Crying today..... Advice needed. So sad!

Thanks so much everyone for your kind words. I just told one of my friends the news and she is very upset with me for not immediately pursuing chemo. The vet said it could be 2,000-5,000 dollars and this may or may not even extend her life. I can't make a complete decision until I speak to an oncologist which will hopefully be next week. She just kept saying "What is WRONG with you for not starting chemo? I'm so glad I'm not like you. My animals will always come first." Sorry but as much as I love my dog, I do NOT want her to suffer at all.

Gee, thanks. Now I feel even worse.

Your "friend" is way out of line.


...and needs a good throat punch :flowerforyou:

There's nothing any of us can say that will make this better. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this and I'm sending healing thoughts to you, your family and your puppy.

So yesterday my dog was diagnosed with having cancer of the lymph nodes. The vet is 99% sure she has lymphoma, but took some slides of the inside of the tumors to send away anyway. Husband and I were gone for 2 weeks in Germany and Ireland and when we got back we noticed all her lymph nodes were swollen. Now she's vomiting and not eating. She is a 12 year old German shorthaired pointer. We got her when she was 7 weeks old. Not sure yet if chemo will help her or not. We need to talk to an oncologist to see if chemo is worth it for only a few more months. My 7 year old daughter is not taking this well and woke me up 3 times last night crying.

So now I'm crying just thinking about life without our beloved doggie. We will miss her so much.

Sorry, just needed to vent.

Lisa

This is such an incredibly personal decision, for you and your family. And no one can make it any easier. I'm *SO* sorry that you're facing this. All I can really do is share my story and hope that it helps guide you to that decision.

In 2011, my younger kitty Nykka, 1/4 Burmese, 3/4 Siamese, all feistiness, appeared to be eating and drinking less. She was 11 years old. And one day, I noticed a hard bump on her belly, but figured I was imagining it, because I couldn't find it later in the day. I checked for a couple of days and another one appeared. And I freaked out. I talked to some vets that couldn't get her in for weeks. So my friend had me take her to a country vet and get her checked out. My girls had never been to a vet, they never needed to go. I was raised on a ranch, you only took animals in if you HAD to, and the vet came out and did rounds now and then, usually in foaling.

He had to knock her out to take blood and xrays, and I was in near hysterics by this point. And of course, the news was not good. It was kitty breast cancer. She had six large tumours, but he thought he could get them cut out and she should be fine. They would test them for malignancy and let me know. The surgery would be extensive, and not very cheap, but as a farm vet, it was half what I would have paid in town. So I decided to have it done, and if it came back as malignant, I would make the decision then.

We went home for a week and I set up everything including a week out of work to care for her. The surgery went well but my little girl was in so much pain, I had to give her liquid pain meds and I couldn't get her to eat or drink much, and I was terrified. My 20th reunion was that weekend too, so my friend stayed with her, and she started getting better, more active, eating lots of soft food, and I thought all would be well.

But before we even got the results back from CSU - she stopped eating again and started losing weight rapidly. She would sit in my arms and just stare. I had to make the call right then and there to not let her suffer anymore. The surgery gave her six more weeks...

And if I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't have put her through the surgery and recovery. I would have made what time I had with her the best that I could and I would have let her go. The end result was the same. So when her mother fell ill about the same time my own mother did last October, that's what I did. I took her to the vet, and they declared it old age - she was 14 - and probable cancer, and I took her home and spent as much time with her as I could once my mother passed. I made the dreaded appointment for New Year's Eve, because my mother's wake was the 29th. I just asked Sabine to hold on to get me through that. I came home from the wake to find Sabine had passed away while I was gone for those few hours.

And it still hurts so much, but I try to think that I did as right as I could by both of them. And that's all you can do for your baby.

*HUG* SO much love and comfort, my dear. I really wish I could say or do something to make it better - but only time will. And you will ALWAYS have that love that you shared.

We put my golden down almost four years ago and I still miss him and cry a bit sometimes. Fortunately (I guess) he went downhill within a matter of days, so we really didn't have any hard decision to make. I'm sorry you and your family have to go through this.

I'm so very, very sorry to hear this :-(

As a dog person I know that they are every bit a part of the family as a spouse of child. We had to put our beloved Cleo down a few years ago and it totally gutted us all.

The thing we struggled the most with was quality of the dogs life and whether or not she was in pain. After many a long tearful hour we finally came to the conclusion that prolonging life, even for a month or so, was more about us than it was about her. The vet couldn't say that she was in pain, but couldn't say that she wasn't in pain. We ultimately decided to send her off to a much happier place and to remember her as the loving, rambunctious dog that she was, rather than a broken shell of her formal self.

I wish all of the strength in the world to help you deal with what lies ahead.

God Bless!

Oh honey--so incredibly sorry to hear about your sweet pup. My husband and I recently lost our beloved doxie, and I think the hardest part was making the best decision for HER. We love our pets so much--they're family, and when they get sick and we have the responsibility to make decisions about their treatment its so hard. Sending you and your husband good energy, and the strength to give your dog what it needs. Much love, and my in-box is always open if you need/want support.

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. That sounds really rough. I think that putting her on chemo just to have her live only a couple more months would be only prolonging the inevitable and putting her though way more pain than she needs to be for longer than she needs to be. As humans we try to look for solutions to everything but most of the time it is for a selfish reason. It sounds like she lived a good life and you and your family love her very much. I think right now the most love you can give her would be to let her go with dignity and in peace. Best wishes and good luck.

Having been through a lot of death in the past couple years (most recently one of my cats 3 weeks ago), I have realized one thing. Mourning their passing is horrible, but it's easier than the grief and dread you feel before they pass. Once the absolute worst happens, you can start to heal.

Be careful giving advice if you live in New Jersey. The AG might have charge you with practicing medicine without a license. :bigsmile:

My step-mother had 3 ****z Zus. One remains. Ironically, it is the one who had a form of dog cancer when he was younger.
No children at home.

From a pet loss standpoint, our first dog was taken rather suddenly by a town dump truck. The second was put out of his misery suffering kidney failure.
Since then I don't get attached to pets. We have dogs now and I'm sure my kids would not take hearing one of them is sick very well.
But one of the lessons children inevitably learn from pets is learning to deal with loss. Seems heartless in the middle of it.
Maybe getting a new puppy while you dog is still with you will help your child. Even my 17 year old son goes nuts over puppies.

Sorry your dog and your family are hurting.

I am going to second what Mirey said. Look at the quality of life the dog will have for a few extra months. If it is in pain and is still going to suffer the hardest but kindest thing you could ever do is let it god.

I know that sounds really cold but I had to put 2 of mine down a year apart and it is the hardest and most heart breaking thing to do but also the kindest.

I wish you all the best in whatever choice you make.

I agree with this also. It is very, very hard but this will be your final act of love for your dog. I also had to put my 15-year-old cat down last year after she suffered renal failure. If there is no chance of survival and the quality of life suffers, it won't be fair to your pet. Many hugs to you.

Hugs to you and your family. I am crying thinking of the pain you all are feeling..my advice is whats best for your pup.

I am so sorry. My heart is just breaking for you. I went through this same thing with my cat last summer. I went away on vacation and when I came back my baby girl was refusing to eat. Two weeks later I had to put her down with lymphoma. It just all happened so fast. It was the hardest decision of my life, but in the end it was better for her. Best wishes for you and your family.

I almost started crying reading this. I'm so sorry for you and your family.
In the past year my parents had to put down two dogs that I grew up with. The boxer was 15 years old and no one told me he was gone! I went home for my birthday and was like "where's Hooch?" and everyone just stared at me! Then my mom said after a couple seconds of awkward silence that they had to put him down because he started to puke blood and found out too late that he had an upper GI bleed.