Negative comments

sammi_j
sammi_j Posts: 12 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
How do you all cope with negative comments?
My ex puts me down all the time, I know he's doing it just to degrade me but its hurts non the less.
He says I'm saggy & I don't have the figure before my kids, 2 in 18 months.
I know I'm no model but I don't think I look too bad after having 2 kids in a short amount of time?
«134

Replies

  • Willbenchforcupcakes
    Willbenchforcupcakes Posts: 4,955 Member
    I use them as fuel! Although if I had heard something like that come out of my husbands mouth, he would have been slapped and sleeping on the couch. My girls are 9 days shy of 18 months apart, and never once did he say anything hurtful about my shape. Sounds like he is your ex for multiple reasons though.

    But seriously, don't take his comments to heart, just use them to fuel your workouts.
  • AJinBirmingham
    AJinBirmingham Posts: 497
    The next time he says something like that, ask him what he hoped to achieve by saying it. Then let him know what he's actually achieving (making you feel bad.) If he doesn't realize he's being mean, he may think about it and stop.
  • herblackwings39
    herblackwings39 Posts: 3,930 Member
    How do you all cope with negative comments?
    My ex puts me down all the time, I know he's doing it just to degrade me but its hurts non the less.
    He says I'm saggy & I don't have the figure before my kids, 2 in 18 months.
    I know I'm no model but I don't think I look too bad after having 2 kids in a short amount of time?

    I'd probably wait till the kids weren't in the room then let lose a string of profanity toward him that would make his grandmother faint, sailors blush, and the heavens rain down fire. If he had anything to do with 2 kids in 18 months just tell him to bugger off.
  • john0_0
    john0_0 Posts: 1
    I told my detractor "your comment hurt my feelings".
    He apologized and we moved on.
  • _EndGame_
    _EndGame_ Posts: 770 Member
    Wow, your ex sounds like a low life. On the bright side, he is your ex, so you shouldn't care what negativity he has to throw your way. He's probably just jealous that you are getting your affairs in order, seeing you succeed and be happy will no doubt make him miserable.

    Keep up the good work and let him keep hating. The more he hates, the better you must be doing. Try look at it like that!
  • AJinBirmingham
    AJinBirmingham Posts: 497
    OR . . . you could take the low road and say, "Yeah, but if I just give up and get morbidly obese, I won't have anyone to date but guys like you."
  • dlbredesen
    dlbredesen Posts: 122 Member
    Tell him you have a different level of maturity after having two children.
  • Zebusz
    Zebusz Posts: 37 Member
    I've always felt that people make mean and negative comments because they are battling their own issues, whatever they may be. I may be wrong, but I personally feel that jealously plays a big role in this. Congratulations on taking charge of your own life and keep moving forward and closer to your goals. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent
  • Living91
    Living91 Posts: 27
    OR . . . you could take the low road and say, "Yeah, but if I just give up and get morbidly obese, I won't have anyone to date but guys like you."

    ZING!
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Ignore it. No one can make you feel anything (minus physical pain). If he's "making" you feel insecure, etc...that's because you are letting him do it.
  • pinkgigi
    pinkgigi Posts: 693 Member
    I don't share personal things with my ex, we only interact about things to do with the children. Don't give him the chance to hurt you by sharing things with him, find another, more supportive network.

    XX GG
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    He's your EX, right? Then why does he even care? And why do you let him talk to you like that?
  • jewel22887
    jewel22887 Posts: 72
    When I was a teenager I was a big girl (which I still am), and often had to deal with teasing from my siblings and their friends about my weight especially since they were all skinny kids. My mother had me write a journal every day of things that made me happy and I was proud of myself for, it really helped my self esteem out.
  • kellzi89
    kellzi89 Posts: 65 Member
    He is obviously so jealous because he let someone like you slip through his fingers!
  • fatmomsuzie
    fatmomsuzie Posts: 5 Member
    :smile: hes your ex for a reason ..now move past him and get the new you..!!!!
  • MariG25
    MariG25 Posts: 89 Member
    I totally agree with fat mom Suzie! What does it matter what he thinks he's your ex for a reason!!
  • nyrina4life
    nyrina4life Posts: 196 Member
    OR . . . you could take the low road and say, "Yeah, but if I just give up and get morbidly obese, I won't have anyone to date but guys like you."

    Good line!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,903 Member
    He's your ex. Why does his opinion matter any more?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • maab12
    maab12 Posts: 65 Member
    when ever someone in my family makes a comment like that I go to the gym and work on the punching bags and picture him in the center of the bag and I just keep hitting making sure I see their face right there.
    It gets the anger and hurt out and gives a great endorphin kick
  • kelsully
    kelsully Posts: 1,008 Member
    I love the response "What are you trying to accomplish by saying those things to me?" It puts the person's actions right back on them. I wouldn't tell that person that they hurt you but I would address their behavior...ie "I really find it sad that you think it is ok to say hurtful things to me" or "wow, there is a severe lack of maturity behind your comments."

    Beyond that i would just keep my interactions with this peach to a bare minimum.

Categories