spouse/significant other changes attitude with weight loss?
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Not really. My husband has not really been responding differently. But he's always treated me like I was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. He's a sweetheart.0
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Mine met me at my heaviest and has been telling me that I'm a babe ever since. So, no change with 15-20 pound weight loss.0
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I think that we all deserve to be supported0
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My husband truly doesn't care what I look like. He's seen me at my best when I was younger, hugely pregnant, overweight, skinny fat and everything in between. His b0ners look the same. He's never been disparaging when I'm not taking care of myself and he's encouraging when I am. I read about some of these awful things that people who are supposed to love and care for each other say and I can't imagine how much harder pulling oneself out of a slump can be unless there's a defiance to dig deep and prove someone wrong.0
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Sadly my boyfriend is not supportive at all. I love him to death but he never says anything encouraging - and has recently starting making random hurtful comments. The latest and greatest was last night - when I was getting changed to do my exercise he says "Your butt has changed, it isn't as nice anymore, it's getting too small" I brushed this off and went about my business. Then, he proceeds to actually point out the girls in my Turbo Fire DVD that have good butts. "See! This is a nice butt" That is honestly what he said. WHILE I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF MY EXERCISE.
It really upsets me that he is not only not supporting me but is now trying to discourage me or make me feel bad for trying to be healthier and get into shape.
I took pics yesterday for my "Before and After" 30 Day Shred and he says to me "Well, there is alittle difference - nothing drastic"
WTF??? This was a HUGE accomplishment for me - that included 6.6 more lbs lost and 11 inches!!
Ok - sorry - RANT over
Can you tell I am alittle upset :-( lol
Everyone that has a supportive other half - please dont take them for granted!!
It's possible that he prefers women on the chunkier side. Some guys do. I was with one of those once, lost some weight, and got criticized for it. Some women like a paunch on a man. Becoming thinner isn't to everyone's taste. I did what I felt was best for me, anyway, and we broke up. Having someone else's support is nice, but there are some things that I'm doing for myself, and I will ignore dissenting opinions.0 -
To all of you with unsupportive girlfriends or boyfriends...DUMP THEM! RIGHT NOW! SERIOUSLY! And to the married folks with unsupportive spouses...I am truly sorry. That breaks my heart, it really does. A spouse should be your number one supporter. And I personally feel that some people have such a low level of self-esteem that they can't handle being with someone who's actually attractive out of a fear that they'll leave so they try to discourage their SO from getting healthy and attractive.
Since losing the weight and becoming healthier in general, health and fitness are now deal-breakers for me in a man. I can no longer tolerate someone who doesn't live a healthy and at least somewhat active lifestyle. I've changed and I'm a new person now and I'm no longer compatible with an unhealthy, inactive person. I could never be with a man who eats an enormous amount of greasy, fried, fatty garbage, sits around all day, and makes fun of people who work out and go to the gym. We'd have nothing in common anymore.0 -
My husband and I are both overweight. He has been INCREDIBLY supportive of me - making it easier for me to take the time away from him and the kids to go to the gym, go to taekwondo, go out running, etc. He has also been much more interested in being intimate lately, but I think it may be more of an attitude thing with me more than anything. I have more energy and more desire myself, so he's picking up on that.
I really wish that he would join me in my healthier lifestyle, but I know from my own prior experience that if you are not mentally ready and motivated on your own that it just won't work. So I keep encouraging him to join me, and don't criticize when he doesn't. He has been supportive of the fact that I have started cooking healthier foods, subbing ground turkey for beef, etc. But I also allow him to eat the foods that he wants and loves and will make something healthier for myself at times. I hope that eventually he will get on the wagon with me, but in the mean time, as long as he continues to be so supportive and wonderful of the change I am making in myself, I will allow him to live in the way that he chooses.
Anyway, things haven't changed so much, but my attitude has, and it has made a difference!0 -
Mine met me at my heaviest and has been telling me that I'm a babe ever since. So, no change with 15-20 pound weight loss.
Same here! If I open up about how I feel about my body image, though, whoa-ho... can't open that can of worms.
So unsupportive and condescending once he sees that I'm struggling. *sigh* Just keep cycling.. just keep cycling..0 -
When I was at my heaviest, my spouse was not interested in sex with me. I did not tell him when I started trying to lose weight and he did not notice until I had lost 10 lbs. He then forgot about it, until I had lost another 10 lbs (this took about 4 months). As I have continued to lose weight his interest in me has picked up, but he has no interest in supporting my weight loss efforts with watching the kids so I can go to the gym or not bringing tempting high calorie foods into the house or avoiding fast foods. I specifically asked for a gym membership for Christmas last year and he said okay, but 6 months later I have never received it. I have now lost 48 lbs and just want to reduce BF.
Last month he decides, he wants to lose weight. He is a good 75 lbs over weight. He goes on the HCG diet, drops 24 lbs, and now tells me this morning he wants to have sex this weekend. He hasn't romantically touched me 18 months and I am supposed to be overjoyed that he is showing interest in me again? Don't think so...:grumble:0 -
Last month he decides, he wants to lose weight. He is a good 75 lbs over weight. He goes on the HCG diet, drops 24 lbs, and now tells me this morning he wants to have sex this weekend. He hasn't romantically touched me 18 months and I am supposed to be overjoyed that he is showing interest in me again? Don't think so...:grumble:
Well this tells you that it was about him, not about you, so that should make you feel better. I know you didn't ask advice, but I think you should rekindle the spark. If you want to have a good marriage that is.0 -
I feel really grateful for my husband because he has been super supportive of me. He is very thin himself, at the ideal 22 BMI. He always monitors his weight and regulates what he eats. His parents taught him how to live a healthy lifestyle and he has never had a problem.
I, on the other hand, come from a family that has a lot of health problems from being obese, and I was at my heaviest when we started dating and eventually got married. He would always tell me how beautiful I am. He would also say that given my family's history with health problems that he was worried that I would have health problems as well, and at my most recent physical, my blood work showed that my triglycerides were really high. So I started my dieting, and he would go on walks with me every night after work (even though he already biked ten miles to go to and from work). He also helps me make healthy choices for food. I am so happy that he is here supporting me, it does make it easier to have someone giving you the love and support you need.
He always says that that I am going to become even hotter and find some hot, rich guy. But I already have a hot rich guy lol. Silly husband.0 -
Last month he decides, he wants to lose weight. He is a good 75 lbs over weight. He goes on the HCG diet, drops 24 lbs, and now tells me this morning he wants to have sex this weekend. He hasn't romantically touched me 18 months and I am supposed to be overjoyed that he is showing interest in me again? Don't think so...:grumble:
Well this tells you that it was about him, not about you, so that should make you feel better. I know you didn't ask advice, but I think you should rekindle the spark. If you want to have a good marriage that is.
Damn you for being a clear voice of reason!:laugh: In theory, I know you are right. It's just hard. I do want a good marriage which is why I didn't rebuff him this morning when he made the suggestion, but its still hard to let go of wounded pride.0 -
honestly, my hubby is supportive to an extent, but he finds the whole gym and eating right thing annoying. He always says he doesn't really see the problem with how I look anyway.
in fairness I have never been ginormous or anything but it really bothers me when I am bigger. I have no confidence and just feel like crap. so he does support me because he knows how I feel about it but I know he finds it annoying and difficult when I won't have a takeaway or have a few glasses of wine etc.
I know I could but I don't want to, I want to stay focused and really attack it. I;m kinda an all or nothing person, that's just my personality and I guess I can get a bit obsessive but I;m the same in all aspects of life.
I honestly don't think he cares if I;m fat or thin, he never changes in any way towards me when I am either.0 -
No support here. If anything it brought out his own insecurities and became very possessive and jealous over me. Did NOT like my going to the gym alone if my gym buddy couldn't make it. Not a good experience.0
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My husband is so supportive, he was always sweet and told me i was beautiful but now it is a lot. He is one of those people who can eat everything and drop 5 pounds some how, but he has even started working out with me every so often. He tells me he feels guilty for how much more attracted he is to me now, but i just tell him its a good thing.
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My husband is not really supportive. I workout in the AM and he complains because he wakes up when I'm leaving the room and he can't get back to sleep. He never tells me I look nice or anything....you know....I want to hear every now and then that I look nice. Or maybe he really thinks I don't look nice. Everyone else makes comments to me...it would be really nice if he would say something.0
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i think its true. I've been married 9 years. OUr kids are older now (age 5 and 7), I'm in my 30s and its time to focus a little bit on me. Husband notices and I think is more loving because of it. He's supportive. He's not RUDE when I've been heavier, but he is more affectionate when he knows I'm working on ME for my health, for our family and for him
That's pretty much my situation. My husband is tactful when I'm overweight (pretty much always after pregnancy), but he makes nice comments when I'm losing, and he appreciates me being fit and trim. So it's worth it.
Too bad I'm too sick to exercise today!0 -
Last month he decides, he wants to lose weight. He is a good 75 lbs over weight. He goes on the HCG diet, drops 24 lbs, and now tells me this morning he wants to have sex this weekend. He hasn't romantically touched me 18 months and I am supposed to be overjoyed that he is showing interest in me again? Don't think so...:grumble:
Well this tells you that it was about him, not about you, so that should make you feel better. I know you didn't ask advice, but I think you should rekindle the spark. If you want to have a good marriage that is.
Damn you for being a clear voice of reason!:laugh: In theory, I know you are right. It's just hard. I do want a good marriage which is why I didn't rebuff him this morning when he made the suggestion, but its still hard to let go of wounded pride.
I agree with previous poster this sounds like maybe he was self conscious so maybe give him a break this time?0 -
My husband is not really supportive. I workout in the AM and he complains because he wakes up when I'm leaving the room and he can't get back to sleep. He never tells me I look nice or anything....you know....I want to hear every now and then that I look nice. Or maybe he really thinks I don't.
You're beautiful! I'm sorry he isn't very supportive. Mine isn't/wasn't either. Keep doing it for you girl! You look great!0 -
mine has his good days and then bad, he says things like " your working out again" or i like you looking normal" ) i dunno what that means?) thats his bad days and then he will buy me new runners or watch our bubba so i can work out. Who knows.. if he is supportive. he think my fitness is a hobby and it not so important but ive just been newly certified as fitness instructor and we have not celebrated yet:(0
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