Getting divorced?

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Replies

  • cindyb1984
    cindyb1984 Posts: 203 Member
    I just read your profile info.
    You're 29 and have been married a year?
    It seems a shame.
    Why does he want to leave?
    Have you considered counseling?

    We have been married for 10 months but we have been together for almost 7 years.
    I am not exactly sure why he wants to leave. He just says he isn't happy anymore. He doesn't tell me why. (He doesn't speak to me - all conversations are done by text message)
    When I suggest counseling he said that there was no point because I wouldn't change anyways. He takes absolutely no responsibility for our problems but says it is all my fault.
    I don't want counseling anymore anyways. I just want him out of my house.
  • cindyb1984
    cindyb1984 Posts: 203 Member
    I lost 3.4lbs this week!
    Thank you to everyone who suggested to get my feeling out when I exercise. I have been exercising for almost 2 hours almost every night this week! It has made me feel much better! I know I have a long journey ahead of me with probably plenty of bumps in the road, but I know that I can do this!
    Thank you all!
  • crisbabe81
    crisbabe81 Posts: 170
    I lost 3.4lbs this week!
    Thank you to everyone who suggested to get my feeling out when I exercise. I have been exercising for almost 2 hours almost every night this week! It has made me feel much better! I know I have a long journey ahead of me with probably plenty of bumps in the road, but I know that I can do this!
    Thank you all!

    :heart: We all knew you could do it, glad you also know you can! Congrats:flowerforyou:
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through a divorce. Hopefully this will be something that you can focus on during this difficult time period.
  • kyleekay10
    kyleekay10 Posts: 1,812 Member
    I am just wondering if there are people out there who are able to stay on track while going through marital problems, separation and divorce. My husband is leaving me (he is looking for a new place and will be gone once he finds one) and I am trying to stay on track because I don't want him to take this from me too. I am doing this for ME! But I am struggling. I am such an emotional eater I just want to stuff my face!
    If anybody has any advice, please share!

    I used my divorce (which is still in process) as a reason to get my butt in gear. I've lost about 17 pounds since January and I feel better than ever.

    The best part? I saw my ex recently to discuss the proceedings, and the first thing out of his mouth was "WOW... you've lost a ton of weight!" Made me feel triumphant. :)

    Best of luck to you (and anyone) who is going through this right now!
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    easy. when u feel like eating, go workout, go for a walk, go try to cook a new healthy dish. use your energy for something good. :D
  • scrowl86
    scrowl86 Posts: 12 Member
    My husband told me last year that he wanted to find someone who could have his kids (I have PCOS and cant seem to get pregnant) I found walking the dogs was the best escape, or I would have been stuffing my face. It allowed me to get freash air and exercise. I find myself more determined when my heart is broken sadly.
  • rhinesb
    rhinesb Posts: 204 Member
    Surround yourself with like-minded individuals in your area. Join clubs or fitness groups in your area to take your mind of what is going on. Those people will motivate you and keep you accountable if you decide to slip up.

    ^^^^this
  • PunkinSpice79
    PunkinSpice79 Posts: 309 Member
    Oh goodness. (((<3))) I'm so sorry. I'm divorced too, but I was glad to get rid of the loser. I'd recommend you reconsider him moving out. I left my home and was so glad I did!!! How depressing to be reminded at every turn. I got an apartment, bought new furniture (okay, from garage sales at first), threw myself into church activities and new hobbies. The apartment complex was great because I had access to a pool every day (where I also met tons of people). I didn't have to fix dinner or even be expected to eat (if I wasn't hungry). What a year of freedom! I still look back on it fondly (though I'm very happily remarried now). I guess it depends on the situation. I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to pray for you. You will survive, and you'll be stronger on the other side.
  • Healthy_Hunnie
    Healthy_Hunnie Posts: 60 Member
    OP - While I am not married, I am going through a very rough patch in my relationship. I started out being devastated and crying all the time. I have since talked to friends/family and they have helped me snap out of it (for the most part).

    I still have sad moments because I am still unsure what is going to happen but I remind myself whenever I am feeling down that...

    Each and every day can get better or worse for me. I am in charge of how my day is going to go. This is when I have to choose to have a positive day.

    It doesnt always create happy joyful feelings, but I can at least get on with my day without having a breakdown.

    I am very sorry to hear about what you are going through, but I am also very excited for you and getting back into working out and already seeing results. That is awesome!

    The best thing I can say is keep your chin up, focus on your well being, and know that there are people out there that care and cherish you. You just need to find them and give them the chance to fullfill that part of your life.

    Hope you have a happy holiday season and you can focus on the people near and dear to you. Everything will be alright.
  • Hornsby
    Hornsby Posts: 10,322 Member
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  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    Much of this advice really is disturbing.

    The notion of "getting revenge" by getting hot?

    I saw this topic on a Dr. Phil episode a while back. He says "everybody starts working out loses the weight AFTER the divorce. Maybe if they tried that hard during the marriage there wouldn't have been a divorce!"

    I wasn't overweight in my first marriage and I got to the point of being underweight during and after the divorce.
    I left for several reasons, but mainly to get me and my sons away from the abuse.
    I wouldn't call that revenge, I'd call it safety.
    Fifteen years later I could care less what he thinks about me.
    I wish I had never met him and never want to see him again. Ever.
  • gkauf744
    gkauf744 Posts: 128 Member
    I've been there with the 5-6 hours of awkwardness, yuck! My "husband" turned a corner as soon as I filed paperwork, and has been friendly ever since. I'm a yo yo dieter, and I have been slender before, but I was fat when I met him. I'm trying to lose weight now because I'm a divorcee, and I want to look more attractive. I don't care what Dr. Phil says. My marriage is over, why shouldn't I want to take care of myself?
  • Kookyk9s
    Kookyk9s Posts: 259 Member
    Put a note on the refrigerator - on the cupboard doors and every where else appropriate. The note should say; " the solution to the problem is not in here.`` The solution to your problem/grief is not food. Food is fuel for your body - nothing more and nothing less. You deserve more than just fuel or excess fuel. I have no solution to your problem(s) and no opinion on your relationship. But if it is not making you happy then it has to change. How you decide to change is in your control and the answer is not food. You are smart enough and strong enough to figure this big one out and I believe you can do it if you believe you can do it. The only thing I know for sure is where the answer is not. And you already know this. Hang on to this truth while you figure out your truth for the rest of your life.

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