Stop blaming husbands, wives, SO's, friends, etc.!!!

Okay, I'll tell my husband that he should sit down next to me to eat an entire package of pepperoni, bag of chips etc etc etc and hold it out to offer me some every few minutes more often. I mean, someone on MFP said that it's okay for him to do it so I shouldn't get annoyed when he does. Good to know.
No, I don't take the food but there's not supportive and there's attempted sabotage. What's true in your world is not true in everyone's.

yes! until others have been in your shoes they have NO IDEA what it's like.:grumble:
But that being said, I've finally "put my foot down" about it. I will no longer destroy my body and my health because my saboteur hubby has insecurity issues. :ohwell: And though he can be a little "dense" at times he is starting to get the message!

I'd like to be friends with everyone that agreed with this post; as a matter of fact I think I'm going to send friend requests to those that, like me, keep it real & don't kid themselves through making excuses & blaming others. This post was right on time and I can dig it! :bigsmile:

Okay, I'll tell my husband that he should sit down next to me to eat an entire package of pepperoni, bag of chips etc etc etc and hold it out to offer me some every few minutes more often. I mean, someone on MFP said that it's okay for him to do it so I shouldn't get annoyed when he does. Good to know.
No, I don't take the food but there's not supportive and there's attempted sabotage. What's true in your world is not true in everyone's.

yes! until others have been in your shoes they have NO IDEA what it's like.:grumble:
But that being said, I've finally "put my foot down" about it. I will no longer destroy my body and my health because my saboteur hubby has insecurity issues. :ohwell: And though he can be a little "dense" at times he is starting to get the message!

I really like the OP in this thread but this post is 100% true for me too.

Dieting is one of the hardest things a person can do and dieting while living with an active sabatour is fu@king horrible torture and is absolutely maddening.

It is gaslighting to tell people that this doesn't really happen to anyone, that it's our imaginations and that maybe it would stop if we had a 'talk' to the offending party.

Pffttt.

Okay, I'll tell my husband that he should sit down next to me to eat an entire package of pepperoni, bag of chips etc etc etc and hold it out to offer me some every few minutes more often. I mean, someone on MFP said that it's okay for him to do it so I shouldn't get annoyed when he does. Good to know.
No, I don't take the food but there's not supportive and there's attempted sabotage. What's true in your world is not true in everyone's.

yes! until others have been in your shoes they have NO IDEA what it's like.:grumble:
But that being said, I've finally "put my foot down" about it. I will no longer destroy my body and my health because my saboteur hubby has insecurity issues. :ohwell: And though he can be a little "dense" at times he is starting to get the message!

I really like the OP in this thread but this post is 100% true for me too.

Dieting is one of the hardest things a person can do and dieting while living with an active sabatour is fu@king horrible torture and is absolutely maddening.

It is gaslighting to tell people that this doesn't really happen to anyone, that it's our imaginations and that maybe it would stop if we had a 'talk' to the offending party.

Pffttt.

Temptation is everywhere. Unless your SO is tying you down and force feeding you you are not being sabotaged.

ETA: My wife has a bowl of ice cream almost every night. I can't have very much ice cream because I have bad cholesterol. She always asks me if I want some, but instead I usually just have a smoothie or a piece of fruit. SCHWING I'M BEING SABOTAGED BUT I STILL MEET CALORIE AND MACRO GOALS OMGGGG SELF CONTROL.

Okay, I'll tell my husband that he should sit down next to me to eat an entire package of pepperoni, bag of chips etc etc etc and hold it out to offer me some every few minutes more often. I mean, someone on MFP said that it's okay for him to do it so I shouldn't get annoyed when he does. Good to know.
No, I don't take the food but there's not supportive and there's attempted sabotage. What's true in your world is not true in everyone's.

yes! until others have been in your shoes they have NO IDEA what it's like.:grumble:
But that being said, I've finally "put my foot down" about it. I will no longer destroy my body and my health because my saboteur hubby has insecurity issues. :ohwell: And though he can be a little "dense" at times he is starting to get the message!

I really like the OP in this thread but this post is 100% true for me too.

Dieting is one of the hardest things a person can do and dieting while living with an active sabatour is fu@king horrible torture and is absolutely maddening.

It is gaslighting to tell people that this doesn't really happen to anyone, that it's our imaginations and that maybe it would stop if we had a 'talk' to the offending party.

Pffttt.

Temptation is everywhere. Unless your SO is tying you down and force feeding you you are not being sabotaged.

ETA: My wife has a bowl of ice cream almost every night. I can't have very much ice cream because I have bad cholesterol. She always asks me if I want some, but instead I usually just have a smoothie or a piece of fruit. SCHWING I'M BEING SABOTAGED BUT I STILL MEET CALORIE AND MACRO GOALS OMGGGG SELF CONTROL.

This!!

Three days after I started counting my calories, my husband went to Del Taco after dinner (he's 6'4" and can eat just about anything,the *kitten*). I LOVE Del Taco. Especially their chili cheese fries. When he arrived home with the bag, I could smell it. I KNEW the bag contained chili cheese fries. I had about 150 cals left so I asked him if I could have one fry. It was delicious. And i didn't explode into binge mode. He eats what he wants but he also tells me how proud of me he is.

It's not fair to him to shove my personal responsibility on him because he doesn't need to restrict his calories as severely.

I guess I am really fortunate.
My husband has always been supportive of anything that I do.

When I started this weight journey, Larry ( my husband) was right beside me, even though he does not need to lose weight.
He is 5'11 and weighs 168 pounds.
But he would sit beside me and help me with my diary to give me ideas.

I never had to cook separate meals.
He would eat what I ate, or if he wanted something different, he would cook his own.
He would have ice cream, but guess what, it never bothered me.

I have never given up my sweets, I just do strict portion control.
I log every morsel that goes into my mouth.

I have lost 22 pounds and now on Maintenance.
My husband will be right beside me helping me along.
He also compliments me on my weight and calls me Skinny.
Love that name.

Very nicely stated! I like to bake, and I really like to share what I have baked. I have had friends say that I was trying to make them fat so I would look slender by comparison. I couldn't believe anyone would think that.

Hmm. If I'm in a relationship and my partner said he has a problem he's working on, I'd be the first to ask him how I could help. If he were to say that it would be very helpful if I could stop having sweets etc. unhealthy stuff around, then I'd leave them in the store in heartbeat. Nothing is as important as supporting those I love and I could live without the junk just fine. Happiness is knowing I can help someone, who needs it.

I believe in taking responsibility for one's own actions, but I believe more in being there for those I love, and this whole "you're on your own" thing seems very strange to me. That's no healthy and balanced partnership to me, but leaving someone to fight alone.

Totally admit it is my own fault I am over weight. I ate too much junk and didn't do enough exercise.

It is nice though to have support from family and friends - I think that as somebody who has commited to sharing their life with you they should want to share your journey and make it easier for you. That is what a relationship is. I am not talking about going without - as that is the same problem reversed, but certainly moderating and not gloating. It isn't forever and it helps somebody you love.

Well I didn't get knocked up by myself..

Okay, I'll tell my husband that he should sit down next to me to eat an entire package of pepperoni, bag of chips etc etc etc and hold it out to offer me some every few minutes more often. I mean, someone on MFP said that it's okay for him to do it so I shouldn't get annoyed when he does. Good to know.
No, I don't take the food but there's not supportive and there's attempted sabotage. What's true in your world is not true in everyone's.

Well you see it as sabatoge and he may see it as being nice to his wife, or habits are hard to break so it continues. He also may be doing it just to see if you take it, to see if your really serious about losing weight, after all how many times have you started and stopped. He's probably very happy you don't take his food, but is it true sabatoge? doubtful

Bumping logical post of logic. Any post that calls the victim mentality for what it is deserves to be stickied. You decide what goes into your mouth. Period.

This topic reminds me of an "incident" I had early in my relationship. My boyfriend at the time (now husband) and I were walking through the local shopping mall. We strolled past a certain store and I commented (in typical fat-shaming talk) "I love the clothes there but I'd have to lose 50 lbs to even walk through the door." My sweet bf lovingly replied "You can lose weight if you want to!". After a few moments of staring at him in disbelief, I broke down crying. What he had intended as a supportive statement, I had selfishly manipulated into a comment about my lack of self-control.

I have learned since then to monitor my fat and self-shaming talk. Of course, I still want to lose weight (I'm here, aren't I?) but I have to break the chain and stop baiting my husband and friends for comments, positive or negative. My husband is supportive in everything I do, it's up to me to monitor my inner thoughts and willpower.

Hi there... I heard there was cake??



Great post OP.

Although, when you tell your mother in law that you don't want a slice of cake thank you, but no... and then she brings you the biggest slice she can manage, twice the size of everyone else's with three scoops of ice cream and a wicked grin, you know she's up to something. I just said thank you and sat it to the side. Then, when she ranted about me wasting cake, I politely pointed out that I had asked NOT to have cake. She's a demon though and beyond the realm of logical reasoning. LOL :laugh: :laugh: I just don't let her affect my choices. :drinker:

Hi there... I heard there was cake??



Great post OP.

Although, when you tell your mother in law that you don't want a slice of cake thank you, but no... and then she brings you the biggest slice she can manage, twice the size of everyone else's with three scoops of ice cream and a wicked grin, you know she's up to something. I just said thank you and sat it to the side. Then, when she ranted about me wasting cake, I politely pointed out that I had asked NOT to have cake. She's a demon though and beyond the realm of logical reasoning. LOL :laugh: :laugh: I just don't let her affect my choices. :drinker:

Did someone say CAKE!!! I don't see one, so I brought my own.

Just kidding. :laugh: Great post btw.

Marry me? :flowerforyou: