatment it means I don't care enough about you to treat you like a human and talk to you in a reasonable way.

And, if you give me the silent treatment, I will assume the same is true. I will tell you how I feel and we will never have that happen again or we will not be in a "relationship" any longer.

As an adult, I don't have time for petty bullsh!t. Let's just work it out or part ways.

Personally I HATE it.
It's not a way I chose to resolve conflict and NOTHING will make me angry and hurt faster.

Do it to me long enough in a friendship and you'll find I stopped caring that I don't hear from you.

My fiance does this as well and I hate hate hate it for how passive agrressive it is. Can't we just fight and get to the good part of fighting?

Not with me. I like silence; I find it peaceful. Most of the time I only speak when there is something to be said. Someone not talking to me isn't going to bother me. My boyfriend however hates silence. It unnerves him and brings up negative emotions. Given him the "silent treatment" would be bad/potentially damaging.

Same here !

No keeps me from hurting the other person though

My grandma was deaf... does that mean my grandpa lived a life full of happiness?

Doesnt work for me.

My husband acts like nothings wrong when Im quiet and will go on about his day. And I'd never use it on my daughter because talking works with her. He is as non observant as they come and if i dont lay out the details and explain to him everything, he'll think everythings just peachy lol.

If talking decides not to work one day for my daughter I ever so gently lean close to her ear and calmly say "You have 5 minutes to redirect your attitude or there will be consequences" and she about craps herself every time and straightens her little butt right up.

No. Truth be told, sometimes the silent treatment is the nicest thing you can do to us. He's being appreciative, not oblivious.

I can understand being quiet when you want to collect your thoughts or be in your own head for a while. Not everyone wants to talk it out all the time, but as far as using silence as a tool to be passive aggressive? I'd like to think that as adults, we're a little past that.

IMHO, emotional games are useless, manipulative, and stupid.

Use your words.

by all means use the silent treatment, and "cutting off" will surely be effective, particularly on a SO predisposed to cheat.

Silence is not the way to go but I would rather that than the confrontation tactic a lot of woman use.

Cut me off at your own peril. Thats a weapon to only be used only as a last resort. Its like a nucular weapon. Sex is a base need to men like food and water.
This would be a deal breaker for me. Its over....