Getting divorced?

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  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
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    I just read your profile info.
    You're 29 and have been married a year?
    It seems a shame.
    Why does he want to leave?
    Have you considered counseling?
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
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    I don't have any advice but I wish you all the best with things. :flowerforyou:
  • Dechant63
    Dechant63 Posts: 59
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    Put the frustration towards the gym ! You can do it!!
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
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    If your marriage is indeed over, change your profile to reflect that and concentrate on the present. I totally agree that losing the weight will be the best revenge. Do it!! :)
  • missbp
    missbp Posts: 601 Member
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    Unfortunately during times like this clarity is usually not found easily.


    Don't do ANYTHING for revenge or out of spite. Don't do anything to try and "show" him. Do not make his choice to leave the mariage about you not being worthy. That is not the case.

    I wish you all the best in a difficult time.

    Find good friends to talk to, focus/pray/meditate to bring calm and understanding.

    Keep the faith.

    This is EXCELLENT advice! AND a HOT man wearing a kilt gave it to you! That's pretty awesome!

    Besides what he said, my advice is to just hang in there. Make healthy choices because they are what is best for you. You matter. Your well being is the most important thing. Wishing you happiness and success in achieving all of your goals.

    MB
  • cindyb1984
    cindyb1984 Posts: 203 Member
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    Yup! 29 and married for 10 months. We have been together for almost 7 years though. He told me he never wanted to marry me but I pressured him into it because I talked about it all the time.
  • patches184
    patches184 Posts: 1
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    Telling you that is nasty. If you guys were together for almost 7 years then he had plenty of time to tell you that he didn't want to get married and he could have left. It would have been easier then doing it now after you guys got married.
  • TheEffort
    TheEffort Posts: 1,028 Member
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    bump.

    8488541.png
  • DesdemonaRose
    DesdemonaRose Posts: 190
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    Marriage seemed to "mess up," my son's dad too, the idea of it. We were together for just a little over a year and it was either get married or have a long distance relationship for a while (both military) so we went with it. However, if I had any idea what his issues were with the concept of marriage I never would have done so. Things were great for a little while but then he started to treat me like stereotypical married lady instead of bothering to get to know me. I think be married scared him.

    I hope that you can get rid of him soon and move on with life!
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    Much of this advice really is disturbing.

    The notion of "getting revenge" by getting hot?

    I saw this topic on a Dr. Phil episode a while back. He says "everybody starts working out loses the weight AFTER the divorce. Maybe if they tried that hard during the marriage there wouldn't have been a divorce!"

    Dr. Phil is an idiot.

    OP, you're free of dead weight now. Put all the hurt into the gym.
  • cindyb1984
    cindyb1984 Posts: 203 Member
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    I just read your profile info.
    You're 29 and have been married a year?
    It seems a shame.
    Why does he want to leave?
    Have you considered counseling?

    We have been married for 10 months but we have been together for almost 7 years.
    I am not exactly sure why he wants to leave. He just says he isn't happy anymore. He doesn't tell me why. (He doesn't speak to me - all conversations are done by text message)
    When I suggest counseling he said that there was no point because I wouldn't change anyways. He takes absolutely no responsibility for our problems but says it is all my fault.
    I don't want counseling anymore anyways. I just want him out of my house.
  • cindyb1984
    cindyb1984 Posts: 203 Member
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    I lost 3.4lbs this week!
    Thank you to everyone who suggested to get my feeling out when I exercise. I have been exercising for almost 2 hours almost every night this week! It has made me feel much better! I know I have a long journey ahead of me with probably plenty of bumps in the road, but I know that I can do this!
    Thank you all!
  • crisbabe81
    crisbabe81 Posts: 170
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    I lost 3.4lbs this week!
    Thank you to everyone who suggested to get my feeling out when I exercise. I have been exercising for almost 2 hours almost every night this week! It has made me feel much better! I know I have a long journey ahead of me with probably plenty of bumps in the road, but I know that I can do this!
    Thank you all!

    :heart: We all knew you could do it, glad you also know you can! Congrats:flowerforyou:
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through a divorce. Hopefully this will be something that you can focus on during this difficult time period.
  • kyleekay10
    kyleekay10 Posts: 1,812 Member
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    I am just wondering if there are people out there who are able to stay on track while going through marital problems, separation and divorce. My husband is leaving me (he is looking for a new place and will be gone once he finds one) and I am trying to stay on track because I don't want him to take this from me too. I am doing this for ME! But I am struggling. I am such an emotional eater I just want to stuff my face!
    If anybody has any advice, please share!

    I used my divorce (which is still in process) as a reason to get my butt in gear. I've lost about 17 pounds since January and I feel better than ever.

    The best part? I saw my ex recently to discuss the proceedings, and the first thing out of his mouth was "WOW... you've lost a ton of weight!" Made me feel triumphant. :)

    Best of luck to you (and anyone) who is going through this right now!
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    easy. when u feel like eating, go workout, go for a walk, go try to cook a new healthy dish. use your energy for something good. :D
  • scrowl86
    scrowl86 Posts: 12 Member
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    My husband told me last year that he wanted to find someone who could have his kids (I have PCOS and cant seem to get pregnant) I found walking the dogs was the best escape, or I would have been stuffing my face. It allowed me to get freash air and exercise. I find myself more determined when my heart is broken sadly.
  • rhinesb
    rhinesb Posts: 204 Member
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    Surround yourself with like-minded individuals in your area. Join clubs or fitness groups in your area to take your mind of what is going on. Those people will motivate you and keep you accountable if you decide to slip up.

    ^^^^this
  • PunkinSpice79
    PunkinSpice79 Posts: 309 Member
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    Oh goodness. (((<3))) I'm so sorry. I'm divorced too, but I was glad to get rid of the loser. I'd recommend you reconsider him moving out. I left my home and was so glad I did!!! How depressing to be reminded at every turn. I got an apartment, bought new furniture (okay, from garage sales at first), threw myself into church activities and new hobbies. The apartment complex was great because I had access to a pool every day (where I also met tons of people). I didn't have to fix dinner or even be expected to eat (if I wasn't hungry). What a year of freedom! I still look back on it fondly (though I'm very happily remarried now). I guess it depends on the situation. I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to pray for you. You will survive, and you'll be stronger on the other side.
  • Healthy_Hunnie
    Healthy_Hunnie Posts: 60 Member
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    OP - While I am not married, I am going through a very rough patch in my relationship. I started out being devastated and crying all the time. I have since talked to friends/family and they have helped me snap out of it (for the most part).

    I still have sad moments because I am still unsure what is going to happen but I remind myself whenever I am feeling down that...

    Each and every day can get better or worse for me. I am in charge of how my day is going to go. This is when I have to choose to have a positive day.

    It doesnt always create happy joyful feelings, but I can at least get on with my day without having a breakdown.

    I am very sorry to hear about what you are going through, but I am also very excited for you and getting back into working out and already seeing results. That is awesome!

    The best thing I can say is keep your chin up, focus on your well being, and know that there are people out there that care and cherish you. You just need to find them and give them the chance to fullfill that part of your life.

    Hope you have a happy holiday season and you can focus on the people near and dear to you. Everything will be alright.

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