Wife says I need psychological help !!!!

bdeezy3396 · July 2013

I was out shopping with my wife the other day and she wanted to buy me some new pants as I only have one pair now that fits me decent. As I dropped down sizes fast I'm still wearing pants that are too big, but are not falling down so they work for me. To save money I told her lets wait because I still needed to lose about 20 more lbs, and the pants I have now would hold out until then.

My wife looked at me with this confused look and said if I thought that I needed to lose another 20lbs then I need to seek psychological help. At first I thought she was joking, so when I asked her if she was she said no and she truly thinks I need help. I explained to her that at 5'10" my BMI is currently at 27.8 which still has me in the medium-high range of being over weight, and that losing 20 lbs would put me just at the high range of a normal BMI. She didn't want to hear it, she thinks that I would look sickly, and is really angry with me.

Maybe me being big for so long she got used to being as the normal? Is the the BMI still a good measurement to go by? What are your thoughts?

kayemmgee5 · July 2013

I've wondered this, too. I don't know if psychological help is the right thing - is she thinking you have an eating disorder or body image issue? Because I was wondering it too, and I've lost around 23 lbs (I've never lost this much before!) I consulted my doctor and made an appointment to just go over everything and make sure I'm on track. It might be worth the small office fee to give you peace of mind knowing your body is indeed healthy.

ncmedic201 · July 2013

I would make a deal with her that you will follow your doctors recommendations and take her to the appointment.

BTW M GO BLUE....I'm originally from right down the road from you in GB.

Mia_RagazzaTosta · July 2013

I wouldn't rely on BMI because it often doesn't tell the whole "story," so to speak. For example, my friend's husband is 9% body fat, normal weight, and is considered obese because of what his BMI is.

Have you looked into body recomposition?

ltgarrow · July 2013

There are 2 issues to tackle here. The first is the BMI measurement. I disagree with the whole thing. I think if you are comfortable, athletic(to a degree) and not haveing any significant reason not to, go for the extra 20 lbs.
The second is the psychological help piece. You're married, if she doesn't think you need professional help, you're not doing it right.

Keep up the good work.

RHSheetz · July 2013

Since you lost 100 lbs, I would Highly suggest you get a GOOD Body Comp done. That is the safest way instead of BMI. BMI is based on "average" build and is only on Height and Weight. It does not truly give you a good idea of where you are.

You could get yourself a set of Calipers and do a skin fold test for Body Comp if you do not have access to someone who can do it.

erickirb · July 2013

BMI scale has never been a good measure. If you carry more muscle you would be seen as overweight even with low BF%. I would suggest you go by BF%, if you don't have a way to get that go by how cloths fit and how you look in the mirror.

Francl27 · July 2013

Well BMI doesn't mean much. If you are pretty muscular, there's a good chance your BMI will be over the normal range, for example.

I hear you though. I'm in the same boat, except it's my mom. She thinks I'm nuts for wanting to lose another 25 lbs. I'm around the same BMI as you are and definitely got a lot of fat to lose still. I'd definitely talk to your doctor about it to see what he/she has to say, just in case, but keep up the good work!

rml_16 · July 2013

In that fourth photo in your avatar, you look pretty skinny. But your T-shirt is baggy, so it's tough to tell if you're carrying some excess weight in your tummy. I can't really judge from your photos if your wife is right or wrong, but I do know most people have a very skewed idea of what healthy weight looks like, especially if they're used to seeing a particular person very overweight.

Why don't you go have a physical and ask the doctor. If he or she is on your side, that should be enough for your wife.

LINIA · July 2013

There is not a way for me to put this nicely, so i have to ask " is your wife overweight" ? She may not be the best one to judge what you should weigh. Also if your clothes fit poorly, more than likely, you don't look your best.

I think now is a good time to strengthen your inner resolve, realize that a healthy weight for you may just not be up to your wife to judge and yes.....many of us see " overweight" as healthy because it is what is out there ....right in front of us....all the time.

Good Luck, you'll be fine wearing those new clothes and at a healthy BMI.

UsedToBeHusky · July 2013

Well... if you lose another 20 lbs and its just fat, then you will probably be really cut. If you aren't interested in that fitness goal, however, you are probably just fine where you are.

I don't think you need to see a psychologist though.

Adirafox · July 2013

The second is the psychological help piece. You're married, if she doesn't think you need professional help, you're not doing it right.

Hehe

The_Godwin_72 · July 2013

I think you have done an OUTSTANDING job. I don't know if you need help, I do agree that the BMI is not a great goal. If your numbers are good- blood pressure, cholesterol and so on you my be fine where you are. The scale don't take everything into account. I'm "over weight" so say the BMI but I'm 5'7" 168 pounds and in a size 8 to 10. Work on being the best fit you and let your wife get you two pair of pants.

Kaimana94 · July 2013

I wouldn't go off the BMI. I was trying to get there too. 150 for my height. As I got close to 160 everyone keep telling me I look sickly. I gained, muscle, back to 170 and now everyone tells me I look good. Need to find a healthy weight for you.

saxmaniac · July 2013

Bluntly? It's none of her god damn business. This is your body, and she is wrong.

I think BMI is a useful rough tool, unless you are super-muscular when it's wrong. I'm 5'10, With a BMI of the low 20's, and about 19% BF. I still have plenty of abdominal fat I can lose., but I am at the point that I really can only do this coupled with strength training.

There is a kernel of truth here, if I got much below 160 without strength training then would lose a good deal of what little muscle I do have. I have decided that once I hit 160 I won't drop any further unless I am actively working out to preserve muscle mass. If you're still in the "overweight" category, it's a good idea, but not strictly necessary. People are just used to seeing you in a certain way and don't want you to change.

I would keep your plans to yourself and not tell her, if she's going to be controlling like that.

sunshinemouse34 · July 2013

Real question - Are YOU happy with how you look and feel?

That is what matters. As for your wife, was it an off-hand comment? A way to say she was already happy with the changes you made?

gsager · July 2013

When I lost weight I didn't like the way my body looked so I started lifting weights more and doing less cardio. BMI will give you an idea, do you see a family Dr? What does he think?

K_Serz · July 2013

I was out shopping with my wife the other day and she wanted to buy me some new pants as I only have one pair now that fits me decent. As I dropped down sizes fast I'm still wearing pants that are too big, but are not falling down so they work for me. To save money I told her lets wait because I still needed to lose about 20 more lbs, and the pants I have now would hold out until then.

My wife looked at me with this confused look and said if I thought that I needed to lose another 20lbs then I need to seek psychological help. At first I thought she was joking, so when I asked her if she was she said no and she truly thinks I need help. I explained to her that at 5'10" my BMI is currently at 27.8 which still has me in the medium-high range of being over weight, and that losing 20 lbs would put me just at the high range of a normal BMI. She didn't want to hear it, she thinks that I would look sickly, and is really angry with me.

Maybe me being big for so long she got used to being as the normal? Is the the BMI still a good measurement to go by? What are your thoughts?

I got the same reaction except instead of my wife telling me i need psychological help she said "You're obsessed." But shes not really angry with me like you stated. She just thinks I go a bit extreme with some workouts (which maybe thats true sometimes). Easy for her to say though. Shes 110lbs on a heavy day! Other than that she lets me do my thing.

Im 5'10 also and my BMI is 30

( All I want to do is lose 20 more as well (which seems to get harder and harder). Hopefully your wife will stop thinking you are a psycho and be a bit more supportive of your goals and your happiness. :drinker:

bobf279 · July 2013

I have not considered BMI as the reason to set my target weight. The weight I get too when I feel comfortable is my target. I have moved from obese to overweight so I am now in the right ball park and quite frankly I don't think that the recommended weight for my size would suit me at all. I am currently 5'6" and 184 lbs, my notional target weight is 175 lbs. My physcial capabilities are more important to me and I have some running goals to achieve so fitness and body shape are mean more than weight for me.

summery79 · July 2013

There is not a way for me to put this nicely, so i have to ask " is your wife overweight" ? She may not be the best one to judge what you should weigh.

This was my first thought too. I'm not saying that this is your situation, but I may have said some slightly nasty/jealous things back when I was overweight, but my already in shape husband was working on toning up a little more. May have. I admit to nothing. lol

footiechick82 · July 2013

You need to do what makes YOU happy.

She will appreciate it when your stamina in the bedroom is increased

Wife says I need psychological help !!!!

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