Creepy guy at the Gym

My definition of creepy is crossing boundaries, either explicitly stated ones, such as if you ask him to leave you alone and he doesn't, or generally understood social boundaries, such as approaching a stranger and making a sexual comment. If all he did was introduce himself, I don't think that's creepy. If him using the machine next to you makes you uncomfortable, move to a different one. If he then follows you, then he's starting to cross the line into creepy.

(Edit was to fix a typo)

I need to get on the good side of the God. I know what to do. I shouldn’t, but I must. Its for the greater glory of my weight. I must conquer the creepy bro at the gym.

We know this bro. He’s the one that spends 2 hours doing nothing but checking out the girls and working his upper body. And anytime a girl makes the mistake of looking in his general direction, he walks up to them. Creeping them. I must make the sacrifice of creeping the creeper. It must be done. When he walks up to the girl, I grab the weights he’s been lifting and sweating over and start licking them and start rubbing his Olympic bar between my thighs and making eye contact with him. I do it until he leaves the poor girl alone. Small sacrifice to make the weigh scale God happy.

Now this was taken from one of taunto's threads...creep the creeper I say FTW.

It honestly doesn't sound like this guy was creepy at all. To me, it sounds like you are extremely self conscious and can't handle someone bothering to look in your direction. In that case, run outside in the rain.

I have to agree with this. OP...you commented that everyone 'turned their head' when he started talking to you? Maybe everyone else is creepy too if they have to turn their heads whenever people are talking in the gym or approach someone else.

OK I've read about 10 responses, and I'm bored already. Are you a little girl? Or are you a grown woman? Because if it's the latter, you don;t need to bring a friend or boyfriend for "protection." Just tell the guy you're there to work out and don't want any socializing. Period. If he creeps next to you, move to another treadmill. If he continues, then you've got a true creeper. Then you talk to management. But right now, he's a friendly guy. This gym could possibly be one of these with a rep for hook ups. Make it clear you're not there for that, and the dude will go away.

Honestly doesn't sound like he's crossed the "creepy" threshold just yet. Next time he takes the treadmill next to you move. He might get the hint just from that.

Yeah, this.

You may want to consider that in fact he is just being friendly.

Not every man expects he will have sex with every single woman he talks to during his day. I know, its hard to believe but true.

Telling management would be a spineless, douche-bag move.

Part of me sympathizes with you, and the male part of me is slightly annoyed that members of the opposite sex paying attention to you is a "problem" at the gym. Must be nice....

"You know this one time this woman at the gym kept looking at me and tried talking to me. What a creeper." It sounds just weird. Double standards man. Double standards.

I think staring at her all the time and constantly taking the treadmill next to her has crossed the line to creepy. She hasn't expressed any interest in him, yet he keeps doing those things.

That isn't "paying attention" to her. That's borderline stalking. It IS creepy.

Imagine yourself in this situation with a woman. She's not particularly attractive to you and you have been polite but cold, yet she follows you everywhere and stares at you constantly. You'd be flattered by that?

Ask him in front of everyone to please stop staring at you it is making your workouts not nice. Be sure to say BEFORE you ask him this that you know he is going to deny that he has been staring at you but you want to ask this of him anyway. If he insists on denying it then don't bother calling him a liar but say ok whatever but please stop staring at me I have as much right to be here as anyone else. Please don't make me have to make a formal complaint about intimidation.

Having been a woman that men stared at constantly up until a few years ago, I had to deal with this **** from the age of 11 to the age of early 40's. I'm so glad to be not stared at anymore it was super annoying and oh so NOT FLATTERING at all.

Don't be afraid to look like you are not a nice person, you have the right to work out without feeling uncomfortable.

Creepy is when someone takes his breaks while you are working out, looking down your top while squating and deadlifting, then looking at your *kitten* in the mirror at the same time

That's the definition of creepy, then? Nothing else can be creepy?

Women need to trust their instincts. If they're feeling creeped, they're probably being creeped. I suspect there would be fewer sexual assaults if women trusted their instincts and stopped worrying about being polite to men who can't take a hint.

It sounds like you're extremely self conscious. "Everyone" turned their head? really now?

A man talking to a woman he doesn't know about an activity she was specifically doing is considered creepy now? Its not like he asked you what you wore in bed last night.

I suspect there would be fewer sexual assaults if women trusted their instincts and stopped worrying about being polite to men who can't take a hint.

No. There would be fewer sexual assaults if sexual assaulters quit sexually assaulting.

*sigh*

Yes, the way to not be a victim is to expect that by telling bad people not to do bad things will stop them from donig bad things.

As I'm walking down a dark alley alone one night and a rapist jumps out, I'll just say, "Hey, don't do that. It's mean." I'm sure that will work.

A lot of pretty harsh responses to this post! OK, I think the OP is overreacting. Talking to someone about an obvious interest is not creepy per se. However, it is difficult for the OP (who, for whatever reason, does NOT want to talk to this man, as is her right) to just tell him so - there is a wealth of social pressure brought to bear on women to 'be nice' - that is, to be passive, receptive, and accomodating. Even one of the comments above suggests that she 'entertain his conversation' when she has made it clear she does not want to - would you tell a man he has to 'entertain the conversation' of some bore who starts talking to him at the gym? Or is it only women who have to diplomatically negotiate unwanted approaches from men so as not the hurt their feelings?

It is difficult to fight all that conditioning and just turn around and say "I'm sorry, but I don't want to talk to you, please don't talk to me again", or to ostentatiously move machines when he come over to her. It is hard to do this, as the guy and other people will think you are "a *****", or God forbid, "full of yourself" - something we have trained out of us from little girls upwards, never to be 'vain' or arrogant (read, have a good opinion of ourselves). To say that you're 'not interested' implies that you think that they Are interested - in you! Arrogant! Full of yourself! *****!

Personally, I think the gym is a weird place to approach a stranger. They're there to work out, not to make friends or dispense advice - that's what the trainers are paid to do. I once had someone approach me in a swimming pool(!) at university; after a circuitous, awkward, floating, nearly naked conversation, he asks for a date - I politely refused and asked him to let me get on with my swim. This guy ended up mildly stalking me for the rest of my time at university - coming to the pub I worked in every week, getting drunk and seizing my hand across the bar and going on and on about how much he liked me, trying to give me mix CDs and gifts, getting offended and weepy when I refused to let him buy me drinks (didn't want to encourage him you see).

It's not vanity or paranoia that makes women go automatically on the defensive; it's not wanting to give, or be seen to have given, 'mixed messages' - think of that obnoxious Blurred Lines song. A concerning number of men think that they 'know you want it' when actually you're just being polite; and then when you are forced to make it explicit that you do not, you either get abuse and denials - "like I'd touch you with a bargepole, you ugly *****" - or sulking because you 'led him on' (i.e. gave him the time of day).

Personally, these days, I make it clear, polite and explicit from the outset - "I'm sorry, I'm busy"; "I'm sorry, I don't want to talk to you / get a drink with you / go out with you"; I would never say "I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend" (even though I do) because to some men, this is seen as a 'challenge' rather than an insurmountable obstacle.