support for Binge Eating Disorder

Welcome Robin!

Melissa,
Gum is a lifesaver for me. It helps to delay the craving to binge when I am not hungry or if I have just eaten and want to keep going just because. Hope the new program works for you.

Have a wonderful day everyone! ODAT.

Welcome Kelbel, thanks for posting!

Wow, I'm so glad to see some activity on this thread today! Vbos, popcorn is an excellent suggestion. I will eat a whole bag of the 94% fat free stuff sometimes when I'm in the mood to munch. My binge foods are almost all sugary ones, so when I'm feeling insatiable, popcorn helps fill me up, take away the urge to munch and doesn't set me off for a binge and popcorn is relatively healthy without gobs of butter, so I don't feel bad for eating so much. Thanks for posting!

they have those mini single serve bags now too. i'll go get some today lol, that way when i feel like i just "have" to eat something i can throw one of those in the micro, and not feel guilty about eating it. maybe that'll satisfy my carb craving.

Ok I have had it. This is the fourth day of binging untill I feel so sick I think I'm going to throw-up. What is wrong with me why can I not eat normal. I so sick of it. I thought me exceriseing to get all the cals off would help but nope. I thought I could let myself have a small treat a day to stop the craving but nope went overboard. I thought maybe eating a more balnced diet including everything would help but nope. Like what the hell why cna I not shake this thing.

I now know I can not eat any junk of I will go overboard as soon as I eat just a little I can not control myself. I can not bake or I eat it all. And I can not have the junk in the house or I will eat it.

I not giving up just venting and I'm so mad at myself for letting to this again.

Tks for listening I wish I could get out of this slump and finish with this weight loss. I feel so bad about myself right now and so disappointed that I'm letting myself do this. I now I'm worth it just wish I would stop it like right now. Help!

Fearless Living by learning from your failures
By YSmith

Business writer Robert Kiyosaki hated school. Not only did he hate it, he didn't do very well there. He recalls in his book for entrepreneurs, "Before You Quit Your Job," that he was angry when he received his first "F." Do you like to fail?

Kiyosaki hated to fail, too. And his failures were numerous. He also failed in his first business. But, he explains, he went on to succeed later, as a direct result of having failed previously. What's that got to do with healthy eating habits? Failure. I haven't met an obese person yet, who hasn't felt like a failure in the weight loss arena. We are so afraid of failing yet again. And we compare ourselves to an extreme ideal of perfection. We should be able to manage our weight -- especially after we have lost so much weight.

Failure is inevitable. I don't mean absolute, hopeless failure. I mean getting an "F" in exercise, or in eating at a buffet at a holiday party. I mean the frequent failures that can add up to a weight gain over time, but individually they mean very little in terms of your weight. Embrace failure.

Kiyosaki says the key to his success as an entrepreneur is that he has learned to use his failures as learning opportunities. He doesn't like failure any more than the next person, but he knows it's useful and that it will help him be more successful. His failures are the fuel for his triumph. Can you use failure as a strategy? Considering most people who struggle with their weight tend to want to be perfect, putting failure in a desirable light may be hard at first. You may not want to admit failure.

Admitting failure is hard. That is why we've worked so hard not to fail, and why we get so devastated when we do. In some ways, we have been programmed to avoid failure. In school, we don't get rewarded for failure. One bad grade will bring down your grade average for the whole year. But in life, failing and admitting we have failed are actually good things.

Kiyosaki took the time to stop, admit failure, and analyze what went wrong. Then, he tried again, using the information he had learned from his failure to do better. Success is deendent on studying your failures and learning from them. It used to be that we'd fail, give up, and go on a cookie binge. That paradigm doesn't work for overeaters, and especially if you have have already had much success in losing weight.

The better model for success is much more like Kiyosaki's:

1. Fail. (Remember, this is inevitable. We are not perfect. This type of failure includes things like skipping meals, eating unhealthy foods, eating a donut, or exercising only the fingers that work the remote).

2. Admit it. Tell someone. Post it on the MFP boards, call someone in your support group, go to an OA meeting, tell your coach, call a friend, tell your minister. Just do it.

3. Analyze your failure and learn from it. A few months ago, I realized that I am much more likely to eat something if it is sitting out on my kitchen counter. When my husband leaves food out, I taste it -- almost every time.
So, instead of denying my behavior and pretending it wasn't anything to worry about, I admitted my grazing to myself and to my support group. Then, I analyzed the situation and figured out it was happening because I was on the "see-food" diet -- I see food, I eat it. Then, I asked my family to put their food out of sight. That simple. And it worked.

4. Fail again. It's all in your perspective. By reframing your view of failure, you can create a powerful tool for success.
Says Kiyosaki, "Thomas Edison was asked to leave school because teachers complained that he was addled or scatterbrained. Later in life, he was criticized for having failed over a thousand times before inventing his version of the electric light bulb ....[then he] founded General Electric, one of the most powerful companies in the world."

People who fail and learn are winners, too. When you turn your mistakes into lessons, you take control of your life. You move forward to places you never thought you could go. So, be fearless about failure. It will serve you well.

I did well today! proud of myself. day 1 down, right? ugh, slowly but surely...

Hey vbos!

Good job! one day at a time always. I'm doing it hour by hour and really listening to my body for when I'm hungry or just bored.

Good luck!

Hi there,
Just saw your thread and wanted to join. I'm not sure whether I specifically have BED: I can 'manage' my binges, usually by eating very little through the day, and eating my calories at night, with enormous amounts of fruit. This keeps the 'traditional' binges away 95% of the time, but that 5% comes eventually. And it's the same as all of you have said: the gatekeeper biscuit/chocolate bar/pudding. And it takes over. And I'll eat and eat and eat til there's nothing left to eat. Then I'll puke it up. Then quite often I'll eat more. Of course leading to the awful feelings of shame, guilt, etc. I know the usual suggestions of going for a walk, do something with your hands, etc., but when I think about this mid-binge I just think 'f**k it, I want this' and go with it, despite knowing I don't want it. My binges are relatively rare due to my nightly fruit binges which I don't like, as I feel controlled by them (my social life is worked around them) but I feel less guilty about them as they're usually within my calorie allowance and they're healthy foods.
I am going to an NLP practitioner tomorrow in the hope that he'll fix me (he'd better - it's costing me a fortune!) - I want to be normal: enjoy food, but know when to stop, not NEED to feel full, be satisfied with one piece/bar of chocolate, basically not feel imprisoned by my eating. I want to go out and enjoy a meal with family/friends, and not feel so anxious about the calories, how much I might have to run to work it off, etc.
I've tried so hard to identify what triggers a binge of the unhealthy puking kind, and I can't: I'm not particularly stressed, it might be boredom, my life in every other way is pretty good apart from a general dissatisfaction with my singledom...I don't know. So thanks for starting the thread, there are clearly plenty of us, which while not good, is comforting.
Have a good day/weekend everyone!

Good morning Vanilla & Glypta!

Glypta, I'm so glad to hear that you are seeking professional help for your binge eating disorder. You will feel so much better when you can learn how to be in control of what you're putting in your mouth (or at least much more control than before).

I know I needed to seek help. I needed to be retaught on how normal people eat and I needed to be held accountable for what I was eating by turning in my food logs. I spent the first 5 months turning in my food logs several times per week and my nutrition coach would get out the red pen and critique on not only what I was eating, but also when I was eating and how much at one time and how long it was in between and how balanced the eating experience was...and after lots and lots of red pen marks and many frustrating days of trying to figure it all out, I have improved so much. I now eat in a way that I don't even feel the urge to binge a lot of the time and that above all is amazing. I never thought that feeling would go away. Every day, every single stinking day I felt like bingeing was the answer to my insatiable hunger. Now I've learned that I need to try to prevent myself from even getting to that point. And by eating a very balanced diet with lots of food and eating so often, it really has made such a huge difference in how I feel in the evenings. I like being able to enjoy my evenings without thinking about what else I can eat, I like being able to fall asleep without having to cram a bunch of sugar in first. I like being able to say no to treats at work and overeating at parties and buffets. I am making much better choices about what I put in my body to fuel it up and my body likes protein and fibers a whole lot more than sugar. My brain may like the sugar because of the high it gave me, but I need to outgrow that and I know that I can only take it one day at a time and do my very best each and every day. Some days are not good, but even on those bad days they are a whole lot better than they used to be.

Melissa--don't beat yourself up! You are still headed in the right direction and all you can do is learn from this. I love the idea of you going to a church group to talk with other people who are just like you, I think that will help a lot. I am lucky to have a couple of good girlfriends who have a similar problem and we can talk to each other and vent and stuff like that. I love going for walks with them and just talking, talking about anything and everything. It is really good cheap therapy and it is mututally appreciated. Also, my mom and sister are very understanding because they know me so well and they know how long I've been struggling with this and how badly I really want to change. I don't want to be controlled by my sugar addiction anymore. I want to control it!

Mollie--I am so glad you are on this thread with us. You are such a great friend and your posts are encouraging and helps put things back into perspective.

I thought i was the only one who did something like that. its not a all the time thing. something triggers it like a bad day or a fight with the husband and i will literally eat anything just to fill some sort of void!

I totally get (we all do I'm sure) that "void" thing. We have all been using food to help us deal with our emotions instead of healthier tactics like therapy, meditation, exercise, etc... But hey, we're here, we're aware, and we're ready to change! I know that I had been filling my void this past weekend with ice cream after losing my cat because that is how I've always dealt with that type of thing. When I was 8 and my mom started taking me to a therapist, she would always take me for ice cream afterwards to help ease the pain or whatever I was feeling after the session. When I was 14&15 and then again at 17 I worked for frozen custard stands and that didn't help get through high school hardships because I would just eat the custard every day. And then after high school I had, actually come to think of it I've always had an unlimited supply of ice cream available to me for the most part. Well, I'm glad to say I really only overate on ice cream this weekend and I didn't pair it with pizza, cheeseburgers and all the other bad foods I thought were regular meal food., so I did much better than I would have last year. And I didn't eat a whole 1/2 gallon or anything like that. One day I had a 2 scoop cone, one day a pint and well i can't remember what I had the 3rd day, but as of Tuesday I've been back on track and eating much more mindfully. It has been a difficult week because there is definitely a void in my life from where my cat was. My house is so weird without him there. I know I still have 2 other cats, but they pretty much keep to themselves and are very independant, where my other cat was always up in my business wanting attention, wanting petting, wanting love, just very needy and now it is kind of lonely. I've been staying away from ice cream and chocolate all together these past 3 days. I reason is because I don't have any more in the house and the other reason is because I know once I get started it won't be just a little.

I'm going to continue to see the scale move in a downward spiral, yes I am!

well while i am not exactly in your same boat exactly i do know how you feel i have struggled with weight issues all my life by that i mean being way to skinny to gaining because being forced to by medication. i was anorexic probably since i was 12 i got really bad in high school i was 5"7 weighing about 100 pounds, too skinny but at the time i thought i was fat then. i started modeling at a very young age and while it was the best experience of my life at times it was the worst thing i could have ever done for me and my self esteem. i only felt pretty when i was next to a camera and when the camera went away i felt like nobody. my parents made me get help which i didnt want at the time because weight scared me and still does. but i gained some weight i was a healthier 120 still a little thin but better. after school i got really sick and was diagnosed with endometriosis to those who know what that is it is horrible, anyway in order to fix my problem i had a surgery 6 to be exact was forced to go through menopause and then given steriods to heal and then put on depo provera long story short i gained like 40-50 pounds over the years unwantedly, so as you see weight has been my enemy for years. i eat only because i know you have to for many reasons i know the benefits, but believe me if i thought for one minute i could starve myself and lose weight and not have to worry about all the bad things that come along with it i would do it in a heartbeat. but i eat to fuel my body but i look at myself everyday and i wonder what people really see because i see this huge person she never goes away it is very sad , and so hard to lose weight when they have you on these medications as well. my self esteem is horrible i know i have lost weight now and i am 165 which is down from 196. i wonder if my eyes will ever see someone who is beautiful.

Tks so much for posting that was great it really helped. I'm going to a meeting on Wednesday through my church for people who have addictive behaviors. I can not see a theripist because we do not have the money to pay for it. I am on the waiting list for a eating disorder client but they said it could be up to a year before I get in so who knows. Tks for the ideas and the post it really helped. Today is a new day and I'm going to better.

I feel you on the $$$. That is why I went the OA route this time and MFP....:-) Because I could not afford thephy right now and besides I don't think I need it any more. Now I need to find a way to apply consistently what I have learned over the years. I could write a book myself. Good job on yesterday! We can do this, one day at a time. :flowerforyou:

Recovery Meditations ~ The Present ~ One Day at a Time ~ September 11, 2010
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RECOVERY MEDITATIONS
One Day at a Time
September 11, 2010

~ THE PRESENT ~

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:

"Real generosity towards the future
consists in giving all to what is
present."

Albert Camus

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:

Fear ruled my life until two years
ago. I was paralyzed with fear about the
future and what would happen when "they"
discovered how bad I really was and how
little they could trust me. I was
terrified that the past would catch up
with me and I’d be found out. The guilt
and shame of my last binge came along
for the ride as I replayed the scene
compulsively and beat myself up for
screwing up yet again. This made it
impossible for me to stay in the
present.

In program I learned that I wasn’t
really paralyzed by the past nor the
future; rather, I was paralyzed by fear
of losing control. The only way to
release that fear was to admit, every
hour of every day, that I was powerless
over people, the past, the future and
the food. When I wrote it down and put
it in my God box, I could live in the
present time. It was hard at first, and
I'd grab it back when the fear crept
in. But I'd let it go a little more each
time, allowing me to be free of fear and
enjoy moments of the day. The moments
turned into hours and soon I was
experiencing a full day without
fear. The fear of the past and the
future held less sway over me as I
worked the Steps, surrendered my fears,
and did service.

Service is the most important tool for
me. The more service I do, the more I am
fully alive in the present and I worry
less about the past and the future. The
peace and serenity that replaced the
fear are blessed gifts allowing me to
explore more of the present day. With
them, I can honestly share myself with
others and rebuild relationships. I now
know the freedom of "giving all to what
is present" and I pray for the
willingness to stay in the present and
be generous toward my future.

ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .

I live fully in the present, easily and
effortlessly surrendering the past and
the future to my Higher Power.

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~
"God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."