"Don't lose any more weight!"

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  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,248 Member
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    I wonder if I should feel insulted that no one has said this to me. :ohwell:

    But seriously, I think "Don't lose any more weight," translates to, "Damn, you look fantastic!"

    Would you rather hear, "Yeah, you have a lot more to go?"
  • JSTworkinout
    JSTworkinout Posts: 20 Member
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    I do have one friend that has been mostly on my side positively she says that they are all jealous but im having a hard time getting that in my head. The only thing is she severely has a eating disorder so i don't want to go with what she says all that much
  • Pearliture
    Pearliture Posts: 24
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    Great advice!!
  • JSTworkinout
    JSTworkinout Posts: 20 Member
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    I like this approach im going to have to use that translation for sure. I need to get mentally back on track
  • Jestinia
    Jestinia Posts: 1,154 Member
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    I think I'm going to take the tack: "OK I won't if you won't gain any more either!" next time. OK not really but man would it be satisfying :laugh:

    :laugh: I'm really using this next time.
  • benchsquad65
    benchsquad65 Posts: 147 Member
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    Why do people think its okay to say this? People would never have turned and said to me "please don't gain any more weight" but the number of friends, family members and patients that say "please dont lose any more weight" to me is astonishing! I'm not even skinny!! I'm a nice healthy 142-145 at 5'4 and at the top end of a 'healthy BMI'. I dunno.....it just annoys me! Anybody else encountering this or criticisms for losing?!

    People tend to be jealous of people who are successful and discourage them. Same happens to me. If you want to burn more fat off so you can have washboard abs, go for it. People are discouraging you because they're too lazy to get off and workout themselves.

    When I was 250 pounds, I actually had people tell me that I "wasn't fat"- and that I didn't actually even need to lose weight. Just goes to show you that society is getting SO fat that being over 80 pounds overweight isn't even frowned upon anymore. Compare that to the 80's when my dad was playing football when 200 pound lineman were considered "fat."
  • lornathommo
    lornathommo Posts: 16
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    I wonder if I should feel insulted that no one has said this to me. :ohwell:

    But seriously, I think "Don't lose any more weight," translates to, "Damn, you look fantastic!"

    Would you rather hear, "Yeah, you have a lot more to go?"

    Well I'm talking about the random comments. The ones when were not even discussing my weight/body/diet. But I get your point!!!
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member
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    Not in maintenance YET (13 lbs to go) and I haven't had these comments, but I think 9 times out of 10, it's meant as a compliment. The other 1 time it is more about THEM than YOU. People with normal BMIs are abnormal in today's society. It's almost unusual to see someone who is a healthy weight.
    My goal weight is at the top of my range (I am also 5'4). When I was there 20 years ago and trying to lose a little more, people looked at me like I was crazy and I got the "why are you still trying to lose?" comments. :)
  • ChristinaR720
    ChristinaR720 Posts: 1,186
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    I think it's important to give the people in your life time to adjust to the "new" you. I don't know your story, but I carried around 40+ extra pounds for 10 years, so a number of people in my life have only known me as fat. I find that it's often difficult for me to wrap my head around the weight loss, so I certainly can't expect it to happen overnight for my family and friends.
  • chezjuan
    chezjuan Posts: 747 Member
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    Why do people think its okay to say this? People would never have turned and said to me "please don't gain any more weight" but the number of friends, family members and patients that say "please dont lose any more weight" to me is astonishing! I'm not even skinny!! I'm a nice healthy 142-145 at 5'4 and at the top end of a 'healthy BMI'. I dunno.....it just annoys me! Anybody else encountering this or criticisms for losing?!

    In my case, I get this alot from people who didn't know me when I was younger... many of the people who say this to me met me when I weighed about 35 lbs more than I do now, and I was in that neighborhood for years. Then I gained more because I got less active, but slowly over several years. I've asked my wife to stop bugging me about my weight - I am happy where I am and am working on maintenance, but she kept bugging me about being thin (when I met her I was about 50 lbs heavier than I am now). For other people, I smile and nod and just keep on with what I do.

    When I was getting near 250 lbs, I actually did have people say "please don't gain any more weight" on many occasions. These were family and close friends, though. The funny thing is that many of them are the ones who are now saying I am too thin.

    ETA: I was at a carnival the other day and did a "guess your weight" game. I won, because the carnie guessed I weighed 160, and I am 175. In that light, I can maybe see why people may say I am too thin... if I truly look 15 lbs. lighter than I weigh.
  • thesophierose
    thesophierose Posts: 754 Member
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    That is forever being told to me. Lol, where were these people when I was gaining telling me to stop? Pft.
  • LynnieG85
    LynnieG85 Posts: 157 Member
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    If they're used to you being much heavier, you probably do look very different to them. They probably love you just the way you are, whether you're skinny or fat, and think you look great now. I'd take it as a compliment, but do whatever made me happy in myself :)
  • TheColorClear
    TheColorClear Posts: 7
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    They probably mean it as a compliment, but it can mess with your psyche when someone's telling you not to lose weight and you know you still have work to do :/

    My mom does that quite often actually.

    But it's my body, and I know myself better than anyone else can. Unless your personal doctor tells you not to lose anymore, than keep doing what you know is best :)
  • ttiiggzz
    ttiiggzz Posts: 154 Member
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    I just smile when people say that these days. I don't have to justify it to myself, why should I have to explain anything to anyone else?
  • pearlmorning
    pearlmorning Posts: 86 Member
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    Yes!!!! I'm 6 lbs. from my goal. I've lost 42 lbs. and suddenly I get that everyday, just when I need the most encouragement. I've done well losing and exercising, and getting my health back, but the maintenence has me a little fearful just as everyone is jumping off my support boat. I really don't need people telling me I'm too thin or enticing me with junk food. Hang in there!
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    This summer, a dear family friend, asked me "You aren't trying to lose any more weight, are you?" She said it in a loving way, because I think she was genuinely curious, and cares about me. At that point, I still hadn't hit a healthy BMI, but my response was simply "No - at this point, I'm trying to drop body fat %, but I'm not really trying to lose any more weight"

    It seemed to be an easy answer, and the answer satisfied her cares for me. I intend to use that answer any time someone else asks me.
  • lornathommo
    lornathommo Posts: 16
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    This summer, a dear family friend, asked me "You aren't trying to lose any more weight, are you?" She said it in a loving way, because I think she was genuinely curious, and cares about me. At that point, I still hadn't hit a healthy BMI, but my response was simply "No - at this point, I'm trying to drop body fat %, but I'm not really trying to lose any more weight"

    It seemed to be an easy answer, and the answer satisfied her cares for me. I intend to use that answer any time someone else asks me.

    Good answer :)
  • AmyRhubarb
    AmyRhubarb Posts: 6,890 Member
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    I've only had a few people say something - last time someone asked if I'm still losing weight I honestly replied "no, not really, just trying to lower my body fat percentage a bit more". And they usually don't know what to say to that, so it ends the conversation. :tongue:
  • Kittiegirl06
    Kittiegirl06 Posts: 12 Member
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    I actually sat and thought about that and I think it's all about how we perceive body size. I use to be 106 pounds and wore size 5 in pants. I thought that size looked normal at the time. I thought looking at people bigger than myself or bigger clothes looked really big compared to myself. I have since gained about 60 pounds and I now see things differently. Small people look REALLLLY small. And when I look at my smaller clothes or browsing smaller clothes, I find it hard to believe I was that small. It looks almost impossible. Like, it seems puny in my mind. Hard to believe that was a normal size to me at one time.
    So, maybe our own, or their own size, has a lot to do with it.
  • tomcornhole
    tomcornhole Posts: 1,084 Member
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    I get this a lot these days. But I think it's because they were used to seeing me like this (Juy 2011, 254 lbs, 36-38% BF):

    tombefore.jpg

    I dropped 70 lbs and looked like this (May 2013, 185 lbs, 16% BF):

    bodyimage20130508.jpg

    Everyone who has watched me go through this transformation told me I was too skinny. Even though I was at 185 lbs and 16% BF and at the BMI morons said I was still "overweight". I wanted to get to 10% BF. Normally, I would just ignore everyone and keep cutting but I decided to try maintenance and see how I could do at a body recomp (lose fat while adding muscle at the same time).

    This has worked OK, but it is slow going to get to 10% BF: (Aug 2013, 185 lbs, 13% BF)

    20130816frontshot.jpg

    Now, I wish I could take my shirt off anytime someone says I'm too skinny. Or deadlift 335 lbs right there.

    Tom

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