Why do we as humans have a tendency to dislike fat people?

It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!! Especially with men!! My ex husband was thin and looked down on me when I put on so much weight! and let me tell ya he was NO prize as far as looks go but I didnt love him for his looks!!
One ay in line at the grocery store he told me that he wished he was with one of these smaller woman that was standing around waiting in line and then asks me why I cant look more like them!! Grrrr

I was always the chubby girl from the age of 10 but my personality won over my boyfriends and my first husband!! He never l;et my weight bother him one bit but things didnt work out for us and then the second marriage was a real blow to my ego and I went feeling as ann outsider in my own home for about 5 years until my son was 18 and I asked for a divorce! NOW I am on a journey to lose the weight for myself and my health and to get my hip fixed and live an active life from here on out and IF there comes a day when I find another man to fall in love with then he will except Me for Me or NOT at all!!


I wish you all the best things that this life has to offer and I wish for you to fin True love with a man that will really know how great you are inside and out!!! :flowerforyou:

It's a cultural thing, and not a "human" thing. In previous times, chubbiness was prized. It represented wealth and fertility and the ability to endure during famine. In today's world, it is more extreme, and there is a cultural bias against people with more fat. But it is a culture thing, and not a human thing.

However, it sounds like you have some self-worth issues to look at. It's how you feel about yourself that matters,and just from your post I get the impression you undervalue yourself. Those feelings you have about yourself may be sending out signals to others that you don't value yourself and therefore, they don't find value in you, either. Change your attitude about yourself. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!! Especially with men!!

Yes, because women aren't shallow At. All. Especially men? Really? Why don't we just group everyone of the same gender, pretend they are all the same and blame them for our own flaws. It's not us. It's them.

Seems legit.

Where to start.

First of all single is ok. You are not less of a person because you are not yet married. This is not to say that you have to stay that way.. Just that it is ok to be single and happy where you are. I was 32 before I actually started dating. A year and a half later, we exchanged vows. We just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. There were folks that tried to "hook me up"; those relationships never managed to pan out... Then when I found MY someone, the pieces fell into place...

The next thing is that you really have to see yourself for who you really are. You are a person of value. If you don't accept this about yourself there is no way that anybody else is going to perceive that about you. You have to respect yourself... You have to accept yourself for who you are... a person of value... a person who has something to offer.

Many times we assign our problems as being caused by excess weight when really they are problems associated with self-image. If you cannot see yourself as a person of value with something to offer, you cannot project that image to others... The weight can contribute to this but really, I suspect that if the weight were gone, you would still struggle with seeing yourself as you are and hence projecting that image out to others.

I say these things not with hurtful intent.... to the contrary. You know, being obese or overweight is most often the FRUIT of the problem, not the seed. Find the seed and root it out and the fruit will stop thriving. Begin to see yourself as a person of worth and value and many of the other issues will begin to subside.

May you have every success in all you wish to accomplish.

http://youtu.be/YhkNfGa5loE

"In the industrialized world, where the body beautiful is a thin one, we ask why so many are now overweight... and why is fatness seen as taboo?"

some cultures do glorify fatness you know?

It's a cultural thing, and not a "human" thing. In previous times, chubbiness was prized. It represented wealth and fertility and the ability to endure during famine. In today's world, it is more extreme, and there is a cultural bias against people with more fat. But it is a culture thing, and not a human thing.

However, it sounds like you have some self-worth issues to look at. It's how you feel about yourself that matters,and just from your post I get the impression you undervalue yourself. Those feelings you have about yourself may be sending out signals to others that you don't value yourself and therefore, they don't find value in you, either. Change your attitude about yourself. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

This is exactly what I was going to say but this poster got there first lol. We are taught by our culture what is acceptable and what isn't we are constantly bombarted by skinny so believe that is how we should look.

speaking from an anthropology perspective..... it's not a human thing, it's a cultural thing, i.e. something you learn from the people around you, not something you're born with. There are cultures where fat is seen as desirable, usually because it means that you get more than enough to eat, i.e. you're rich. Kind of how owning a brand new expensive car is seen in this culture.

ETA: I see someone already beat me to it lol

It's a cultural thing, and not a "human" thing. In previous times, chubbiness was prized. It represented wealth and fertility and the ability to endure during famine. In today's world, it is more extreme, and there is a cultural bias against people with more fat. But it is a culture thing, and not a human thing.

However, it sounds like you have some self-worth issues to look at. It's how you feel about yourself that matters,and just from your post I get the impression you undervalue yourself. Those feelings you have about yourself may be sending out signals to others that you don't value yourself and therefore, they don't find value in you, either. Change your attitude about yourself. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

Yes, very much a cultural thing the hatred of fat, but there is fat/cubby and very obese ... Just as having a 'sun tan' used to be seen as a terrible thing to have until the 1930's, as it showed you worked in the fields and were not of a high social class.

To be honest I am not a skinny girl, but my roommate was morbidly obese, didn't shower, smelled, and was ridiculously lazy. I am not saying all obese or big people are like that but we would discuss this all the time, and I would tell him no matter what there has to be SOME TYPE OF ATTRACTION there, because no one is going to just walk up to some stranger person they don't know and say oh my god I love your personality or your personality looks beautiful!!! Sounds shallow I know, but I am realistic.

I almost didn't date my husband, it took me a while first because I thought he was cute, but I didn't want to jump his bones right then and there, so I talked to him for a while first, then decided to date him, give him a chance, and BAM we are married. No matter what, when people say don't judge we do, because that INITIAL ATTRACTION has to be there.. When you have known someone for a long period of time then that is different and you learn to love different things about them.

I am not my husbands type at all, he doesn't like skinny girls but he's dated smaller than me and also thought i was "cute", but he always says, "the body can always change, but the heart is what matters because it still stays the same", and that is why we got married.

In my own opinion I don't think that people dislike people because there fat, I think that people who are larger tend to isolate themselves from average sized people.

Most of my friends have been significantly larger then me and I loved them for who they were, because they had beautiful personalities and were genuine (not because of their size). I would also encourage them to come and exercise with me and make the most of our outings by being a little more active. which they always declined...

Today, most of them don't want to be around me, because I chose to be healthy and active which ultimately lead to weight loss.... which inturn jealousy raised its head and they disregarded the friendship.

So my next question is, why do fat people dislike skinny people? and why is it ok for a fat person to be nasty to a skinny person? these are controversial questions but in reality we are all people who have real emotions be it fat, skinny or average... My opinion maybe wrong and that's fine.... But I believe peoples true beauty radiates from the inside out... regardless of body size and shape.

Strangely I had a forum exchange with someone the other day on this very subject. When I said I was not ready to go swimming yet because I was self conscious about being fat and said when I used to be thin I was guilty of having negative feelings to fat people, I was told I had to be less judgemental or I was an *kitten*. There is no doubt that the general public, however they may pay lip service to it, actually are negative towards fat people. They see it as the person's own fault, that they have no self control, etc, etc, and do not seem to realise it is in a sense an illness or addiction. I have seen the same attitude to alcoholics and smokers. What I find concerning is all the current 'witch hunt' mentality around the 'obesity epidemic'. There have even been suggestions that fat people should be refused medical treatment until they lose weight.

There is another reason for this cultural view of fat people. In the 50s, 60s and 70s, certainly in the UK, fat people were few and far between, perhaps as a result of rationing and shortages during and after WWII. Consequently they were much more of an oddity and I think the current feeling a lot of people have stems from there and from their parents and grandparents.

There was a study done very recently where the conclusion was that children were not moving enough, that was why there was so much obesity and we should be making them do more exercise, etc. Seems straightforward, but the correct interpretation was children naturally moved as much as they had ever done, but their diet made them obese and it was the obesity that limited their movement. Very different. It is their diet we have to address, but the Fast and unhealthy food manufacturers prefer to blame the individual for not showing restraint and not moving more.

Obesity is not a modern phenomenon only the despising of fat is.
Some people assume fat people chose to get fat that they are lazy and greedy having more than their fair share of 'the tribes' food and doing less of the chores. This annoys them they see it as selfish and anti social, they want us to conform to their ideals.
This doesn't just apply to Fat its an instinctive need to belong to a group and if a person is distinctly different in any way they don't belong. Only a few with real self confidence, self worth and charisma can 'belong' when they don't conform.

simply put,
they usually dislike being fat, have low self esteem and dont want to do the social things thin people do and can be a real negative influence on family and friends.

There s a phrase " if you go in the zoo you become one of the animals "

so why would any positive self respectful person view the likes of the above in anything but a negative manner and not have negative thoughts ???

I guess I'm not human. If "we humans" dislike fat people I really don't want to be associated with that "human" race. I dislike or hate people for who they are and how they act, not what they look like.

Definitely not human. Most humans decide whether they like or dislike someone in the first seconds after meeting them, first impressions do matter and that is why people jump to conclusions about fat people. This is no secret, people discriminate positively in favour of tall men or pretty women for example. Yes you can change your mind about someone but that is difficult.

I'm sure you believe what you say, but if you are human it is more how you would like to be than how you actually are.

You said it. "Most humans". I don't. I was brought up with don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you. I live by that. I don't like people who have an oppinion about me without at least talking 10 minutes to me. I take time to get to know people. You know, without a computer and a smartphone. If I don't like you, I have a personal reason to. Not how you look or are dressed that day. Now you can dislike me, for having this oppinion lol :-)

It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!! Especially with men!!

This is by far the most moronic thing I've read on these forums since "lifting weights will make me bulky".

Women are far more cynical of appearance.