Rude & Negative People Along The Way....

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Replies

  • Tigg_er
    Tigg_er Posts: 22,001 Member

    The most successful people in the world wouldn't have been successful if they listened to what negative things others say on a regular basis.
    Get thick skin like a rhino.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    Around my job we mess with each other all day, I would venture to say the person didn't really mean anything by it , they just didn't realize how important it is to you. If you didn't know this person then that might be a different story. Just joke back and take it for what it is.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I don't know what your work relationship is with this person - but i work with a group of people that joke with each other and saying something like that would be just part of a regular day.

    Pretty much this. My nickname at work (I work with mostly men) is "guns." When I eat sushi I have a co-worker who will inevitably bring me a fork because he feels bad for me "no one should ever have to eat with sticks." I also get comments when I hit up the candy dish, because they know that I am the biggest offender but work really hard at not looking like it. Oh, and the sheer volume of food that I eat is a constant item joked about with my friends and family.

    So I don't know your work atmosphere, but here if someone got bend out of shape over a food comment the rest of us would be pretty surprised.
  • caiconCristi
    caiconCristi Posts: 255 Member
    “Be kind to unkind people – they need it the most.” - Ashleigh Brilliant, artist and writer.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    I don't know what your work relationship is with this person - but i work with a group of people that joke with each other and saying something like that would be just part of a regular day.

    ^ This.

    Really, step back and think about why you are so upset about the comment. I've worked jobs where we referred to each other by incredibly insulting nick names, but we were all in on the jokes, and the stress reduction/laughter were necessary. Working and dieting can suck, so the more you can use humor and laugh at yourself, and not take things so seriously, the more you will relax and the more people will want to be around you.
  • xRiverX
    xRiverX Posts: 149 Member
    Op, while I do not necessarily agree with people telling you to 'just brush it off' or 'they were just joking', I will say that the most important thing to remember is the issue is with the person that said it to you. Not you. In other words, something is going on inside of them that is making them be snide to you. Almost 100% of the time it has nothing to do with anything you've done. That is the most important thing to remember.

    So in this case, they probably feel some huge pressure internally about eating healthy or something. You don't (and probably can't know) where it stems from. For all you know, the person had a mother that constantly put pressure on them to be thinner and scrutinized their food choices. Doesn't matter what their issue is, the important thing to remember is it is their issue!

    With that said, I highly recommend an excellent book. May be one of thebest you will ever read. It is called The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz. Esentially the four agreements boil down to this:

    Be Impeccable With Your Word
    Don't Take Anything Personally
    Don't Make Assumptions
    Always Do Your Best

    But the read and explanation is excellent.

    Within that, both the fact that it is their issue and that you can become a little more detached in your observation and reaction to their comments, that is not to say you do not have the right to set boundaries with people! You absolutely do and should. The important thing is to set the boundaries in a clear, direct way that are consistent with your own integrity as well.

    So, for example, after her comment here, I might have asked her why she thought that was a normal lunch and if she thought I was eating abnormal lunches on other days. Depending on what she said, I might have simply stated 'I feel really good about my new culinary expansion and experimentation phase I've been exploring, but I admit I'm uncomfortable with you commenting that it is somehow abnormal. If you are saying that because it is something you are unfamiliar with, but interested in, I'm happy to swap recipes with you'. (Depending on my past experiences with the individual I might add), 'But if it is my lifestyle choice in relation to food that you are commenting on, I'd prefer you keep your thoughts to yourself as I'm quite comfortable and happy with my current lifestyle'.

    Anyways, sorry you had to deal with a jerky coworker. Unfortunately there are unhappy people in the world that like to spread their unhappiness. But, there are always happy people too, don't forget. And her actions will become apparent to all sooner or later. Just make sure you keep your own integrity in your interactions, that is the most important.

    I think i'm having "de ja vous" from this morning

    Love your attitude by the way :)

    to the op do what you want to do,relax it will all happen in time :) good luck even though i know its not luck
  • xRiverX
    xRiverX Posts: 149 Member
    “Be kind to unkind people – they need it the most.” - Ashleigh Brilliant, artist and writer.
    LOL love this-however Id rather make fun of them I dislike anykind of bullying or mind manipulation for their own delusion of power,dont let them have power over you just smile or laugh,haha haha :)
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
    "You cannot control the people around you, but you can control how you react to them"

    "No one can MAKE you feel bad about yourself without your permission"

    "Life is hard, get a helmet"

    I seem to say one or more of these to myself or someone else on daily basis. To heck with what others think, do your own thing for your own reasons.
  • lilredhead314
    lilredhead314 Posts: 52 Member
    Ugh, I have the same issue at work. I eat chia pudding everyday and everyday people are like "eww, what's that?" or "you're still eating that?" I try to just brush it off, but it's hard.
  • walterm852
    walterm852 Posts: 409 Member
    "Lions mustn't concern themselves with the opinions of lambs"
  • wildrose53
    wildrose53 Posts: 1,342 Member
    "Lions mustn't concern themselves with the opinions of lambs"

    I love this...I have a co-worker who comes to my desk every day at lunch and asks what I'm eating..then she asks how many calories are in it! Drives me nuts! And she just did it again! Grrrr. The last thing I worry about is what someone else is eating!!!
  • jetlag
    jetlag Posts: 800 Member
    WTF is a brat?
  • HermioneDanger118
    HermioneDanger118 Posts: 345 Member
    mmm pita with veggies and humus actually sounds really good, haha thanks for a new lunch idea! ;)

    I thought the same thing!!
  • Blackdinomite
    Blackdinomite Posts: 26 Member
    i'm amazed at how much attention people pay to what's on my plate. Don't let this get you down - your results are raising eyebrows and the nosey's are just waiting to see you fall - if anything let the comment encourage you and stay consistent.
  • EvanKeel
    EvanKeel Posts: 1,904 Member
    They're probably just insecure about their own eating habits and not aware of it. Otherwise there would be no need to mention your food at all in that context.

    Obesity due to high BF% is getting to be pretty normal, too. It doesn't make it a good thing.
  • StheK
    StheK Posts: 443 Member
    I really struggle with how to interact with other people around my health habits, so I can relate to this. I enjoy it when people tell me I'm looking good, but I don't really want to talk about "what I'm doing differently" or what "my secret" is, or whether or not I'm working out, or what diet I'm on, or what my weightloss goals are, and I especially hate it when people call attention to my efforts in a group setting. I don't know how to react and I get very uncomfortable. I don't want it to be a big deal and a lot of people insist on making it a big deal. I try to say thank you when they compliment me and I try to say as little as possible when they make any other kind of comment about it.
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
    WTF is a brat?

    I'm guessing bratwurst...it's a type of sausage.
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
    "Lions mustn't concern themselves with the opinions of lambs"

    :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,890 Member
    I get lots of comments and questions from people. I started losing weight, and all of a sudden a lot of people turned into the food police and experts on what I should be eating. I am at the point where if someone says something annoying or ridiculous, they get a blank stare and maybe a raised eyebrow. If I let everything everyone has said get under my skin, I would probably be curled up in a corner crying.
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
    WTF is a brat?

    Get out! Get out now! BLASPHEMY!!!!
  • JUDDDing
    JUDDDing Posts: 1,367 Member
    I'm not sure that's about you eating healthy - are you sure that it wasn't about the pita?

    Around here, you'd be, "That girl who always eats pitas". :bigsmile:
  • mkakids
    mkakids Posts: 1,913 Member
    I'm kind of upset by a comment that was made to me yesterday and I don't know where else to let it out, so here I am...

    I was eating lunch yesterday at my desk, like I always do. I normally eat a pita with veggies and hummus all wrapped up in it. A co-worker saw me eating a salad with a turkey brat/bun (I'm pretty rigid with my veggies/pita routine so they noticed it was a change.) They said "are you eating a brat?" I said "oh yeah, it's a turkey brat, it's really good". They responded with "Congratulations, you're eating a normal lunch".

    First of all, WHO CARES. Second, what's "normal"? Normal to me is food that makes me feel satisfied and full throughout the afternoon. My "normal" is a pita with veggies and humus. This person has no idea how much I eat for breakfast or dinner or snacks.

    After this I have just been thinking it over in my head and thinking "I should have said ____" and thinking of all the times over this past summer where I now realize they made comments that were directed at me and/or ways of mocking/poking fun at me.

    I know we're all adults here, and this shouldn't bug me as much as it is, but MAN. It really struck a nerve.

    Look around you at what is considered "Normal" today.....overweight, unmotivated, unhealthy. If that's normal, I want to be WIERD!
  • fuschiagirl99
    fuschiagirl99 Posts: 11 Member
    You'll find some people can be very hostile to others -- usually in a passive-aggresive form -- when they've changed their lifestyle to a healthy one.

    I suspect most of it is rooted in a deep-seated jealousy and feeling bad about their own lifestyle.
  • amie709
    amie709 Posts: 99
    I'm kind of upset by a comment that was made to me yesterday and I don't know where else to let it out, so here I am...

    I was eating lunch yesterday at my desk, like I always do. I normally eat a pita with veggies and hummus all wrapped up in it. A co-worker saw me eating a salad with a turkey brat/bun (I'm pretty rigid with my veggies/pita routine so they noticed it was a change.) They said "are you eating a brat?" I said "oh yeah, it's a turkey brat, it's really good". They responded with "Congratulations, you're eating a normal lunch".

    First of all, WHO CARES. Second, what's "normal"? Normal to me is food that makes me feel satisfied and full throughout the afternoon. My "normal" is a pita with veggies and humus. This person has no idea how much I eat for breakfast or dinner or snacks.

    After this I have just been thinking it over in my head and thinking "I should have said ____" and thinking of all the times over this past summer where I now realize they made comments that were directed at me and/or ways of mocking/poking fun at me.

    I know we're all adults here, and this shouldn't bug me as much as it is, but MAN. It really struck a nerve.

    Normal!!! Let's talk about normal for a moment, shall we??? (As you can tell-you got my back up too lol)

    Let's think about what has become normal in our society. It has become normal to eat fast food every single day and sometimes two or hree times a day. It has become normal that these same places have doubled and sometimes tripled their portion size. The plus size stores poppinup as frequent as Wal Marts is normal. Having most all of your diet comprised of processed foods has become normal. Childhood obesity has become normal. Lack of exercise has become normal. Heart disease and diabetes and premature death due to obesity related problems has become normal.

    Now, let me ask you-do you want to be normal??? Hell to the No!!!! If that's normal then I'll split from the pack Thank You Very Much.

    Now, remember this: what your doing IS againt the grain. It IS againt the normal and you WILL find people everywhere that will critize you for it-because people who go against the grain get critized! People will make comments about you for a few different reasons: 1. they are jealous that YOU ARE DOING IT or 2. they want to be better then everyone else (like bullies) but don't want to put the work into being better themselves so the only other option is to make others look bad.

    So, the next time they tell you that what your doing is not normal you lift your head a little higher in the air, stick out your chin, look them in the eye, smile and say "thank you".
  • Sassyallday
    Sassyallday Posts: 136 Member
    "Congratulations, you're eating a normal lunch".

    Let me translate for you. What she really said was, "Finally! You are eating something that I would eat. So, for once, I don't have to question whether my food choices are healthy. "Cause any other day, watching you that damned hummus would make me feel like a pig!"

    Her comment did not deserve a response. Let her deal with her own food issues.
  • fuschiagirl99
    fuschiagirl99 Posts: 11 Member
    I have found that many people just don't want to do the work. Lets be honest, it is easier to be fat.
    I have a friend that basically told me she didn't want to hear about my healthy lifestyle changes. OK.
    Really she knows she needs to make some changes of her own. I am now just continuing to do what I do and
    the results speak for themselves. And guess what? Now she is talking about making some changes herself.
  • teamAmelia
    teamAmelia Posts: 1,247 Member
    Yep, that was rude. You were right in taking the high road. :)
  • kayemmgee5
    kayemmgee5 Posts: 86 Member
    Thanks to all the posters on this thread, I like reading different people's points of view and seeing the different ways to look at situations like this....Truly, thank you! I loved reading through all the comments and thought a few were extra funny. :)
  • msneave
    msneave Posts: 16
    It's weird how some days a comment like that can really bother you and other days it doesn't matter. I've had people bash my healthy eating habits since I was 18 years old so 25 years of hearing it from mom, dad, friends, boyfriends, co-workers, husbands, even my 14 years old son hassles me about what I eat some days. It never stops even when you're at your goal weight forever but it gets easier to deal with other people's negativity : ) and the best revenge ever is to just keep at it. When you finally look amazing (and you WILL if you keep eating healthy) some people will still say stupid nasty things but others will actually ask you for help or advice and that is the best feeling to know you're inspiring somebody else to get healthy too : )
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
    "Normal" is a fairly low standard to aspire to reach. I'd take that as a compliment that I usually function so much above average that others are surprised when I lower myself to their level. (Only half kidding.) :wink:
  • jetlag
    jetlag Posts: 800 Member
    WTF is a brat?

    Get out! Get out now! BLASPHEMY!!!!

    Or just tell me what it is? A bratwurst, as previously guessed at?

    In which case, gimme.

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