Stop blaming husbands, wives, SO's, friends, etc.!!!

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Replies

  • clairedrose
    clairedrose Posts: 121 Member
    This thread rocks
    Jesus-rocks.gif

    What I really want to know is how people post these cool clips and where they come from! Plus how do you get them to loop like that. It's a smart phone app, isn't it ? Dammmn. I gotta lose the flip phone.
  • cleotherio
    cleotherio Posts: 712 Member
    Do bosses count as people we can still blame? Mine ordered pizza for the training class we have today. Not only will we have pizza for lunch, but there will probably be leftovers at the end of the day that he will "kindly offer" to me to take home! Plus, he made ME place the order, which meant I had to go to their website that had sooo many pictures of delicious pizza and unhealthy foods that I can't eat! Why is he sabotaging me????
  • OtiWanKenobi
    OtiWanKenobi Posts: 340 Member
    Okay, I'll tell my husband that he should sit down next to me to eat an entire package of pepperoni, bag of chips etc etc etc and hold it out to offer me some every few minutes more often. I mean, someone on MFP said that it's okay for him to do it so I shouldn't get annoyed when he does. Good to know.
    No, I don't take the food but there's not supportive and there's attempted sabotage. What's true in your world is not true in everyone's.

    Totally agree! While I totally agree on being a grown-up and taking responsibility for one's own actions, there ARE people in everyone's life who are not supportive and who will (even subconsciously) attempt sabotage - and it does make it hard, it doesn't mean you don't push through and take care of yourself anyway. But to say you always have to be gracious isn't right either. If you do truly care about someone there should be an open dialogue of "this upsets me and makes what I'm trying to do harder"

    I don't disagree with you. If you read my original post...I do mention that it was challenging. My journey did not go without some heated dialogue. I have also encountered and continue to encounter those people who purposely try to hurt you....but it's how you deal with them that is the key.

    What I am basically pointing out that this is your journey and it's your choice where you want to take it.

    This is isn't any different than someone who is unhappy with their job and make a choice to change careers or jobs...or learn to work within themselves to stay in their current situation.
  • NoeHead
    NoeHead Posts: 516 Member
    I get what the OP is saying. But I happen to have support from absolutely everyone important around me, and I can still empathize with someone who doesn't have a supportive spouse, for example. My husband is SO supportive, and I think this helps me to realize how much more difficult it would be if he weren't.

    No, I don't think (most) people are trying to sabotage anyone, but I do see how an unsupportive network would be more challenging.

    The same for me. I"m lucky to have a supportive surrounding. Although it's challening and while you can't control what happens to you, you can control your reactions.
  • Leather_N_Lace
    Leather_N_Lace Posts: 518 Member
    But I want to blame my husband who has the metabolism of a hummingbird and can eat 2,000 calories in one setting and not gain a pound, does all of the cooking and if he would hug me more often and release those endorphins, I wouldn't crave chocolate so much! :laugh:

    I'm just kidding.. I have been a fighter all of my life and he does try to be supportive. Yes he has a high metabolism and does all of the cooking. But he tries to be creative in the kitchen.. I also show him my food journal so he understands if I eat some fried chicken he made how I have to compensate for my other meals that day. I make the choice to put foods in my mouth and to be vocal with him about my goals. Now that he knows how serious I am with my journey and reaching my goals, he is more respectful and supportive of my food choices. :flowerforyou:
  • Zaniejane
    Zaniejane Posts: 329 Member
    Awesome thread buddy! ( just like you<3 )
  • AmandaMaitland
    AmandaMaitland Posts: 136 Member
    Okay, I'll tell my husband that he should sit down next to me to eat an entire package of pepperoni, bag of chips etc etc etc and hold it out to offer me some every few minutes more often. I mean, someone on MFP said that it's okay for him to do it so I shouldn't get annoyed when he does. Good to know.
    No, I don't take the food but there's not supportive and there's attempted sabotage. What's true in your world is not true in everyone's.

    Hate to say this, but, that post is a little ridic.

    What she's saying is yeah, it'll get annoying that they eat like that. BUT it's not a reason for you to resent them, or get upset with them. IT'S THEIR BODY. As yours is your body. You do what you want, they do what they want. Shoot, my husband is Italian, 6'0", almost all muscle, no gym, all construction, and eats WHATEVER he wants. :grumble: :sad: Yeah, it's unfair. But I don't blame him for my splurges. If someone loves you, they can support you in YOUR journey, but it doesn't meant they have to change their lifestyle just because you did.

    Also, my husband is gradually becoming accustomed to my healthy dinners. He supports me. He works out with me. He does it because he wants too, not because I made him. You control your mouth, you control what food you grab, you control how many calories you're going to eat. It's nothing to do with them. IT'S ALL ON YOU. We take care of our own bodies because we know it's right. You'll influence them eventually, not by words, but by actions. So technically, it is the same for everyone. Everyone knows the difference between what's right and wrong, good foods and bad foods. Etc. It's challenging, but it is called will power.


    On a side note, awesome post, girl! :drinker: :flowerforyou:
  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
    Perhaps some people are confusing sabotage with enabling. If someone constantly offered an alcoholic a beer or a bottle of vodka we would think it's horrible. Of course, this isn't a perfect analogy you don't need alcohol to live and you can't just stop eating one particular thing and expect to lose weight if you don't also create a deficit doing that. But, seriously if someone knows you have trigger issues like say stress eating and offers you food when you are very stressed it's not very nice at all and I can see that as being enabling and sliding into sabotage. I am just happy that my SO and my daughter don't do these kinds of things. I can see how it would be difficult for someone that does have someone or multiple people in their lives that do these kinds of things. They might end up having to reevaluate their relationships and seriously ask themselves if this is the only area where their spouse or partner or other people are hurtful, my guess is it isn't.

    PS my SO has a very active job and he has to not he can he has to eat a bazillion calories a day. I don't have a problem with that cuz I don't like the kinds of foods he usually eats. But, if he sat down every day and ate out of a box of Cheezits especially the spicy kinds I would be all kinds of sad. But, ultimately I recognize his job requires that he eats at least 3000 calories a day. I wouldn't be shocked if it was 4000 because my calorie requirement was pretty close to that when I had a physically demanding job. So, I don't resent him for his need for a lot of food. I know how hard it will be for him to slow down on eating that much when he retires I just hope he listens to me when that happens so I can help him transition. I wish I had someone that could have helped me do that.
  • M22KY
    M22KY Posts: 60 Member
    Amen!
  • moonshine_betty
    moonshine_betty Posts: 169 Member
    Okay, I'll tell my husband that he should sit down next to me to eat an entire package of pepperoni, bag of chips etc etc etc and hold it out to offer me some every few minutes more often. I mean, someone on MFP said that it's okay for him to do it so I shouldn't get annoyed when he does. Good to know.
    No, I don't take the food but there's not supportive and there's attempted sabotage. What's true in your world is not true in everyone's.

    Hate to say this, but, that post is a little ridic.

    What she's saying is yeah, it'll get annoying that they eat like that. BUT it's not a reason for you to resent them, or get upset with them. IT'S THEIR BODY. As yours is your body. You do what you want, they do what they want. Shoot, my husband is Italian, 6'0", almost all muscle, no gym, all construction, and eats WHATEVER he wants. :grumble: :sad: Yeah, it's unfair. But I don't blame him for my splurges. If someone loves you, they can support you in YOUR journey, but it doesn't meant they have to change their lifestyle just because you did.

    Also, my husband is gradually becoming accustomed to my healthy dinners. He supports me. He works out with me. He does it because he wants too, not because I made him. You control your mouth, you control what food you grab, you control how many calories you're going to eat. It's nothing to do with them. IT'S ALL ON YOU. We take care of our own bodies because we know it's right. You'll influence them eventually, not by words, but by actions. So technically, it is the same for everyone. Everyone knows the difference between what's right and wrong, good foods and bad foods. Etc. It's challenging, but it is called will power.


    On a side note, awesome post, girl! :drinker: :flowerforyou:

    Agreed, agreed. Hate to make this comparison but it would be like an alcoholic expecting their friends and family not to drink to make their effort to avoid alcohol easier. It doesn't work that way, nor should it; just because you've decided to change your lifestyle doesn't mean those around you should. Of course it would be nice if they did so voluntarily but to expect them to do so is selfish and unfair.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    What I really want to know is how people post these cool clips and where they come from! Plus how do you get them to loop like that. It's a smart phone app, isn't it ? Dammmn. I gotta lose the flip phone.

    You must be new to the interwebs.
  • lesteidel
    lesteidel Posts: 229 Member
    Someone can not sabotage you by offering you food or showing your pictures.


    Seriously, are you going to hide under a rock the rest of your life?

    There will be pizza, there will be cake.

    It is YOUR job to decide if it is something you can eat or how much.

    I personally would feel extremely hurt if my SO quit offering me yummy food because I was on a diet.

    It would make me feel like he thought I was so un attractive I should be denied all good food all the time.

    Sometimes it's their way of telling you to relax, that they love you even with a few extra pounds.

    Quit bashing this and calling it sabotage.

    Your significant other offering you food they are eating is not sabotage, it's just plain good manners.

    It's your job to say no if you feel you shouldn't eat it.
  • NoeHead
    NoeHead Posts: 516 Member
    What I really want to know is how people post these cool clips and where they come from! Plus how do you get them to loop like that. It's a smart phone app, isn't it ? Dammmn. I gotta lose the flip phone.

    You must be new to the interwebs.

    snorted at this :)
  • Personally, I suffer from unwanted support. I like to call 'em "backseat dieters." Sometimes, the people closest to you will uphold a pretense of support. Sure, they say they are supportive. But we all know that simply saying "I'm supporting you" is, in reality, no form of support. They don't ask about your plans, goals, progress, struggles, or victories (nor should you expect them too). In fact, in their eyes, you may as well not be dieting (which shouldn't bother you). But when they see you eating a dessert (like cake :tongue: ) that they think you shouldn't be eating; they question, nag, or guilt you and may even take your food away. They won't listen as you explain you've cut/burned hard for this today, so would they kindly BACK UP OFF MAH CAKE!!! :explode:

    I'll sign up for plain "unsupportive" or "no support" any day :flowerforyou:

    Tried of people trying to take responsibility from me, so I wholeheartedly agree with the OP. Great post.
  • EDIT
  • haha, sorry meant to edit, but quoted instead. XD
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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  • M22KY
    M22KY Posts: 60 Member
    And I thought I was the only one still using a flip phone. :wink:
  • WannabeStressFree
    WannabeStressFree Posts: 340 Member
    I run away from office doughnuts almost daily, it happens...it's up to ME to eat them or run away, so I run away (lately), I'm accountable for myself and myself only.

    If we give in, it's our decision and that decision to live with, simple life rule.

    No excuses.
  • choijanro
    choijanro Posts: 754 Member
    Wow,, that makes me lighten up my mind,, well me i admit i make mistakes i also blame people for who i am now or that make me angry,, well my lesson is that keep going dont take life too serious,, be happy,, its completely natural that they are positive and negative people on this world and we have to deal with it even if it is very hard, , am i right guys? and if i am not right,, then i am left? ahaha