"Don't lose any more weight!"
Replies
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3. It's their way of acknowledging your weight loss. Believe it or not, talking about weight is very awkward for people. They want to give you praise for it, but sometimes just don't know how.
^This
They're saying you look great and acknowledging your progress.
Saying, 'Wow! You've lost a lot of weight!' is, to some people, as rude as calling you fat to your face. Good social etiquette dictates that we do not fixate on the mistakes or flaws of others, or at least, we do not verbally acknowledge them.
Moms are a different story though. When I dropped 77 pounds, my step mom straight out asked me if I had lap band surgery. -.-; *sweatdrop*
Now, that's embarrassing! Not that there's anything wrong with weight loss surgery! Just sayin'0 -
jealousy and envy of your commitment0
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I take that as "I can't lose weight and you are doing it through hard work so I'll try and bring you down and make myself feel better by pretending like I know what is healthy". It doesn't wash with me. The last time I was told that I lifted my shirt, grabbed a roll of fat and said "Yeah I am concerned too. Concerned someone will convince me to stop before I reach a healthy weight".0
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I hear this a lot now. I haven't actually lost any weight since the beginning of the year, but people keep insisting that I'm still losing. Guess I'm replacing some of that fat with muscle, so maybe I look smaller. I'm 5'7 and weigh about 150, which puts me at a healthy BMI of 23 or 24. Not exactly seriously underweight here. I'd like to lose another 5 lbs of fat, but I'm not trying to lose weight. Just fat. People don't seem to get that's it's not the same thing0
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I hear it all the time and I am 180pds and 5" 7"
:explode:0 -
I get this comment from a few people and it's getting increasingly annoying!
I know they usually mean well but it starts to feel like they're actually belittling your achievement by implying you have some kind of eating disorder. At first I liked the fact my weight loss was being noticed but now I actually find it slightly insulting that they don't acknowledge the fact I put a lot of time and effort into doing this properly.0 -
yes, I've been told this by others, and I'm not even too a healthy BMI yet! I am 17 pounds overweight still, and no where near skinny, I'm a freaking 10/12/Medium depending on the brand of clothing.0
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There are several threads on this. You know, I am at the point where I just don't respond to that comment. And I never comment on someone's weight. If I notice someone's last weight, I just say"You are looking great, you look better ever time I see you".
That is an excellent comment. Filing away for future.I truely believe every one is taking care of themselves at any one point in time the best they can with what they have and if they want to change , it's their decision and if they don't want to change, it's their decision....not mine!0 -
Oh yeah, heard that from two people, one of which is a very good friend. I think (not sure) that the taller one is, that it becomes an optical illusion. They seem startled when I tell them my weight. Of course, it could be a psychological thing as both people who have felt free to express that to me, are short and very fat. I dunno. I just smile and give them the facts about healthy BMI.0
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Some people have seen my pictures on Facebook and thought I had liposuction. LOL *shakes head*
Also, a LOT of people don't recognize me anymore when I see them when I go out. Like whenever I'd wave hello and smile at them, they'd awkwardly wave back and smile and later they'd come up to me and say they had to ask our common friends who I was.0 -
Some people have seen my pictures on Facebook and thought I had liposuction. LOL *shakes head*
Also, a LOT of people don't recognize me anymore when I see them when I go out. Like whenever I'd wave hello and smile at them, they'd awkwardly wave back and smile and later they'd come up to me and say they had to ask our common friends who I was.
Haha! I love not being recognised by my patients, i find it so funny
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Yes. When I was at where you are at now (high "normal" BMI). A LOT of my friends and family would say, "you look great, you don't need to lose anymore!" Right...
My sister was the worst, she keep acting like I had an eating disorder (I was on weight watchers and was following the plan). When I would take my mom for walks once a week--she would act like I had anorexia and I was trying to make my mom anorexic (all the women in my family have weight issues; mom wanted someone to walk with her). (She has actually told people that I *am* or *was* anorexic.) So glad I live 3000 miles from her now--otherwise I might have throttled her to death.
I'm of the opinion that mileage is the glue that holds families together. For some, 1 mile is enough. For me, 6000 see s too close sometimes.
I think some people might have thought I was talking about my Mom here. Nope. My sister is a compulsive liar. She actually has admitted before that she lies to make her life/conversations more interesting. A while ago she told everyone who asked how I was that "I was so lonely where I was living, that I was knocking on doors of my neighbors, asking if they wanted to be friends with me."
When I confronted her about it, she said, "it was because she hadn't heard from me in a week or two and she didn't want to say she didn't know how I was doing." *SMDH*
I wouldn't mind being closer to my mom and dad and my sister's kids--who are great--but either of my sisters...hmm...I'd have to think about that for a minute.0 -
I think people say things like this when someone becomes smaller than average. Keeping in mind the average American woman is size 12/14 I believe? So when you're larger than what's average and you're losing weight that resonates with people as "good" and they'll encourage you. But when you become smaller than what people are typically seeing then you seem "too small" to them and they'll say things like "ack you're tiny!" not b/c you're smaller than what's healthy for you but b/c you're now outside the "norm." I get remarks on occasion like "you're so small!" at a healthy size 6 only b/c frankly in our society it's just not seen much especially in someone middle aged like me. Just a fact of our society and sadly many others.
ETA: not intended to hate on size 12/14s in any way...been there much of my life!!0 -
I have heard the same thing lately and I certainly not too thin. I am 5'5" and 142 right now. I have good muscle tone from running and no way resemble a twig. I am not insulted by the comment but consider it a "you've done good" remark.0
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people have their own issues. dont listen to them. stay focused on you :-) xx0
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I'm ashamed to say I have personally said this to two different family members. It was out of concern. I think you are used to seeing them at their previous weight, and you really notice the difference. I also think you do hear this from jealous people because it makes them re-evaluate where they are in life. It is often annoying to receive people's unsolicited opinions!0
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You really do just have to ignore this. It was part of the reason I hid away while I was losing weight. Best thing you can do is never tell anyone you know what your goal weight is. If you say lower than their current weight or size they will often take offense to it (like she must think I am fat cause she wants to be skinnier). It ridiculous but girls are catty and that is just the way things are.0
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I had a somewhat humerous moment at church this morning- as everyone was walking out of the sanctuary after service I ran into a friend who I haven't seen this summer. She stopped in her tracks, did a double take and then in a loud voice exclaimed Holy BEEP you're so thin! I think half the congregation stopped and looked at her and then at me :laugh: She kept going on and on about how thin I was and asked how much I weighed now and what size I was wearing. When I told her, her jaw hit the ground lol. Immediaty she did the 'don't lose anymore' line, but after I told her I was in maintenance and what my bmi was, she started complimenting me and yes, she did say she was really envious. The whole conversation was a bit mortifying, but it also was great because another person who was behind us pulled me aside and asked what plan I did, so I was able to give them some info on alternate day iF 0
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People say this to me all the time and I can honestly say it has never been out of concern. I've decided on a few reasons why....
1. This is their way of complementing you. They are actually really impressed with your weight loss and want you to know that you look fantastic just the way you are.
2. You're a lot smaller/skinner than you think. At 5'7 and 155 pounds, I still could lose a few pounds. However, when I looked at a photo of myself the other day I was so tall and skinny, it startled me. So I could understand why telling someone I want to lose an additional 10 pounds would be like..."whyyyyy?"
3. It's their way of acknowledging your weight loss. Believe it or not, talking about weight is very awkward for people. They want to give you praise for it, but sometimes just don't know how.
4. I usually get this compliment when I tell people how much I lost. Which makes me believe they don't understand how much 1 pound of fat looks like. When I say 101 pounds, some people could imagine a 101 pound child. That's a lot of weight and I understand when people say "you don't need to lose anymore." It's hard to comprehend. lol
I think you're reading too much into it. I usually smile and appreciate the fact that someone notices my hard work.
well-said!0 -
I get this a lot ...
I think most of the time people mean well when they say this. You get used to seeing a person at a certain size. One does look pretty different as one loses weight and it takes a while for others to get used to it.
I've been guilty in the past of seeing people that had lost a lot of weight and thinking (but not saying!) they had gone too far.
Having said that, feel free to ignore all the comments - head to your goal weight!0 -
"don't lose anymore weight!"
translation: "stop making me feel bad about myself!"
translation #2: "I feel insecure, so I am going to scare you into thinking if you lose anymore weight, you might become "anorexic" (usually this is said under the guise of concern. when it is not)
translation #3: "i'm an *kitten* who wants to control what you do with your own body. Also, I just ate a bag of cheetos ... so don't lose anymore weight, okay?"0 -
It's their own insecurities acting up is all. They're trying to cover for the fact that they feel uncomfortable with their own weight.
Agreed. I think it freaks people out when you change. They like you better when they (think they) know who you are and all about you.
I agree completely with this. I have always been overweight (since age 7) and most of my current friends remember me as a 240 lb teenager, then a 270-300 lb adult. Now that I'm in the 220's I am still obese, and have a lot to lose...but they are sometimes really shocked by the change in my size and have ALREADY started making comments to this effect! FTR none of my overweight friends have made these comments, it's all my normal weight friends. I truly don't believe any of them are being mean spirited - they're just alarmed by the discovery that I have collarbones and can wear shirts tucked in. It's never happened before so it's a shock when they don't see me for several months or a year and I look very different. I take up less space. I'm less maternal when we hug. It's different, so it worries some people.
I also think the PP who mentioned people telling him he looked totally fine and wasn't fat at 250 lb is onto something. What is "normal" these days is disturbing!!! I've been told many many times as a 270 lb, size 22 woman that I was not fat or I'm barely plus size...definitely not the case... But I live in a Midwestern suburb where you can walk down ANY street and find 5 women much larger than size 22. That worries me, for health reasons :-( It's not good when a large percentage of people think morbidly obese = normal!0 -
Why do people think its okay to say this? People would never have turned and said to me "please don't gain any more weight" but the number of friends, family members and patients that say "please dont lose any more weight" to me is astonishing! I'm not even skinny!! I'm a nice healthy 142-145 at 5'4 and at the top end of a 'healthy BMI'. I dunno.....it just annoys me! Anybody else encountering this or criticisms for losing?!
Ignore it. People are afraid of change in others around them... that if they change size too much they won't be the person they know anymore. Sometimes they're not very wrong.... it changes the social dynamic and it also makes people self conscious of themselves.
As someone who's lost many hundreds of pounds yo-yoing over the years I've had both insults on losing weight and being too fat... in both cases, the best thing to do is-- ignore them and do what you need to do. If you want to know how you actually look... get in good lighting. Have someone take a picture of you in your underclothes facing the camera and to the side.
Look at the picture, that is closer to how you look to other people than what you see in the mirror generally... and that is more what I base my opinion of if I need to lose weight or not on these days.0 -
I haven't had that but then I've never been a situation for someone to say it. I'm just starting out on my weight loss journey. When I think about it though I realize I've said it to at least two other people before and this is why:
A Co-worker - She is about 5'8"ish and weighs roughly 120lbs. She is such a pretty girl yet very insecure. She had gone from about 170 down to the 120lbs. I truly thought she was starting to look sickly. She was pale, her skin was starting to look dry and her hair was dry and brittle looking. I was seeing a beautiful girl start to look very frail and sick. I was concerned for her.
My father-in-law - He was never overweight but had a few pounds he could tighten up on. He had been diagnosed with diabetes and had to start taking medication. To avoid going the insulin route his doctor advised him to watch his sugar and carbs. He did and as a result he dropped weight like crazy. He has been his smaller self now for about 4 years and it seems normal to me but when he first lost it I thought he looked frail. Now that I think about it, it's just because he looked different then what I had always seen him as. If you know someone at a certain size for years and all of sudden they shrink it can be shocking to see them and they may appear unwell when in fact its just because you're not used to it.0 -
I agree with a lot of the responses here that it seems like a way for people to compliment you rather than to try to tell you to stop what you're doing...
OTOH, I also think that there are people who are just not into seeing others succeed at their goals, especially where food and exercise is concerned. It's so easy to be lazy, not think about what we're putting into our bodies; comfort ourselves with food (especially if you come from a family where food was a central theme around *every* event); do the quick thing because society and advertising companies have made it ok for us to get that quick food fix at any time of the day or night. Choosing to make a change is *hard*. Especially when everything around you gives you messages to stay the same.
I like the answers people are giving about body composition. Hadn't thought of those. My answer these days is: "I don't diet. I have made a conscious choice in my lifestyle where food and exercise is concerned, and I love how much energy I have and how it makes me feel."
That shuts them up.0 -
My mom says this 0
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Them: "Don't lose any more weight!"
You: "OMG, THANK YOU. I thought you would never give me permission to stop! What took you so long? Do you know how hungry I've been waiting for you to finally tell me that you've decided I'm at the right weight?!?"
That ought to shut 'em up. :devil:0 -
I used to hear this all the time until everyone got used to the new me. I just take it as a compliment and say thanks for noticing. I lost an additional 15 lbs after the comments started. I am still thinking of dropping a couple more to get my BF down under 10% (I REALLY want killer abs).
If more people realized what healthy BF% is and what they are at, they probably wouldn't say this.0 -
I get this a lot these days. But I think it's because they were used to seeing me like this (Juy 2011, 254 lbs, 36-38% BF):
I dropped 70 lbs and looked like this (May 2013, 185 lbs, 16% BF):
Everyone who has watched me go through this transformation told me I was too skinny. Even though I was at 185 lbs and 16% BF and at the BMI morons said I was still "overweight". I wanted to get to 10% BF. Normally, I would just ignore everyone and keep cutting but I decided to try maintenance and see how I could do at a body recomp (lose fat while adding muscle at the same time).
This has worked OK, but it is slow going to get to 10% BF: (Aug 2013, 185 lbs, 13% BF)
Now, I wish I could take my shirt off anytime someone says I'm too skinny. Or deadlift 335 lbs right there.
Tom
Well don't you look congressional?
:P
(Fantastic job, by the way)0 -
I have been on maintenance for just over a year and initially people were constantly saying 'you don't need to lose anymore weight.Please dont lose anymore.
Next stage was they thought I was still losing when I was weight stable.
Now its really weird when I say I am weight watching to keep my weight stable people keep saying 'you don't need to weight watch your so slim.
Thats when I think 'this girls not taking her eye off the ball or I will lose what I have worked so hard to achieve'
I weigh twice a week now
once before the weekend and once on sunday morning
if my weight is good on thursday I relax at the weekend if not I am more cautious and keep a check on myself
after the weekend if I have gone up slightly I pull myself in line for the next weekend
works for me but I think we all have to find our own way of coping.0
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