Guys opinion: Girls who don't drink

I don't think I would have noticed whether a friend was or wasn't drinking. I was never a big drinker even in my early twenties. I probably drink more now than before. I am often the non-drinking friend. I've also dabbled in the 'passed-out0by-the-bonfire' friend. It never occurred to me to be one way or the other lol. It's bizarre that your friends care!

You don't need to drink. Trust me the only time I drink something is when its a Saturday and I am not alone at home...

Or I am going to bed.

I think you need new friends.

I can't imagine why any man would care if you decided not to drink unless they have an agenda. While I have done my share of drinking I almost always go water/soda because it is not the lifestyle I want. Plus, i HATE cabs! I want to safely drive myself home!

I can tell you this much: probably 70-80% of ER visits are directly or indirectly related to alcohol -- far more than all drugs plus cigarettes combined. This is true in the Chicago ERs where I've worked (I'm an ER RN, but I've been working as pre-surgical RN the last year).

From falls, to MVCs (motor vehicle collisions), to battery (fights) related to drunken fighting, to domestic violence, to stabbings, shootings, and accidents around the house (falls from ladders while painting, putting a hand in a lawnmower but forgetting to turn off/unplug first, falls from balconies/porches/rooftop decks) - alcohol is a factor in all of these more often than it is not. Drunk people are easier to rob, more likely to get upset, more likely to not be paying close attention to things.

Drunk people lose coordination more easily and trip or fall from porches/balconies/rooftop decks more easily than sober people. Drunk people shouldn't drive, but they do. Alcohol's inhibition lowering effects mean people lose tempers more easily and take offense more easily, leading to more conflicts, fights, and violence. Drunk people don't watch their kids as well, don't paint windows as well, don't stay on ladders as well, and forget to turn machinery off before trying to fix it...

In your age group, everyone is trying to drink because in many states, the legal age to drink is 21, so it's a bigger deal to go out drinking when you're not actually legal to do so. Partying hard while they can, they enjoy "getting away with it."

Points to consider: 1) after they're all of legal age to drink, buying drinks will be less of a big deal; 2) as they mature, some will realize they don't like drinking that much, and were only doing it "because everyone else is"; 3) some will fall down into the bottom of a bottle and stay there the rest of their lives; 4) as your friends grow older, they will metabolize alcohol (and everything else) less efficiently, they'll develop more hangovers, and they'll get "beer bellies" -- which are nature's disincentives to drinking excessively!

Most people who hassle their sober friends are insecure and deep down they know they are drinking too much -- but if you drink with them, they can ignore that little voice telling them to stop or cut back. But when you don't drink with them, that little voice they don't want to hear gets louder. They drown it out by hassling you, instead of listening to it.

Don't let them hassle you. Put your foot down, privately, with all your friends individually and demand they respect your right to not drink and stop hassling you. Under those circumstances (not a group confrontation! not recommended), If they don't stop, find new friends.

If you have friends who wont support that, or use peer pressure on you then they aren't friends worth having. Everybody has the freedom to choose and it shouldn't matter. If they don't appreciate your choices, find friends who will. Any guy or girlfriend who makes it a big deal should not be worth your time.

Do what you want, as long as you're not one of those holier-than-thou people who look down on people who do enjoy drinking alcohol.

Also... I'm a firm believer anyone who tries to buy someone a drink at a bar after 10 pm is a douche.

... what?

i would assume they are pretty boring. its one thing if they dont feel the need to get drunk but if they cant enjoy a great wine with dinner...

I wasn't a drinker at your age either. I went through all that in high school. In college I went to parties and I danced the most and enjoyed myself. I didn't need alcohol to loosen up. I don't think anyone even knew if I was drinking or not. I seriously did not need it. I'm wild enough without it. They probably thought I was drinking. Actually, my husband told me years later that the guys had a nickname for me. It was nymph, and they said it was because I got wild at parties. But, it wasn't from drinking. That's just how I am at a party. Anyway, my husband is a non-drinker, so obviously he didn't care. And now I'm married to the man of my dreams and he's a successful physicist and I'm a dancer. So, yeah, there is more to life than drinking. I look at family members now that have had their lives torn apart by addiction, so there can be a downside to the heavy drinking life. Now, I'm 35 and people think I'm 18. There are perks to good health. I don't think there should be judgment from either direction. It's a personal choice. I just think that if someone thinks it's boring to not drink, they must be a pretty boring person to think that (because they are probably basing it on their own experience of themselves when they are sober). Anyway, they may not be as fun drinking as they think they are (alcohol tends to give people a false sense of confidence).

i would assume they are pretty boring. its one thing if they dont feel the need to get drunk but if they cant enjoy a great wine with dinner...

I know right! I said the same thing in that AA meeting and they looked at me like I was an ahole!

AA ( assuming you were serious about attending ) has some interesting ideas.
While I believe it's true that some people can't control themselves to have just one drink, many can.
My drinking was out of control as a teenager and young adult.
How I didn't get a DUI or kill someone is only by the grace of God.
I quit completely for six years when I was pregnant and my kids were little.
Now I can literally have one drink or even a sip of hubby's beer and walk away.
I can go for months with no alcohol.
I can take it or leave it.
My point is that AA gives alcohol all the power and control.
Not for me.
I'm not going to be afraid of a drink because I'm in control.

But OP, I think the best guys and friends would be the ones who consider your intellect and wit more important than your consumption abilities

Edit: for stupid typos from auto-correct :grumble: