Telling People You've Lost Weight... Rude ?

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donyellemoniquex3
donyellemoniquex3 Posts: 2,384 Member
in Motivation and Support
sometimes a conversation goes like this

me: have you noticed anything ?
them: you look great !
me: I've lost 20lbs !
them: oh.... that's great ! yeah ! Good for you !

Which is then followed by them sharply exhaling.
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Replies

  • TamaraKat
    TamaraKat Posts: 533 Member
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    Mmmm, I don't find it rude if you mention it once but if you do it more I think it could get repetitive or on people's nerves...
    Approach it the right way!
  • SomewhatCool
    SomewhatCool Posts: 78
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    People tend towards finding people to be attention *kitten* if they "fish for compliments," so to speak. Aend, they're more than likely jealoua of your progress. I know the feeping, my friend is the same way... Give it time, people will notice when they notice and some will compliment you, but some wont.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
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    That sounds like attention seeking...perhaps only mention it when other bring it up? Yes I consider this type of conversation as..."egotistic" or attention seeking...not rude, but weird.

    Edit to add: You also lost 18lbs according to your scale, not 20.
  • itsscottwilder
    itsscottwilder Posts: 317
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    I am wary of any conversation that starts with "Have you noticed anything?"

    It feels like a test.
  • kf5ljp
    kf5ljp Posts: 31
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    Here in the Philippines people will spare nothing to tell you when your fat but will say nothing when you've lost. But they will mention it to others,,,so if you get the second hand gossip coming back to you, then its a good thing,,,it means someone is jealous
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
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    That conversation is not far off from asking someone "Do these jeans make my butt look big?" No one wants to be cornered like that, and honestly, some people are hesitant to mention weight, good or bad, because people on the receiving end of those comments can be overly sensitive either way.
  • gmallan
    gmallan Posts: 2,099 Member
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    I don't think there's anything wrong about bragging about something you've accomplished. You've obviously worked hard and are proud of what you've achieved. I'd pick and choose who yo're bragging too though. With family member or close friends it shouldn't be an issue - in an ideal world they should be happy for you. No different to bragging about a PR lift or new PR running time.
  • airangel59
    airangel59 Posts: 1,887 Member
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    I don't fish...I don't bring it up..if they ask me it's one thing but I'm doing this for me, not to get compliments or anything.

    Some people have noticed of course and say something, others have never said a thing to me about the loss. When asked I do say yes I've lost or am losing and if they ask how, I tell them.
  • Wildflower0106
    Wildflower0106 Posts: 247 Member
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    Sounds kind of like you were fishing for compliments.
  • recoveryjunky
    recoveryjunky Posts: 162 Member
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    When I do it, I'm not fishing for complements but rather just REALLY proud of myself. I'll tell anyone if the conversation gets even close to it. Right now, my life kind of revolves around weight loss. I have the opportunity to turn 100% inward and do things for me and I'm freakin taking it! Other people can either deal with it or not talk to me.
  • RaggedyPond
    RaggedyPond Posts: 1,487 Member
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    I do not like fishers.
  • BonnieandClyde29
    BonnieandClyde29 Posts: 1,026 Member
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    Just depends on the person I think on who your telling or how you are going about it... I have done it, but with close friends and family, and not very often. If your excited then hell yeah that's understandable, but normally I don't like to mention my progress until I feel that I have reached my point of where I want to be or very close!
  • athenasurrenders
    athenasurrenders Posts: 278 Member
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    Telling people isn't rude, but I agree that approaching them with 'Have you noticed anything?' is likely to make them uncomfortable. You've put them in the awkward position of guessing what they were supposed to notice and the subtle implication is that they're not being attentive or giving enough compliments.

    I would also only bring it up with people you are very very close to and could reasonably be expected to be your cheerleaders - spouse, best friend, maybe a sister.
  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
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    I think it's rude to fish for compliments, yes.
  • tarotlou
    tarotlou Posts: 47
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    They've noticed, if they are any kind of friend they will tell you how fab you look without having to fish for compliments
  • grrrlface
    grrrlface Posts: 1,204 Member
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    It is a bit rude. Most people notice without you having to fish for compliments.
  • unFATuated
    unFATuated Posts: 204 Member
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    I don't bring it up. If they notice, great. If not, well it's not an issue for me - feeling proud of myself is the most important thing. I actually would feel uncomfortable if someone said to me 'Wow! You've lost so much weight!' Because that brings up things like 'How bad did I look before?' 'Did they judge me for being bigger?' and so on.
  • jamiebxo
    jamiebxo Posts: 116
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    It's not rude to tell people you've lost weight, not at all. If I was having a conversation with someone and the topic of weightloss came up, depending on the person I'm talking to I might tell them I've lost weight myself, if I felt it was an appropriate thing to mention at the time. But I wouldn't deliberately put someone on the spot by suddenly asking them 'Hey, have you noticed anything different about me? That I'm (insert amount of lbs here) thinner?'. Kind of gives off an attention-seeking vibe, I think.
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,895 Member
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    If it just randomly came up in a conversation it would be fine. If you are really starting the conversation like that, I don't think it's rude, but maybe a little needy. I wouldn't mention it to people unless they ask. Someone may not want to hear about it that day if they had stepped on the scale that morning and realize they gained weight.
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
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    I would ask you to examine the reason why you started that conversation. Were you really just wanting to share that you hit a goal or were you looking for validation, or both? It seems like you're still looking for outward validation, to me.

    While it's exciting that you're on your journey to health and fitness, others may not be and while I understand the enthusiasm, it would be best to be a bit more sensitive to other people's feelings. Maybe they don't want to hear about your weight loss because it reminds them of the 10 lbs they've been wanting to lose. Or maybe they simply don't want to have to validate you all the time. Be careful to not alienate people.

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