Negative comments

124»

Replies

  • jenna808
    jenna808 Posts: 79 Member
    I agree, what he thinks of your body and personal goals are no longer any of his business and I would definitely make sure he knows that. But I would bet money that he says those hurtful things on purpose because he doesn't want to see you doing well for yourself without him. I would tell him that his comments are hurtful and unnecessary, and don't let him belittle your accomplishments!
  • Basia_and4345
    Basia_and4345 Posts: 61 Member
    Okay ... as many have said he is your ex. I'm sure, even though he is your ex, his opinion still packs a wallop. No matter how much it hurts you can not let him know that. If he gets a reaction he will continue the assault.

    Also, as many have said, he is probably jealous ... you are taking care of yourself and I'm sure you appearance is improving and he knows he does not stand a chance.

    I agree with setting boundaries, even if he doesn't care about how it effects you, he may care how it effects his children. Only address this issue from that stand point. When the children are not in the room and cannot over hear the conversation. Explain to him that his opinion of your body is not your concern. Tell him to keep his comments to himself and that they have no effect on you (weather they do or not, you must take the stand that they do not). However, they may have a long lasting bad effect on the children, and for that reason he must keep his opinion to himself.

    Good luck, and remember he is not your husband anymore. Move on.

    Great Advise!
  • get10fit2013
    get10fit2013 Posts: 87 Member
    When my ex says something stupid or intentionally hurtful, he is usually pissed bc he's no longer in control of what I'm doing (story for another day), or looking for a reaction from me. Avoiding him at all costs obviously doesn't work 100% of the time, but I've learned that slinging a comment back just throws gas on the fire and gives him what he wants...an argument. Now I just give him the sweetest smile possible and say, " Thanks for the input. I'll marinate on that." You say it enough, and he will finally "get it" that his opinions don't matter and won't change the way you're doing things. Believe it or not, you CAN teach an old dog new tricks. He'll get tired of making comments because he sees it's not working. It worked for my ex-mother-in-law as well for all of her child rearing advice that was never asked for. Just keep smiling. Oh, does he have a new girlfriend/wife? My life got dramatically better after he started dating again. He needed a new hobby. :)
  • purplemolly2003
    purplemolly2003 Posts: 1 Member
    You are a beautiful woman who has carried his children. Shame on him for putting you down. But he is your ex, so ex him out of being able to have any say about your body. You tell him he has no say, so please keep his comments to himself. I bet once you stand up for yourself and not let him put you down, he will stop. You have allowed him to say those things to you, now take that back and love yourself.
  • AJinBirmingham
    AJinBirmingham Posts: 497
    I would totally take the low road (obviously when the kids aren't around). "Wow! I have to tell you how much better I feel though about having shed 185 pounds (or whatever he weighs) of dead weight!"
    OR
    OR . . . you could take the low road and say, "Yeah, but if I just give up and get morbidly obese, I won't have anyone to date but guys like you."

    Awesome!


    No! No, don't do that. I know one of these things was my suggestion, but I was just trying to make you laugh, and I should (almost) never be taken seriously.

    If you insult him back, he will insult you again in return, perpetuating a negative dialogue that is at best useless and at worst harmful to you and your children. It's a daft game, better not played.

    Whatever you do, don't tell him that he's just as hot as he was the day you met, in even better shape, and that you think you can actually see even more hair at his hairline . . . he seems to be getting younger somehow! :flowerforyou:
  • GreenChile3
    GreenChile3 Posts: 65
    you know the old saying, "misery loves company". He is probably miserable in his own life and it makes him feel better to say mean things to people. Maybe he is still in love with you. Anyways, forget about him, he is an ex for a reason.
  • yogsvr4
    yogsvr4 Posts: 149 Member
    How do you all cope with negative comments?
    My ex puts me down all the time, I know he's doing it just to degrade me but its hurts non the less.
    He says I'm saggy & I don't have the figure before my kids, 2 in 18 months.
    I know I'm no model but I don't think I look too bad after having 2 kids in a short amount of time?

    You're ex?

    Don't talk to him or point towards his penis and laugh.

    Either will work.
  • JoJo61612
    JoJo61612 Posts: 21 Member
    I'd leave someone who constantly put me down. No thank you.
  • jogglesngoggles
    jogglesngoggles Posts: 362 Member
    There is a reason whatever it be that there is an EX in his title! Ignore him. you don't need that in your life! You do what you need to do and be proud of who you are and tell him to #$%^ OFF! :)
  • sammi_j
    sammi_j Posts: 12 Member
    Thanks for all the replies! Was shocked when I saw I had 70!!
    I totally agree with the 'ex screw him' thanks girlies!

Categories