Online Dating!

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  • RockyColorado
    RockyColorado Posts: 41
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    I am on both eHarmony and Match.com.....Losing 30 pounds helps give you a sense of confidence! eHarmony is more intensive and a lot slower in the responding. I have a date tonight, we are meeting in a public place. I wish you could make updates to your profile without matches seeing that...I am constantly thinking of things I would like to change, but don't
  • MrMillion
    MrMillion Posts: 2
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    i realized recently that online dating has alot of fake profiles. They need to be active in getting rid of them or the experience is going to be ****.
  • HeadsPoppingOutOfCups
    HeadsPoppingOutOfCups Posts: 115
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    Online dating is stupid. I absolutely did not meet my husband by stalking him on a internet forum the summer of 2006. Was more like early autumn...
  • sophisli
    sophisli Posts: 41 Member
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    I met my boyfriend here, on MFP. Neither of us were looking for a partner . . . it just kind of happened.

    I actually think some of the better relationships are formed from friendships that end being so much more. When you are friends with someone you are a lot less guarded and are more true to who you really are than when you are doing the whole "I hope he likes me" thing and are trying to impress someone. Because we were friends first we both kind of threw all of our garbage out there from the word go. We got to know the good, the bad and the ugly about each other pretty quickly. When we moved from being friends to being in a relationship I didn't have to worry about any surprises or him not being the perfect match for me because I already knew what I was getting.

    My boyfriend is my best friend and that's why we have such a strong bond beyond how much we love each other. So, "looking for love" isn't always the best path. But hey, opinions are like *kitten*. Everyone has one.

    I actually believe in this philosophy...however, I have been single for 15 years (basically since I started wanting to date at 14) and now that I face turning 30 next year without ever being asked out it just doesn't fly. I get "friend-zoned" by men pretty voraciously and stay in that zone until the friendship eventually dissolves.

    I used to blame it on my weight seeing as I'm a highly educated, literate, and highly employed woman but women on MFP have opened my eyes to realize that everyone of every shape finds someone.
  • tonguetied69
    tonguetied69 Posts: 22
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    Had good and bad experiences, just like meeting in person. Be careful, it may be worth it.
  • fitmom07
    fitmom07 Posts: 215 Member
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    My husband and I met online over 9 years ago! We were just friends for a year and then had a long distance relationship for a year until he moved to be with me. We got engaged after that. Now we celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary and we have 2 kids! We didn't use dating site though. Good luck!
  • nsb999
    nsb999 Posts: 9
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    Howaboutwe is amazing.
  • CommandaPanda
    CommandaPanda Posts: 451 Member
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    The free sites:

    OkCupid - Most promising site to find a relationship, many of my friends have found success on here.

    Plenty of Fish (POF) - Probably the most sketch site of all of them. I'd only recommend this one if you're feeling lucky, but most likely will end up prepositioning yourself to get raped.

    Tinder - Best app (iOS/Android) for hookups imo. But it's also really great to meet new people, especially if you're willing to go out and do stuff.
  • shiraleerussell
    shiraleerussell Posts: 3 Member
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    It can happen - I met my husband on Match - my best friend met her husband on Match (after trying Toyboy warehouse for some fun first), an ex-colleague also met her husband on Match, and another good friend met her husband on The Guardian dating website. However, I have also had other friends and colleagues who met people to date for 4-12 months, with no marriage - but which I also see as a successful outcome.

    In addition to what some of the other posters have advised (being safe etc), I also:
    1. Looked at other peoples profiles before writing your own. You don't want to come across as only a good time girl, but neither do you want to seem like your looking for husbands and babies, etc.
    2. Everyone has the pre-requisite scuba diving or skiing photo, and the made up, at your best photo (eg at a wedding), but it is the other photos of you looking relaxed and natural, that appeal. You want to look good in your photos, but better in person.
    3. I only engaged with guys who contacted me first and mentioned something about my own profile - ignore general comments, or blanket emails. You want to see that they are interested in you.
    4. Do not over invest emotionally in someone before you even meet them. Emailing for too long can create a false sense of intimacy or connection - in the end, you need to meet them to see if the connection is there.
    5. If you want longer term -don't sleep with them for about a month - unless you want to, but then don't be surprised if they don't stick around long after. (This is not meant to sound judgemental or manipulative -but experience has borne this out)
    6. It sounds stupid, but I guess that I was expecting everyone I met to be weirdos or players - but that was not the case. Most were nice people, and most were just looking for what we all are - friendship, love and affection, marriage and babies -etc
    7. The stats worked out by my friends and I about our collective dates meant that about every 7th person we met there was a longer term dating / relationship formed

    Sorry if this is TMI - I was lucky to have the experience and tips of friends and colleagues who had already been on-line dating for a while before I started, and so some of this was advice from them, some I learned myself. I was lucky to meet someone on a site that I married - I had decided he was my last date and then I was not renewing my membership, and it worked out for me. Even if I hadn't met him, however, I would still have enjoyed the overall experience as it gave me more confidence and also a greater insight into people and how they think.

    It is like everything in life - you get out of it what your looking to get out of it.
  • candifeola
    candifeola Posts: 305 Member
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    I've never had any luck but my girlfriend got married after finding someone on match, I tend to attract strange guys lol
  • MORECHABLIS
    MORECHABLIS Posts: 164 Member
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    I haven't dated much in last 3 years, did use POF for 3-4 months late last year... Went on a date nearly every week... Even after reading their profile and chatting to the girls on the phone... They were different meeting them in person... And a few total loony tunes and some scary...

    Not sure what I want to do in future... I don't tend to 'look... Might try again...'
  • LAnne16
    LAnne16 Posts: 272 Member
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    I don't know if this is helpful, but an online dating site led me to my boyfriend. But I knew him before and messaged him half as a joke because his profile came up on my match list.... But we kind of hit it off because of that
  • DJMIKEY1
    DJMIKEY1 Posts: 523 Member
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    Wait! You're telling me this isn't an online dating site?? What the hell am I doing here then.
  • time2change14
    time2change14 Posts: 70
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    I haven't had much luck with dating lately so I am thinking of doing online dating. I'm kind of nervous about it though!

    I was hoping you guys could share your experiences with online dating. Any tips or advice?

    Thanks! :)

    And also which site is the best? Haha, I don't know what site I should use!

    Out of curiosity..where are you located? Sometimes that can have a swing on who you're meeting online in certain areas. I know DC area can be interesting..I'll put it that way!!

    I live in Denver Colorado :)
  • skinnymalinkyscot
    skinnymalinkyscot Posts: 174 Member
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    In the days before internet dating took off people went on blind dates, I met my husband on a blind date on June 4th 1994 and we were married within 3 months and gave birth to my son on.....June4th 1995! exactly a year later lol, we have been together happily for 19 years . The advantage of a face to face meeting early on was if there was no spark or attraction then we were only invested one date in and could have walked away easily.

    there are drawbacks to internet dating and the whole getting to know you slowly thing, you still have to meet at some point and may not be attracted to each other after all, by that time you may have opened up about everything under the sun over a period of months and spent hours on the phone too, so it wont be as easy to disentangle emotionally and from somebody who comes across in person as a weirdo.

    Finally my husband works with a lot of men , some of the single ones use Plenty of Fish looking for a weekend legover. They all say the women are willing and up for having sex immediately , if thats the case then they cant complain about being used . Whether you meet someone in real life or meet someone via the internet , just be safe, dont rush into physical intimacy and until you go exclusive then date as many people as you want.
  • LisaDunn01
    LisaDunn01 Posts: 173 Member
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    I had success on Match.com. I went on it because two of my friends met their husbands through this website. And, I can boast that I too met my husband on Match.com! While there are a lot of emotionally unstable or strange people out there (or even "players" - that goes for both sexes), I found that I watched very closely to what people said when they emailed me, as well as what they said on their profiles. What made my husband's profile different is that he wasn't doing some broad public announcement (e.g., "Hey ladies! Here I am. To apply, you cannot have any baggage whatsoever!"). His communication was realistic (..."We all have baggage, as long as it fits into the overhead compartment, we're good"), simple ("I'm looking for someone who can give me a different viewpoint on life.") and it was like he was talking to just one person (in this case, ME!). Funny enough, my profile was the same - as if I was talking to just one person and letting them know who I was and what I was looking for.

    I would say don't be afraid to put yourself out there. Just have rules in place for yourself. Mine were to not take my profile down when met with disappointment, and to have trusted friends review profiles and emails that I felt uncertain about and give me their take. I also put a 2500 mile radius on my search, as my viewpoint was that someone out there would be willing to relocate to be with me. (My husband was in a different State and relocated to be with me.)

    Good luck!
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
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    Finally my husband works with a lot of men , some of the single ones use Plenty of Fish looking for a weekend legover. They all say the women are willing and up for having sex immediately , if thats the case then they cant complain about being used . Whether you meet someone in real life or meet someone via the internet , just be safe, dont rush into physical intimacy and until you go exclusive then date as many people as you want.

    That's a bit of an old-fashioned notion, that when two people have sex right away the woman is the only one being used. It all depends on what women want from the guy, and sometimes it's just a fun weekend.
  • MORECHABLIS
    MORECHABLIS Posts: 164 Member
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    Finally my husband works with a lot of men , some of the single ones use Plenty of Fish looking for a weekend legover. They all say the women are willing and up for having sex immediately , if thats the case then they cant complain about being used . Whether you meet someone in real life or meet someone via the internet , just be safe, dont rush into physical intimacy and until you go exclusive then date as many people as you want.

    That's a bit of an old-fashioned notion, that when two people have sex right away the woman is the only one being used. It all depends on what women want from the guy, and sometimes it's just a fun weekend.

    Yes, in the past I've met a few women in the past who just wanted a 'leg over' on the first evening, no relationship, just a leg over... And that's it... No problems... I just more women were more honest like that... Its the whole point in being single, yes, would be nice to find someone to have a 'relationship', until then a fun weekend doesn't hurt anyone....
  • mister_Big
    mister_Big Posts: 60
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    I thought this was online dating....wtf :/
  • WisiPls
    WisiPls Posts: 359
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    Do you mean online dating like POF? where you make an account, meet someone online then meet in real life? if so that's not so weird.

    But if you mean dating online, and never meeting the person and having cyber sex sessions, then it's a bit weird.

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