What is your key to a long successful marriage ?

all this advice is awesome. i've only been married 5 years. we're best friends, and i think that is so key. and its the little things. he tucks me into bed every night ( i go to sleep much earlier than he does) i rub his back for him while he watches tv. he does the dishes when i'm too tired. i make his lunch every day. just doing things for each other out of love and respect. because we want the other to be happy and well cared for.

i know we're in it for the long haul. when we were first married it was so hard, i had issues with medication and my bi polar, and it was a nightmare. but we made it through and now we're so much stronger for it. if we could get through that, we can weather anything life throws at us.

thanks for all the advice, i'm going to put it to good use

So tough to say what will work for each couple.

To me, the biggest part of success is keeping fresh eyes for each other and not getting stuck in expectations, Too many times I've talked to friends who divroce because they say "things changed". I always think, WTH? Like it happened over night? Or you expected them to be exactly the same person forever?

We each need to grow and expereince life as individuals, and in a marriage you need to let that process happen to be a strong couple.

That and, people make mistakes.
Some small, some big.
Forgiveness is a must.

I should throw in I have been married since 1997.
I've come close to leaving a few times.
We've both made mistakes.
We both have always loved each other.
Whether we liked each other at any given moment is another story.
We both still learn more about ourselves and our marriage every day.

Cheers.

You have to stay in love, stay friends, stay passionate and be good roommates.

Opposite work shifts

I cannot stand couples who cannot do ANYTHING without their partners. My brother & his gf are like conjoined twins & they wonder why they fight constantly.

I think every couple is different. I've had people tell me the same thing (i.e. "ugh, why do you always hang out together like you're attached at the hip?!), and I've known many couples who didn't want to spend much time together split up. I'm not sure there's much association, but I only have a handful of anecdotes for that assessment.

My wife and I started dating in high school 13 years ago; we dated for 6 years and thus have been married for the past 7 years. We've been an "attached at the hip" couple in that we almost always do everything together. Why? Because she's my best friend, and I love doing things together with her. It works for us. *shrug*

Respect each other. Respect that neither of you is perfect and learn to live with those imperfections. Pull your fair share of weight around the house (house chores, child duties, etc.).

I completely agree with you, it is not about being together all the time or having more independence, it is about finding the person who matches you and to feel great with yourself, however you manage your relationship.

Married for 14, together for 17... Never keep a loaded gun in the house!! The feeling will pass! he he he, jk.

Don't share with your partner your complaints you have with them. Instead communicate with them how you'd rather be treated.
Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements.
Don't tolerate bad behavior from your partner. If you cave into a temper tantrum your partner is throwing (usually about sex or money) you are setting yourself up for more of that same behavior. If your partner gets his/her way after throwing a tantrum, he/she will throw more tantrums in the future. It is just human nature. If you don't want to be treated like that, don't cave into unreasonable requests.

ETA: I don't think we need to share everything with each other. We've always had separate bank accounts, separate emails, separate phone numbers ect. We don't use the toilet in front of each other. There are just some things that just don't need to be shared. A little mystery keeps the sparks flying.

Separate vacations.

I been married for 17 years tomorrow.... the key was living in separate houses for the 1st 10 years

This may sound silly but thinking about this question, how about this one and it is one so many people don't do and that is marry someone you actually like.

I don't like my husband at all. I love him. There is a difference. We spend 24/7 together.

We have been together 13 years and married for 4. Definitely humour, letting things go that don't matter, never go to bed angry with each other, make time to do things together, but have your own interests, be kind, think of how the other person is feeling, don't be selfish, learn how to talk to each other the right way and at the right times if you have a problem and make sure you do rather than stewing over it, things will never be perfect - but thats ok!

But my two biggest bits of advice are these:

1) If things are going a bit wrong or not working, instead of you both concentrating on what the other person does wrong and what they need to change, flip it over and take some responsibility, and both think about yourselves, what you can do yourself and how YOU can make the relationship work.

2) Remember why you fell in love in the first place, remember that that first excitement will not last forever but instead you have to choose to love them, you picked them for a reason, remember those reasons!

Me and my husband have been married for four years. Hooked up in a few months... Usually not the smartest thing to do but we are an anomaly!

Basically... marry someone who you can trust 100% and have nonstop conversations with. Someone with the same goal plans who has responsibility/stability and who will NEVER treat you wrong. There should be respect, honesty and love.

Patience for arguments and understanding for flaws. Its not easier then being single but I think it makes the experience of life so much more well rounded and enjoyable. Being married rocks!!!

Communication and friendship. Celebrating 29 years Nov. 8.

We have been together 13 years and married for 4. Definitely humour, letting things go that don't matter, never go to bed angry with each other, make time to do things together, but have your own interests, be kind, think of how the other person is feeling, don't be selfish, learn how to talk to each other the right way and at the right times if you have a problem and make sure you do rather than stewing over it, things will never be perfect - but thats ok!

But my two biggest bits of advice are these:

1) If things are going a bit wrong or not working, instead of you both concentrating on what the other person does wrong and what they need to change, flip it over and take some responsibility, and both think about yourselves, what you can do yourself and how YOU can make the relationship work.

2) Remember why you fell in love in the first place, remember that that first excitement will not last forever but instead you have to choose to love them, you picked them for a reason, remember those reasons!

You are the example why I believe in cloning. That is the best advice. love it.

Aw thanks

We aren't a "long" marriage yet.. 10 years. We laugh together, that's a big one! For me, personally, the most important thing is honor... I never disrespect him (in public) a mans ego is important!! But he also shows me respect, and is genuinely interested in what I have going on, and supports me...