Does a personal trainer have to look in absolute top-shape?

I thought I was done with this, but you know what - I'm not.



OP - I would NEVER, EVER, EVER hire a trainer who tried to push what THEY thought was the ideal figure. Which you very obviously would, since you think my ideal is unfeminine.


Grow up.

Wow, way to berate someone for not sharing your ideals. I don't think it's the OP that needs to grow up. How utterly pathetic. I think it's perfectly clear what the OP meant, perhaps she didn't phrase it the best way, but let's all have a massive overreaction.

If she thinks your ideal is unfeminine, so what? It's not your place to tell her what she should find feminine or otherwise.

AMEN!!! Sorry you beat me to it, but THANK YOU for articulating my thoughts exactly. Hate to say it but the meathead clique on here seems to be believe that the only TRUE definition of "healthy", "feminine", etc is to be huge and/or ripped....otherwise you're somehow less-than successful. Sorry, I hate to break it to you (collectively), but the final result of "success" is purely subjective, and can include anything up to (or including) that dynamic. I did the "unga bunga, me wanna bench 400 pounds" phase back in high school, and it's not for me anymore. If that's what floats your boat, so be it.....but not everyone sees it as th be-all and end-all (nor should you be sanctimonious enough to berate folks for believing otherwise). "Trim" is FINE, and not every woman needs to look like a powerlifting dude with t*ts and long hair.....

No one is saying that "benching 400lbs" and being huge/ripped is the only way.

I only see people here being offended by OP's "definition" of feminine. NO ONE else defined what feminine is for everyone.
You're in a fit at the posters for what the OP actually did, not them.

Can you please quote some who said this? Because I see zero posts that state this and you're claiming it happened.. Did I miss it somewhere?

Hate to say it but the meathead clique on here seems to be believe that the only TRUE definition of "healthy", "feminine", etc is to be huge and/or ripped....otherwise you're somehow less-than successful.

Seriously? Read back the past 3 pages in this thread (let alone DOZENS of others), and tell me you don't see at least a dozen postings (male and female) tantamount to "me like muscles". Just look at how badly the OP was ripped for simply IMPLYING her perception/opinion that being muscular/ripped might not be "feminine". Heaven forbid someone actually articulate that a woman doesn't NEED to look like , and see what happens. Better yet, put it side by side with any one of these:






and conduct a poll on which body style is “preferred’. Granted, it wouldn’t be scientific but, based on the subtle (and not so subtle) undertones around here, I have a pretty good guess not only which would win, but that it wouldn’t even be close.

Sorry, there’s a group think/pack mentality on these forums that beats anyone down who doesn’t ascribe to the belief that: 1) boobs are bad (i.e. sign of somehow being fat/out of shape), 2) muscles are the ONLY way to go (as if people don’t/can't have other goals), and 3) if you disagree any in way with the collective mindset (and *gasp* articulate an OPINION) you are wrong/to be shamed.

People are of course allowed to have their own preferences on body type, the type they want and the type they are most attracted to. What is WRONG is using your own preference to try to define a word such as "feminine", by doing so you insult others that do not share the same preferences as you.

I like and find very feminine her body... it's her face I don't like...:P
But I guess this is even more about personal preferences

funny i was just thinking that its her face that makes her look like a dude...


@Tatonka

Sorry, there’s a group think/pack mentality on these forums that beats anyone down who doesn’t ascribe to the belief that: 1) boobs are bad (i.e. sign of somehow being fat/out of shape), 2) muscles are the ONLY way to go (as if people don’t/can't have other goals), and 3) if you disagree any in way with the collective mindset (and *gasp* articulate an OPINION) you are wrong/to be shamed.

i think you are very mistaken. the ladies on here just don't like it when someone implies that they are less feminine if they have a little more muscle definition. its more about them, no one is saying that everyone else should look a specific way. why would they?

also i'm very sure your poll would not go the way you think it would. i for one would bed andreia brazier and kat dennings with equal pleasure if they where up to it. believe me: there is no "collective mindset".

Harsh, OP was just asking if she needs to be muscly to be respected as a trainer because she'd like that career but her preferences lie with less muscly a body.
General answer: "OMG DO YOU THINK I DON'T LOOK FEMININE YOU PIECE OF"

I thought I was done with this, but you know what - I'm not.



OP - I would NEVER, EVER, EVER hire a trainer who tried to push what THEY thought was the ideal figure. Which you very obviously would, since you think my ideal is unfeminine.


Grow up.

Wow, way to berate someone for not sharing your ideals. I don't think it's the OP that needs to grow up. How utterly pathetic. I think it's perfectly clear what the OP meant, perhaps she didn't phrase it the best way, but let's all have a massive overreaction.

If she thinks your ideal is unfeminine, so what? It's not your place to tell her what she should find feminine or otherwise.

AMEN!!! Sorry you beat me to it, but THANK YOU for articulating my thoughts exactly. Hate to say it but the meathead clique on here seems to be believe that the only TRUE definition of "healthy", "feminine", etc is to be huge and/or ripped....otherwise you're somehow less-than successful. Sorry, I hate to break it to you (collectively), but the final result of "success" is purely subjective, and can include anything up to (or including) that dynamic. I did the "unga bunga, me wanna bench 400 pounds" phase back in high school, and it's not for me anymore. If that's what floats your boat, so be it.....but not everyone sees it as th be-all and end-all (nor should you be sanctimonious enough to berate folks for believing otherwise). "Trim" is FINE, and not every woman needs to look like a powerlifting dude with t*ts and long hair.....

No one is saying that "benching 400lbs" and being huge/ripped is the only way.

I only see people here being offended by OP's "definition" of feminine. NO ONE else defined what feminine is for everyone.
You're in a fit at the posters for what the OP actually did, not them.

Can you please quote some who said this? Because I see zero posts that state this and you're claiming it happened.. Did I miss it somewhere?

Hate to say it but the meathead clique on here seems to be believe that the only TRUE definition of "healthy", "feminine", etc is to be huge and/or ripped....otherwise you're somehow less-than successful.

Seriously? Read back the past 3 pages in this thread (let alone DOZENS of others), and tell me you don't see at least a dozen postings (male and female) tantamount to "me like muscles". Just look at how badly the OP was ripped for simply IMPLYING her perception/opinion that being muscular/ripped might not be "feminine". Heaven forbid someone actually articulate that a woman doesn't NEED to look like , and see what happens. Better yet, put it side by side with any one of these:






and conduct a poll on which body style is “preferred’. Granted, it wouldn’t be scientific but, based on the subtle (and not so subtle) undertones around here, I have a pretty good guess not only which would win, but that it wouldn’t even be close.

Sorry, there’s a group think/pack mentality on these forums that beats anyone down who doesn’t ascribe to the belief that: 1) boobs are bad (i.e. sign of somehow being fat/out of shape), 2) muscles are the ONLY way to go (as if people don’t/can't have other goals), and 3) if you disagree any in way with the collective mindset (and *gasp* articulate an OPINION) you are wrong/to be shamed.

I'm sorry that that has been your experience with these forums but I really disagree. The only time people act like that are because they are so sick of people calling other women's physiques that they have worked extremely hard for "unfeminine." It's thrown around all the time and people have their hackles up because of it.

You really expect a woman not to be offended by that? On a fitness site of all places? :huh:


Oh and edit: I've NEVER seen someone say boobs are bad. I think you just made that up. I think we all agree that we bewbs. :drinker:

I would say no. I would be suspicious if they looked like Norm from "Cheers" however.

I think there's a cultural emphasis, which is reinforced on this site, that muscle definition equals strength and health. Not necessarily so.

Yes!!