Is 5 years a big difference?

2

Replies

  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
    My biggest fear is being taken advantage of because I'm so much younger and while I maybe mature for my age I might not be so mature in the judgement area for such a relationship. Despite the fact he may be older, he might so immature to take advantage of my nauivete. While obviously, you ladies have a great relationship with your SO . Mine fear stems from observation of a family "friend" who will not be named but I if inboxed me. I would tell you at some point, not tonight cause it's a long story, ladies.

    how old are you?!

    18 but I'm not sure if the judgement center of my brain has fully fused and I've never been in a relationship. Plus my family friend incident...she married an older dude and he was an @ss. She married around the age I was I think.
  • ashleyhigg396
    ashleyhigg396 Posts: 83
    [/quote]

    18 but I'm not sure if the judgement center of my brain has fully fused and I've never been in a relationship. Plus my family friend incident...she married an older dude and he was an @ss. She married around the age I was I think.
    [/quote]

    Hmm...lots of people women marry older guys. You can't make generalizations based on what happened to your friend's incident. You have to base it on how you personally feel. It seems like you are a little scared of having a relationship with this guy, IMHO. :) Is this just a crush or are the feelings mutual?
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    IDK he could have old man breathe
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314

    18 but I'm not sure if the judgement center of my brain has fully fused and I've never been in a relationship. Plus my family friend incident...she married an older dude and he was an @ss. She married around the age I was I think.
    [/quote]

    Hmm...lots of people women marry older guys. You can't make generalizations based on what happened to your friend's incident. You have to base it on how you personally feel. It seems like you are a little scared of having a relationship with this guy, IMHO. :) Is this just a crush or are the feelings mutual?
    [/quote]

    I am scared of a relationship especially right now because I'm trying to get in shape and I have a lot stuff on my plate and I've never been in a relationship or considered having a relationship because it never crossed my mind. It's a crush but for all I know it could be mutual. I'll have to step up and see.
  • Hexahedra
    Hexahedra Posts: 894 Member
    What matters more are maturity and compatibility. I don't think 5 years are a big gap. The bigger problem with a large age gap is not the number, it's the different points of reference. Two people belonging to two different generations can feel like they're speaking entirely different languages.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    When you're really young (under 25), it can be. I would think it's more dependent on where you are in your lives... wanting commitment vs no commitment, staying at home vs going out, etc

    Yeah, that becomes an issue. If you are just looking for fun and companionship, I don't think age is as big of a deal. Anything long term though, that brings a huge level of complexity that might not even be apparent now, but will be at some point.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    The younger you are, the bigger issue that difference is...the older you are, the less of an issue it is. For example, the maturity gap between, say a 25 year old and a 20 year old...or a 30 year old and a 25 year old is going to be larger than a 40 year old and a 35 year old.
  • Thewatcher_66
    Thewatcher_66 Posts: 1,643 Member
    If you are 30 and he's 35, not a big deal.

    Now, if he's 24 and you're 19, that's completely different.
  • amraf1024
    amraf1024 Posts: 74
    To me 5 yrs is not my husband is 4 yrs older than me and we don't get funny looks or questions...but it's all in how YOU see it. I have always dated older men n frankly the way I see it is if ur happy and so is he its all just a matter of opinion! Now I'm not saying if he's 12 it's okay but if your both consenting adults (18+) the who gives a *kitten* about age!
  • babyj0
    babyj0 Posts: 531 Member
    Nope. Not too old at all. I've dated someone who was 10 years older than me. It all depends on you, and what you feel comfortable with.
  • MzManiak
    MzManiak Posts: 1,361 Member
    If you have to ask, then the answer for you is probably 'yes'.

    It depends on the people, maturity levels, goals, common interests, where you are in life ...

    QFT
  • ClareWantsProgress
    ClareWantsProgress Posts: 173 Member
    I agree with those who say that once you are an adult it really doesn't matter. (My definition for that means financially independent and living on your own for a year, minimum, to have a chance to grow up and stand on your own without relying on anyone else). My wonderful husband is 6 years older than I, and we married at 28 and 34. It is "helpful" to me that because of circumstances we were in college at roughly the same time (he took a longer route via going part-time, etc.) so our life experiences/memories are very similar. I think it's only an issue if you are SO far apart in age that you have no common ground.
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
    How do you recognize between a girlish crush and attraction?
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
    No answers?
  • faceoff4
    faceoff4 Posts: 1,599 Member
    Not at all. Age is just a number and its all about how the person acts in their mind and their heart. But then again I have eyes for someone who is 10+ years younger than me so my opinion might be skewed a bit!
  • megabyt23
    megabyt23 Posts: 580 Member
    Definitely not. I prefer somewhat older guys. Depends on the maturity levels and goals of the two people involved I think.
  • faceoff4
    faceoff4 Posts: 1,599 Member
    Definitely not. I prefer somewhat older guys. Depends on the maturity levels and goals of the two people involved I think.

    Does 45 fit into that "somewhat older guys" category??? :);)
  • CheekyBrahette
    CheekyBrahette Posts: 441 Member
    Not at all. Age is just a number and its all about how the person acts in their mind and their heart. But then again I have eyes for someone who is 10+ years younger than me so my opinion might be skewed a bit!

    Aw, that's super sweet! :smile:
  • megabyt23
    megabyt23 Posts: 580 Member
    Definitely not. I prefer somewhat older guys. Depends on the maturity levels and goals of the two people involved I think.

    Does 45 fit into that "somewhat older guys" category??? :);)

    Haha of course! only for you! :wink:
  • CheekyBrahette
    CheekyBrahette Posts: 441 Member
    Definitely not. I prefer somewhat older guys. Depends on the maturity levels and goals of the two people involved I think.

    Mega, you said it! :drinker:
  • faceoff4
    faceoff4 Posts: 1,599 Member
    Definitely not. I prefer somewhat older guys. Depends on the maturity levels and goals of the two people involved I think.

    Mega, you said it! :drinker:

    So you are saying there's a chance? :)
  • Cutting4life
    Cutting4life Posts: 505 Member
    Definitely not. I prefer somewhat older guys. Depends on the maturity levels and goals of the two people involved I think.

    Does 45 fit into that "somewhat older guys" category??? :);)

    Haha of course! only for you! :wink:

    :( 24 more years to go
  • CheekyBrahette
    CheekyBrahette Posts: 441 Member
    Definitely not. I prefer somewhat older guys. Depends on the maturity levels and goals of the two people involved I think.

    Mega, you said it! :drinker:

    So you are saying there's a chance? :)

    Absolutely! Like you need to ask. :flowerforyou:
  • megabyt23
    megabyt23 Posts: 580 Member
    Definitely not. I prefer somewhat older guys. Depends on the maturity levels and goals of the two people involved I think.

    Mega, you said it! :drinker:

    So you are saying there's a chance? :)

    Absolutely! Like you need to ask. :flowerforyou:

    You guys are too cute! haha :bigsmile:
  • CheekyBrahette
    CheekyBrahette Posts: 441 Member
    Definitely not. I prefer somewhat older guys. Depends on the maturity levels and goals of the two people involved I think.

    Mega, you said it! :drinker:

    So you are saying there's a chance? :)

    Absolutely! Like you need to ask. :flowerforyou:

    You guys are too cute! haha :bigsmile:

    Jump in girl, group hug!
  • megabyt23
    megabyt23 Posts: 580 Member
    [/quote]

    :( 24 more years to go
    [/quote]

    lol I didn't say always!!! :tongue:
  • StarChanger
    StarChanger Posts: 605 Member
    Good Lord, am I the only woman who married a guy 5 years YOUNGER than her? We've been married 16+ years, so I must be doing something right, lol...then again, he might be getting ready to trade me in on 2 twenties.

    Whatever. I'll just marry for money next time.... :wink:
  • Rosalindgr
    Rosalindgr Posts: 148 Member
    LOl! when I was younger I always dated at men at least 5yrs older; my hubster of 24yrs is 9yrs older than me. However if I was to enter that season of date again I would only date men at least 5-10yrs younger.
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
    How do you know it's love? I'm not sure because I have never and I mean never dated before.
  • Mercedespony
    Mercedespony Posts: 162 Member
    I'm not sure age makes a big difference when you are younger, however if you do commit to a long lasting relationship, and there is a large age gap, I think there are issues.

    I met my dh when I had just turned 30, he in his late-40's. A 17 year difference between the two of us.

    Now, almost 16 fantastic years later, no amount of shared common ground can hide the fact that we are at different stages of our life cycles.

    I'm not sure I can say I regret making the choice I made, and being with him as of yet; but I can see that my perspective might change in the future, as our roles change and I become more of a caregiver.

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