"Don't lose any more weight!"

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  • ritchiedrama
    ritchiedrama Posts: 1,304 Member
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    I get this a lot these days. But I think it's because they are used to seeing me like this (Juy 2011, 254 lbs, 36-38% BF):

    tombefore.jpg

    I dropped 70 lbs and looked like this (May 2013, 185 lbs, 16% BF):

    bodyimage20130508.jpg

    Everyone who has watched me go through this transformation told me I was too skinny. Even though I was at 185 lbs and 16% BF and at the BMI morons said I was still "overweight". I wanted to get to 10% BF. Normally, I would just ignore everyone and keep cutting but I decided to try maintenance and see how I could do at a body recomp (lose fat while adding muscle at the same time).

    This has worked OK, but it is slow going to get to 10% BF: (185 lbs, 13% BF)

    20130816frontshot.jpg

    Now, I wish I could take my shirt off anytime someone says I'm too skinny. Or deadlift 335 lbs right there.

    Tom

    Good job, has anyone ever told you, you look like Elton John? LOL
  • lornathommo
    lornathommo Posts: 16
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    Looking good Tom!!!!!
    And god yes, Elton John!
  • 1longroad
    1longroad Posts: 642 Member
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    I really hate this!! When I am at work, it is a constant source of conversation! All of my fellow employees have commented at least once that I should stop losing weight now. I am 5'1", I still need to lose 30 pounds, as I have two pounds to go before I will be out of the 'obese' bmi rating!

    People talk about me, in front of me!! Very frustrating! So, I finally said "I have to lose thirty more pounds because I don't want to be obese any longer. I want to be a normal weight.

    Then they started guessing how much I weighed. They were so far under it was pathetic. So, I told them how much I still weigh, 159.8 pounds. Then they started with the 'no ways' and where is it. :huh:

    I figured out I can't win for losing!!! That they must 'mean well' and that I can't change their minds or perceptions.

    So, I veered the conversation in the direction of the fact that in the 60's or 70's I would have been considered overweight, but that now, people think I am at the perfect weight.

    Their response was, 'that is because you are going by Obama's new BMI chart, not by real life. Wha???!!! :noway: I gave up!
  • gduncan229
    gduncan229 Posts: 11
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    I've been basically in maintenance mode since January and I hate these comments, but the good thing is I hear this at work most of the time, which I work in a liquor store. So in some cases I have the ability to just turn around and say something like "and you need to quit drinking, but you won't listen to my advice either so let's stop giving advice to each other."
  • fatfudgery
    fatfudgery Posts: 449 Member
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    People say this to me all the time and I can honestly say it has never been out of concern. I've decided on a few reasons why....

    1. This is their way of complementing you. They are actually really impressed with your weight loss and want you to know that you look fantastic just the way you are.

    2. You're a lot smaller/skinner than you think. At 5'7 and 155 pounds, I still could lose a few pounds. However, when I looked at a photo of myself the other day I was so tall and skinny, it startled me. So I could understand why telling someone I want to lose an additional 10 pounds would be like..."whyyyyy?"

    3. It's their way of acknowledging your weight loss. Believe it or not, talking about weight is very awkward for people. They want to give you praise for it, but sometimes just don't know how.

    4. I usually get this compliment when I tell people how much I lost. Which makes me believe they don't understand how much 1 pound of fat looks like. When I say 101 pounds, some people could imagine a 101 pound child. That's a lot of weight and I understand when people say "you don't need to lose anymore." It's hard to comprehend. lol

    I think you're reading too much into it. I usually smile and appreciate the fact that someone notices my hard work.

    All of this. :flowerforyou:
  • fatfudgery
    fatfudgery Posts: 449 Member
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    Good job, has anyone ever told you, you look like Elton John? LOL

    STOP WITH THE BODY SHAMING!!!

    :tongue:
  • 1longroad
    1longroad Posts: 642 Member
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    I get this a lot these days. But I think it's because they were used to seeing me like this (Juy 2011, 254 lbs, 36-38% BF):

    tombefore.jpg

    I dropped 70 lbs and looked like this (May 2013, 185 lbs, 16% BF):

    bodyimage20130508.jpg

    Everyone who has watched me go through this transformation told me I was too skinny. Even though I was at 185 lbs and 16% BF and at the BMI morons said I was still "overweight". I wanted to get to 10% BF. Normally, I would just ignore everyone and keep cutting but I decided to try maintenance and see how I could do at a body recomp (lose fat while adding muscle at the same time).

    This has worked OK, but it is slow going to get to 10% BF: (Aug 2013, 185 lbs, 13% BF)

    20130816frontshot.jpg

    Now, I wish I could take my shirt off anytime someone says I'm too skinny. Or deadlift 335 lbs right there.

    Tom

    You look awesome!!! Fantastic job!!!!
  • manhn1
    manhn1 Posts: 137 Member
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    People would never have turned and said to me "please don't gain any more weight"

    That's because fat people are ignored and treated as invisible by the public.
  • Ribbon35
    Ribbon35 Posts: 12
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    As long as you feel healthy and good keep it up!
  • DaveS_63
    DaveS_63 Posts: 50
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    People say this to me all the time and I can honestly say it has never been out of concern. I've decided on a few reasons why....

    1. This is their way of complementing you. They are actually really impressed with your weight loss and want you to know that you look fantastic just the way you are.

    2. You're a lot smaller/skinner than you think. At 5'7 and 155 pounds, I still could lose a few pounds. However, when I looked at a photo of myself the other day I was so tall and skinny, it startled me. So I could understand why telling someone I want to lose an additional 10 pounds would be like..."whyyyyy?"

    3. It's their way of acknowledging your weight loss. Believe it or not, talking about weight is very awkward for people. They want to give you praise for it, but sometimes just don't know how.

    4. I usually get this compliment when I tell people how much I lost. Which makes me believe they don't understand how much 1 pound of fat looks like. When I say 101 pounds, some people could imagine a 101 pound child. That's a lot of weight and I understand when people say "you don't need to lose anymore." It's hard to comprehend. lol

    I think you're reading too much into it. I usually smile and appreciate the fact that someone notices my hard work.


    This^^^^^! you are spot on. Most people(other than mothers) are complimenting you. I think the hardest part of this is ; what do you say back in response to that type of compliment?
  • ThriceBlessed
    ThriceBlessed Posts: 499 Member
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    I have never told anyone not to lose anymore weight, however, I have told a friend that they didn't NEED to lose anymore. This friend looked great, was in a healthy weight range, but wanted to lose 5 more pounds. She stressed about it all the time. Was very unhappy that her body "refused" to lose any more weight. She looked great. She was healthy. She had muscles that were visible, including the much coveted abs. Yet she obsessed over trying to lose 5 more pounds to match up with a number that put her at the lowest range of what was considered healthy for height, she was already below the mid range, but felt that she just HAD to be at that lowest number or she wouldn't be happy. So yeah, I told her, "Relax, you really don't NEED to lose any more. Keep eating healthy and working out and if it comes of great, if not, you look awesome anyway."
  • danamarich
    danamarich Posts: 74 Member
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    Last time I heard that I was less than sweet about it. The convo went something like:

    "OH- you're still on this health kick? You really don't want to lose anymore weight. It can't be good for you."

    "WOW! I didn't know you were my physician AND a psychic!!"

    "What? I'm not."

    "Oh good- then you don't really know what I want or what is healthy for me. Let's leave those things to medical professionals."

    *Mouths agape*

    I've also found that letting people know the physical reasons (outside of looks) to lose weight make them be quiet. Things like: running a faster mile in the next marathon, becoming a better soccer player, taking the weight off means my knees won't have so much crap to deal with, avoiding diabetes, etc.

    People are very uncomfortable when you say "I'd like to be a better athlete and avoid becoming diabetic like so many family members before me. Is that it? You don't want me to be an athlete, and you want my toes to fall off while I struggle with diabetes??"
  • jetlag
    jetlag Posts: 800 Member
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    Yes. When I was at where you are at now (high "normal" BMI). A LOT of my friends and family would say, "you look great, you don't need to lose anymore!" Right...

    My sister was the worst, she keep acting like I had an eating disorder (I was on weight watchers and was following the plan). When I would take my mom for walks once a week--she would act like I had anorexia and I was trying to make my mom anorexic (all the women in my family have weight issues; mom wanted someone to walk with her). (She has actually told people that I *am* or *was* anorexic.) So glad I live 3000 miles from her now--otherwise I might have throttled her to death.

    I'm of the opinion that mileage is the glue that holds families together. For some, 1 mile is enough. For me, 6000 see s too close sometimes.
  • StillStrugglin
    StillStrugglin Posts: 43 Member
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    It's their own insecurities acting up is all. They're trying to cover for the fact that they feel uncomfortable with their own weight.

    Agreed. I think it freaks people out when you change. They like you better when they (think they) know who you are and all about you.

    Also, OT - Nice make-up! :)
  • CipherZero
    CipherZero Posts: 1,418 Member
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    That's because MOST people are ignored and treated as invisible by the public.

    Fixed that for you. :D
  • akp4Him
    akp4Him Posts: 227
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    I think if you have been overweight for a while...once you get down to a high "normal" BMI and weight...people think that you look SO much skinnier. They fail to realize that perhaps there are pockets of resistant fat that you are trying to get rid of. When people tell me that I shouldn't lose anymore weight...I just tell them I'm not, I'm working on my body composition. That seems to be ok.
    Most of the comments aren't just off the cuff remarks. They are serious! But I know what the scale says and what I'm supposed to weigh. All they see is how well I can cover up (conceal) those last pounds that I want to lose.
  • camcd831
    camcd831 Posts: 11 Member
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    That is forever being told to me. Lol, where were these people when I was gaining telling me to stop? Pft.

    This!
  • aarar
    aarar Posts: 684 Member
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    I just got that comment the other day and if it didn't annoy me so much, it would almost be comical. I'm definitely not too thin; I'm 5'6 and 150lbs. I'm in the best physical shape of my life. I'm running a full marathon next weekend, I'm eating anywhere from 2000 up to 4000 calories a day.

    Amazing how everyone feels the need to express their concern for my physical well being when this time last year I was spiraling out of control and had gained 65lbs in under a year and a half. I was killing myself and no one said a word. I do understand it's some people's way of paying a compliment however it's still very frustrating.
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
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    People would never have turned and said to me "please don't gain any more weight"

    That's because fat people are ignored and treated as invisible by the public.

    But the majority of the population is overweight. Does that mean we're ignoring ourselves?
  • bikiniaday
    bikiniaday Posts: 42
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    Oh yeah sister, im getting this a lot! I am just a few pounds from healthy weight for my height. I hear this at work everyday. Ultimately I will be changing my goal to lose at least 15 more. I don't know why they say it. My response is usually a thank you and I say i still have a lot of work to do. We know where we should be. ;) keep up the great work!

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