Why do girls like jerks? Why do they put up with them?

I don't like jerks and I don't put up with them. I married a non-jerk, though I'd like to point out that there's a lot more to him than simply being a non-jerk. Being a non-jerk goes along with being human, being alive and good personal hygiene, i.e. basic, non-negotiable requirements, but for a relationship to work, there has to be a lot more than that.

When I was young and had no self esteem whatsoever, I put up with a jerk for a while, because I didn't have enough life experience to know that not all men or relationships are like that, and I didn't have enough self esteem to know that I deserved better. I did dump him eventually though, because his level of jerkiness got to the point where I refused to put up with it any more, in spite of zero self esteem and lack of life experience.

I think the take home message of this should be that if/when you are the parents of daughters (or sons for that matter) bring them up to have high enough self esteem and a good idea of what they should and shouldn't put up with in a relationship, that they don't end up putting up with a jerk because they think all men (or women) and relationships are like that.

I don't like jerks and I won't put up with them - I did in my late teens/early twenties, but I have more self respect than that now.

If by jerk, we are talking about the strong, confident, arrogant bad boy kind of thing..... Then I believe it's an instinctual thing. In nature, the females are attracted to the Alpha wolves of the pack because of her survival instincts and the fact she wants her pups to have the strongest possible bloodlines. But, if we are talking about just plain jerks, well, then I'm as puzzled as you are.

I was just about to say this myself. They're all the traits we need for survival; strength, confidence (could be seen as arrogance). It's just science. Haha

I think this is true with good women, the whole opposites attract and there are so many programs and studies out there to to help them. it is common knowledge that women dont initially go for the nice guys but they sometimes will fall for one. I get it, jerks tend to be more fun, more alpha like, outgoing, show more confidence, and makes women feel safe and invincible. I am all those but jerks are just louder and in their faces. Jerks love good women as well cause they have have them as their safety net and take advantage of their caring and loyal nature.

My life was ruined because of good women who like jerks. Before anyone says anything, yes, they are really amazing women but just love the bad boys. It is so common. I have never been able to get a good woman because they is always that one jerk ex that wont move on. Yall have heard this before "he needs me or somebody cause he has had a rough life or has no one". Yeah, because he is a jerk to everyone. I love this one too, "I didnt know he was a jerk". Sure you didnt, your friends all told you and you couldn't tell he was when he was peeing on the sleeping homeless guy?

I never married because I have to date women who I would never marry. Been stuck with the career independent I don't need a man type for years. Many men dont like to date them either but its date or never date. It sucks cause I have such a sweet spot for really kind and sweet women who volunteer alot but the ones who don't like jerks are married and the ones not are still trying to fix or help a jerk. It also seems after they finally do move on, they just go out and look for the same guy.

I am really impressed with the women in this thread, many are admitting it. Sorry for my long post but it has been hell being the nice guy after they try to date a nice guy after the jerk. Two guns pulled on me, got robbed, once homeless because of this, and wasted years while most are married now. They try eventually to date the nice guy but let me tell you, it not fun being that nice she is trying to date after these guys. The walls (which they make it near impossible to get past when jerks just break it and them), drama, and time wasted.

One thing for the women, it only take courage to stand up again a jerk and walk away than with a good guy when there never was a fight.