Why do girls like jerks? Why do they put up with them?

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  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    You know... honestly... I don't like labelling anyone a jerk... male or female.

    The reality is that what defines a jerk are behaviors, and at any time, an individual can choose non-jerk-like behavior. For some people, their propensity for jerk-like behavior is obvious... and at other times, it might not be so clear.

    Sadly, in my case, by the time I have realized that someone is more inclined to be a jerk than not, I am already emotionally attached, and emotional attachment is hard to dispense with even when you are emotionally attached to a jerk. This is especially true for women, but can also be true for men.

    It's sad and depressing, and as others have mentioned, I personally did not get any good examples growing up. I say this so often I make myself sick, but almost everyone in population, could benefit from a psychologist when it comes to navigating the realms and realities of love.

    Now, I'm checking out of this thread cause its literally making me sick right now. I'm working on breaking an emotional attachment to a nice guy who chooses to be a jerk because some crazy ***** treated him like **** and he can't get over her long enough to see the amazing thing that's right in front of him. :brokenheart:
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    Because assertiveness itself is attractive.

    Assertiveness can manifest in a positive way (a confident, good man) or a negative way (the self-absorbed, mean *kitten*), but they are both assertive and both attractive. Hence, the "bad boy" trope.

    The absence of assertiveness (being codependent, a doormat, or passive-aggressive) is what really is unattractive.
  • VeganLexi
    VeganLexi Posts: 960 Member
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    Some don't...

    In that case, how you doin? ;)

    :laugh: Doin gooood!
  • Macgeek74
    Macgeek74 Posts: 298 Member
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    Because assertiveness itself is attractive.

    Assertiveness can manifest in a positive way (a confident, good man) or a negative way (the self-absorbed, mean *kitten*), but they are both assertive and both attractive. Hence, the "bad boy" trope.

    The absence of assertiveness (being codependent, a doormat, or passive-aggressive) is what really is unattractive.


    Agreed. It is all about having a balance. Many women want a guy to be sexually attracted to and not sees as an adorable puppy. There has to be some type of animal attraction there. Guys cant be thought of as like a brother. Also trying too hard, too agreeable, and being too easy is a turn off to many women.

    Guys need to be confident, assertive, funny, fun, a little dangerous, not boring, outgoing, not a pushover, spontaneous, and don't ever be scared to go for it. The end of the day, the guy who goes after what he wants gets the woman.

    To those who already know a certain woman and is getting the "awwwwe, you are the sweetest, adorable, and cutest nicest guy ever", then he needs to be careful because could be getting put in the friend zone.

    Being the bad boy for years and then grew up and a nice guy now for years, I have a good balance and insight to both worlds.
  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
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    Honest truth? Guys who are labeled "jerks" are usually good looking, exciting, dangerous and good in bed.

    But on the flip side, there are guys who like psycho women. You know that term, "Hot- Crazy Scale"? As long as they are hot, they are allowed to be crazy.

    Dangerous? Mysterious? Are they describing Batman?

    Or......http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELRRQIVKHF8

    On the flip side "no amount of hot can cover up crazy".......
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
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    it makes like a lot more fun! and interesting
    and make up sex is the best
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
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    1) All girls don't like jerks

    2) Those that do have low self-esteem
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    Same reason men love crazy loony bat women...the sex is good. Plus there's a little masochism in us all.
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
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    Tell me why?

    Because they're great all-round fat burning exercises that push the CNS and develop explosive power.












    Have I been watching too many powerlifting videos?
  • onedayatatime12
    onedayatatime12 Posts: 577 Member
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    Because I thought I could change him. Don't know. Horrible mistake though. I'd rather have a guy who's tough yet nice and may not show it a lot but certainly cares, one who doesn't act like he's the shi+. Basically someone like my dad yeah.
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
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    I don't like "jerks" but I don't like guys I can walk all over either. My boyfriend is a great match for me because he isn't going to just roll over and tell me what I want to hear. He will tell me if I am doing something stupid and he does so bluntly. Some people consider doing that to be a jerk. I, personally, like it.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    Well apparently... I don't attract nice guys in the first place.

    Tell me this... why do nice guys only want girls that treat them like ****?!?!?

    same reason why nice girls want guys to treat them like doodoo. Abuse cycle is very hard to break.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    We are just better at manipulating people.

    there's truth to this if you know how to manipulate you can have whatever you want whenever
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    I was the strange one in my group of friends who did not go for the bad boys, even in my teens. I always liked the dorky awkward ones. Like the one I married. He's not perfect by any stretch, but definitely not that arrogant type. I never really understood the appeal there. Even the sex aspect. I always found the shy ones so much sexier than the loud ones. I'd much rather date the dork than the badass. I like a thrill, but not in that way. I'll go skydiving or go out with my insane aunt instead.

    I hate that misconception that bad guys are somehow good in bed and nice guys are not good. Always been my experience the quiet ones were filled with naughty devious thoughts. The "bad" ones are usually a lot of talk and little action.
  • notenoughspeed
    notenoughspeed Posts: 290 Member
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    Stop acting like a wuss. Be a man. Make her laugh. Bust on her. Nudge her into things . Being cocky and funny works. There's a fine line between that and arrogant. You can still be a gentleman, but generally, you need to make the event with her exciting.
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,820 Member
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    For clarification:
    What+Women+Want.jpg
  • CookNLift
    CookNLift Posts: 3,660 Member
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    Few theories:

    1. Girls want a guy to piss off their dad because of resentment issues (I want to make my daddy mad theory)
    2. Girls want a project (They want someone who looks like they are bad that they can turn good - possibly because of movies)
    3. They like being around a man who is ALPHA and makes them feel that if they can hold onto them, irregardless of them being jerks, then they're special in the man's eyes.
    4. Maybe the guy isn't a jerk to the girl, but is to everyone else.
    5. Maybe they just genuinely like the person, and overlook their faults for what they know is on the inside.
    6. He's packing some serious heat.
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
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    There is no "nice guy" there's just "alternate methods to get you naked".
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    There is no "nice guy" there's just "alternate methods to get you naked".

    QFT!
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    There is no "nice guy" there's just "alternate methods to get you naked".

    Goes both ways. :smokin:

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