Why do we as humans have a tendency to dislike fat people?

. My relatives asked them if they would like to move ahead and accept me as their daughter-in-law to which their son and his mom seemed to be okay, but his dad and his sister were not interested as I am a fat girl.

I'm a bit confused by the situation here.
What has it got to do with anyone else but you and him?

Traditionally the son would ask the bride-to-be's father, sure; but even that doesn't happen much these days and could still be considered a bit insulting to the gal.

It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!!

Why should it be?
Why should I deny what I'm attracted to?
Further; if this was the case, surely everyone SHOULD be bisexual? As it's only what's on the inisde!
Personally, however well I've got on with blokes, I've never had the desire to jump in to bed with them and don't feel an need to change that.

I don't like people who have an oppinion about me without at least talking 10 minutes to me. I take time to get to know people.

What if you find out they formed of opinion of you, so you dislike them, before you've talked to them for 10 minutes?

It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!! Especially with men!!

Women are far more cynical of appearance.

I think it's perfectly normal for humans to want their SOs to look good naked. That shouldn't shock or dismay anyone, and women are as eager for a good looking SO as any man.

If you are unhappy about your appearance, then change it. Your size is not fixed.

Do what is necessary for you to feel good about yourself. Set goals and achieve them.

It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!! Especially with men!!

As a man, I believe that women are more shallow. I say that because I have noticed, as an opposite gender, that women go for outside looks.

Obviously, neither one of us are wrong, we just have different perspectives. The key thing is that we like what we like. And we cannot always like somebody solely on the inside.

My suggestion for you since you're so bitter towards men would be to stop blaming men and start eating right and working out.

we do?? I was not aware

I tried to hide a lot of unhappiness in my extra weight. When I had the pain of the extra weight start to stop me from doing what I loved best, I lost the weight and along the way started dealing with my unhappiness. When I am unhappy with my self, in general, wasn't giving anyone any reason to like me. Thankfully there are a lot of kind people in this world.

Do I dislike fat people? No. Do I want to be around constant complainers? No. Does anyone's body fat % determine their happiness? No.

It's not a matter of like or dislike to me based on anyone's appearance. it's about people's disposition and if they are pleasant to be around by their words and deeds.

Because some humans are @ssholes.


ETA: and I am glad that I am not one of them.

U really made me sad! I thought arranged marriages are a thing of the past! You did the first step, coming to MFP, I'm sure you'll find a good bunch of friends to give you moral support. 2. You need to take the reigns of your life in your own hands and not allow others to make decisions for you. I think marriage just as life partners wouldn't accentuate your unhappiness. 3. You need to make the right choices for your health and body! Start with baby steps, it ain't easy! 4. Give a kick in the a** to those who treat you bad because of your weight, you don't need them. People come in different shapes and sizes but it's all about the inside, about being human, caring, considerate and supportive! Be strong!
Good luck and keep something in mind: you're worth more than that! Big hugs!

It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!! Especially with men!!

Yes, because women aren't shallow At. All. Especially men? Really? Why don't we just group everyone of the same gender, pretend they are all the same and blame them for our own flaws. It's not us. It's them.

Seems legit.

I will go ahead and go with this...

For me it is about ALL three phases of someone..mind/body/soul....trust me I have met a lot of hot girls who are complete morons and that is a total turn off....but you do need initial attractiveness to have that initial spark...IMO

I am just going to throw this out there and catch some flack for it ..but if someone is athletic why should they date someone who is obese and obviously does not follow a similar lifestyle../????

Because fat girls need love too

oh and I saw the arranged marriage thing..Really???? That is like so 16th century ..me thinks this is troll thread....

arranged marriage is 16th century? Damn. I didn't knew that more than 2/3rd of the world population was so old!

I think 2pac said it best! "Thats just the way it is"
i was a fat teen no one liked me then lost some weight got some curves and i had many to pick from, isnt this how its been for some time now. Nothing new.

I think there are very few people in the world who don't care about looks in a partner at all. Most people care about a combination of looks and personality instead of all one or the other. Plus, it makes sense in an evolutionary context to value traits that are associated with conventional attractiveness, because features associated with that predict healthier offspring.

As far as the title question, I think fat people are discriminated against because people are afraid of getting fat themselves and because of the negative personality traits associated with fatness (whether fairly or unfairly).

I totally agree with this.

It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!! Especially with men!! My ex husband was thin and looked down on me when I put on so much weight! and let me tell ya he was NO prize as far as looks go but I didnt love him for his looks!!
One ay in line at the grocery store he told me that he wished he was with one of these smaller woman that was standing around waiting in line and then asks me why I cant look more like them!! Grrrr

I was always the chubby girl from the age of 10 but my personality won over my boyfriends and my first husband!! He never l;et my weight bother him one bit but things didnt work out for us and then the second marriage was a real blow to my ego and I went feeling as ann outsider in my own home for about 5 years until my son was 18 and I asked for a divorce! NOW I am on a journey to lose the weight for myself and my health and to get my hip fixed and live an active life from here on out and IF there comes a day when I find another man to fall in love with then he will except Me for Me or NOT at all!!


I wish you all the best things that this life has to offer and I wish for you to fin True love with a man that will really know how great you are inside and out!!! :flowerforyou:

Especially with men!!? Not true

I would not put this a statement of "we" because there are definitely people out there who are attracted to larger women. When I met my husband I weighed a good 100lbs more than he did and since I have lost this weight I asked him if it made a difference or if he was attracted to me less being thinner now and he said it did not matter either way. He was one of the "chubby chasers" along with quite a few other guys I have known over the years.(some friends and male co-workers) I guess it really depends on a person's preferences.

That being said, I do think that there is a focus in the media that thin is more attractive than being fat and that obese people are looked at as being lazy or unmotivated. Honestly, I was lazy and ate too much to deal with my emotions and I was fat....which led me to think very low of my self and have very little confidence. I think that once you lose the weight and gain more self esteem by feeling more confident and sexy that it gives off a vibe that makes you attractive. Some women have that vibe no matter what size, I was not one of them. You no longer try to just blend in, but you stand out.

You will get there and just KNOW that you can do this and don't settle for less than you deserve.....because you deserve someone who loves you no matter what and for the right reasons.

Because people don't understand that being fat is about disease, addiction and a lack of education. They believe that if you're fat you're lazy and stupid when in actual fact it's more likely you are ill, have an addiction or are uneducated when it comes to nutrition.