Cooking for a boyfriend on a bulk.

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  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    I don't have the right mind-set to consider that to be okay. If it were up to him he would eat pasta for lunch and dinner every day.

    if he's trying to bulk that soudns fine!

    it sounds like YOU want him to bulk and eat different things, but its not up to you, its up to him....
  • lessthan60
    lessthan60 Posts: 19
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    I don't have the right mind-set to consider that to be okay. If it were up to him he would eat pasta for lunch and dinner every day.

    if he's trying to bulk that soudns fine!

    it sounds like YOU want him to bulk and eat different things, but its not up to you, its up to him....

    He's the one who asks me to cook him food that will help him bulk but in the end when I suggest something for him to eat he doesn't want to try it and asks for something he already knows. I am perfectly fine with the way he is now but he says he wants to be big and strong. Also considering he has eaten Italian food all his life and hasn't gained any weight from it, I think the thing to do now is to try to cook something different than he's used to in order to help him gain the weight he's wanted to gain for years.
  • lessthan60
    lessthan60 Posts: 19
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    I don't see how everyone is jumping on me like I'm the one who's wrong, I just want to help him in any way that I can since what he's eating now clearly isn't working and he's still underweight. Yes his mother's typical food is boring but mostly because it's the same foods all the time and as I stated earlier, it isn't working for the goals he says he wants to achieve!

    Also for those who don't understand the vegetarian thing, he decided he would rather hunt for animal protein rather than buy meat at the grocery store. He doesn't want to eat meat he didn't kill himself. Since he doesn't hunt at the moment, what else would you consider that type of diet to be?
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
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    He's the one who asks me to cook him food that will help him bulk but in the end when I suggest something for him to eat he doesn't want to try it and asks for something he already knows. I am perfectly fine with the way he is now but he says he wants to be big and strong. Also considering he has eaten Italian food all his life and hasn't gained any weight from it, I think the thing to do now is to try to cook something different than he's used to in order to help him gain the weight he's wanted to gain for years.

    You do realize that bulking is about the number of calories, right? Not about the type of cuisine......

    A person can bulk on Italian food, German food, American food, French food, Chinese food, etc, etc, etc.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    I don't have the right mind-set to consider that to be okay. If it were up to him he would eat pasta for lunch and dinner every day.

    if he's trying to bulk that soudns fine!

    it sounds like YOU want him to bulk and eat different things, but its not up to you, its up to him....

    He's the one who asks me to cook him food that will help him bulk but in the end when I suggest something for him to eat he doesn't want to try it and asks for something he already knows. I am perfectly fine with the way he is now but he says he wants to be big and strong. Also considering he has eaten Italian food all his life and hasn't gained any weight from it, I think the thing to do now is to try to cook something different than he's used to in order to help him gain the weight he's wanted to gain for years.

    but obviously he doesnt think that.... just cook him MORE of the stuff he already eats... he will only try new things when he wants to... you cant make him.

    i know its not what you want to hear but there is no way of making him do what you think is best... apart from refusing sex until he eats all his dinner like a good boy - but that might just make your relationship weird!
  • monjacq1964
    monjacq1964 Posts: 291 Member
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    why are you trying so hard to "make" him do something he truly doesnt want to do? he knows where the kitchen is, doesnt he?
    ^^This^^ My boyfriend didn't know how to cook when we first got together because his Mother didn't *trust* him in the kitchen. Once I gave him free reign to play and experiment, I'm sitting back and seriously enjoying the concoctions he comes up with now!

    I don't have the right mind-set to consider that to be okay. If it were up to him he would eat pasta for lunch and dinner every day.

    so he's just a child and needs to be told what to eat? poor baby... glad he's yours and not mine.
  • rsalty
    rsalty Posts: 68 Member
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    He's the one who asks me to cook him food that will help him bulk but in the end when I suggest something for him to eat he doesn't want to try it and asks for something he already knows. I am perfectly fine with the way he is now but he says he wants to be big and strong. Also considering he has eaten Italian food all his life and hasn't gained any weight from it, I think the thing to do now is to try to cook something different than he's used to in order to help him gain the weight he's wanted to gain for years.

    Then cook instead of talking about cooking.

    In the scene you described here, he's objecting to an idea, and if your description is correct, the idea is one he is not prepared to imagine. The aroma a good meal is far more convincing than any description of a good meal. And afterwards, he *can* imagine that meal, you can ask him how he liked it, and adjust course from there.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I don't see how everyone is jumping on me like I'm the one who's wrong, I just want to help him in any way that I can since what he's eating now clearly isn't working and he's still underweight. Yes his mother's typical food is boring but mostly because it's the same foods all the time and as I stated earlier, it isn't working for the goals he says he wants to achieve!

    Also for those who don't understand the vegetarian thing, he decided he would rather hunt for animal protein rather than buy meat at the grocery store. He doesn't want to eat meat he didn't kill himself. Since he doesn't hunt at the moment, what else would you consider that type of diet to be?

    because he's a big baby and you aren't helping. You're facilitating.

    let him fend for himself. I think he sounds absolutely ridiculous to be honest- both of you do. You sound like you want to live in the 50's... he needs to learn to take care of himself. Cook what you want- and if he likes it- he'll eat it. If not- he'll find something else.

    You are ENABLING. It's like trying to *help* the person with a *bad leg* when all the help they really need is for people to leave them alone so they will get out of bed and learn to walk on their own again.
  • GGDaddy
    GGDaddy Posts: 289 Member
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    Also for those who don't understand the vegetarian thing, he decided he would rather hunt for animal protein rather than buy meat at the grocery store. He doesn't want to eat meat he didn't kill himself.

    OMG. OP is dating Mark Zuckerberg!

    http://postcards.blogs.fortune.cnn.com/2011/05/26/mark-zuckerbergs-new-challenge-eating-only-what-he-kills/

    "When he's not too busy connecting people across the universe, Mark Zuckerberg is pursuing a new "personal challenge," as he calls it. "The only meat I'm eating is from animals I've killed myself," says the Facebook founder and CEO.

    It's an odd dietary direction for the 27-year-old Internet billionaire, but since he has taken to killing goats, pigs and chickens, "I'm eating a lot healthier foods. And I've learned a lot about sustainable farming and raising of animals," he says. "It's easy to take the food we eat for granted when we can eat good things every day."
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    why are you trying so hard to "make" him do something he truly doesnt want to do? he knows where the kitchen is, doesnt he?
    ^^This^^ My boyfriend didn't know how to cook when we first got together because his Mother didn't *trust* him in the kitchen. Once I gave him free reign to play and experiment, I'm sitting back and seriously enjoying the concoctions he comes up with now!

    I don't have the right mind-set to consider that to be okay. If it were up to him he would eat pasta for lunch and dinner every day.

    If he's trying to bulk then eating pasta for every meal is a good idea. Just make sure he's also getting a decent amount of protein and fat in there as well. Vegetarian sources would be: whole eggs, full fat dairy, beans, lentils, hummus, extra virgin olive oil. That sounds quite a lot like Italian and other Mediterranean food to me....
  • iceflow
    iceflow Posts: 17 Member
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    He must cook for himself then! What guy doesn't like a nice home cooked meal !

    Seriously make him eat Ramen noodles while you enjoy a hearty meal .
    /thread.

    this
  • AnninStPaul
    AnninStPaul Posts: 1,372 Member
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    He's a vegetarian and a momma's boy. I would say get rid of him.

    All Italians are momma's boys.

    I've never heard of an Italian momma who cooks badly....
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    I know you want to take care of him but there is a line of taking care of him as a man and partner and taking care of him like a child.

    After reading this thread, it's become obvious that you two aren't that compatible. I think you should find someone whose food interests are more varied and let him find happiness with someone who won't try to change him into something/someone he just doesn't want to be.
  • WhataBroad
    WhataBroad Posts: 1,091 Member
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    Crap like this is why I will never, ever live with a boyfriend. My honest advice is move out and give him some room to learn how to take care of himself. Normally on these threads, I would say "He's a grown man. Stop trying to make him eat things he doesn't like." But your boyfriend doesn't sound like a grown man to me. And he's not going to become one if you keep doing ridiculous things like researching what to feed him.

    *slow hand clap*
  • jenmarqueiro
    jenmarqueiro Posts: 61 Member
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    my boyfriend is 6ft 3inches and on a bulk. he has to eat 4000 calories a day roughly. for breakfast he has cooked breakfast with potatoes and such, making up about 500 calories or more. then for lunch tomato pasta with Quorn chicken pieces - amazing. and use the pieces for curries and everything too. Also he has shakes and is going to have mass gaining shakes soon too. and nuts and yogurts.

    He has managed to put on 15lb in 2 months! This is someone who has struggled to gain weight for years, but this has worked for him! Quorn products are amazing. High protein, low fat for most as well. seriously look into it - that's if you like fake meat products! aha

    That sounds really effective! My boyfriend's stats are similar except he's 6'8" and 155lbs. Is your boyfriend doing exercise as well?

    at the moment yeah he is. he is doing a hypertrophy weight routine 5 days a week. and he has an active job, 5 split shifts a week as a kitchen porter so on his toes from 8:30am - midday then back at work 6:30pm - 10pm normally. he is a member on here if you want to look at his diary or add him/message him. his name is thio189 :) im sure he would be more than happy to help!
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    He must cook for himself then! What guy doesn't like a nice home cooked meal !

    Seriously make him eat Ramen noodles while you enjoy a hearty meal .
    /thread.

    this

    double this
    Crap like this is why I will never, ever live with a boyfriend. My honest advice is move out and give him some room to learn how to take care of himself. Normally on these threads, I would say "He's a grown man. Stop trying to make him eat things he doesn't like." But your boyfriend doesn't sound like a grown man to me. And he's not going to become one if you keep doing ridiculous things like researching what to feed him.

    and this- with the added slow hand clapping.

    Mine was living at home for a while (I know I know) and there is just a point where it's you at home with your family or you on your own with me. I'm not even going to lie. I didn't say it like that I just told him he I was done.

    Fast forward... we are back together and he's functioning (well sort of) on his own- in his own place- taking care of his own things- paying rent and doing adult things- and learning how to cook- and pre-portion and you know- be an adult.

    It's frustrating- but I totally agree- you gotta stand on your own- it's great to do things as a couple- but if he won't eat what you cook- he does his own thing. Mine thankfully likes steak- as do I- I eat low carb- he is high- so we usually make some veggies- mostly for me- and some sweet mashed taters- mostly for him. We function just fine and maybe one day we can actually co-habitat- but nope nope nope- living on your own and functioning on your own is part of the deal.
  • bcf7683
    bcf7683 Posts: 1,653 Member
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    why are you trying so hard to "make" him do something he truly doesnt want to do? he knows where the kitchen is, doesnt he?
    ^^This^^ My boyfriend didn't know how to cook when we first got together because his Mother didn't *trust* him in the kitchen. Once I gave him free reign to play and experiment, I'm sitting back and seriously enjoying the concoctions he comes up with now!

    I don't have the right mind-set to consider that to be okay. If it were up to him he would eat pasta for lunch and dinner every day.

    Then LET HIM. Why are you trying to hard to baby him? If he wants to be that picky then make him cook for himself and watch you eat your yummy dinner while he slurps up a pile of noodles three times a day. You can't change someone who blatantly doesn't give a *kitten*. Stop trying to act like his mom.
  • sophiercook
    sophiercook Posts: 46 Member
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    I don't think it's babying him. My bf can't cook at all but that's fine by me as I'm pretty protective over my kitchen! Mushrooms are generally my go to for filling up dinners. Dan's personal fave is chicken, halloumi and mushroom skewers with cous cous. He'd never had cous cous before but now he's addicted. You can easily make these veggie by cutting the chicken :)
  • sophiercook
    sophiercook Posts: 46 Member
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    Ooh and roasted stuffed portobellos! Garlic, cheese, onion and breadcrumbs. Yummy
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
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    My husband was a very picky eater when we first met. He was a meat and potatoes kind of man, and getting him to try any vegetables or salad was an effort in futility.
    However, after 16 years together, he not only eats veggies, he goes back for seconds. When introducing new foods, a person has to taste it 16-20 times before their palette will enjoy the new flavor.

    Humans are eating machines. That is our evolutionary advantage: we can eat and enjoy just about anything. Unlike most species, we are highly adaptable to new foods.

    I guilted my husband into trying new foods. I'd tell him that his son will emulate his behavior, so he better eat his veggies if he expects the child to eat veggies, too. I also used the line, "I worked so hard to try to make something you will like. Please, at least try it."

    Once he tried something, if the response was at least "meh" I'd just keep preparing the food with minor adjustments in seasonings (usually pumping up the fat and salt content to make it more appealing). My husband loves sriracha and soy sauce, so I made foods that he'd normally reject with an Asian flavor.

    If he couldn't stand the food to the point of spitting it out, I'd just stop trying to serve that item. He had a mental block against it, and there was little chance I'd get him to try again at a later time. If it's something that I just absolutely adore (like mushrooms), I'd just order those foods when we were at restaurants, so I don't feel deprived.

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