Is your SO into fitness with you?
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I was just going to post a topic about this to get feedback. My fiancé is not on the fitness train yet and I try not to push him too much because then he feels pressured and upset. He has been doing great by adjusting his diet though. I understand that working out would be a lot because he works about 8 hrs a day doing manual labor, but I do hope that he can incorporate a little bit a week because I really think it would help with stress relief and also assist in his sleeping at night (He has a horrible time staying asleep). Even if he just tried out Yoga or went for a short walk.
Anyway, I just keep on doing what I'm doing. When I first started working out and on my path to a healthy lifestyle, he said "If you show me results...then I'll get on board"... Well here I am -50 lbs later and he is still not joining me for nothing. lol... Gotta give him credit... He is a hell of a supporter.
My advice to anyone in this position... Just keep doing what you are doing and Have patience. You can't win them all, but by you helping yourself and taking care of #1, it will show to others and it will bring positive benefits.0 -
Some of my habits have rubbed off on him over time, and some haven't. It's a non-issue in our relationship honestly. He supports all of my health/fitness stuff and will enter his recipes in my MFP recipe builder when he cooks so that I'll have the calorie counts. I support his desire to not worry about health/fitness all the time, especially when he's stressed out about other things.
HE ENTERS HIS RECIPES????
That's awesome!!!! I think mine is jealous of all the time I spend on MFP....0 -
Im in your boat too. I've been married to my husband for 10 years. I've always worked out, tried to eat right and live a healthy life. But my hubby is a plumber, smokes a pack a day and drinks beer almost daily, yet his is slender and muscular.
We are a weird combo, always have been and everyone knows it.0 -
are you dating my husband?Or if you're single, are you drawn to people living a fitness/healthy lifestyle?
I love my bf to death, definitely soul mates, marriage material etc etc etc. BUT we are completely opposite in lifestyle. For the most part, I think it's kind of funny and keeps things interesting.....but sometimes it bothers me a bit.
I'm in executive sales, I track calories and macros, I work out daily, I run races, never smoked, no drugs, quit drinking....you name it. My bf is a pipe welder (that alone I'm worried is horrible for his health, but he loves doing it so I'm happy for him), he smokes cigarettes and weed (lots), drinks every night, puts whipped cream on everything, eats a few chocolate bars a day. Somehow, he has a 6-pack. It's not fair.
While I don't approve of his lifestyle, it's not up to me to change it. He does tell me all the time he's proud of my hard work and he comes to my races to cheer me on. I know it's hard for him to get up at 7 am on a Sunday and get to these things, and worst of all for him, he has to control my dog the whole time I'm running
Because he is so understanding of my lifestyle, I have been returning the favour. When I say it bothers me a bit, of course I'm concerned for his health and want him to live as long as possible, but I'm fully aware that's in his hands and all I can do is set a good example.
What about you guys? Could you be with someone with a completely different lifestyle? If you are, are you trying to change them or influence them? Are bad habits a deal breaker for you?0 -
my SO is not as intense as I am, but he wants to stop drinking pop now (his big vice) and he goes on nightly walks with me to get my fitbit steps. I've definitely positively influenced him 0
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When I got married my husband and I were not too into fitness. He worked in construction and stayed fit that way. I went to the gym once and a while but didn't watch what I ate much.
Now 14 years later we have both gained a bit. I work out almost ever day and log on here regularly. He has an office job and is out of shape. He always complains how out of shape he is but does nothing about it. All he has to do is go downstairs and do something. But I can't make him he has to do it on his own.
I even told him about this site and he wanted me to log his food for him. Um, no. He is not ready now but hopefully one day soon he will wake up and get moving. I just want him to be healthy.0 -
My boyfriend of five years is not totally on board the fitness train, but I have persuaded him to log his food with MFP, and I am grateful for that. He has shed some weight just by paying attention to what he eats. He tends to be stubborn and dislike change, but I am trying to lead by example. Once he moves in with me, I feel that he will be eating a lot healthier (since he will have to go out and buy unhealthy food). As for exercise, I'm working on him. Lord knows I love muscle.
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My SO is a landscaper and feels that's workout enough for him. He eats like crap, and drinks more pop than anyone should. I've been trying to eat healthier and live a healthier life style. At first he wasn't on board. But Monday he decided to join me while I was doing my workout. And he told me when I start the c25k he will join me then too.0
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My wife and I got together because we both like to run. We were running partners before anything else.0
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My wife and I have different motivations for being fit. She's just looking to lose a few pounds to feel a little lighter and look a little better in the mirror.
My family has a history of Heart attack and diabetes. So for me the motivation is more... urgent. If I kick the bucket at the same age my dad (and his dad) did, I'll barely live to see my boy turn 30. That's not acceptable.
As a result she thinks I've gone over the deep end.
But we're both eating better. It's just that I walk and work out more than she does. I'm cool with that.0 -
My boyfriend and I are both trying to lose weight and get fitter, but we workout separately. I'm bringing my running shoes with me when I go over to his place tomorrow / Thursday so I can run with him and not take two whole days off from exercising. He's much more of a runner and a boxer while I'm an aerobic class junkie and a swimmer.0
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My bf and I are complete opposites in every aspect. He works from home, doesn't mind his sedentary life, eats whatever he wants and smokes. He knows he needs to start doing more to watch his weight and knows he needs to quit smoking but he doesn't have the mindset for it right now. If he had a more active lifestyle, I wouldn't worry so much about him but as it is, I can only encourage him. He did workout with me the other day but since our schedules rarely line up like that, it's hard to stay consistent.
Then there's me. I workout almost every day of the week, watch my calories, am running races (he supports me but not willing to get out of bed to cheer for me...yet). I grew up very active (horses, ranch life, 3-sport athlete in high school) and hate the fact I have an office job that doesn't allow me to be outside on a regular basis. So his sedentary lifestyle sometimes drives me nuts but if it really gets to me, I just decide to go do something on my own.0 -
I’m single and have changed my lifestyle to the point I would need to be with someone that was also very active. It’s a short coming on my part but I fear if I was with someone that didn’t care to be active and eat right that I’m possibly not strong enough to continue and would have a tendency to sink to the lowest common denominator. As an example on a Weekend morning when I normally get up and cycle for 30- or 40 miles if I had a significant other that said lets sleep in and then cook breakfast together I’m afraid the bike ride wouldn’t happen.. Someone would have to support my drive or be a part of it or I might fail and start slacking. Not a good trait, just being honest about my fears. I wouldn’t need them to work out with me but I would need them to be supportive.0
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No, he's not. He is only a few pounds overweight and is currently using the wishful thinking plan to lose them. :laugh:0
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He's not into it to the level I am, but he is fit and active and it's another reason why I love him.0
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Yes, my Fiancé is now into fitness with me. Two months ago we joined Eagle Valley Fitness with his family, and now we're the only ones using the membership the most. His mom goes sometimes, but she works long hours so I can understand why she doesn't go all the time.
We're just heading back to the gym tonight actually. I have now recovered from two injures, and a wedding. Haha...0 -
Definitely not. My boyfriend is a tad overweight and has bad eating habits. I'll make healthy dinners but when he makes food for himself, it is seldom healthy. I wish he would lead a healthier lifestyle but he has no interest.0
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LOL ...nope...I wish..wish..wish...he was because so much time and energy (exercise, food planning & prepping, spare time staying active) goes into my life now...that it separates us even further...0
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We both are working towards becoming personal trainers and motivate each other to workout =D0
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My husband loves to run, but I hate it. I lift weights 3x a week (I stick to a predetermined program); he lifts occasionally and "does his own thing". I did sports in college have way more experience from being coached than he does, but he can't take any kind of advice from me, so we don't exercise together.
But, we both have a general interest in being active; we just do different things. For both of us, our idea of a fun weekend is going for a long hike or a bike ride. He eats whatever I cook at home and packs his lunch with stuff I've bought at the grocery store, so we eat fairly similar diets.0 -
This is a very good topic. I have been exercising everyday now for about 3 years since I joined here.
Since then I do Pilates, ride my bike winter and summer and do DVD's in bad weather.
My husband on the other hand supports me all the way, he knows I do this because I have health
issues and need to lose weight. I just wish he would come on board. We have been married for
39 years now I guess its too late for him, but he will join me if I ask him. We also have had
numerous exercise machines in the house at some point in time, but he does nothing on a
regular basis. I will just let it go, he doesn't have health issues anyway.0 -
My guy has the mtabolism of a hummingbird and can pretty much eat and drink what he likes while still looking hot as a very hot thing. I work out so that I can join him with some of those!
Although he doesn't join me at the gym, we do hike and mountain bike sometimes, and he's very supportive - he may not be into the gym, but he's certainly into the results on me 0 -
to each their own. you have your differences but if you can be happy together and no one is making the other change, than i think it's fine.
my partner isn't huge on exercise, he likes to stay in more and play call of duty. he does go hiking with me if he is around. we also eat differently, i am a vegetarian, and he loves some meat haha. but i cook, mostly for myself but i make extra for him. he doesn't mind the meatless meals, and every now and then i am nice and cook chicken on the side for him to add it. he works at a mall as a manager so he eats whatever crap he wants when he is there lol.
like i said, he plays video games all the damn time and i really don't care for them, unless it's guitar hero. i hate sitting in front the screen that often and i would rather be out doing something. so usually if he is home all night playing games i will meet up with a girlfriend or something.
we both do smoke, he drinks way more than i do but overall our differences really don't get in the way. and it makes things more interesting at times. we are at the 4 year mark and haven't killed each other yet.
i think it gets boring having all the same things in common. i dated someone who was a runner like myself in college, and we used to go on runs together as dates and whatnot. he wasn't the same religion, he was (some sort of christian) and i am catholic, but we had other beliefs that were similar. didn't really last that long though we both kinda got bored, it was like being with ourselves all the time. i need some variety.
the most you can do is see for his own health, if he wants to quit smoking and drinking so he can be around with you longer. but if you guys get a long and it works out well then why ruin a good thing.0 -
Brutal honesty here... I have been married for almost 30 years, I am 48.... and we were never in the same mindset about it until recently. I'm more of an obsessive about it, but honestly it's always rubbed me wrong.
I've always wanted to do things together, go do things like biking and hiking and being outdoors, she never wanted to. After a couple of years I finally stopped asking, I didn't want her to come along anymore. I got accustomed to her not being there. Now she wants to get in shape, is doing her own thing at a training spa for women, and maybe she will want to eventually go with me, but I enjoy my time alone while riding, and hiking. Not sure how it will play out, but it became a big deal over time. Now our kids are grown and it's our time, but now we are very different people.
What I am saying is, if you aren't gelling about something as significant as being active, eating right, or running around outdoors, then you may find that it eventually becomes a big deal. Not at first, but later, when you have dealt with all these "small" differences for decades...Decades is a long time for small differences to fester into big things, the "but I love them" wears off eventually and some of those small annoying things, could become very big annoying things over time. Just sayin'.0 -
He kinda was - now he is (now we broke up). He didn't like m work out videos thou felt they were for girls, onl P90X - not that he wasn't almost dead after JM haha. Tried too explain he still needed to lose some weight so the muscles could be seen. And he was really bad at calorie counting. And due to fields and so on it does make it harder bc you kinda have to eat what you are given - all their food is very high calories one I got given to try was 2000 cals in one meal.
But if it was anything o do with hiking he would do, walking no, bike yes.0 -
I was dating someone else, who didn't exercise, when I met my husband.0
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Brutal honesty here... I have been married for almost 30 years, I am 48.... and we were never in the same mindset about it until recently. I'm more of an obsessive about it, but honestly it's always rubbed me wrong.
I've always wanted to do things together, go do things like biking and hiking and being outdoors, she never wanted to. After a couple of years I finally stopped asking, I didn't want her to come along anymore. I got accustomed to her not being there. Now she wants to get in shape, is doing her own thing at a training spa for women, and maybe she will want to eventually go with me, but I enjoy my time alone while riding, and hiking. Not sure how it will play out, but it became a big deal over time. Now our kids are grown and it's our time, but now we are very different people.
What I am saying is, if you aren't gelling about something as significant as being active, eating right, or running around outdoors, then you may find that it eventually becomes a big deal. Not at first, but later, when you have dealt with all these "small" differences for decades...Decades is a long time for small differences to fester into big things, the "but I love them" wears off eventually and some of those small annoying things, could become very big annoying things over time. Just sayin'.
Well, it's been over a decade now that we've been together not plural, but still a decade. I have always been active and healthy and he has always been him. Seems to be fine still. We have enough in common to get us by - camping, food network tv, hating on the general public....the important stuff haha0
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