"Don't lose any more weight!"

lornathommo
lornathommo Posts: 16
in Goal: Maintaining Weight
Why do people think its okay to say this? People would never have turned and said to me "please don't gain any more weight" but the number of friends, family members and patients that say "please dont lose any more weight" to me is astonishing! I'm not even skinny!! I'm a nice healthy 142-145 at 5'4 and at the top end of a 'healthy BMI'. I dunno.....it just annoys me! Anybody else encountering this or criticisms for losing?!
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Replies

  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    There are several threads on this. You know, I am at the point where I just don't respond to that comment. And I never comment on someone's weight. If I notice someone's last weight, I just say "You are looking great, you look better ever time I see you". I truely believe every one is taking care of themselves at any one point in time the best they can with what they have and if they want to change , it's their decision and if they don't want to change, it's their decision....not mine!
  • rosemaryhon
    rosemaryhon Posts: 507 Member
    No, can't say I've had anyone say it to *me*, but oh my, reading your complaint I realize I have said it to others now and than. I'm gonna quit saying that kind of stuff! Thanks for the head's up :)
  • Hannah_Hopes
    Hannah_Hopes Posts: 273 Member
    I just take the non of their business approach, a lot of people are unaware of what is a healthy weight for other people so they tend to think that if they've lost a lot of weight its enough and they have no more to lose, so long as you're in a healthy range just ignore it :)
  • Phrick
    Phrick Posts: 2,765 Member
    I think I'm going to take the tack: "OK I won't if you won't gain any more either!" next time. OK not really but man would it be satisfying :laugh:
  • LTGPSA
    LTGPSA Posts: 633 Member
    I'm not a fan of receiving that remark either.
  • plantgrrl
    plantgrrl Posts: 436 Member
    Yes. When I was at where you are at now (high "normal" BMI). A LOT of my friends and family would say, "you look great, you don't need to lose anymore!" Right...

    My sister was the worst, she keep acting like I had an eating disorder (I was on weight watchers and was following the plan). When I would take my mom for walks once a week--she would act like I had anorexia and I was trying to make my mom anorexic (all the women in my family have weight issues; mom wanted someone to walk with her). (She has actually told people that I *am* or *was* anorexic.) So glad I live 3000 miles from her now--otherwise I might have throttled her to death.
  • Going4Lean
    Going4Lean Posts: 1,078 Member
    Why do people think its okay to say this? People would never have turned and said to me "please don't gain any more weight" but the number of friends, family members and patients that say "please dont lose any more weight" to me is astonishing! I'm not even skinny!! I'm a nice healthy 142-145 at 5'4 and at the top end of a 'healthy BMI'. I dunno.....it just annoys me! Anybody else encountering this or criticisms for losing?!

    I hear that from my mother alot. I always tell her i am not trying to lose any more weight just change my boy shape, but it doesn't help she keeps saying it.
  • Tessyloowhoo
    Tessyloowhoo Posts: 504
    I never welcome unsolicited opinions about my body... I usually say "My body... My rules"
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  • Kalee34
    Kalee34 Posts: 674 Member
    I get that all the time. It is really annoying. And how are you supposed to respond to it?
  • NovemberJune
    NovemberJune Posts: 2,525 Member
    Yes people started saying stuff like that to me while I was still overweight.
  • pandorakick
    pandorakick Posts: 901 Member
    I've heard that particular remark from my mom several times. I just tell her that everything is going according plan. Mothers are always going to be concerned :wink:
  • JSTworkinout
    JSTworkinout Posts: 20 Member
    This is the same thing i have been going through im an over eater and now im doing it again it is messing with my mental well being and im not sure how to handle it i have now gained over 7lbs lost 3 gained 4 lost 2 gained 6 im going nuts mentally not sure what to do
  • toscarthearmada
    toscarthearmada Posts: 382 Member
    People say this to me all the time and I can honestly say it has never been out of concern. I've decided on a few reasons why....

    1. This is their way of complementing you. They are actually really impressed with your weight loss and want you to know that you look fantastic just the way you are.

    2. You're a lot smaller/skinner than you think. At 5'7 and 155 pounds, I still could lose a few pounds. However, when I looked at a photo of myself the other day I was so tall and skinny, it startled me. So I could understand why telling someone I want to lose an additional 10 pounds would be like..."whyyyyy?"

    3. It's their way of acknowledging your weight loss. Believe it or not, talking about weight is very awkward for people. They want to give you praise for it, but sometimes just don't know how.

    4. I usually get this compliment when I tell people how much I lost. Which makes me believe they don't understand how much 1 pound of fat looks like. When I say 101 pounds, some people could imagine a 101 pound child. That's a lot of weight and I understand when people say "you don't need to lose anymore." It's hard to comprehend. lol

    I think you're reading too much into it. I usually smile and appreciate the fact that someone notices my hard work.
  • proudjmmom
    proudjmmom Posts: 145 Member
    I've been getting this a lot lately, and its driving me crazy. I am 137lbs at 5'2". I want to loose another 12 lbs, giving me 125lbs. Everywhere I go, I get this stupid comment, you don't need to lose anymore weight, you will look too skinny.....I was 115lbs once upon a time, and no one ever said I was too skinny, but somehow now if I drop more weight I will be too skinny.
  • ritchiedrama
    ritchiedrama Posts: 1,304 Member
    Had it the entire time.

    I was down to 140 lbs, from 200 ish, 5'6 and i had people (my grandmother lol and my dad) telling me I'm too skinny

    low and behold.. they're overweight

    dont let anyone dictate to you, do what you wanna do and stop when youre happy.
  • lornathommo
    lornathommo Posts: 16
    People say this to me all the time and I can honestly say it's never been out of concern. I've decided on a few reasons why....

    1. This is their way of complementing you. They are actually really impressed with your weight loss and want you to know that you look fantastic just the way you are.

    2. You're a lot smaller/skinner than you think. At 5'7 and 155 pounds, I still could lose a few pounds. However, when I looked at a photo of myself the other day I was so tall and skinny, it startled me. So I could understand why telling someone I want to lose an additional 10 pounds would be like..."whyyyyy?"

    3. It's their way of acknowledging your weight loss. Believe it or not, talking about weight is very awkward for people. They want to give you praise for it, but sometimes just don't know how.

    4. I usually get this compliment when I tell people how much I lost. Which makes me believe they don't understand how much 1 pound of fat looks like. When I say 101 pounds, some people could imagine a 101 pound child. That's a lot of weight and I understand when people say "you don't need to lose anymore." It's hard to comprehend. lol

    I think you're reading too much into it. I usually smile and appreciate the fact that someone notices my hard work.

    You're probably right......I think it's just I get more comments on my weight now than I did when I was obese...not just compliments (eg. Where have your boobs gone?). But maybe you're right. It's a compliment more than anything. I don't want to lose any more weight. I'd like to lose some belly fat but you can't target fat loss and my shoulders/chest just keep getting smaller and smaller!
  • CipherZero
    CipherZero Posts: 1,418 Member
    "You're losing weight too fast" (one pound a week average)
    "You've lost too much weight" (at 32 lbs overweight and 30% bodyfat)
    "You look gaunt" (see above)
    "PLEASE stop losing weight!" (at 25 lbs overweight and 28% bodyfat)
    "You're eating too much meat" (Building muscle mass requires it)
    "Protein powder is dangerous" (see the contradiction?)

    I nod and tell my wife "Okay" and keep doing what I'm doing, because I've done the research and my blood work tells a different story than her "momscience."
  • Nikachelle
    Nikachelle Posts: 66 Member
    It's their own insecurities acting up is all. They're trying to cover for the fact that they feel uncomfortable with their own weight.
  • lornathommo
    lornathommo Posts: 16
    I've been getting this a lot lately, and its driving me crazy. I am 137lbs at 5'2". I want to loose another 12 lbs, giving me 125lbs. Everywhere I go, I get this stupid comment, you don't need to lose anymore weight, you will look too skinny.....I was 115lbs once upon a time, and no one ever said I was too skinny, but somehow now if I drop more weight I will be too skinny.

    Good point! I've been slimmer than I am now and was never told I was too thin. I guess it's the comparison more than anything.
  • Pearliture
    Pearliture Posts: 24
    All day everyday!!! Lol!! Although, i feel i want to lose at least 30 more pounds to reach a goal of being 100 pounds down from my day of surgery weight. A lot of people tell me don't lose anymore. So now instead of having to listen to their disapproval I say I won't I just have to work on toning up this new body. Which isn't being dishonest with them or myself, just adding a different prespective for them to look at it. Keep up the great work. Hugs
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I wonder if I should feel insulted that no one has said this to me. :ohwell:

    But seriously, I think "Don't lose any more weight," translates to, "Damn, you look fantastic!"

    Would you rather hear, "Yeah, you have a lot more to go?"
  • JSTworkinout
    JSTworkinout Posts: 20 Member
    I do have one friend that has been mostly on my side positively she says that they are all jealous but im having a hard time getting that in my head. The only thing is she severely has a eating disorder so i don't want to go with what she says all that much
  • Pearliture
    Pearliture Posts: 24
    Great advice!!
  • JSTworkinout
    JSTworkinout Posts: 20 Member
    I like this approach im going to have to use that translation for sure. I need to get mentally back on track
  • Jestinia
    Jestinia Posts: 1,153 Member
    I think I'm going to take the tack: "OK I won't if you won't gain any more either!" next time. OK not really but man would it be satisfying :laugh:

    :laugh: I'm really using this next time.
  • benchsquad65
    benchsquad65 Posts: 147 Member
    Why do people think its okay to say this? People would never have turned and said to me "please don't gain any more weight" but the number of friends, family members and patients that say "please dont lose any more weight" to me is astonishing! I'm not even skinny!! I'm a nice healthy 142-145 at 5'4 and at the top end of a 'healthy BMI'. I dunno.....it just annoys me! Anybody else encountering this or criticisms for losing?!

    People tend to be jealous of people who are successful and discourage them. Same happens to me. If you want to burn more fat off so you can have washboard abs, go for it. People are discouraging you because they're too lazy to get off and workout themselves.

    When I was 250 pounds, I actually had people tell me that I "wasn't fat"- and that I didn't actually even need to lose weight. Just goes to show you that society is getting SO fat that being over 80 pounds overweight isn't even frowned upon anymore. Compare that to the 80's when my dad was playing football when 200 pound lineman were considered "fat."
  • lornathommo
    lornathommo Posts: 16
    I wonder if I should feel insulted that no one has said this to me. :ohwell:

    But seriously, I think "Don't lose any more weight," translates to, "Damn, you look fantastic!"

    Would you rather hear, "Yeah, you have a lot more to go?"

    Well I'm talking about the random comments. The ones when were not even discussing my weight/body/diet. But I get your point!!!
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member
    Not in maintenance YET (13 lbs to go) and I haven't had these comments, but I think 9 times out of 10, it's meant as a compliment. The other 1 time it is more about THEM than YOU. People with normal BMIs are abnormal in today's society. It's almost unusual to see someone who is a healthy weight.
    My goal weight is at the top of my range (I am also 5'4). When I was there 20 years ago and trying to lose a little more, people looked at me like I was crazy and I got the "why are you still trying to lose?" comments. :)
  • ChristinaR720
    ChristinaR720 Posts: 1,186
    I think it's important to give the people in your life time to adjust to the "new" you. I don't know your story, but I carried around 40+ extra pounds for 10 years, so a number of people in my life have only known me as fat. I find that it's often difficult for me to wrap my head around the weight loss, so I certainly can't expect it to happen overnight for my family and friends.
  • chezjuan
    chezjuan Posts: 747 Member
    Why do people think its okay to say this? People would never have turned and said to me "please don't gain any more weight" but the number of friends, family members and patients that say "please dont lose any more weight" to me is astonishing! I'm not even skinny!! I'm a nice healthy 142-145 at 5'4 and at the top end of a 'healthy BMI'. I dunno.....it just annoys me! Anybody else encountering this or criticisms for losing?!

    In my case, I get this alot from people who didn't know me when I was younger... many of the people who say this to me met me when I weighed about 35 lbs more than I do now, and I was in that neighborhood for years. Then I gained more because I got less active, but slowly over several years. I've asked my wife to stop bugging me about my weight - I am happy where I am and am working on maintenance, but she kept bugging me about being thin (when I met her I was about 50 lbs heavier than I am now). For other people, I smile and nod and just keep on with what I do.

    When I was getting near 250 lbs, I actually did have people say "please don't gain any more weight" on many occasions. These were family and close friends, though. The funny thing is that many of them are the ones who are now saying I am too thin.

    ETA: I was at a carnival the other day and did a "guess your weight" game. I won, because the carnie guessed I weighed 160, and I am 175. In that light, I can maybe see why people may say I am too thin... if I truly look 15 lbs. lighter than I weigh.

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