She's hotter than me?

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kasimarie29
kasimarie29 Posts: 128 Member
in Motivation and Support
Okay, so, my boyfriend has all these little crushes on these women on tv. We've been together for just about forever so it doesn't really bother me. What does bother me is hearing "sorry, but she's the hottest woman in the world." No girl wants to hear that right? Well, should I just let it roll off my back and let it be motivation to get in shape? Cuz I know I would be just as pretty as some of these women if I would just lose some weight. I have a nice face, and a nice shape(not trying to be stuck up by no means), but I'm just overweight... I carry my weight well but i have a lil too much of it. if I lose like 50 lbs, I feel like he wouldn't keep saying that to me. Maybe he's just trying to motivate me??

By the way, I have been having a tad bit of trouble staying on my new healthy life style change here lately. If you'd like to add me and help out with that, feel free :)
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Replies

  • DesireeNL
    DesireeNL Posts: 220 Member
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    He's probably still going to say that, no matter what size you are. Maybe you could comment on all the hot guys you are seeing ;-)

    That said, don't lose weight just to look good for him, because you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Lose weight for yourself and your health, and don't expect him to change.
  • kasimarie29
    kasimarie29 Posts: 128 Member
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    the only reason i felt that way is cuz he never did that when i was skinny and pretty much really hot lol XD

    the only problem is, I see a lot of hot guys yes, but I never think anyone is hotter than him :(

    and I'm definitely doing it for myself, but showing him up, showing him that i can is just a plus!
  • witmer1
    witmer1 Posts: 128 Member
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    Sometimes people just say s**t to say s**t and don't think of how it affects others. Don't let it get to you. People often admire what they can never have.

    Your weight loss should be for you. Not anyone else. Do what makes you happy. Be how you want to be.

    I wish you nothing but success. You got this. Add me if you care to.
  • fromtheghetto
    fromtheghetto Posts: 21
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    your hot...beautiful eyes smile...your b/f is blind
  • Eastern_Echo23
    Eastern_Echo23 Posts: 198 Member
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    don't ever try to be anyone but who you are... Girls on Tv are so pumped full of plastic and makeup that they aren't technically human beings anymore. Im sure he is going to have his people that he likes as im sure you have a male actor or singer you probably like. Just know that beauty comes within and be yourself.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    You're 19. You'll learn fast.

    Seriously, if it bothers you, tell him he doesn't need to keep reminding you that this person is 'hot' - doesn't need to be repeated and he's with YOU, not her. It definitely shouldn't be motivation to pit yourself against a celebrity.
  • kasimarie29
    kasimarie29 Posts: 128 Member
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    your hot...beautiful eyes smile...your b/f is blind

    haha why thank you :)
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
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    There will always be someone hotter, fitter, younger, prettier, smarter...that's life! Just sort out your weight and look the best version of yourself that you can, that's all you can control. 50lbs overweight is substantial and if this is all gained while you were with him he probably is feeling a bit shortchanged. I think that's natural. *Unless you've just had his baby*

    You can control who you date though...I don't mind a man looking, everyone looks but there's no need to say it all the time is there? It's just a bit cheeky for my liking.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I can see how that would be hurtful, but I wonder if it's just a flippant comment on his part and he isn't really meaning to say it how it sounds.

    We all make these exaggerated, absolute statements sometimes even when we know they aren't actually true. I'm sure to him you really are the most beautiful woman in the world, but he's reacting in the moment to some visual stimulation and not thinking about the words coming out of his mouth.
  • nathalier71
    nathalier71 Posts: 570 Member
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    My husband would never say that to me - he respects me too much for that! He might think it but to say it aloud is just plain wrong.

    You can't do this for him. You must do it for yourself - that's the only way to be successful...
  • kasimarie29
    kasimarie29 Posts: 128 Member
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    well i know he still thinks i'm beautiful. I mean he tells me all the time that though there are skinnier maybe a tad prettier women he enjoys to look at, that he loves me and I'm still beautiful and he finds me attractive. He really doesn't mean it to hurt me i know that. But I'm also bipolar to some extent and I can't always control my emotions
  • georgiapeach1965
    georgiapeach1965 Posts: 27
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    My personal opinion is that it is completely disrespectful to constantly say things like that in the presence of your SO. I think everyone probably sees someone who is attractive now and then, but to talk about it like that, well, I wouldn't put up with it, frankly. It can be very hurtful and doing it back to him is just a tit-for-tat and just causes more underlying hurt and resentment between both of you. I would talk honestly with him about it and find out what's really driving that. Maybe he is so comfortable with you, he doesn't even realize what he's doing, but I would definitely make him aware of how it makes you feel. If he doesn't stop after that, I'd have to look at it a little harder and deeper and decide if I want to be with someone who is so disrespectful of my feelings because if you find he doesn't really care about something seemingly small, then how do you know he's not going to (or already is) disrespect you in other matters that may be more significant? Best of luck and as other posters have mentioned, take care of you FIRST and be healthy for YOU, not for anyone else. :flowerforyou:
  • inotnew
    inotnew Posts: 218 Member
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    my first impression of your post is that I think your BF is immature. He needs to appreciate you and not spout off anything that comes to mind.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    Just break up.
  • kasimarie29
    kasimarie29 Posts: 128 Member
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    well definitely not gonna break up thats for sure. We've been together for almost 5 years, and neither of us have done anything more than said hurtful things to eachother and I'm sure all couples do that. He's not meaning to hurt me I know that because he apologizes after I tell him it hurts me. I think west coast is right, that he's so comfortable with me that he doesn't notice that he's hurt me.

    And another thing I forgot to mention, is that I find other girls very attractive myself and he knows this. So it also could be that since I find women sexually attractive just as men do, he may feel more comfortable saying that to me... I mean, it had never hurt my feelings until I got overweight... It could just be my low self estteeem
  • FrankiesSaysRelax
    FrankiesSaysRelax Posts: 403 Member
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    well definitely not gonna break up thats for sure. We've been together for almost 5 years, and neither of us have done anything more than said hurtful things to eachother and I'm sure all couples do that. He's not meaning to hurt me I know that because he apologizes after I tell him it hurts me. I think west coast is right, that he's so comfortable with me that he doesn't notice that he's hurt me.

    And another thing I forgot to mention, is that I find other girls very attractive myself and he knows this. So it also could be that since I find women sexually attractive just as men do, he may feel more comfortable saying that to me... I mean, it had never hurt my feelings until I got overweight... It could just be my low self estteeem

    If you want to rationalize your BF being disrespectful to you, then why bother posting at all? What he is doing is disrespectful. Period. Either you don't care and allow it, or you speak up and tell him it bothers you/makes you insecure/hurts your feelings. If he doesn't stop.. that should be a sign to you.
  • kasimarie29
    kasimarie29 Posts: 128 Member
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    There's no point in being rude. I post to rant. I post to get advice. I post to make friends. I don't post to be mean, or have people be mean to me.
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
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    I don't think I understand the question. Are you asking if your boyfriend will stop pointing out hot chicks on tv if you lose 50 lbs? If so, probably not.
  • RunningForeverMama
    RunningForeverMama Posts: 261 Member
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    There will always be someone hotter, fitter, younger, prettier, smarter...that's life! Just sort out your weight and look the best version of yourself that you can, that's all you can control. 50lbs overweight is substantial and if this is all gained while you were with him he probably is feeling a bit shortchanged. I think that's natural. *Unless you've just had his baby*

    You can control who you date though...I don't mind a man looking, everyone looks but there's no need to say it all the time is there? It's just a bit cheeky for my liking.

    ^^^ This. Even if you were the hottest girl in the world, some guy would disagree. You just have to be the best you possible and don't compete with other women. Anytime a woman competes with another she demeans herself.
  • mperrott2205
    mperrott2205 Posts: 737 Member
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    The only woman on TV I have a crush on is Holly Willoughby. By God I would do anything for her, and my girl friend knows this. However, she feels the same way about Jonny Depp and Ryan Reynolds which I can completely understand.

    It's just people on tv. I wouldn't get so worked up over it. IF he said something like: "Your sister is the hottest girl in the world" then I'd be significantly more concerned.

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