Tell me your deepest, darkest secret.

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124

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  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
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    I have a crush on someone on my FL.
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
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    In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog…When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I went nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life

    I'm laughing so hard I'm almost crying.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    Am I the only one that fantasies about killing hookers??

    I don't try.

    I do.

    There is no try.

    What do you do with the body when you're done? Thats the only part Im having a problem with

    I can help you with that!
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    I have a crush on someone on my FL.

    I know. It's obvious the way you flirt with me.
  • LilRedRooster
    LilRedRooster Posts: 1,421 Member
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    I drink right from the juice carton in the refrigerator. And put it back. And no one ever knows..
  • brillmer
    brillmer Posts: 1,268 Member
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    This sounds like a terrible idea lol
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    I'm frequently depressed and often think about topping myself, which I can't do because too many people depend on me.


    Serious?
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    Before I answer, is MFP contracted by the NSA like facebook?
  • welly5
    welly5 Posts: 293 Member
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    I have issues respecting toothbrush ownership. Sorry friends, boyfriend, siblings.. all toothbrushes are in danger of being used by me if they are nearby and my teeth need brushing.
  • xvxCelticWandererxvx
    xvxCelticWandererxvx Posts: 2,890 Member
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    don't worry, it's just me reading this thread. you can trust me.

    ... and go!


    Hmmm.....

    39875-Emma-Stone-no-no-no-no-no-gif-bGod.gif
  • grumpadon
    grumpadon Posts: 24
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    In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog…When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I went nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life
    you are awesome. why can't my kids do more fun stuff like that.:laugh:
  • StinkyWinkies
    StinkyWinkies Posts: 603 Member
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    well...I have two. one isn't really a "secret" since it happened in front about 300 people...but it was acutely embarrassing.

    the other is, well, I am a misanthrope, seriously, but I hide it behind a wonderfully, sweet, kind, smiling, gentle facade.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
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    Before I answer, is MFP contracted by the NSA like facebook?

    oh yes. they have a massive file on you already. that horse has left the barn.
  • Cutting4life
    Cutting4life Posts: 505 Member
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    I'm frequently depressed and often think about topping myself, which I can't do because too many people depend on me.

    sorry to hear bro, we're all gonna make it!
  • Parmcat
    Parmcat Posts: 268 Member
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    I like to leave little....gifts in hotel room when I leave!
  • GiGiBeans
    GiGiBeans Posts: 1,062 Member
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    Am I the only one that fantasies about killing hookers??

    I don't try.

    I do.

    There is no try.

    What do you do with the body when you're done? Thats the only part Im having a problem with

    Have you never seen the movie Frankenhooker?
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    At a very unhealthy level, I hate failure in myself, which in turn causes me to fail. I am trying to break that cycle that I have lived for too many years.
  • happywithme12
    happywithme12 Posts: 477 Member
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    I secretly want to wrap myself in bacon and put lady gaga's meat dress to shame. SHAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!


    if you wear a bacon dress i may have to lock you in the closet to, cause i looooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvee bacon

    everyone does say I need to stop hanging out in closets lol ;)
    [/quote


    Stop your getting me all excited
  • AlwaysActive78
    AlwaysActive78 Posts: 29
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    GOONIES!
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
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    In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog…When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I went nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life
    <3 Goonies

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