"Don't lose any more weight!"

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Replies

  • albionjen
    albionjen Posts: 86 Member
    My mum recently said this to me. I replied that my weight was about 72kg, since I'm 5ft 2 that still made me about 8kg (18lbs) over the top end of a healthy BMI. Her response was oh well BMI is just a guide really you look fine now! I didn't really respond, what do you say to a comment like that, even after knowing exactly where I was at...

    I was kind of miffed because it is a bit discouraging to hear when you need to keep the motivation going. But I really don't think she meant it in a mean way, more just trying to compliment all the work I had put in plus a bit of maternal concern. I think like others have responded it is just a bit of a shock for her to see how much I have changed. This last year I have lost almost 20kg (45lb) and gone from a total couch potato to a fitness nut! Whenever we speak on the phone my parents both are always checking how my running is going. Last time my mum said I must be super fit now with all the exercise. (I wish that were true, still a long way to go).

    Last couple of weeks I've also started getting random comments at work. The latest was wow you have lost a ton of weight. My first thought was, what you only noticed now when I have been loosing steadily for 7 months! I actually blurted out - yeah since January I have!

    I need to try to take these comments better. I guess it's always awkward trying to compliment someone who is getting to a healthy weight without either implying 1) you lost a load of weight, so you were pretty fat before or 2) you look great, so you must stop loosing weight now. Perhaps we need to issue some guidance on the best things to say if you want to compliment someone on their progress!
  • MickeyBoo
    MickeyBoo Posts: 196 Member
    Last time I was able to lose weight I dropped almost 50kg over two years. I ended up just 5kg below my healthy BMI and had so many people say that I didn't need to lose any more weight, my mum started accusing me of being anorexic, even though she was well aware that I ate 6 times a day and had worked hard to lose weight the right way for so long.

    Honestly, I put it down to jealousy, the main people who commented to me weren't overly heavy themselves but weren't happy with how they looked and seeing as I was always the 'fat' one it changed a few relationship dynamics with friends and family and I think it made them feel exposed.
  • leadiax3
    leadiax3 Posts: 534 Member
    People can be so insensitive. Some think it is a complement when they say stuuf like "dont lose any more weight." It is a twisted complement i guess. I think its annoying though.
  • Serah87
    Serah87 Posts: 5,481 Member
    Yep. :grumble:

    I'll do what I want. :happy:
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
    Well... Now I know I'm not alone in this!!!

    I usually want to partially pull up my top and show them my big belly when they say something to me, but I just smile and say thank you, but I have a bit more to go. I mean, for real, I'm still considered overweight!!! UGH!!!
  • Tedebearduff
    Tedebearduff Posts: 1,155 Member
    Why do people think its okay to say this? People would never have turned and said to me "please don't gain any more weight" but the number of friends, family members and patients that say "please dont lose any more weight" to me is astonishing! I'm not even skinny!! I'm a nice healthy 142-145 at 5'4 and at the top end of a 'healthy BMI'. I dunno.....it just annoys me! Anybody else encountering this or criticisms for losing?!

    Hey,

    I've completely experienced this so much so I have been bulking for almost 3 months now (I've gained less then 10lbs so don't worry) and can't tell you how much these kind of comments totally **** me up. I don't want to be a skinny guy (no offense) I want to be athletic..... It's hard enough coming to terms with my size and hearing these kind of comments can really make things allot harder.
  • vampiree91
    vampiree91 Posts: 8 Member
    yep, i get that all the time! AND IM STILL 50 LBS OVERWEIGHT! i get very angry when anyone comments on my weight without me asking for an opinion or help, its incredibly rude and im pretty sure they'd be really offended if i started making comments about their weight. its really unnecessary, MY body and MY life i'll do what i please with it.
  • ktliu
    ktliu Posts: 334 Member
    I'd love that remark, that means I'm doing great, and it absolutely doesn't mean that I have to adhere to the remark though.
  • GBPack93
    GBPack93 Posts: 76 Member
    I get it pretty bad from my friends, probably because they don't really know how to respond to a major weight loss. People say that I look like a holocaust victim or that I have a disease, I just smile because I take it as a compliment. The average person in America is overweight, so if you are in the normal range of BMI you probably look very skinny comparatively, like I do.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    I don't know why, but I am not sensitive to those kinds of comments. I assume that people say it because they care about me, and then I do whatever I was going to do anyway.
  • onandoff
    onandoff Posts: 122 Member
    It happened to me a few days ago. Almost had a fight because people kept insisting I'm way too skinny lately because I'm not eating anymore. The only way to prove I didn't lost any weight for months was to use the scale in front of them so they can see it's the same weight.
    Frustrating...
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    My mom says this :smile:

    same here, my mum told me last week its enough. it just makes me laugh.
  • This keeps happening to me. I've had family, friends and colleagues all say it on seperate occasions and I tend to just laugh it off. I've heard 'you're wasting away', 'don't lose any more, you'll look too skinny', 'if you lose any more you will look like a lollipop head on your wedding day', 'you're too skinny, put some weight on!' and 'keep losing and you won't have any bust left at all'. Amongst many others that I cannot recall.

    As you can tell, the people in my life are very outspoken! I'm far from 'skinny' and still have 18lbs to go before I reach my ideal. I try to see it as a compliment that people have recognised my weight loss and feel compelled to comment on it but it does get a bit tedious at times.
  • oxlisaxo91
    oxlisaxo91 Posts: 67 Member
    I get this all the time the only thing I can say back is "YOU DON'T SEE ME NAKED." Yet, they still don't understand :grumble:

    Sure in clothes I look fine, but once that shirt comes off and my love handles and lower belly pudge is out to play my confidence is gone! Argh if only people could understand -_- just got to do things for yourself and not for anyone else!
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Nobody has said that to me yet, but I suspect they will before I am done...
  • Melmade
    Melmade Posts: 349 Member
    Not lately--I'm pregnant, lol! But I've had people tell me that before--people who knew me as bigger--especially if they hadn't seen me in a while. If I'm in a normal weight range for my height then I tell them that and move on with it. Don't let people sabotage your goals because of their perception of you as long as you're in a healthy weight/BMI range for your height.
  • TamaraKat
    TamaraKat Posts: 533 Member
    All that matters is that you are happy with who you are :)

    I frequently get told I'm too bulk for a female :(
  • rybo
    rybo Posts: 5,424 Member
    I've been told that a few times at the end of a marathon training cycle. But usually I dont hear it out side of that.

    I did see a pic of myself recently and thought I looked really skinny. More than I expected. I was told I look like a skinny guy in clothes. But not when I take my shirt off.
  • ital13
    ital13 Posts: 5
    "obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the motivated"
  • rachseby
    rachseby Posts: 285 Member
    I wonder if I should feel insulted that no one has said this to me. :ohwell:

    But seriously, I think "Don't lose any more weight," translates to, "Damn, you look fantastic!"

    Would you rather hear, "Yeah, you have a lot more to go?"
    This^^ I have had people tell me that I have gained weight (husband's Italian, and for some strange cultural reason, Italians really think it's okay to make LOTS of comments on your body) and every time I feel like I've been punched in the face...The one time I was told not to lose any more was like Christmas...If it bothers you I would just say "you can never be too thin or too rich..." and smile.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I think it's kind of crazy when people say things about certain body parts and weight loss. I haven't had any boobs comment, but people have said "Where is your butt?" and that is irritating to me because I still have a large bum and I actually like it, as does my fiance...but I guess because it is smaller than before, people say that.

    I hate the comments like "Your arms look really thin now compared to the rest of you" or "The weight loss has made your shoulders look tiny", "I didn't remember your calves being so slim" and so on. It makes me more insecure about my changing body, and is a huge de-motivator! :-/

    Also, it seems that women who are thin or average sized get into the habit of really talking a lot about their bodies and specific things they love/hate about their figures. I've noticed that for years especially among women who are the same or similar sizes. Always being overweight (which I still am) I am not used to those kinds of open comments and discussions! Usually people just comment on your face or something, when you're very heavy. So it's all new and that makes it even weirder and sometimes feels more "embarrassing"! It's like by losing weight I've opened myself up to that dialogue and I'd rather not...

    Men aren't immune to this, AND it seems to go both ways.

    My ex husband was very overweight and lost about 60 lb rapidly and w/o trying, due to poor health - it was right around the time he was diagnosed with a thyroid disease. He looked frail and bad, in my opinion, and I was worried about him because of that. Meanwhile, his friends and coworkers were saying, "WOW! You look amazing! You must really be taking care of yourself, good job man!" Disturbing.

    My current fiance was over 100 lb heavier when he was in high school, and now he's at a healthy weight and very fit. The man is still built like a Viking/lumberjack but has a flat stomach and perfect runner's legs and so forth... He recently ran into some former friends who told him he looked really bad, pale and weak, and they tried to do an intervention over chicken wings (he stopped eating meat a decade ago).

    RUDE!
  • wiserebel
    wiserebel Posts: 28 Member
    I always go with, I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to lose fat!"
  • cagney1024
    cagney1024 Posts: 4 Member
    I have encountered the exact same comments. I have successfully lost 50 pounds in 10+ months. For the last few months people have been telling me not to loose more weight. Really? thanks... I had not planned on it! But what business is it of yours? I feel great now and have left myself a couple pound wiggle room if I want it! Keep your chin up and be happy for the healthy changes you have made in your life!
  • Me2FitMe
    Me2FitMe Posts: 1,285 Member
    Yes! I am still overweight! But I do hear that from time to time, though flattering it still bothers me because I still wanna lose 30 more lbs and technically need to lose 50 to be in a high healthy "normal" range.
  • Aww jees, I get this all the time. And I am a very healthy dieter. I do not look starved and neither do I want to. I'm in bloody great shape now. I eat well and work out with weights 4 times a week. My body is in good nick and its getting better all the time. I won't be stopping to feed the insecurities of anyone!! Needless to say, these comments always seem to come from women. Their partners......now thats a different story altogether ;)
  • mitchpixx
    mitchpixx Posts: 8 Member
    My other half says it to me every so often, coz he's worried my boobs and bum will disappear... when we first met I weighed 7.5 stone (105 pounds) and had two molehills and no *kitten*! I have no intention of losing either... I like being curvy and sexy and will never go back to being a twig. But I do think there is a difference between how others (who know me) see me and how I see myself. I want to weigh just under 10 stone (139 pounds would be perfect!) I want my "stones" number to be a single figure! I currently weigh in at a whopping 11.1 stone (155 pounds) at 5'4" tall. To the outside world (and my other half) I am slightly overweight and probably only need to lose 10 pounds or so, but I won't be happy until I am where I want to be!

    So, when he says "don't go overboard, don't lose anymore weight", I don't take it as an insult, I take it as concern that he likes me as I am, and doesn't want me to change too much, so I convince him in only a way I can that what ever I weigh, I can still bring a smile to his face!!! ;-)
  • mag131
    mag131 Posts: 542 Member
    That comment drives me nuts. My mom is the worst offender. She's 5'1 and 110lbs and is constantly calling herself fat, yet when I was 5'3 and 140 she would tell me that I was looking too thin, eat more, etc. I've also seen this happen to friends on facebook when they post pictures of themselves after weight loss. There's always one or two people who try to tell the person that they're too thin and to stop losing weight, like it's any of their business. I think a lot of people are just ignorant, but there's also a ton of people out there that hate to see other people succeed where they have failed.
  • woodwardtm
    woodwardtm Posts: 361 Member
    "obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the motivated"

    I like this. ^^
  • That comment drives me nuts. My mom is the worst offender. She's 5'1 and 110lbs and is constantly calling herself fat, yet when I was 5'3 and 140 she would tell me that I was looking too thin, eat more, etc. I've also seen this happen to friends on facebook when they post pictures of themselves after weight loss. There's always one or two people who try to tell the person that they're too thin and to stop losing weight, like it's any of their business. I think a lot of people are just ignorant, but there's also a ton of people out there that hate to see other people succeed where they have failed.

    Absolutely. I am sure that most of the time these comments are born out of jealousy. If I go visit my family along with my husband and my Mother and sister comment that I have lost too much weight my husband will always say something like "well you must feel great now darlin, thats confirmation that you are smokin hot" when we are on the way home :P
  • JoelleAnn78
    JoelleAnn78 Posts: 1,492 Member
    "obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the motivated"

    I love this.