Help!! Skinny Husband wont change to healthy meals

Adorkable1111
Adorkable1111 Posts: 22
in Motivation and Support
I am very upset and I dont know what to do lately.. I am very interested in becoming healthy and losing weight, however my husband does not like "that stuff" (kinds of food) He is happy eating chicken schnitzel, pizza, burgers, and tacos because he likes it, however, he is 120 lbs and never gains a thing. He can eat whatever he wants and always tells me that I am eating wierd things.

That wouldnt be a problem, until I go to make supper. I end up having to make two different meals, one for myself and one for him,. If I do not eat something entirely different than I will gain weight with what he is eating.. Please help me, I dont know if i should continue making seperate meals or what I should do, i have already told him i need support and that he should eat healthier but he does not see the value in eating differently as he does not gain weight.. He must feel like I dont do anything seeing how I weigh so much more than him... He also says he loves me the way I am, but when i work out tells me to keep up the good work, im so confused

I dont really even know what im asking of you guys, just maybe wondering if anyone has any suggestions..
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Replies

  • I_Will_End_You
    I_Will_End_You Posts: 4,397 Member
    What is this, the 1950's? He's a big boy, if he doesn't like what you're making, tell him to make his own damn meals.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    A. he can eat what he wants.

    B. He can also cook his own damn food.
  • SandyBeach1982
    SandyBeach1982 Posts: 17
    That's a tough one. Try incorporating foods into his diet that you can eat too. Slowly. Otherwise, you can always make a green smoothie for yourself for dinner and still make him what he wants. I do that sometimes at home, if the hubby and kids want something I can't have, I make them what they want and make myself a smoothie. I am the only one on a diet after all lol. It's much tougher when those in the household aren't supportive.
  • Wildflower0106
    Wildflower0106 Posts: 247 Member
    First, your husband does NOT have to change the way he eats because you are. If you don't want to cook two meals then don't but don't expect him to change. What is it that he eats that forces you to cook two completely different meals?

    Eta: I cook for my husband and sometimes I do cook two meals, but I enjoy soing it. I am happy to do. Some women might look down at me, but my husband and I are traditional and it is something we both agree with. I have things in the hosehold I take care of and he has his. This is what WE choose and what works for us. If you don't want to cook for him that is your choice and you shouldn't be forced to do so, just as he shouldn't be forced to eat healthy if he chooses not to.
  • drojen
    drojen Posts: 203 Member
    If you are making the meal, cook what you want. He either eats it, makes something for himself or goes hungry. Stop making two meals.
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member
    What is this, the 1950's? He's a big boy, if he doesn't like what you're making, tell him to make his own damn meals.

    I agree with this and I also think that not everyone in the household has to change because one person made the decision to get healthier. There has to be some balance. I had tacos for dinner tonight, burritos on Monday and pizza on Sunday, but I also plan my days accordingly and watch my portions.

    Maybe work out a schedule where you cook a regular dinner 3-4 times a week and then cook what you want the other nights that he as to eat. I don't expect my husband to have to eat what I do, but I still eat all the stuff that he does because I like it, just in smarter portions.
  • Wildflower0106
    Wildflower0106 Posts: 247 Member
    That's a tough one. Try incorporating foods into his diet that you can eat too. Slowly. Otherwise, you can always make a green smoothie for yourself for dinner and still make him what he wants. I do that sometimes at home, if the hubby and kids want something I can't have, I make them what they want and make myself a smoothie. I am the only one on a diet after all lol. It's much tougher when those in the household aren't supportive.

    What exactly would you consider supportive?
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Is your husband 5 years old? Is he missing all his limbs? Bedridden?

    Those are the only reasons I can think of why he's incapable of making his own dinner if he doesn't like what you cook.
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
    Make yourself food and let him make his own, you are not his mother it is not a law that you HAVE to make your husbands meal.
  • astartig
    astartig Posts: 549 Member
    yup, make what you can eat that will make you healthier. what he says isn't law. he can either eat what you cook for fend for himself.

    This isn't the 50's.
  • JDHINAZ
    JDHINAZ Posts: 641 Member
    Cook for yourself, have a reason of frozen pizza and burritos and the like on hand for him. There are plenty of healthier options out there now in case you want the same one night. He can heat up his own frozen meal if he decides he really doesn't like what your having.

    Wouldn't hurt to let him know your asking for his support in your meals. Just decide you'll continue eating healthier if you don't get it. You can't control what he does or says, but you can control how you let it affect you.
  • PunkinSpice79
    PunkinSpice79 Posts: 309 Member
    I love that my husband is happy with whatever I put in front of him - he's grateful he didn't have to cook himself. Perhaps you need to have a talk with your husband? Whatever you do, don't give up! This is YOUR health, not his.
  • YoBecca
    YoBecca Posts: 167
    Is your husband 5 years old? Is he missing all his limbs? Bedridden?

    Those are the only reasons I can think of why he's incapable of making his own dinner if he doesn't like what you cook.

    Yep. This. He can buy his own groceries, too, or add what, specifically, he wants to the list if you're the one doing the shopping. I think making healthy versions of foods you both like is a great compromise, but if he doesn't like your healthy version, he can fend for himself.

    And P.S. I don't know how old y'all are but the odds of him staying 120 while eating like that diminish greatly once he hits the other side of 35, assuming he's pretty sedentary. For him, changing his eating habits now will pay off in the long run. But that's on HIM to decide, not you
  • nomeejerome
    nomeejerome Posts: 2,616 Member
    Just because one person is changing dietary habits does not mean it should be automatic that the other person follows suit. Is it possible for you to eat the same things as your husband (only cooking one meal), but only eat a smaller portion? Is it possible for your husband to help in the kitchen? Is it possible that you are upset that he can eat what he wants and not gain any weight? Also, a person can be healthy and lose weight by incorporating pizza and burgers if that is what they enjoy.
  • Adorkable1111
    Adorkable1111 Posts: 22
    Thanks guys... I think Im going to have to start eating really small portions of the meals that could counter effect my weight loss, and maybe try smoothies or something for dinner on the days I don't want to eat what he does at all...

    I wont stop making him supper, because I do like to cook and provide meals for him after work, I just dont think ill be cooking two things anymore.. seems redundant and messy :S
  • dicoveringwhoIam
    dicoveringwhoIam Posts: 480 Member
    I have a Hub that's thin too and 4 kids.. I'm the cook and the grocery shopper. Bottom line they eat what I cook and what is in the house or they choose to go hungry.

    The hub complains and sometimes he eat peanutbutter toast.. I don't feel bad BC its all about choices.
  • Adorkable1111
    Adorkable1111 Posts: 22
    and we're both 23, I know its going to hit him hard soon but he doesn't yet believe it lol.
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    What is this, the 1950's? He's a big boy, if he doesn't like what you're making, tell him to make his own damn meals.

    Yup.
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
    Make one type of meal and if he does not like it The Colonel is open late.
  • Adorkable1111
    Adorkable1111 Posts: 22
    I will fully admit I am also upset he can eat whatever he wants.
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    You could cook the meals he loves, have a small portion of it yourself but to help you feel full just make a low calorie salad or veggies to go along with it.
  • Mslmesq
    Mslmesq Posts: 1,000 Member
    I make fun things still, I just give the majority to my husband. For example, lets say it's pizza night (homemade of course with whole wheat crust). Then dinner is large salad and pizza. I'm getting 1-2 slices of pizza and large salad. He's getting 4-5 pieces of pizza and small salad.

    And sometimes he's only getting a healthy meal for dinner. So sad, too bad. I know what that man eats at lunch...and he don't need more of it. Some nights he's just getting vegies.

    But,

    Also, I do buy him treats of things he likes for dessert...like chocolate or tarts.
  • Adorkable1111
    Adorkable1111 Posts: 22
    Thanks guys, You're all so helpful
  • _Krys10_
    _Krys10_ Posts: 1,234 Member
    I have to know what a chicken schnitzel is.
  • ihad
    ihad Posts: 7,463 Member
    A. he can eat what he wants.

    B. He can also cook his own damn food.

    As a husband, I endorse this statement.
  • snazzyjazzy21
    snazzyjazzy21 Posts: 1,298 Member
    I will fully admit I am also upset he can eat whatever he wants.

    Don't worry, it'll catch up with him, it always does.
  • MrsMX
    MrsMX Posts: 98
    The journey your on is your choice not his ...

    I often make something for my man that is completely different to what I eat.
    I don't see it as a chore because he has different needs to me and I enjoy cooking!

    Sometimes its tempting to just cook for him but I'm feeling to damn good to give in to temptation!

    I'm slowly introducing some of my foods with his meals, which he is enjoying perhaps you could do the same


    little steps :))x
  • Wildflower0106
    Wildflower0106 Posts: 247 Member
    I will fully admit I am also upset he can eat whatever he wants.

    Don't worry, it'll catch up with him, it always does.

    No it doesn't always... I know people say this to make to make others feel better, but life can rarely be described in such absolutes.
  • tlzita
    tlzita Posts: 2 Member
    I don't think you should expect him to change how he eats because of your change. My husband needs to eat a high calorie/ high salt diet due to his cystic fibrosis. I generally end up cooking like 4 dishes for our family and then we get different proportions of the different foods. Like today we had mac and cheese, corn on the cob, watermelon, and pork chops.

    He got more M & C, I got more watermelon. Or else I make food for our family and eat salad or soup from a carton. I make sure to get good salad toppings and fancy soups so I want to eat my food instead of the high calorie stuff.

    If I make black bean wraps for myself and the kids, I nuke something frozen for my husband. A lot of the bad for you food is really really easy to just microwave in single portions or else he can pick up something for himself from fast food. But I don't think you should expect him to change what he eats unless he wants to.
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
    While I agree he doesn't have to change just because your on a diet...not every marriage is the same..you married him and along with that I think you knew what kind of man he was and as to the things he expected or desired as with the things you want from him as well ...if he is used to you cooking it will be a hard pill to swallow for him to make his own meals and perhaps you enjoy cooking for your family ..I get that...if that's the case looks like you may have to alter some things for him..if not you are going to need to talk ...communication is key....also sometimes if your not saying how healthy the meal is a hungry man will never know.... :wink:

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