I need help with um...woman things
Replies
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Oh! And for spotting- That happens a lot on bc. I've been on several different kinds (I have endo and PCOS so I'm a connoisseur at this point of bc lol) and I've spotted depending on the kind. Those pills that stop your period for months on end, yeah I spotted for months. It's all about hormones. If my pills are too high on progesterone I lose my sex drive, but if they are low hormone (low on both estrogen and progesterone) I spot. Also I spot if I miss 1 pill or take it late occasionally.0
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Um, I'm 36 years old. I have a college student-aged child. I have my tubes tied and had an endometiral ablation. Every form of BC I ave ever used has done what it was supposed to. I still worry it might happen.
If you're still freaking out despite using adequate methods of birth control, please stop having sex temporarily and re-evaluate. You're not ready to be having sex if you're constantly freaking out over birth control and worrying about your body's little quirks. Knowledge is power. I recommend checking out a good education site like Scarleteen.This is why people like OP (and me ffs) FREAK OUT. OH GOD.
The OP's problem is not that she shouldn't be having sex. It's that she's wound too tight. Something that happens on a regular basis shouldn't concern her after the first few times, though she should still see her doctor and possibly try a different pill or something.0 -
If you're still freaking out despite using adequate methods of birth control, please stop having sex temporarily and re-evaluate. You're not ready to be having sex if you're constantly freaking out over birth control and worrying about your body's little quirks. Knowledge is power. I recommend checking out a good education site like Scarleteen.This is why people like OP (and me ffs) FREAK OUT. OH GOD.
Lolol, excuse you?
Right? How dare you have sex and occasionally worry about an unplanned mouth to feed! You're clearly unstable.0 -
If you're still freaking out despite using adequate methods of birth control, please stop having sex temporarily and re-evaluate. You're not ready to be having sex if you're constantly freaking out over birth control and worrying about your body's little quirks. Knowledge is power. I recommend checking out a good education site like Scarleteen.This is why people like OP (and me ffs) FREAK OUT. OH GOD.
Because BC is 100%, amirite?
:huh:
Are you trying to say that people who don't want children shouldn't be having sex?
:noway:0 -
Um, I'm 36 years old. I have a college student-aged child. I have my tubes tied and had an endometiral ablation. Every form of BC I ave ever used has done what it was supposed to. I still worry it might happen.
If you're still freaking out despite using adequate methods of birth control, please stop having sex temporarily and re-evaluate. You're not ready to be having sex if you're constantly freaking out over birth control and worrying about your body's little quirks. Knowledge is power. I recommend checking out a good education site like Scarleteen.This is why people like OP (and me ffs) FREAK OUT. OH GOD.
The OP's problem is not that she shouldn't be having sex. It's that she's wound too tight. Something that happens on a regular basis shouldn't concern her after the first few times, though she should still see her doctor and possibly try a different pill or something.
This. It seems much more a facet of health anxiety than "not ready to have sex." Outside of complete abstinence, anyone can get pregnant with forms of contraception. Condoms can break. BC can fail (yes, you can take it perfectly... there are still a variety of other factors that can result in it not working). Pulling out has to be done perfectly, and even then, it's 99%. Hell, vasectomies aren't even 100%.
Being concerned about the risk of pregnancy when using forms of birth control when you don't want a child isn't being LIKE a child; it's being aware. And the "horror stories" are signs to people that you are not immortal, or protected, from the possibility; it can happen.
I suppose it's more adult to "not worry," though, huh? Funny, I thought teenagers were the ones with the undeveloped frontal cortex.0 -
Ditto..although I concieved while taking the pill..and I took it religiously. Had my tubes tied this past fall. The BC pills were making me gain weight and I felt tired and snarky all the time..feel better being "hormone free"
Tubal litigation doesn't make you hormone-free. :huh:
I've had my tubes tied for ten years and I have endometriosis (a condition impacted by estrogen production). Trust me... you're still producing hormones. All a tubal litigation does is prevent the egg from entering the uterus.0 -
Become a lesbian?0
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Just FYI - many women on the pill experience the same problem (re: the spotting). If you have ever taken the time to read your pills' medical information included in the packaging, spotting is one of the side effects of taking birth control.
Pregnancy is the least of your worries if you're taking it correctly and using a good ole wiener wrapper.
STI's can also cause spotting - but since you're in a committed relationship, 99% sure it's coming from a pill. NORMAL! YOU'RE NORMAL! WOOO!
Like most people said, don't hit the PANIC! *kitten*! PANIC!! button unless you full out skip your period.
stars & rockets,
L0 -
Um, I'm 36 years old. I have a college student-aged child. I have my tubes tied and had an endometiral ablation. Every form of BC I ave ever used has done what it was supposed to. I still worry it might happen.
If you're still freaking out despite using adequate methods of birth control, please stop having sex temporarily and re-evaluate. You're not ready to be having sex if you're constantly freaking out over birth control and worrying about your body's little quirks. Knowledge is power. I recommend checking out a good education site like Scarleteen.This is why people like OP (and me ffs) FREAK OUT. OH GOD.
The OP's problem is not that she shouldn't be having sex. It's that she's wound too tight. Something that happens on a regular basis shouldn't concern her after the first few times, though she should still see her doctor and possibly try a different pill or something.
This. It seems much more a facet of health anxiety than "not ready to have sex." Outside of complete abstinence, anyone can get pregnant with forms of contraception. Condoms can break. BC can fail (yes, you can take it perfectly... there are still a variety of other factors that can result in it not working). Pulling out has to be done perfectly, and even then, it's 99%. Hell, vasectomies aren't even 100%.
Being concerned about the risk of pregnancy when using forms of birth control when you don't want a child isn't being LIKE a child; it's being aware. And the "horror stories" are signs to people that you are not immortal, or protected, from the possibility; it can happen.
I suppose it's more adult to "not worry," though, huh? Funny, I thought teenagers were the ones with the undeveloped frontal cortex.
This.
I'm 38, I concieved my first (and only) child when I was 27 and I was on Depo Provera. It was a hell of a way to find out that it didn't work for me and I had nightmares for a long time after that over how long I had been sexually active with it and "just lucky" as my doctor put it.
I have had a tubal and I still worry when I miss or my period acts out of order.
It's called being responsible.
in fact, last month I missed and I was nauseous for five days with a morning sickness like nausea.
My mom, a nurse, said "get tested, it CAN happen, the body does amazing things, and it also eliminates pregnancy from the issue when you go to see your doctor if this doesn't clear up soon."
being careful or anxious about an outcome you've protected yourself against, (but there is always a small risk) isn't not being ready....it's called being mature.
That's like saying people who build earthquake resilient houses in earth quake regions and STILL worry about an earth quake aren't ready for one...
no....no...it means they are doing everything they can for the region they live in and still have a healthy dose of reality and awareness of the situation.0 -
I definitely positively absolutely do not want kids, and I am by nature an anxious person, but I think it's unreasonable to feel anxiety about the possible pregnancy risk when one of the parties is sterilized (or even just using adequate birth control). Also I think there's a world of difference between being AWARE of the continued but minute risk of pregnancy and "FREAK OUT. OH GOD." I also think there's a world of difference between people in our late 30s having sex despite some anxiety and someone who is 18. Somebody who's 18 is going to be far more likely to be swayed by external pressures to have sex than to listen to her legitimate reservations.
Um, I'm 36 years old. I have a college student-aged child. I have my tubes tied and had an endometiral ablation. Every form of BC I ave ever used has done what it was supposed to. I still worry it might happen.
If you're still freaking out despite using adequate methods of birth control, please stop having sex temporarily and re-evaluate. You're not ready to be having sex if you're constantly freaking out over birth control and worrying about your body's little quirks. Knowledge is power. I recommend checking out a good education site like Scarleteen.This is why people like OP (and me ffs) FREAK OUT. OH GOD.
The OP's problem is not that she shouldn't be having sex. It's that she's wound too tight. Something that happens on a regular basis shouldn't concern her after the first few times, though she should still see her doctor and possibly try a different pill or something.
This. It seems much more a facet of health anxiety than "not ready to have sex." Outside of complete abstinence, anyone can get pregnant with forms of contraception. Condoms can break. BC can fail (yes, you can take it perfectly... there are still a variety of other factors that can result in it not working). Pulling out has to be done perfectly, and even then, it's 99%. Hell, vasectomies aren't even 100%.
Being concerned about the risk of pregnancy when using forms of birth control when you don't want a child isn't being LIKE a child; it's being aware. And the "horror stories" are signs to people that you are not immortal, or protected, from the possibility; it can happen.
I suppose it's more adult to "not worry," though, huh? Funny, I thought teenagers were the ones with the undeveloped frontal cortex.
All that aside, I was suggesting visiting a good sexual health education site as a remedy for health anxiety in general. But if that good advice is negated by suggesting that someone take a temporary break from anxiety-provoking behavior until she can reflect on what's going on, then by all means, carry on.0 -
I always buy pregnancy tests when I grocery shop. That way if I get scared I can take it and calm down. The only way to not freak out is just to accept it as something that will give you scares every once in a while. Even when women get their tubes tied or whatever, they still have scares sometimes. Try documenting when the spotting happens, and see if you can find out why.
Not to scare you, but when I preggo with my first, that's what happened to me. I spotted and then nothing. I thought it was starting early, but didn't think a thing of it until nothing further happened.
SO, that said, take a test. When I was younger and in college still and working, my stress would make my periods late. Because I was late, I would stress more and the stress would prolong the lateness. Then I figured I should just take a test. Because most likely I wasn't pregnant, and knowing I wasn't settled my brain and the day or two after I took the test, I would get my monthly visitor.
Just go buy a test!0 -
I would actually recommend seeing a doctor about the spotting if it is happening regularly.0
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I'd be more worried about why you are spotting. See your doctor.
Ovulation spotting is quite common, I wouldn't be worried about it in the least unless you were having severe cramps with it.0 -
I was on the pill and was having heavy spotting (almost like a mini-period that lasted a day) and my dr said that it wasn't normal (I'd had no problems like that when I started it about 6 years previously). I've since come off the pill and the spotting has stopped. I'd have a chat with your dr about it personally as it could mean you need another kind of contraception.0
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careful =/= anxiousbeing careful or anxious about an outcome you've protected yourself against, (but there is always a small risk) isn't not being ready....it's called being mature.
That's like saying people who build earthquake resilient houses in earth quake regions and STILL worry about an earth quake aren't ready for one...
no....no...it means they are doing everything they can for the region they live in and still have a healthy dose of reality and awareness of the situation.
And here was me thinking that all my mature and careful preparations, training, and awareness were so that I could REDUCE my anxiety, not so that I could wallow in it.
Maybe we're just having a difference of opinion on terminology? Anxiety is a mental state I work on to minimize. It's not productive. Awareness is a mental state I work on maximizing. It does lead to productive behavior.0 -
I have the same worries and I'm not quite sure how to deal with them either really. I just talk to my OH and try to relax or my period won't start anyway because of the stress. I panic so much because I can't stand the thought of going through another terrible pregnancy or labour right now and last time I spent the whole time with horrendous depression. When I found out I was expecting baby number 5 both myself and my OH were convinced that we hadn't done the deed for months. He thought I'd slept with someone else and I don't think he quite believed that I hadn't until baby arrived and looked exactly like him and the rest of the kids!0
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careful =/= anxiousbeing careful or anxious about an outcome you've protected yourself against, (but there is always a small risk) isn't not being ready....it's called being mature.
That's like saying people who build earthquake resilient houses in earth quake regions and STILL worry about an earth quake aren't ready for one...
no....no...it means they are doing everything they can for the region they live in and still have a healthy dose of reality and awareness of the situation.
And here was me thinking that all my mature and careful preparations, training, and awareness were so that I could REDUCE my anxiety, not so that I could wallow in it.
Maybe we're just having a difference of opinion on terminology? Anxiety is a mental state I work on to minimize. It's not productive. Awareness is a mental state I work on maximizing. It does lead to productive behavior.
see if they were PANICKING then maybe they should discontinue having sex....
but if they were anxious every time their period was odd or different, then they tested to alleviate said anxiety then why would they not be mature enough to have sex.
I think you are right, it is a terminology issue.
I think you're construing anxiety (which is productive in monitoring and alleviating stressful situations) with panicking.0 -
I definitely positively absolutely do not want kids, and I am by nature an anxious person, but I think it's unreasonable to feel anxiety about the possible pregnancy risk when one of the parties is sterilized (or even just using adequate birth control). Also I think there's a world of difference between being AWARE of the continued but minute risk of pregnancy and "FREAK OUT. OH GOD." I also think there's a world of difference between people in our late 30s having sex despite some anxiety and someone who is 18. Somebody who's 18 is going to be far more likely to be swayed by external pressures to have sex than to listen to her legitimate reservations.
Um, I'm 36 years old. I have a college student-aged child. I have my tubes tied and had an endometiral ablation. Every form of BC I ave ever used has done what it was supposed to. I still worry it might happen.
If you're still freaking out despite using adequate methods of birth control, please stop having sex temporarily and re-evaluate. You're not ready to be having sex if you're constantly freaking out over birth control and worrying about your body's little quirks. Knowledge is power. I recommend checking out a good education site like Scarleteen.This is why people like OP (and me ffs) FREAK OUT. OH GOD.
The OP's problem is not that she shouldn't be having sex. It's that she's wound too tight. Something that happens on a regular basis shouldn't concern her after the first few times, though she should still see her doctor and possibly try a different pill or something.
This. It seems much more a facet of health anxiety than "not ready to have sex." Outside of complete abstinence, anyone can get pregnant with forms of contraception. Condoms can break. BC can fail (yes, you can take it perfectly... there are still a variety of other factors that can result in it not working). Pulling out has to be done perfectly, and even then, it's 99%. Hell, vasectomies aren't even 100%.
Being concerned about the risk of pregnancy when using forms of birth control when you don't want a child isn't being LIKE a child; it's being aware. And the "horror stories" are signs to people that you are not immortal, or protected, from the possibility; it can happen.
I suppose it's more adult to "not worry," though, huh? Funny, I thought teenagers were the ones with the undeveloped frontal cortex.
All that aside, I was suggesting visiting a good sexual health education site as a remedy for health anxiety in general. But if that good advice is negated by suggesting that someone take a temporary break from anxiety-provoking behavior until she can reflect on what's going on, then by all means, carry on.
I didn't realize that your specific feelings of anxiety dictated the reasonableness of someone else's. I also was unaware you were newer to the internet, and didn't realize all caps has the connotation of joking...because it's the "yelling" of the internet.
She's 18 and is taking extra precautions and is being aware of all things that can go wrong having sex. She is in a demographic with the highest rate of accidental pregnancy. Her body is doing weird things that a cursory search of any health source (including the one you so kindly shared) would suggest is not normal. For a sexually active woman, "pregnancy" is the first thought many have, not "oh, just a period change," "maybe an ovarian cyst," etc. etc.
Spotting *isn't* something that's supposed to be repeated every month, even on BC. Sometimes, it actually does mean the BC isn't working as properly as it should, and a pill change (or a contraceptive change) is in order.
Furthermore, you give no reason other than "external pressures" as being the reason why a girl anxious about pregnancy at 18 is different than someone in their 30s. Well, the OP expressed no reservations of "I'm pressured by my S/O," which is an odd thing to assume of someone... and also odd to assume that no woman in their 30s wouldn't feel the pressure.
Having sex isn't the catalyst in this anxiety... it's the behavior OF anxiety. As someone who claims to be anxious, if you've ever undergone any sort of treatment, surely you know eliminating spiders or public places or heights isn't the recommended course of action--figuring out WHY there's a trigger and how to get beyond it is the solution. She's anxious about her body not doing what it's supposed to do (spotting every month is abnormal, even on consistent BC after the initial months of adjusting)... and frankly, her concerns aren't out of the ordinary.
OP, I recommend you talk to your doctor about the BC, and getting one that doesn't have side effects like those you mentioned (which, funny enough, could be hormonal ones causing your raised anxiety). And buy a nice pack of pregnancy tests; I don't know a single menstruating woman who doesn't keep some handy, because as others have pointed out in this thread... you can never be too safe or aware.0 -
Fine then, but I stand by my statement that sound sexual health education is a good tool in the arsenal for dealing with weirdness and quirks when they show up. That was really my point. Reminding someone that they have the right to slow down and take a step back to re-evaluate was just a secondary thing.I think you are right, it is a terminology issue.
I think you're construing anxiety (which is productive in monitoring and alleviating stressful situations) with panicking.0 -
Now you know one. I have never in 23 years of being sexually active taken a pregnancy test. And as I've said before I really really really really really don't want kids.I don't know a single menstruating woman who doesn't keep some handy
She's right, there is no reason not to have some on hand if you want them though.
(I'm pretty sure I was directly quoting someone when I used the all caps. Very occasionally I also use them to emphasize one word on here because MFP doesn't make it easy to do it any other way.)0 -
careful =/= anxiousbeing careful or anxious about an outcome you've protected yourself against, (but there is always a small risk) isn't not being ready....it's called being mature.
That's like saying people who build earthquake resilient houses in earth quake regions and STILL worry about an earth quake aren't ready for one...
no....no...it means they are doing everything they can for the region they live in and still have a healthy dose of reality and awareness of the situation.
And here was me thinking that all my mature and careful preparations, training, and awareness were so that I could REDUCE my anxiety, not so that I could wallow in it.
Maybe we're just having a difference of opinion on terminology? Anxiety is a mental state I work on to minimize. It's not productive. Awareness is a mental state I work on maximizing. It does lead to productive behavior.
you are being awfully serious for someone randomly in a beekeeper suit.....0 -
I mean big-time prepared! :laugh:you are being awfully serious for someone randomly in a beekeeper suit.....
Why would it be randomly in a beekeeper suit? I'm a beekeeper. What's so serious or not serious about that? You don't like? Fine, I'll change back to the picture of my nasty bruise from being an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder!0 -
I mean big-time prepared! :laugh:you are being awfully serious for someone randomly in a beekeeper suit.....
Why would it be randomly in a beekeeper suit? I'm a beekeeper. What's so serious or not serious about that? You don't like? Fine, I'll change back to the picture of my nasty bruise from being an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder!
An indoor beekeeper?0 -
I mean big-time prepared! :laugh:you are being awfully serious for someone randomly in a beekeeper suit.....
Why would it be randomly in a beekeeper suit? I'm a beekeeper. What's so serious or not serious about that? You don't like? Fine, I'll change back to the picture of my nasty bruise from being an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder!
You should take a break from tending bees, I think. If you're concerned about them stinging you, you might not be ready for beekeeping.
...Kidding, but see why some of us got "bees in our bonnet"?
Trust me; that loaded penis is like a bee sting, only the penis doesn't go away after it does it's duty (well... sometimes it does).0 -
If you're on the pill you're not supposed to be ovulating, are you?I'd be more worried about why you are spotting. See your doctor.
Ovulation spotting is quite common, I wouldn't be worried about it in the least unless you were having severe cramps with it.0 -
In some places, yes. But also, do I have to wait until I get outside to put on my suit?An indoor beekeeper?
Look, y'all, I just want to help the OP, because that's a stressful situation to be in. I don't really care how or who gets that job done. Here's me putting my ego away now.
Since we're talking about spotting, did you know some women spot after a heavy workout, especially around ovulation?0 -
Nope. That's how the pill works.
If you're on the pill you're not supposed to be ovulating, are you?I'd be more worried about why you are spotting. See your doctor.
Ovulation spotting is quite common, I wouldn't be worried about it in the least unless you were having severe cramps with it.0 -
Honestly, I think we all get paranoid quiet often when something out of the norm happens. You'll be fine. Just take a pregnancy test when needed.0
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Ditto. I've been sexually active since 1982. I've bought and taken ONE pregnancy test (negative). I certainly never had them "on hand". No issue with others who do, but I never did/don't.
Now you know one. I have never in 23 years of being sexually active taken a pregnancy test. And as I've said before I really really really really really don't want kids.I don't know a single menstruating woman who doesn't keep some handy
She's right, there is no reason not to have some on hand if you want them though.
(I'm pretty sure I was directly quoting someone when I used the all caps. Very occasionally I also use them to emphasize one word on here because MFP doesn't make it easy to do it any other way.)0 -
It's a wonderful analogy! Because it is still possible, though exceedingly unlikely, to get stung through my suit. (Other people who use different suits get stung through them far more often, so it's like using a less effective contraceptive method.) But I am not worried that I am going to get stung through my suit, even though there is a slim chance it could happen. There are some people who are quite anxious about that, and they don't tend bees. I think the analogy works wonderfully. :drinker:
I mean big-time prepared! :laugh:you are being awfully serious for someone randomly in a beekeeper suit.....
Why would it be randomly in a beekeeper suit? I'm a beekeeper. What's so serious or not serious about that? You don't like? Fine, I'll change back to the picture of my nasty bruise from being an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder!
You should take a break from tending bees, I think. If you're concerned about them stinging you, you might not be ready for beekeeping.
...Kidding, but see why some of us got "bees in our bonnet"?
Trust me; that loaded penis is like a bee sting, only the penis doesn't go away after it does it's duty (well... sometimes it does).0
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