What is WRONG with people?!?!
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Let's not call it "non-support", but altternative support. I'm sure the person meant well, so take it for what it probably was and maybe don't let it get deeper than that. Unless they are a close friend, take it all with a grain of salt.
As far as your goal I am 100% with you. I used to weigh 330 lbs and would never have considered back then that I would be a runner. I am down to 242 and though I might not consider myself a runner, I do run. My knees still cannot stand the regular pounding without me being in some form of pain the next day. But I live in an area surrounded by hills and mountains and I love to get in them and run. I am currently training for a 5k obstacle course mud run (runforyourlives.com). I have a goal to lose 15 lbs or so this month because I know that getting the extra weight off will have a significant impact on how well I can do the course.
It seems to me that you have a good plan. I like that you have a plan that is less about weight and more about preparedness for the run. It can be self-defeating sometimes to have too much focus on weight loss rather than progress or fitness.
Keep it up!0 -
There is actually a study that says that if you discuss your goals and plans you are less likely to achieve them. After reading an article about that study, I've kept mum about my plans and goals.
I'm about to reach a milestone this weekend. I'll share the info after the fact, though. I haven't told anyone what I'm up to, and I'm approaching my goal much faster than I would have guessed.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2009/05/12/talking-the-talk.html
Interesting article. Thanks for posting! Our sense of identity plays out in so many ways...0 -
That's why I keep my exercise/diet/healthy living "statuses" to MFP.0
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I have a rule for FB. If I post something, and you post a comment that I don't like, I delete it. You can do that, you know- you can delete anything that's posted to your wall. For instance, I have "friends" that sometimes will turn my remarks into political discussions. Sometimes I'm up for it and don't mind debating, but sometimes I just don't want to deal with it, so I just delete the annoying comment.
Had you deleted the first comment, the person who was pushing you would get the idea. If not, deleting their subsequent comments would get the point across. If they protested that you hurt their feelings, just inform them that what they were commenting was not what you were looking for, and leave it at that.0 -
I thought if you told people your goals you were MORE likely to reach them. That's what I've heard anyway. I don't know.
That's the way I am. If I keep it to myself, it's easier to cheat. If I tell the people around me, I don't want to say one thing and do something else, so I stick to the diet.
I rode 25 miles on my bicycle yesterday. I planned to stop for one beer at a pub about halfway through. As it turned out there was a promotion going on and lots of friends were there, having lots of beers. I settled down at a table with some friends and told them I was just there for one beer because I was on an exercise ride. I ended up staying longer than I wanted to, but I stuck to the one beer, and even resisted a slice of pizza that was offered to me.
When I weighed in another pound lighter this morning, I was glad I'd told my friends that I wasn't there to party, and stuck with it.0 -
Hi,
I like your goals! I think that it is totally reasonable to do what you can to lose as much weight as you can first and then formulate a plan to reach your goals.
My city has a mini-marathon that I am thinking about participating in next year (May). I have been making goals to improve my cardio and have decreased my treadmill time from 16.7 miles/minute to 11.02 miles per minute (in a year's time). I picked up a couple of runner's magazine to get inspiration and training ideas..
Facebook, in my estimation, is a terrible place to post fitness goals. MFP is the place! Lots of knowledgeable and supportive people here.
Good luck in achieving your goals.0 -
That's a great long term goal, but people tend to think in the short term and have a hard time thinking of you other than you are at this point in time. They are most likely projecting that THEY could never achieve anything requiring that amount of work and dedication and don't want you to feel bad if you don't succeed as they surely wouldn't.
We all also default to short term when the long term goals don't seem to be quite within reach like when we slide or plateau, so it's good to have a few short term milestones that you can reach along the way. Those are also the ones you may want to share with your friends and social networking so you don't get kind of push back you experienced.
My main long term goal was to be able to do 15 or more pull ups. I've never been able to do more than maybe 5 or so chin ups when I was a lot younger and pull ups are definitely harder than chin ups. If I told my friends (also in their late 40s & 50s) that was my goal back when I was at 32+% body fat and a 40+ inch waist, they would have acted as if I said I wanted to climb mount Everest in record time. And realistically, I knew that dropping a good 40 lbs and getting my body fat down in the mid 20s were the minimal first steps before even seriously think about trying to successfully do pull ups. It's been eight months and I did drop 40 pounds and did get down to 24% body fat. My friends are totally blown away at that progress when all I told them were my intermediate goals; go from obese to overweight, go from overweight to normal range, and to fit back in my old clothes. My old clothes are now too big and I had to buy some new clothes, and I've been consistently building strength by lifting weights and other workouts to keep lowering body fat and achieve my long term goals. I'll be working in some chin ups soon and then sharing my 15 pull up goal won't seem anywhere as far fetched to anyone as it would have eight months or a year ago.0 -
What is it that makes some people think they know what's best for everyone?
They're worse when they mean well. "You should try my hairdresser!" "You should see my doctor!" "You should make sauce exactly the way I make it!" "All my things are awesome, try my things, which I like!"
REALLY? You actually KNOW my sister in law?? LOL0 -
I dont post anything about my fitness or diet on facebook unless I have acheived something awesome. I use MFP for everything fitness and diet related0
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Okay, so earlier this evening I posted the following status on my Facebook page: "Okay, so I want to be able to run a 5K by next June. I've never been a runner. Even as a child I avoided running if at all possible, but now I am seeing this as something I'd like to start. I don't know if I'll sign up for an actual race, and I don't know if it will take me that long to be fit enough to do it, I may be ready before then. I'll officially start the couch to 5k plan in April if all goes well, but in the meantime I am working on losing as much weight as I can, I'd really like to be under 200 before I start the couch to 5k plan. So for now I'm continuing with T25 and lots of walking, plus counting every calorie that I consume. I guess I am officially in training now, but the first phase of the training is just general fitness, and the actual running training will begin when I am fit enough to do so without hurting myself."
Now, instead of just getting encouraging likes and "you can do it" remarks, I get someone trying to talk me into doing it sooner, or doing a half marathon instead. I reply to them, "I weigh 254 pounds, and have a foot injury that flares up when my weight gets higher than 230. I want to take the time to lose 55 pounds before I even start the running phase of the training."
And they continue to try to "encourage me" to push myself harder and go for it sooner.
I reply again, "What I am planning is to continue watching what I eat and working out for September - March or April that's 7-8 months, at around a 2 pound loss per week I'd be able to lose 56 pounds in 7 months, so I did put thought into the timing of the running. I want to be under 200 pounds before I ask my foot to take the pounding running will put on it."
Then they finally suggest walking a 5k... well, I walk not 5 kilometers, but 5 miles EVERY DAY, sometimes more. So walking a 5K isn't really a goal to aim for, I've exceeded that long ago. I want to take it slow and work up to running so that I don't injure myself and become unable to work out at all, is that so hard to understand?
What is it that makes some people think they know what's best for everyone?
I think it's the title of your post that I find slightly offensive...better yet to ask "what is wrong with me?" before assuming any one individual can speak to "what's wrong" with anyone else. That said, I don't use FB, but was wondering...did you clarify that all comments need to be "encouraging likes and "you can do it" remarks" on your FB wall? If I post a comment in a public forum, I EXPECT to get a range of comments because it's a public forum. Just sayin'...0 -
If you don't like what people have to say then take them off your facebook. That being said, you don't really have room to get upset at people for posting their public opinions. Just unfriend them.
ANYWAY, running isn't all that high impact if you barely pick your feet up, which, if you watch, is what most long distance runners do. So you could probably jog (which people tend to call run) a little bit and it wouldn't hurt your foot. I think it just sounds like you're already giving up before you're even giving it a chance by saying you can't run until you get your weight down.0 -
I know just what you mean! I am doing something very similar to you; right now I am concentrating in getting 40lbs off before I start any NEW type of exercise so that I can get under the 200 lb mark where I feel I will have a fighting chance. People who can't relate don't understand that just establishing a calorie counted, healthy meal plan and really sticking to it is the foundation of the process. Once we have that nailed and it's not a daily battle to stick to it and we get some initial weight off we'll have the energy and motivation to establish the fitness part of the equation.
Like you, I have never been a runner but I harbour a fantasy of me jogging effortlessly down the street, rather than looking like a Teletubby held hostage in Spandex.
I say good luck to you! You have already lost a substantial amount of weight and are walking a considerable distance daily.Sounds like you'll be there in no time at all. Best Wishes.0 -
I agree with the majority here. If you post your business on a public site, then you are giving permission for everyone to share their thoughts and opinions whether you want to hear them or not. Personally, from what you are saying, this person was probably trying to encourage you. It may have come across pushy, but I would much rather get a comment back like that, than someone to comment saying, "just give up, you suck". I also think the the pushiness can be a motivator. At least it has been for me at times. I post my fitness plans, goals all the time on FB and I might not agree with what people are saying, so I just brush it off vesus letting it get to me. At the end of the day, with all the advice, you are only going to do what you want to do, or what you think is best for you. Who cares about all the other unsolicited opinions. Good luck with your 5K. I hate running, so I envy that you're even attempting this.
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I don't know. There are a lot of people who say "I'd like to be able to run a 5k later" They either need a bit of a push now, or should simply be ignored until they get out there for their first run. I'm not sure what you were looking for by posting that you'd like to attempt to start running in April.
Because, as I said in the original post, my training starts now. The first, and longest phase of the training is to continue regular walking and strength training, along with swimming and other activities, and to lose weight. The final phase of the training will be actually following the C5K plan.
But that's not running. That's just exercising and losing weight. If I were your friend, I would be on board with supporting your exercise and weight loss, but I'm not supporting you with running until you're a runner.*
*And my definition of a "runner" is anybody who runs, no matter how slowly, new, etc. For instance, if you've laced up your shoe and did the 30 second run of the C25k program, you are a runner.0 -
Just a person who doesn't quite get it trying to help.0
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ANYWAY, running isn't all that high impact if you barely pick your feet up, which, if you watch, is what most long distance runners do. So you could probably jog (which people tend to call run) a little bit and it wouldn't hurt your foot. I think it just sounds like you're already giving up before you're even giving it a chance by saying you can't run until you get your weight down.
You know, you're doing EXACTLY the same thing the OP was complaining about.
I totally get where the OP is coming from. I lost a bunch of weight a few years ago, and tried exercise. I found it extremely uncomfortable to even brisk walk until I lost about 30-40 lb. My wife has starting cycling with me, and although her issues aren't really weight related, she's had to go into it really gradually. She has past and current knee problems, fibromyalgia, AND asthma, so she can't push very hard (or to put it another way, what is "pushing really hard" for her is barely moving for me.)
But I can appreciate the effort she's making and try to support her. Just like the OP, who's doing what she can to lose some weight so she can exercise eventually. Do what you have to; it's your body and you know what it's telling you.0 -
ANYWAY, running isn't all that high impact if you barely pick your feet up, which, if you watch, is what most long distance runners do. So you could probably jog (which people tend to call run) a little bit and it wouldn't hurt your foot. I think it just sounds like you're already giving up before you're even giving it a chance by saying you can't run until you get your weight down.
Really? Running is low impact? Can you please tell that to my joints, because they seem to be under the mistaken impression that it is hard on them.0 -
ANYWAY, running isn't all that high impact if you barely pick your feet up, which, if you watch, is what most long distance runners do. So you could probably jog (which people tend to call run) a little bit and it wouldn't hurt your foot. I think it just sounds like you're already giving up before you're even giving it a chance by saying you can't run until you get your weight down.
Really? Running is low impact? Can you please tell that to my joints, because they seem to be under the mistaken impression that it is hard on them.
You're not doing it right.0 -
ANYWAY, running isn't all that high impact if you barely pick your feet up, which, if you watch, is what most long distance runners do. So you could probably jog (which people tend to call run) a little bit and it wouldn't hurt your foot. I think it just sounds like you're already giving up before you're even giving it a chance by saying you can't run until you get your weight down.
Really? Running is low impact? Can you please tell that to my joints, because they seem to be under the mistaken impression that it is hard on them.
You're not doing it right.
Ha! ^^^this. Also, I started running (sure that I was going to fail eventually) at 220 pounds.0 -
Wait, so encouraging you to run earlier than you think you ought to is reverse encouragement? That makes no sense. Good luck on your goals.0
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I think it's an awesome goal! Can I give you one piece of advice? Don't wait until xx lbs to sign up for a race, pick your date next year and sign up right now. Had I not signed up for a race, I would have given up on week 4 of c25k. That was the only thing that kept me from throwing in the towel.
I start running around 200 lbs (on a 5'3" midget!) and it was so hard. Every day I ran I just knew would be the day I quit it. But let me tell you, its all in your mind. So when you start, learn the difference between pain/soreness vs hurting. If something hurts, stop. If your muscles are sore or you get a pain in your side, it's all mind over matter and you gotta push through.
I would never be where I am today had it not been for running. I love everything it does for me, physically and mentally. Something I can't get from any other exercise.
I believe you will do this and I'm rooting for you!:drinker:0 -
That was rude of your friend to give you unsolicited advice. I woulda totally just rolled my eyes and hid you from my feed.0
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Opinions are a**holes everyone has one and they are usually stinky. But from what you said, it seemed like they were genuinely trying to help. It seems like you just wanted support, and encouragement. On FB you are going to find opinions.
:ohwell:0 -
Not trying to be rude but the foot issues sound like a bit of an excuse. I don't doubt that you have problems, but if you can already walk 5+ miles on rough terrain and are doing T25, there's no reason your body and your foot can't handle running. I've sprained my ankle a couple times, and I've had back and hip problems since I was injured as a child. My hip pops with every step I take. When I finally got fitted for good running shoes and stopped using my injuries as a crutch, I found that they didn't actually bother me while running the way I thought they would. I started c25k at 238. I'm still only down to 225, but I run 4 miles at a time, and I'm starting training on Monday to increase to 10 miles straight then half-marathon training. Sometimes you have to push yourself a little to get where you want to go. You can't get to a better place if you don't move. It's amazing what your body can do when you let it do it.
I found your friend to be more supportive than people that simply say "way to go!" or "you can do it!" without actually taking the time to think about it.
I have no doubt that you'll achieve your goals of running a full 5k by June. Good luck!0 -
My dad is like that a little. It's like he wants me to lose the weight all at once or super fast or to eat perfect ( never eating sweets). None of those things are going to happen. I have my own personal goals which are not small but they were kind of sidetracked by some health issues my husband is having right now. I am getting on track again but I am more willing to take breaks to eat normally
( but also counting calories so I can maintain) and times for losing weight. If it takes a few years that is fine. I would like to be 240 by May/June of next year.0 -
Just get off Facebook. It causes so many problems and so much drama.. I deleted mine a while ago.0
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People do not know what is best for you. When you post a goal and give yourself so much time to just start running, jogging, speed walking or what ever they feel like you are stalling and giving yourself a reason not to do the work (ie. run, jog, or speed walk). Failure is easy. Not trying is easy. Making every excuse in the book as to why you can not do something is easy. If you truly have a goal then work towards it. Start slow if you have to but if you only do short bursts of running for 10 seconds at a time and build up from there you will run. If you can not run for 10 seconds then I am sorry you just don't want to run. I will bet you anything that that you can do it if you want. I myself started at 305. I ran at 305. I have many injuries from college football. I have wounds from the military, scars, bad knees, etc. You name it I have had it. I have a major shoulder injury right now. I will have an operation on Tuesday. Guess what I am still running and losing weight. So please, I you post something here be real. People here want to help, they want you to lose the weight and make your goals. If you ***** at them because you are selling yourself short then the problem really is yours not the people you are fussing about. You have to want it to do it. The way you act with I will do it later when I am ready is bunk. You know it and the fake oh my bad toe, foot, knee, side, back etc. will not make any reasonable person see it other wise. So if you really want to run you will. If you don't find another goal that yo will do and stop griping!0
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Crista and Charley rock!!!0
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