Paying my daughter to run....

CassandraBurgos83
CassandraBurgos83 Posts: 544 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
My daughter is your ordinary 10 yr old these days except she has scoliosis. Her scoliosis is minor and can be corrected some what with a chiropractor,basic exercise and targeted core work according to her physicians. That was not the news she wanted to hear because... she loves to be on her electronics of all types and not very active while having her momma's appetite. I had her playing soccer and she hated it bc she hates running, had her in soft ball and she thought it was boring and I was going to put her in gymnastics, but she kept breaking her right wrist... Since she has started 5th grade all she wants to do is come do her HW (which is great) and then watch TV or play games until bed... so last night I decided I need to do something different to try and motivate her. We went to the track and Oh my goodness she complained and came up with every excuse not to run until I offered to pay her $1 for every lap around the track. Light switched turned on and she immediately took off running and "Boom" 1 mile down.
Sooo next thing you know people were saying "How great it is that she likes to run" and "How long has she been running?" and when I told them what was going on they immediately changed their tune and told me I was a terrible person for making my 10 yr old exercise and how I was giving her an image complex.

Maybe I am in the wrong, but I feel as if it my responsibility to have her healthy in every aspect of her life, which should obviously include her over all health.
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Replies

  • bellaa_x0
    bellaa_x0 Posts: 1,062 Member
    my mom used to pay us $10 for every book we read when i was younger.. i loved reading so it was just a plus for me, but it was her way of trying to get my brother to read more.

    you're not a bad parent for doing this.. its just a little motivation.
  • nilbogger
    nilbogger Posts: 870 Member
    I don't see anything wrong with a good ol' bribe.
  • djshari
    djshari Posts: 513 Member
    I don't see anything wrong with that! A little incentive never hurts and she may end up loving it or just getting into a routine that makes it a habit for life.
  • NeverCatchYourBreath
    NeverCatchYourBreath Posts: 197 Member
    My dad used to pay me if I got on base during softball when I was 7 years old. I say go for it. If it motivates her. You're not scarring her for life or anything. I didn't grow up hating softball just because my dad paid me to do it when I was little. I also got paid for good grades.
  • zoodocgirl
    zoodocgirl Posts: 163 Member
    I personally think you have found a great solution, as long as it's handled well!

    I was one of those kids - my parents tried putting me in various team sports and I hated them all because I was already unathletic and kids at that age are mean and judgmental. I *wish* I had found some type of exercise that I liked (I did love going hiking with my family, if you have that available to you).

    If you tell her she's going to get sooooo skinny and pretty running, then yes, she's going to get an image complex and that's no bueno. But if her doctors have told you that exercise will help her very real medical condition, then you are doing exactly what you need to to ensure she lives a pain-free life. Perhaps you can pay her for some fun core work too (yoga class for kids and moms?). As long as you communicate to her that the exercise is for her health and well-being, and not just for looks, you're fine.

    My only suggestion would be sure you're running with her, not just watching from the sidelines on your iPhone, to set that good example.
  • tihi18
    tihi18 Posts: 102 Member
    I honestly think it's a great idea. There is a reason people use bribes....they work. You gave me an excellent idea to keep my girls motivated with exercise.
  • hananah89
    hananah89 Posts: 692 Member
    I say go for it, its important to her health. I see nothing wrong with it. I never got paid for things like good grades because it was just expected but we'd go out for ice cream or something like that. whatever works.
  • katimama
    katimama Posts: 191 Member
    I don't see anything wrong with giving her an incentive. You are her mother, you know what's best. You aren't making her do this out of vanity, but for her health. When I was growing up we were given money by our parents when we achieved good grades. I hated school and homework, but that kind of incentive motivated me.

    You know your child best and you sound like a caring and loving mother who wants what's best for her child. Hopefully as she see's the benefit of running she'll want to do it own her own or be interested in trying other sports or activities.
  • sudmom
    sudmom Posts: 202 Member
    There are soooo many sports that she might find fun. Vollleyball, soccer, tennis, softball, etc. It might be more fun than just running. Buuuuut if she doesn't want to do sports, you might check out all of the cool aps you can get for running. If she puts her exercise into a techy type of thing maybe she would have more fun with it. Check out the Zombie runnig ap. It is pretty cool. I think it is important to start young for kids to get into exercising. Maybe if you do it with her it would be fun too.
  • stacetherainbow
    stacetherainbow Posts: 131
    In my opinion, there's isn't anything wrong with the tact... unless you're explaining that she has to run in order to avoid being overweight or fat or whatever! Emphasizing fitness is the key. Maybe you can get her to do this long enough to become habit or more enjoyable. Maybe not. Maybe you provide her the incentive to find another alternative that she actually enjoys.
    Either way... sorry you had to be judged. We're not always nice to each other when we have opposing points of view :)
  • cindirookbanman
    cindirookbanman Posts: 71 Member
    You're not forcing her to run - you gave her an incentive and she TOOK it!! I define a bribe as "payment up front with an expectation of something to be done" - this is absolutely no different than paying your kids when they complete certain chores.

    I say good for you - and I hope she continues!
  • emmeylou
    emmeylou Posts: 175 Member
    Hello :) I want to say that how your described your daughter (minus the scoliosis) was ME to a "T". I detested running (and still do to be honest lol) with every fiber of my being. It just felt wrong and unnatural. I was most comfortable in a pool, the movement felt more natural to me. That may be an option for your daughter. Swimming (and not just fooling around, but laps and such) is great exercise, especially for your core.

    As for paying her to run? I don't see anything wrong with that. In fact I think it may have been one of the few things that may have motivated me to move when I was ten. I see it as no different than earning money for doing extra chores, except with an added health benefit. It may not motivate her forever, but it may help keep her focused long enough for her to get to the point where it is enjoyable.

    One of the reasons I hated running was because my muscles hurt for days afterwards (of course they did, i was exercising lol), but the reason I bring it up is so that you can help her with that. You may already be doing so, but show her how to stretch really well afterwards and maybe buy her some epson salts for her to soak in afterwards.
  • VeroniqueBoilard
    VeroniqueBoilard Posts: 71 Member
    If you encourage the "healthy" part and not the "weight loss" part, I see no problem doing that. Exercise has so many health benefits, but we all know that weight loss happen in the kitchen! So make sure all your family, don't single her out, eat healthy nutritious food and even if she doesn't lose weight she will be more healthy!
  • BeccaBollons
    BeccaBollons Posts: 652 Member
    I give my daughter 20p every day we cycle to school together- gives her a little bit of pocket money, and great exercise for us all.
    Kids that are not naturally active need some motivation to exercise- well don't we all? Mine is to look great (or better at least) but kids are really not bothered about that yet- they just want to not be bored!
  • VeroniqueBoilard
    VeroniqueBoilard Posts: 71 Member
    If you encourage the "healthy" part and not the "weight loss" part, I see no problem doing that. Exercise has so many health benefits, but we all know that weight loss happen in the kitchen! So make sure all your family, don't single her out, eat healthy nutritious food and even if she doesn't lose weight she will be more healthier!
  • camkuna
    camkuna Posts: 1 Member
    I use to pay my kids to try new vegetables (and other items). They now both have a reputation at school for always eating all their vegetables and they really do love them. No more incentives required either. I say if it works, go for it!
  • CartoonChris
    CartoonChris Posts: 10
    http://athlete.io/5343/why-women-should-not-run/
  • HeidiCooksSupper
    HeidiCooksSupper Posts: 3,831 Member
    I remember fondly the moneys I earned as a child doing things that were good for me anyway or to pay for things that were good for me -- like going to Girl Scout Camp. Back then, the charge for two weeks of overnight camp was $33. I spent the winter saving up that $33 so I could pay for camp. Meanwhile, of course, my parents were spending more than $33 on the equipment I needed but I was oblivious to that. I just knew that I was a strong, independent girl paying for camp myself.

    I think teaching kids what it takes to earn money is great training for real life. Chores are chores and we all need to learn to do them for free. No one pays us to clean our houses when we grow up. But choosing some activities to pay the kids for is not a bad idea at all.

    I'm retired but I still have the much beat up Cinderella watch I earned the money to buy, one nickle at a time, for every night my parents found me NOT sucking my thumb in my sleep. Funny the things that stay with us.

    Heidi (an old fart with scoliosis whose 90-year-old mother has it, too)
  • jrbb03092
    jrbb03092 Posts: 198 Member
    I don't see a problem with paying her although I wonder how long her excitement at the incentive will last.

    I was able to get my 13 yr old daughter walking with me on a daily basis by telling her that I needed her help to get healthy. She whined the first few days but after that she came straight home (during the school year) and expected to go for a walk with me. And as a bonus she really opens up about her day and tells me all the stuff I might not otherwise get out of her.
  • CassandraBurgos83
    CassandraBurgos83 Posts: 544 Member
    She told me this am that her goal was 25 laps a week lol..... I am going to be broke. I just hope that she learns to love it for the love of running and maybe if she is a better runner she will give sports another try. And mommy and daughter yoga classes sound like a winner :)
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    we get paid to work every day.

    as long as you are promoting a healthy lifestyle, I think you are ok.
  • piexcore
    piexcore Posts: 85 Member
    Um, people are super judgmental, and as someone who has done extensive a baby sitting and a nannying i can tell you right now, everyone bribes their children. Maybe they use trips, or books or extra tv time but its still a bribe so you should tell your critics to hop right off their moral high horse.
    Also, you aren't telling her to run because shes fat. Your trying to get her to exercise to combat scoliosis, and she doesn't like to exercise. I didn't like to exercise either when i was a child (if it wasn't dance class), because I wasn't very good at it. Maybe if you bribe her a little now, it'll build up her confidence in athletic ability and improve her stamina so later she will enjoy those team sports. Do what you have to do.


    [ IMG ]http://www.bubblews.com/assets/images/news/1518982711_1373269348.jpg [ /IMG ]
  • jaysull21
    jaysull21 Posts: 58
    I think we all need some kind of motivation. I have a ten year old daughter too, and that wouldn't motivate her as much as it would motivate my 8 year old son, but he loves running anyway. Not sure what I could get her to do to run, actually. :) Perhaps only if a large animal was chasing her... but even then......

    Anyway, as adults, we know why we are motivated. Kids for the most part don't have any reason to. I think as long as you are making sure that she knows that your reasoning is for her health, not for image concerns then I don't see where this is a problem.
  • itsscottwilder
    itsscottwilder Posts: 317
    I think the high priority is her health.

    I don't think it's wrong to offer money.

    But I think you need to know that in your daughter's mind; working out is not linked to her health and fitness. It's linked to money.
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
    Are you running with her? If not you should be. Kids learn the best by example, bribes are ok but will not sustain her in the long run. Doing an activity with Mom probably will.
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
    I have a 14 year old that's a but chunky (and a 17 year old that's not). I "make" him exercise - We run (couch to 5k at the moment) or cycle (10-15 miles) 3-4x a week, and we just got a family plan at a gym (I'd like to see him doing something like a full body nautilus circuit a couple-three times a week)

    He doesn't enjoy it. He wants to be on his computer. But I've had frank discussions with him about the life long impacts of going into your major growth spurt over weight. I was him at 14, and I ended up a 300lb adult. We've discussed that if he can exercise and be in shape as he grows, it's setting him up for a better chance of being an active, physically fit adult. If he doesn't he could end up like me, with a lifelong struggle with weight.

    I don't think we're giving our kids image complexes. I think we're letting them know the reality of of what it takes to be physically fit. In this day of computer games and more and more sedentary "activities", formal working out is going to have to be more of a reality for more kids. It used to be that we'd just go out and play - and I encourage that in my kids, but the reality is they;re spending more time in, and sitting than kids a generation ago did, and kids need to work out these days.

    ETA: I was addressing the "body image" comments, not the bribe issue. Bribes are cool. My boys play hockey - I pay them for assists, but will NOT pay them for goals (makes a selfish hockey player)
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    Well, first of all, you are doing it at the recommendation of her doctor for health reasons so I fail to see the reason that this would be bad...except of course if you do go broke in the process! Maybe tell her you will start off doing the $1 per lap but let her know that as she becomes more advanced that you will change the incentive. Maybe after "X" number of miles the two of you can do a race together (always hefty race fees, but you'll get a free t-shirt and that might motivate her). Or "X" number of miles and any other reward she'd be interested in.
  • alliemarie77
    alliemarie77 Posts: 378 Member
    I see nothing wrong with paying her for her laps. It's like paying her for her chores. Whatever drives her motivation to keep her healthy.
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
    As long as you are doing this to motivate her for her health and to help correct her scoliosis, I see nothing wrong with this. If you were on the sidelines calling her Fatty McGee or something, that would be an entirely different situation.
  • hep26000
    hep26000 Posts: 156 Member
    I also see nothing wrong with it.
    Good job momma- you have her best interest at heart. I do agree with some other pp's- I feel it would benefit both of you if you are running with her. I also think maybe you can explore swimming or another activity she might actually enjoy. But maybe she will start to like running as this goes on.

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