Boyfriend frustrations!

he sounds like a great catch

Heres my problem with these types of threads. There is only 1 side of the story. From the sounds of it, you're a control freak who thinks that her boyfriend should get into fitness even though he doesn't want to (sure he says he do but unless he wants to, he ain't gonna do squat).

But you're saying that you're pushing him because he's a kid and you're trying to fulfill the mom role. But wheres his side of the story? Is his story along the lines of "Hey, I get 1 day out of the week to chill and I wanna chill".

And heres the catch. He's out of shape and you're pushing him. If YOU were out of shape and he was pushing you, you would probably go all "oh he only liked me for my body and now that I'm fat, he wants me to change".

Leave the man be or just leave the man.

I was in a relationship like this once, I was the guy that was lazy and never wanted to do anything. We broke up and we were both happier after. I loved her but we just weren't on the same page.

unfortunately, you can't force him. if he's not motivated, nothing will happen. it IS pretty common to complain about your own body and not do anything about it. and a few walks here and there are not going to help much. just give him his time and space, he will have to decide on his own.

Okay I am coming across a lot different to what I am.
I am asking for help cos i want to help him not me. He works 9 - 5 mon - fri like a lot of people on here do.
But I will let it go if he complains about his weight or size I am just gonna shrug it off...he is eating junk food for lunch everyday decreasing his life span and time togethor I will just shrug it off cos I dont want to be that "nagging girlfriend" since diabetes runs in his family its okay Ill just shrug it off.

Glad you realized that you're not his mommy. Only took you a few posts. Kudos to you on learning to leave a grown man to his own decisions rather than manipulating or nagging him.

The only decision in his life you need to be making is if you want to continue being in it. You always have the choice to leave him if you think he's going down a road that you go with him on.

When did you start getting healthy and active?

So because you decided you're ready, he should?

I promise you will face way bigger trials in this life as partners; if this one is giving you trouble, you should just break up now. Wait until one of you has cancer, or becomes a paraplegic, or you have a disabled baby, or you both lose your jobs at the same time... then your complaint about his not wanting to exercise with you will seem... what's the word? Ridiculous.

Long term, he's not going to change. And if he does, he'll only get worse.
The longer you stay with him the more you'll resent him.
Get yourself a new boyfriend. One that has traits and goals more in line with yours.

When did you start getting healthy and active?

So because you decided you're ready, he should?

I promise you will face way bigger trials in this life as partners; if this one is giving you trouble, you should just break up now. Wait until one of you has cancer, or becomes a paraplegic, or you have a disabled baby, or you both lose your jobs at the same time... then your complaint about his not wanting to exercise with you will seem... what's the word? Ridiculous.

We all have problems. I am posting in the support board for support. You have no idea what I have been through in my life or let a lone the last month so who are you to judge based on a topic a posted?

Support for what? Making him go for a walk with you? You can't. We can't. No one can but him... if he doesn't want to go for a walk with you, don't worry about it. You do you; let him do him. It doesn't matter what you've been through in your life. You will go through more. Whether or not your boyfriend/partner/husband will ever join you for a walk is not so big.

When did you start getting healthy and active?

So because you decided you're ready, he should?

I promise you will face way bigger trials in this life as partners; if this one is giving you trouble, you should just break up now. Wait until one of you has cancer, or becomes a paraplegic, or you have a disabled baby, or you both lose your jobs at the same time... then your complaint about his not wanting to exercise with you will seem... what's the word? Ridiculous.

We all have problems. I am posting in the support board for support. You have no idea what I have been through in my life or let a lone the last month so who are you to judge based on a topic a posted?

so you want us to support you by telling you to keep nagging your boyfriend?

Also, and I'm trying to be very polite about this... but nobody cares about what you've been through in life. Everybody has baggage. You opened the topic and got feedback. Just not the one you were hoping for.

Bring in your boyfriend and lets hear his side of the story!

When did you start getting healthy and active?

So because you decided you're ready, he should?

I promise you will face way bigger trials in this life as partners; if this one is giving you trouble, you should just break up now. Wait until one of you has cancer, or becomes a paraplegic, or you have a disabled baby, or you both lose your jobs at the same time... then your complaint about his not wanting to exercise with you will seem... what's the word? Ridiculous.

We all have problems. I am posting in the support board for support. You have no idea what I have been through in my life or let a lone the last month so who are you to judge based on a topic a posted?

Support for what? Making him go for a walk with you? You can't. We can't. No one can but him... if he doesn't want to go for a walk with you, don't worry about it. You do you; let him do him. It doesn't matter what you've been through in your life. You will go through more. Whether or not your boyfriend/partner/husband will ever join you for a walk is not so big.

You are reading too much into one thing I mentioned...the walk was an example. when you have been with someone for almost 5 years who you love so much of course you are going to want to TRY and help them. Almost everyone here has said to just leave him...I pray to god that nothing happens to his health.

Listen, I'm not trying to offend you. I can see you're on edge about this. I assume (hope?) your boyfriends is (nearly) as young as you are. So if that's true, his health will be okay. You guys are barely cracking a dent in your adult years. It's not like heart disease is imminent here because he's sedentary. But the point I was trying to make earlier, is that even if it is... even if his health is failing... there's nothing you can do to change his readiness.

I see you've lost 7kg. That's awesome! When did you start? How long between when you first thought about it or tried to lose a few pounds or when you considered increasing your activity until now? Fitness is something we get into at our own pace. We cannot force anyone into our mold. In fact, if you try, it will probably have the opposite effect. If someone had consistently nagged you to get off your butt before you started this "journey" how would you have felt? Judged? Annoyed?

You asked for some advice and I'm giving mine. But it's late; so I'm done here.

All the best to you. I, too, will pray for your boyfriends health this evening.