Embarassing Moments with Children

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  • caspergirl7
    caspergirl7 Posts: 590 Member
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    When my oldest son was just about 3 years old We were out to dinner and enjoying ourselves. As we got up to leave we walked by a table of older, silver haired ladies who were obviously meeting for some type of church group luncheon. So as my son walks by he looks at one nice lady who says, "hello there young man". My son loudly responds, "Men have penis's and women have vaginas!" I just felt my heart drop. But the older lady, without missing a beat, says, "well thank you son, I had almost forgot about those." And the other ladies just burst out laughing.

    I was embarasssed. but it was wonderful to see how proud my son was he knew the difference. lol.

    HAHA!! Love it!!
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,289 Member
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    Not my kids but my brother.....

    My parents were having a party and my little brother cut his leg on something ...he was about 5 or 6 so he went into the bathroom to put on a bandaid.....He came out with a pad on his leg, Then he went to my mom and said at the top of his little boy voice...MOMMY the bandaids sticky is on the wrong side......
  • traceytwink
    traceytwink Posts: 538 Member
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    At breakfast one morning my daughter was sat eating when she asked me why our bedroom door had been closed the night before as she saw it when she went to the toilet, then her jaw dropped as she thought and shouted out eeeeeeeewwwww you and daddy were having sex that's disgusting lol
  • XxYeaIrocxX
    XxYeaIrocxX Posts: 224 Member
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    My daughter was about 2 1/2 at the time and her father used to say everytime she farted "dang girl your blowing it up"

    So one day her and I went shopping and as I'm in line for the department store that has a ton of peopl surrounding me she leans forward and screams "Ohhhhhhh mommy I'm gonna BLOW this place up!" I had so many people just stop and look at me as if I was a terrorist or something and then other looks as if i was a horrible mother for letting my child watch things that involved all that.

    I just stopped and busted out laughing and just said ".....shes just gotta fart" and then she lets one rip, of course her sitting in the cart meant her butt was on the seat and made it echo 10x louder than necessary.

    Thanks kid, lol


    Then we were at the mall and had to stop off to use the restroom, she's in the stall with me and decides to blurt out extremely loud "hey mommy, lady right there is poooooooping!"
    Never heard someone get up and leave so fast. lol
  • butterflyluv1218
    butterflyluv1218 Posts: 430
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    A couple of years ago my son was watching TV and I had just gotten out of the shower. I walked across the kitchen still nakie and keep in mind I was going through a lazy phase with my "landscaping". About a week later we were at a family thing and apparently the word "weiner" is hilarious to 4 year old. Him and my nephew kept saying it over and over. I walk over to him to tell him to knock it off and in a very loud voice he tells anyone within earshot 'My mom has hair on her weiner." (I guess at that age everyone has a weiner) I wanted to strangle him and run away all at once. Hilarious now!
  • HouseWolf1960
    HouseWolf1960 Posts: 27
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    Late one night after checking to make sure the four kids were asleep my wife and I where really getting into the wet, wild and nasty. Things were getting really intense and we were both getting ready to pass the finish line when we look up and my nine year old daughter is standing there watching and wants to know if she needs to call 911 because she thought all the noise was me having a heart attack. Needless to say I double check the lock on the door from now on. Told her the next day that we were pretending to be circus animals and were practicing our act. At least the animal part was the truth.
  • aquarabbit
    aquarabbit Posts: 1,622 Member
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    One time I told a mother how adorable her little son was. Turned out to be a girl. To be fair to me, he was dressed in yellow and didn't have any hair. So embarrassing.
  • Andimadx
    Andimadx Posts: 51 Member
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    these are too funny
  • Andimadx
    Andimadx Posts: 51 Member
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    Most embarrassing moment I've had as a father ... when my daughter wasn't even two yet she walked into the bathroom while I was toweling off. I told her to leave of course so she did no words out of her mouth. About two weeks later we're at Church of all places and my wife is talking with a group of ladies and my daughter decides now is the time to chime in that she saw me naked and decided to say I was rather well large. I became very popular at Church and was mortified at the same time so much so I ended up no longer attending services there lol.

    Oh, Lawd! I'd die.

    Brother you have NO clue how bad it was. My wife would still go and give me so much flak! "The ladies are wondering why you aren't there any more? Seems you have a few fans now" OIEE!

    I'm a fan now too!
  • Doodlewhopper
    Doodlewhopper Posts: 1,018 Member
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    I had always assumed that when the day came for me to have "the talk" with my son I would step up and handle it honestly and thoroughly.

    Well, that day came when my wife, him in tow caught me in the hallway and said he had a question I should help him with, then being the supportive wife she is, she hauled aZZ. I was caught like a rat as he looked at me with his innocent brown eyes and asked about, well, you know.....Day-um! Im not ready for this.

    I took a deep breath and in my best father knows best manner (quivering voice, uh, um, well, ahem) covered everything from B to Z....then he just had to ask about A, (how do the daddy things get to the momma things?)

    I broke out in a cold sweat and started frantically swinging my arms like a bird in flight and in a pleading voice kept repeating.....THEY SWIM, THE LITTLE BASTIDGES SWIM! THEY SWIM LIKE CRAZY!

    I quickly took my leave and found my dear little "stand by your man" darling laying across our bed with her face buried deeply in the mattress wracked in the throes of hysteria...... I said, "b!tch" & walked out.

    LOL
  • NaomiJFoster
    NaomiJFoster Posts: 1,450 Member
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    I've been teaching preschool for 25 years. I have a story for every single day of that.
  • NaomiJFoster
    NaomiJFoster Posts: 1,450 Member
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    And as a preschool teacher, I know about each and every little thing that happens in YOUR house. In your bedroom. In your bathroom. Everything.
  • branflakes1980
    branflakes1980 Posts: 2,516 Member
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    When my son was about 4 and a half we were grocery shopping in the local supermarket. We were in the produce aisle and he was in full on batman gear (as he was from age 3 until 5) as if going everywhere with batman is not embarrasing enough... there were quite a few "older / elderly" people near us. I kept watching him making faces but thought nothing of it until it happened.... He looks at me and all loud says "MOM!!! It smells like OLD people in here" I thought I was going to die!
  • welly5
    welly5 Posts: 293 Member
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    I worked at a preschool during university and I have lots of those moments.

    Once a three year old girl was sitting on my lap and turned to me and said

    "My mom says you HAVE to wear a bra" and poked me right in the boob. So I said "I am wearing one. But thank you." and she replied "Are you sure?" and was trying to move my shirt around. "Yep, 100% positive, ok, off the lap, lets go play with the dolls"

    I was thinking "omg, great. this kid is going to pull my shirt up and then I'll have to explain why we were discussing the existence/non-existence of my bra to my co-workers"



    Another time (this one is a little bit more sad than funny) a 3 yr old boy told me "Mom has a hickey but NOBODY knows where it came from. So dad is staying with grandma" Awkward....
  • 2stepscloser
    2stepscloser Posts: 2,900 Member
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    We were at the grocery store checkout line and a very tomboyish masculine looking woman was the cashier. My daughter clear as day asked me if she was a man or a woman. :embarassed:
  • blinkblink16
    blinkblink16 Posts: 12 Member
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    I don't have kids but I hear this one from my childhood all the time:
    Apparently when I was about 4 my mom and I were in a crowded elevator, with all the associated awkward elevator-silence, and I suddenly said (really loudly): "SOMEONE doesn't smell very good in here!"
  • celtbell3
    celtbell3 Posts: 738 Member
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    This is the first time I've checked back and these are absolutely priceless moments!
  • onwarddownward
    onwarddownward Posts: 1,683 Member
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    After weaning my third child, my oldest asked me, "Mommy, when I am a grown up, will I have looooong boobs like you?"
  • Loasaur
    Loasaur Posts: 125
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    One day I was watching my nephew, who was about 2 at the time, when a repairman came over to check on our fridge. My nephew stomps into the kitchen and goes, "AUNTI LO! I WANT SEX!" and in shock, I look at the repairman and he looks at me, and I say,
    "Noah, what did you say?"
    "I said I want sex. I want sex right now, auntie!" I was so horrified and so was the repairman, so I pulled him into the other room and told him not to say that anymore and he got VERY upset and started screaming about wanting sex! After he calmed down and the repairmen left I decided to give him a couple of cookies to cheer him up. He climbs onto the table, sits down, and says,
    "See, Auntie Lo. This is just what I wanted!"
    Finally it hit me, I'm like, "Noah, you wanted snacks?!"
    "Yes!" He says, "SEX!"

    He's 6 now and has sense learned how to properly pronounce, "Snacks." :]
  • SmangeDiggs
    SmangeDiggs Posts: 238 Member
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    My daughter at 4 when having coffee with my now husband but back at that time he was a person of interest.

    Him: What have you and mummy been doing today?
    Daughter: Mummys been getting a wax done
    Him: O yes (wide eyed) ...where?
    Daughter: Here (pointing to eyebrows) and giggling Here (Pointing to brazilian area)
    Mortified doesn't even cover it.

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