GUYS: would you end your relationship over extra skin ?

tkcasta · July 2013

Yeah, it's douchey, but attraction is super important. Not everything, but important. I'm not saying it's nice or "right" but if you aren't attracted to a person, then it makes sense to break up with them.

However it does not make sense to humiliate either party on national TV.

sbbhbm · July 2013

This is me. I actually just asked a guy friend for a man's perspective on it. I just started dating a really great guy, and he knows how much weight I've lost. I don't know if the thought has connected yet at what that means my body looks like under my clothes. And I don't know if I should bring it up and warn him. We haven't been dating long enough for him to be seeing me naked any time soon, and I'd hope that by the time we reach that point he likes me enough to get past it. He is incredibly fit (his arms are bigger than my thighs, lol... and YUM!) But I also dealt with an ex-husband who every day told me I was repulsive, disgusting, deformed, etc. I'm terrified of seeing that same look of revulsion in this new guys eyes.

I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable enough for someone else to ever touch me or see me naked again.

rmsrws · July 2013

You know exactly where I am coming from!!!!!......Scary!!!!!!

keg619 · July 2013

Bump!

ldrosophila · July 2013

God this makes me angry! I see two beautiful women who have worked their azzes off and to be belittled like that...OMG! I hate shallow stupid people!

sbbhbm · July 2013

Well this will make you happy then- because this thread inspired me to just go ahead and tell the guy I'm dating. And you know what? He said he couldn't care in the least! Not one bit. I'm so relieved I could cry.

nortyrascal · July 2013

Well done!
Fortune favours the brave.

TropicalFlowerz · July 2013

Amen

MyChocolateDiet · July 2013

I would end a relationship over bringing up hypothetical topics discovered on Dr. Phil and then putting me in the hotseat to answer.

ldrosophila · July 2013

EatClean_WashUrNuts · July 2013

Superficial topics are superficial to those who believe superficiality is king

RonnieLodge · July 2013

I can't quite imagine why (apart from cost) anyone would NOT want to get excess skin removed. As for insisting a partner undergoes plastic surgery - see 'Behind the Candelabra' for just how weird that is!

But if it is such a big deal, offer to pay for it.

onwarddownward · July 2013

Discussing this with my husband tonight:

Me: the surgery is really intense, they basically cut you in half. You walk hunched over for weeks and can't do much of anything for six weeks. Not even stairs. We don't even have a first floor bathroom.

Him: well, you would have to ....

Me: no, I was talking about you.

Him: (small voice) oh.

dllewis7 · July 2013

Ditto both of these!!!

dllewis7 · July 2013

LMBO!!

sarahthin · July 2013

This is something that I've thought about for a long time. Being severly overweight and in my late 60's I know that when I finish this journey there is going to be a lot of excess skin. There already is. Would I go in for surgery. I'm not sure. Would my husband mind it,the skin, I don't think so. It's kind of funny that when the kids were at home I always slept in the nude, now they are gone from the house,he is nude and I'm not sure I want him to see me. He is constanly asking why I'm putting a gown on. If I tell him it's because I don't like the way I look:happy: he wants to know what the problem is. That's after 48 years of marriage.

adioschubs · July 2013

A friend of mine was fwb with a a young mom who is very petite. The baby caused her to have a lot of loose skin on her belly. Although they separated because of other issues, he made fun of her stomach and talked about how gross it was. I could tell he was bitter about her, but his comments have stuck to me to this day. Makes me worried about losing weight :ohwell:

Akimajuktuq · July 2013

It makes me so sad that we women are so insecure and focused on trivial things and always thinking we aren't good enough. I know that we are bombarded with messages all our lives that we must be perfect and unrealistically beautiful or there is something "wrong" with us, but I dream of a future generation of women that rises above that and instead is strong and proud in who they are. I've made many changes in my life to try to give that to my daughter. I never put myself down and I never talk about being fat and I don't take part in the beauty industry and I cut off the cable tv recently. It's a start.

I have been single a long time but, occasionally, I also think about how I would "warn" a potential new partner about my skin. But, I can't remember the last time that a man felt the need to warn me that he is not perfect..... I don't expect a man to be perfect, but I do expect good health, a kind heart and a functional brain. Perhaps I should keep that in mind the next time I am thinking about the loose skin. (and NO, it cannot be toned!)

Edit: I do not consider surgery an option. Any surgery carries the risk of lifelong illness or death. I refuse to risk dying over loose skin.

2Bgoddess · July 2013

I post a butt load of weight (85 pounds) in 9 months. My skin looked awful. I only looked good in clothes from head to toe. Forget a bathing suit. My husband loved me at 252, and at 164. But i didn't like me either way. I did feel healthy. I put some weight back on, and didn't look so much like crepe paper. But now i don't feel healthy again.I never told my husband why I let myself gain back 20 pounds, but he figured it out. And told me to do whatever makes me happy. He says I am sexiest when I am HAPPY.

I don't think a person could know how they would feel about it, until they were confronted with it, not a hypothetical situation.Just like a childless person looks at someone with 3 teenagers and says'I could never do that!' It doesn't happen over night, you gradually get there, getting used to how you, or your SO looks. You might not LOVE the loose skin, but you should respect the work it took to get there!

_meesh_ · July 2013

I have to admit, this is my biggest fear with losing lots of weight. I technically could lose over 100 lbs, but I don't think I'd ever go that far because I'd be worried I would look like a that gif of Stewie. If I'm doing this to feel good about myself and I don't, what was the point. While I am playing the long game (1 lb/week) to allow my skin time to recover, I'm not 20 anymore.

Mind you, I do live in Japan, the land of collegen everything. Maybe I should start stocking up on some good creams and drinks.*wink*

GUYS: would you end your relationship over extra skin ?

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