Grossed out by excessive eating after losing weight?

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Replies

  • I'm confused by the responses. Yes, I feel that way. I often say something. Not mean, just kinda like, "wow. I gues you're hungry, eh?"

    I'm very judgey of that with friends and family. If its an occasion, I don't care. But, if it's as you described, yes, that's too much food for a person.


    I agree the responses are really harsh. Many people go on an Emotional roller-coaster when they start out. Judgement, anger, grief are ALL part of the process, at least they were for me. Everyone tries to make this journey sound so simple. Its not. Food and ALL the feelings associated with change must be processed and sometimes those feelings aren't so pretty. Who are you guys to shame her over it? I don't think shes at risk of getting an eating disorder. I think shes Awakened and most likely cant believe whats shes seeing now. If our society didn't eat so dang much we wouldn't have an obesity problem. Period.

    Yea, this is true; everyone judges. The responses are varied, but not really "harsh". What you're seeing is a collective input of opinions. I judge like everyone else; however I personally don't feel it's my job to butt into other people's lives and police other people's eating habits. Not only is it not my business; I simply don't care that much.

    It's one thing to judge someone -- it's purely another to open your mouth and involve yourself in someone else's business.

    "Who are you guys to shame her over it?"

    If you are going to ask this question, then I must ask as well: who is she to shame other people over their eating habits?

    But she DIDNT shame him. She didnt say anything to him. She made the mistake of telling MFP Forum so that now instead of supporting a woman at the beginning of her journey with good advice ( a lot Ive actually seen popping up) she could be told shes this, that and the other, re-evaluate your relationship with food, eating disorder, blah blah..

    I may have missed it but who said she had an eating disorder?

    Also,
    So today I noticed for the first time that when people overeat I get disgusted

    Especially as it was a normal meal

    He ate his whole meal and her fries too. and pie. Thats normal? Obviously we dont know anything about her dad. Maybe he has lots of cals to spare since he just left the gym? IDK. but no matter what, eating 1.5 fast food meals is no good for the human body. Im guessing the sodium alone was off the charts. She got disgusted. SO WHAT????? Its her dad and she loves him and wants him to live a long life. HOW she goes about life and TREATING people is what matters. Since she didnt say anything rude and it was just an observation, I dont see the harm. I think the key is to observe our thoughts. Observe our behaviors. Thats the only way to actually change anything. Maybe she just needs to avoid eating out with people that are gorging themselves. If it made me sick to my stomach I certainly would,. Because my job is to take care of ME. And I dont have to be around ANYTHING that I dislike. For ANY reason. I dont care if society thinks its OK, or Im an a** if I disagree. That part of the whole personal power thing is what gave me the strength to change my life. :)

    Wut?
    This. If it was someone I loved I'd worry about them. Disgust has nothing to do with caring and loving someone. I would characterize that as quite the opposite feeling. If people I love are disgusted with me, I'd rather them not keep that a secret. If you're worried about them you can be open with someone and 'treat' someone just fine. The disgust part, yeah, don't go hiding that behind love. Love isn't disgusted.

    I see some people suggesting she TELL her dad shes disgusted. Or to tell him HOW to eat. Thats where I disagree! Power of example, SELF-CARE is what she (or anyone in this position) should do (in MY opinion). Im not ever going to walk up to someone and say " I love you but Im disgusted by you". If its family, as was her case, I might make a topic of all the healthy changes Ive made and if they WANT to discuss it and/or ask for help, Id help them in any way I could. I dont believe in shaming people into change. People change when and if they want to. I was obese for 6 years and went through many embarrassing moments, INCLUDING my mother saying very hurtful things to me about my weight. It didnt make me change, it broke my heart that the one person thats should love me no matter what was judging me. Guess it depends on How you say something, but in my case it wasnt said with love or by a fit person so it did little good to help me.
  • susannamarie
    susannamarie Posts: 2,148 Member
    Wow. Some people on here are just shining their little halo's, aren't they?! :grumble:

    No, I don't think it sounds like you're developing an eating disorder as some people have suggested. Yes, I think it is very normal to have a heightened awareness of others eating habits now that you are being healthier and it can be an unpleasant experience to watch someone stuffing their face with food. It makes me feel sick. However, that should be an entirely internal thing, be careful not to judge and be too harsh on people who choose to eat that way.

    Gosh, there's a real difference between unpleasant and 'I felt like vomiting'.

    If she really did feel like vomiting (which is what she first said) I would be quite concerned. Her followup posts were much more clear, but they hadn't yet been posted when I responded.
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
    Boundaries my friend, boundaries. :wink:
  • allisonrinkel
    allisonrinkel Posts: 224 Member
    Since I have lost weight, I get grossed out when I myself overeat. I have noticed that since I have lost weight, other friends and family who are overweight have asked me what I do and I how I lost it, yet they do nothing I suggest for themselves, and continue eating crummy food and not getting off their butts. It's definitely a struggle for me to keep perspective and to not judge them, because it's not my place to judge their habits. I have noticed though that I have a hard time not judging friends who I know want to lose weight but keep their bad habits. I am no where close to "perfect" or happy with my body, but seeing friends and family constantly disrespecting their own bodies is also pretty sad. Maybe I'm on my way to an eating disorder like some people have suggested about the OP, but I can understand where she is coming from to a certain degree. I would never say anything to my friends and family about their eating habits unless they asked me to.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    Wow. Some people on here are just shining their little halo's, aren't they?! :grumble:

    No, I don't think it sounds like you're developing an eating disorder as some people have suggested. Yes, I think it is very normal to have a heightened awareness of others eating habits now that you are being healthier and it can be an unpleasant experience to watch someone stuffing their face with food. It makes me feel sick. However, that should be an entirely internal thing, be careful not to judge and be too harsh on people who choose to eat that way.

    Yeah, not being a jerk and judging those around me means I'm shining my halo.

    Or maybe I'm a person who eats large meals and think its rude as hell that someone is out there judging me. I'm not overeating or putting on weight, but damn right I'd eat a whole turkey sammich, with fries and gravy, and some damn pie if i went out to eat. I'd probably put some ice cream on that pie too. Maybe some caramel syrup (I assume it's apple pie, cause that's the best pie) To you and the OP and some other folks this would be 'gross' but to ME the only than that's gross is the fact you don't see a problem with your attitude.

    I'm gonna go eat two breakfast burritos and some cream of wheat now.
  • angeeishere
    angeeishere Posts: 89 Member
    You have on your judgypants dear, you're going to need to learn to take them off now.
    Yup...
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
    How quick of you to forget where you came from...
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I'm not really grossed out at all by other peoples' eating. I guess for me, if I eat something "horrible" like a shrimp po boy, super cheesy pizza, or a sundae, it is perfectly ok to me because it's balanced by a healthy meal before and after, and my week's overall eating is really moderate and decent. So I tend to assume that's how other people are too when they indulge...even if that is NOT always the case and they really are gorging on chicken-fried steak with gravy, chili fries, and cheesecake at every meal. Whatever.
  • I love gravy.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    If I'm going out to dinner, I'm going out to enjoy it and EAT. Period.

    I always overeat in restaurants and pretty much always eat all of what I get.

    I don't care what other people eat.
  • leaellenj
    leaellenj Posts: 38
    Is disgusted really the word you meant to use?
    You said you wanted to say something to him about his habits? So is this a regular thing?
    Maybe you really felt CONCERNED for your dad's health.
    Maybe you really felt DISAPPOINTMENT that he hadn't taken a cue from your new healthy ways.
    Maybe you really felt SADNESS within yourself for the way you used to eat.

    No, I don't think being disgusted is normal, and it is a little judgemental but I think you maybe actually felt one of the above emotions or something else.
  • tj1376
    tj1376 Posts: 1,402 Member
    I'm confused by the responses. Yes, I feel that way. I often say something. Not mean, just kinda like, "wow. I gues you're hungry, eh?"

    I'm very judgey of that with friends and family. If its an occasion, I don't care. But, if it's as you described, yes, that's too much food for a person.

    I'm always confused by people who admit that they engage in jerk-like behavior so freely.

    Seems to be alot of judging going around. Everyone has jerk like behavior, some just share it/show it more often. The only way you are going to learn to accept yourself is if you ask questions about whether something is right or not, which is what the OP is doing.
  • hippikris
    hippikris Posts: 32 Member
    I understand the feeling of being grossed out by how others eat, but it is not always about the amount or what they choose to eat, it is more about the action, the poor table manners or the putting too much in their mouth, I do not judge folks for what they eat, as I would not want someone to do that to me. I grew up being told, " you don't really need that." as an adult I still heard " why are you eating that or don't you think you have had enough" from my mother. or if not words than just her disapproving look.

    I know where my issues with food and table manners came from and I know that I have a long battle ahead of me with food.
    I do not think you are developing an eating disorder, or that you are becoming overly "judgey" I think you are just feeling sensitive, as you are just starting out.

    stay focused on you. you are doing a good thing for you, it may not be what everyone needs or wants for themselves right now. It is difficult when you are watching someone you care about eat like this on a regular basis. I know, I have been the person eating poorly and I am the person watching my loved one eat himself into kidney failure and a lost leg.

    good luck on your journey. take is slow and take pride in your accomplishments. do not get caught up with how others eat or how they react to you and your journey.

    on another note, I keep reading posts on here and other message boards where people are expressing issues, or asking questions, and people become overly hostile or critical with these folks. I thought this site was a way to find support and to encourage people to live a healthy lifestyle. maybe I am missing the point.
  • sunshyncatra
    sunshyncatra Posts: 598 Member
    If I ever start to feel that way, I think about how snobby I thought people who only ate half their lunch seemed before I started this journey. That fixes it.
  • khall86790
    khall86790 Posts: 1,100 Member
    Now if someone at my table requested gravy on his or her pie, that might bother me a little bit........

    What if it's Shepherd's Pie?

    pie-7.jpg

    You better believe I get a bucket load of gravy all over my shepherds pie.
  • j724mecham
    j724mecham Posts: 102 Member
    Wow...people on here. I know how you're feeling. I will see my friends and co-workers just pile down the food. I think it's just that you've increased your awareness. I am hoping and don't think you literally mean you want to throw up, but that it's just shocking. People on here seem to take things literally so if you say "It makes me want to die," you may get some messages about suicide prevention. Anyways, point is that it's good to be aware as long as you're not making others feel embarrassed.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    If I'm going out to dinner, I'm going out to enjoy it and EAT. Period.

    I always overeat in restaurants and pretty much always eat all of what I get.

    I don't care what other people eat.

    I'm kind of this way. I tend to order healthier, cheaper, smaller entrees and no app/dessert but yeah I almost ALWAYS finish my food when I go out to a restaurant. I've been poor on/off throughout my adult life and I'm really frugal so to go get a deli sandwich and throw away half of it would seriously KILL ME. I was raised comfortably middle class in the 80's but you would think I was raised in the Depression or something LOL.
  • I'm confused by the responses. Yes, I feel that way. I often say something. Not mean, just kinda like, "wow. I gues you're hungry, eh?"

    I'm very judgey of that with friends and family. If its an occasion, I don't care. But, if it's as you described, yes, that's too much food for a person.

    My buddies wife spoke up and gave me her opinion on how much I ate once... I embarrased her in front of the whole restaurant when I gave her my opinion. She never commented on my diet ever again after that. She also made the mistake of telling me (while with a group of friends) that my boobs had gotten really small. That didn't end well for her either.

    I don't mind if people judge me because I will tell them where to go and how to get there (with a smile on my face).
  • littlelouis
    littlelouis Posts: 54 Member
    Ask yourself this: Is it disgust or jealousy? I used to be "disgusted" by people's overeating, but thinking about it now, I was just jealous that they could eat that much without a care in the world. I still do get disgusted (read: jealous), but I've also struggled with disordered eating, so I would say no, it's not normal.
  • 08kat
    08kat Posts: 51
    I agree, just a tad on the judgemental side.
  • Love_Is_My_Fuel
    Love_Is_My_Fuel Posts: 211 Member
    You have on your judgypants dear, you're going to need to learn to take them off now.

    You've been in their shoes and people have thought of you that way...sure your thinner now but you used to eat that crap before too and were ready for a change
  • Love_Is_My_Fuel
    Love_Is_My_Fuel Posts: 211 Member
    correction sorry.....
    You have on your judgypants dear, you're going to need to learn to take them off now.

    AGREE!!!!!!
    You've been in their shoes and people have thought of you that way...sure your thinner now but you used to eat that crap before too and were ready for a change
  • KatieBee8
    KatieBee8 Posts: 61
    Wow. Some people on here are just shining their little halo's, aren't they?! :grumble:

    No, I don't think it sounds like you're developing an eating disorder as some people have suggested. Yes, I think it is very normal to have a heightened awareness of others eating habits now that you are being healthier and it can be an unpleasant experience to watch someone stuffing their face with food. It makes me feel sick. However, that should be an entirely internal thing, be careful not to judge and be too harsh on people who choose to eat that way.

    Yeah, not being a jerk and judging those around me means I'm shining my halo.

    Or maybe I'm a person who eats large meals and think its rude as hell that someone is out there judging me. I'm not overeating or putting on weight, but damn right I'd eat a whole turkey sammich, with fries and gravy, and some damn pie if i went out to eat. I'd probably put some ice cream on that pie too. Maybe some caramel syrup (I assume it's apple pie, cause that's the best pie) To you and the OP and some other folks this would be 'gross' but to ME the only than that's gross is the fact you don't see a problem with your attitude.

    I'm gonna go eat two breakfast burritos and some cream of wheat now.

    Excuse me? I made it perfectly clear in my post that I disagree with judging others and being harsh on anyone who chooses to eat that way. Evidently you didn't read my post properly. You cannot criticise someone for feeling that way. A heightened awareness of others eating habits (as I stated in my previous post) is completely normal when you are dieting. I'm not apologising for how it makes me feel, that's not something within my control.

    I find it bizzare that people who are making healthier choices with their own life wouldn't notice the unhealthy choices of others, especially those close to them. That's not being 'gross' to notice that, that's being realistic.

    Eat whatever you like. If you're slim and can still overeat then more power to you. In fact, I'm somewhat envious of people who can eat a lot and not gain weight. I used to be that person stuffing my face and I'm disgusted at myself when I think back to what I used to eat.

    I am not a 'jerk' (ridiculous word) for how I feel. I would be a 'jerk' if I told overweight people that them overeating was disgusting and they should stop. But I don't because I'm a decent person. So get off your high horse and stop being a hypocrite, you're equally judging people for how they feel...a bit like a 'jerk'.
  • Alatariel2002
    Alatariel2002 Posts: 65 Member
    I'm sorry..did ya'll say something? Kinda lost me after fries with gravy...oooooo *nom nom*
  • GlitterrMagpie
    GlitterrMagpie Posts: 302 Member
    My husband has a massive appetite. If we go out to eat he finishes his meal, my leftovers and anyone else who's with us :laugh:
    He's always been fit, he lifts, he runs, he cycles, he has a washboard stomach. He loves food. That's why my grocery bill is so high! :ohwell:
  • action_figure
    action_figure Posts: 511 Member
    You are in the beginning of your process. You are going to be hyper aware of everything related to food right now. How many calories are in it, macros, serving size, etc. It's kind of like being a convert to a new religion, in a way. At first EVERYTHING in the world relates to your new way of life, but then slowly, as you integrate it, it will be less overwhelming, or omnipresent is maybe a better word. There's an old Catholic concept called "custody of the eyes". It means to be in control of the things you look at, and the thoughts you have about those things. Usually it means to take care when you're looking at other people that you aren't looking at them as objects of lust, that you're seeing them as whole people, even if that person happens to be acting in a provocative way. The idea behind it is that it is YOUR responsibility how you respond to temptation. You can use that concept in this situation too. Someone may in fact be eating more than they need at this moment in time, but YOU have custody of your eyes. You can choose to think to yourself "Well, he may have an addictive pattern that he's just not ready to address at this time. I certainly did that myself before I was ready to change." Or if it's a stranger you can think "They may have just gotten off a 12 hour shift and they're starving." Try to reframe your thoughts in a way that is compassionate rather than judgemental, and remember another thing "Not my circus. Not my monkeys." That one means that you shouldn't waste your precious resources of willpower and problem solving about things that aren't your responsibility. You can still care about others, but setting a good example, and being ready to help if asked are way more productive than preaching at someone, plus they make you feel more centered as well. Good luck. :)