Is this considered cheating?

You deserve better than this creep and you know it. The trust has gone, the respect has gone. You absolutely made the right decision :flowerforyou:

She should have texted him a picture of a donkey, stating "Here's my *kitten*."

The boyfriend is definitely NOT an "asset." I agree with the posters who think he's a creep. Run!

Totally inappropriate. Sounds like he didn't think things through clearly at all, especially since he had no problems showing you the text message and pictures. I am of the "if he cheats, dump him" crowd, but I'm not quite sure how I would feel about this as a reason to end things forever. I guess it depends on your relationship before this and to me, you were both in a conversation about what you considered inappropriate when it comes to texting, so maybe he didn't realize that this would be over your acceptable line. I don't know what to tell you. I feel for you.

I don't consider this cheating, but I'd be pissed.
I tell people they look great all the time (not really, but once in a while), but the way he said it... It's just overly sexual in my opinion!

I wouldn't break up with my current BF if he did something like that, but I'd definitely sit with him and ask some questions. Depending on what he'd say... I might break up (or not). I think you made the right decision FOR YOU.

It's definitely innapropriate.

Extremely bothered. "The thought of not having you in my life is unbearable." He's written me letters and left them on my door at home, flowers at my doorstep, phone calls, voicemails, texts, emails.... He is completely taking the blame for what he did and admitting how wrong it was and telling me it was a one time thing he's never done anything like that before, etc.... He told me he'd quit this job and find another one if that's what I needed him to do as long as I would give him a second chance to prove he wouldn't mess this up. He said I was his whole future... I told him that I hope her *kitten* was worth losing our future over.

I agree with other folks that say it wasn't cheating. But there are lots of reasons to break up with someone that have nothing to do with cheating. For example, taking photos of other girls *kitten* and texting them about it (unless you have some sort of understanding about that - which if you did, you wouldn't be posting this). So if you didn't like it, and you broke up with him, good on you.

I have to say, however, that if you're having second thoughts regarding the breakup based upon what you posted above - don't. All of that sounds like desperation and convincing behavior (behavior where we are trying to convince someone that we're actually a good person as opposed to just being a good person). People who are serious about their relationships don't take pictures of other people's *kitten* (again, absent some sort of arrangement with their s/o).

Long story short - you didn't think you were too hasty, and I don't think you were either. The stuff he's doing up above is just an effort to convince you he's a good guy as opposed to just being a good guy.

He was in a relationship and those texts and pics crossed a line from any type of friendly message to almost "sexting". So did he actually cheat based on those messages alone...no....but was he headed in that direction? It sure looks like it.

This. I'm pretty mellow, but if I saw something like this I'd safely come to the conclusion that if this dude isn't cheating on me now, he will be some time down the line...

Some things are in "good fun," and some workplaces are kind of high in the mutual sexual harassment, because, well, work can be boring as heck and people like to laugh it up with inappropriate humor. However, the conversation you're describing doesn't really sound like an obvious joke or good fun. Now if he'd sent her pictures of a baboon's *kitten* or something, it would be a different story.

Don't buy his apology either. This guy is a creep, an idiot, or (most likely) both, and the fact that he thinks you should buy his sad apology "you're my whole life I've never done it before and I'll never do it again" song and dance is an insult.

However, to be honest, my husband did something pretty similar to this over the course of months with a female. It got very emotionally involved. It tore us apart for a long time. After a year of being separated (but remaining friends) we talked about how to avoid having this happen again. That was about five years ago. He broke off all ties with the girl (as did I; she was my best friend) and we re-committed ourselves to each other. It was definitely the hardest thing I had ever done, but it was worth it. These last five years have been spectacular. It took a long time for me to heal (and in some ways I am still healing) but eventually we were going days and weeks without my paranoia surfacing.

I love my husband with all my heart. If he were to cheat on me again- emotionally or otherwise- that would be the last time. I also respect myself more than I did five years ago. Every year he becomes a better man and husband, and that's why we are still together.

Goodness, I had to double-take on this one. I have been through similar (sadly still get wicked paranoia triggers) and I'm glad you're happier in your marriage now. I'm still sadly in two minds.

Emotional cheating is still cheating, and I think it's up to the individual to know where their line is. He crossed your line and he paid for it.

Was he an idiot? Yes
Was he cheating? No

How long had you guys been together?

If his life would be unbearable, why would he want to look at someone else's *kitten*?

Because men look. Hell, women look. It's human nature.

That said. Did he cheat, no. Were the pictures inappropriate and creepy? Absolutely. Should you have dumped him? Only you know what's right for you. If it was right for you to dump him, then you should have dumped him.