i have absolutely no will power..

I used to, idk what happen. I have none. no will power at all. I can't stay away from everything awful, I can't control my appetite. my love for candy & sugary things. I can't even cut my portions.. I don't like fruit, with the exception of watermelon, and sometimes bananas.. I just have no motivation to start..

I can't get started.. why?

i'm at my highest weight EVER. 319... 319!! :(


I eat because i'm sad, i'm sad because I eat.

idk what to do, what to try, who to turn to..

I could get adipex but i'm terrified of everything, esp. pharmaceuticals.

someone help? someone tell me they've been through this, and have gotten through this.

I need something. I didn't know where else to go.

I haven't even been taking care of myself with the exception if hygiene. no make up, no dressing up.. I feel bloated like a blimp constantly.. what's the point?


today will be long.
«1345

Replies

  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    well get some!
    get out there are kick some butt!
    its all about willpower!
    DO IT!
  • I would, but I don't know where to find it.. where do I get that from?

    how do I get started?

    I don't even know how to make a plan.
  • In all truth it's more about habit than will power. Losing weight is a journey of effort so start small. What are two things you can change? Could you start drinking more water, become more active? If you have time google Michael Mosley and watch his documentaries on exercise, weight lose and fasting. Each documentary is about 1hour.
  • irishpinks
    irishpinks Posts: 1 Member
    Start with small goals, for week one, try to eliminate something like chips and replace it with a 20 minute walk. If that works then add to it the following week. Remember only to focus on the small goals - otherwise it can be overwhelming.
  • qtgonewild
    qtgonewild Posts: 1,930 Member
    pray. you have to want this bad. the motivation has to come from within. and when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired. youll make the change.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    You've made the first step in admitting you have a problem and a desire to change it. Now you need to put a plan in place. First step IMHO is figuring out what changed. It's there in your mind somewhere, you just have to keep thinking about it and identify the reason. And it might be rough because it probably has something to do with why you're sad but you have to face it. Maybe even consider therapy.

    For me, one of my big hurdles was figuring out why every diet attempt I'd made had failed. It took a few months of thinking about it but it finally hit me that I was a foodie and trying to avoid certain things just wasn't going to work. I had to change my thinking to what I can't have vs what I could have but in a healthier way and/or in smaller portions. Once I started experimenting with favorite recipes or finding new versions of old favorites, it became easier.

    Keep a journal, write down all your thoughts, goals, etc.
  • LizL217
    LizL217 Posts: 217 Member
    Unfortunately there's no secret source of will power. Every single person on this site who has been successful had to make the decision to become a healthier person. It's incredibly simple, but that doesn't make it easy. You have to decide that becoming healthier is worth your effort (believe me, it is), and then you have to just hunker down and do it. No tricks, no gimmicks, no pills, no "kick starts" or whatever else.

    Look at every decision you make as a chance to make yourself healthier. Watch TV or take a walk? Eat a side dish of french fries or fresh vegetables? Drink a large Coke or a bottle of water? One decision at a time. Sometimes you'll make unhealthy decisions, but that doesn't mean you're a failure. It's just a detour, you can always get back on track.

    Start small, making one change at a time. It's easier to get long-term, sustainable results if you don't try to drastically change your lifestyle all at once.

    And develop a healthier relationship with food and exercise, and with yourself. You may want to seek counseling if you feel that there are fundamental psychological issues that are causing you to overeat. For me personally, I didn't develop a healthy sense of self-esteem until I stopped worrying about how I looked and started worrying about making myself healthier and stronger. Maybe that's what you need as well.

    Good luck!
  • echofm1
    echofm1 Posts: 471 Member
    I've definitely been in the same boat as you. I call it the "EAT ALL THE THINGS" mentality. Kind of like I'm looking to fill a craving, but I don't know what that craving is?

    First, do you like popcorn? Because if you do, even if it's not what you're craving it's a great filler and fairly low calorie-wise.

    Second, if you're not sure how to start making a plan, have you tried seeing a nutritionist? They can definitely help with that. I was worried when I first saw one that they'd be judgmental and pushy like the doctor, but she ended up being great. I can't wait to see her again next month.

    Third, the thing that helped me the most when I started was planning out my day the night before. Log everything you're going to eat, snacks and all. Make sure to include some things in there that are things you can't live without. Mine was pop. I have to make sure to add pop into my calories, or I'm sure I wouldn't have made it this far. Don't spend time in the kitchen or even go to the fridge unless you're going to get the things that are on your list. If you have someone else in your house that makes things for you, or can help to support you, ask them for help in controlling your eating. I know I had a roommate once who just gave me all her trigger items (when I wasn't dieting) and had me hide them in my room.

    You can do this, but you need to find something that really hits you. Think of something you want to change, and why. A few months ago I had to ask for a seatbelt extender on a plane -- I never want to do that again. You can do this. If you'd like to add me as a friend for support, feel free :)
  • I can sympathize! I have no will power either when it comes to food. I've been better since I started watching my calories. I'm getting to the point where I am not eating (or not as much) when I am not technically hungry. But I definately understand on the candy and sugary things....if it's there, I want it!

    Once my body got used to less calories, it is a lot easier to avoid eating when I'm not hungry and just bored. If you think you're hungry, drink some water first then ask yourself again if you are truly hunger. Have a few treats but start limiting yourself. Yes, it is VERY hard at first. But once your body gets used to not having that stuff as much, you won't crave it as bad. And it only gets easier. You said you don't like fruit? How about veggies? I usually have cauliflower and carrots with dill dip everyday for a snack. Fills me up between meals and is healthy. Or I snack on lowfat motz cheese sticks a lot.

    Stick with it. You'll feel so much better as you start to eat healther and shed the pounds. Also, start exercising. Even if it's just a walk around the block at first. I hate exercising and sweating. But I have started doing at least 20 minutes a day and it makes me feel so much better after I do it.

    Even if you have a bad night and eat a ton of extra calories (which I have done many times), just remember that that does not make or break you. Just realize that you are still learning and get back on track. You can do this!

    You can do this!
  • Dionnasthree
    Dionnasthree Posts: 1 Member
    I lost my way also but I have begun to do the baby steps back. I'm drinking water a little more even if it just four ounces at a time. It was more than I had previously done which was nothing. Change is just that.....It doesn't happen instantly.
  • I feel exactly like you. I do want to change. Starting today I am trying to get healthy for myself and my family. My mom told me yesterday that she has lost a few pounds. Her athritis is so bad she can barely do anything. If she can do it, I can too. I wish I had an answer for emotional eating. I suffer from that too. Try logging all your food choices today - good or bad. Then see if there is one meal today that you could make healthier tomorrow. Try a small step. You can do it. I can too.
  • socioseguro
    socioseguro Posts: 1,679 Member
    Unfortunately there's no secret source of will power. Every single person on this site who has been successful had to make the decision to become a healthier person. It's incredibly simple, but that doesn't make it easy. You have to decide that becoming healthier is worth your effort (believe me, it is), and then you have to just hunker down and do it. No tricks, no gimmicks, no pills, no "kick starts" or whatever else.

    Look at every decision you make as a chance to make yourself healthier. Watch TV or take a walk? Eat a side dish of french fries or fresh vegetables? Drink a large Coke or a bottle of water? One decision at a time. Sometimes you'll make unhealthy decisions, but that doesn't mean you're a failure. It's just a detour, you can always get back on track.

    Start small, making one change at a time. It's easier to get long-term, sustainable results if you don't try to drastically change your lifestyle all at once.

    And develop a healthier relationship with food and exercise, and with yourself. You may want to seek counseling if you feel that there are fundamental psychological issues that are causing you to overeat. For me personally, I didn't develop a healthy sense of self-esteem until I stopped worrying about how I looked and started worrying about making myself healthier and stronger. Maybe that's what you need as well.

    Good luck!

    This is my experience as well

    You have done the hardest part, the first step is recognizing you have a problem and you are searching for a solution.
    This tells me you love yourself enough to reach out. Most of us at MFP have been in this journey for a long time.

    Stay with us at MFP, read "Success stories", inform and educate yourself. Take it "one day at a time"
    Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

    Good luck with your journey to health.:flowerforyou:
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Baby steps. But you have to come up with the willpower to even take those.

    Set a reasonable calorie limit for this week and eat/drink whatever you want within it. Do NOT immediately go down to 1200 calories (which is often a fatal flaw for people on here and they end up starving and binging). Go for a 15 minute walk every day. Voila, you've started changing your life while barely changing anything.
  • LizL217
    LizL217 Posts: 217 Member
    I would, but I don't know where to find it.. where do I get that from?

    how do I get started?

    I don't even know how to make a plan.

    A great way to get started is just to log what you eat (and any exercise you're doing) every day for a week. It's a really good way to find out where you can make some changes.

    Once you've gotten in the habit of logging consistently, identify your biggest problem area (soda, salty snacks, etc.) and try substituting something healthier for a week. It may also help to keep a diary of when you experience the biggest cravings.

    For example, I always crave chocolate in the afternoon. I think it's the result of being given cookies with my lunch every day when I was a kid. Now I make sure to leave room for a chocolate protein shake in the afternoon. It satisfies my chocolate craving and is healthier than cookies and brownies, which always seem to be around in my workplace.
  • brraanndi
    brraanndi Posts: 325 Member
    I know it's not popuplar but remove the things that are the biggest offenders.

    I don't believe in stopping eating any kind of food but I can tell you right now that bread isn't making it into this house. Why? Because it's like crack and all of sudden I will eat the most not healthy sandwiches you've ever seen for every meal lol.

    And just for the record I got up to near you weight wisebecause I love food and hate to cook and I'm figuring it out. If it helps just focus on meeting calories first and then focus on eating nutrient dense food 2nd. Deciding to change your eating habits for life and eating a bunch of "healthy" food instead of what you are used to can be intimidating for some. However for others the best idea is to just throw out the junk.

    Don't feel bad if it takes awhile to find out what works for you. As long as you are honestly working toward this, you shouldn't ever feel bad about yourself. Food is the one addiction people can have that they can't remove from their life, it can take some time.
  • I've been there, done that. I know this is hard, but get everything "bad" out of your house. I was told to do this and it helped A LOT! slowly but surely I broke this cycle. you can do it girl. I know you can. feel free to add me if you need. :) XX
  • Fuzzipeg
    Fuzzipeg Posts: 2,301 Member
    the thing I really like about using this site is, every day is a new day, yesterday is forgotten, true you can look back at what you ate but you have a new page. A new start every day.

    You have an inkling of what will help you become fitter/healthier. Slimmer is a by product of becoming healthy so take simple steps. May be log in everything you eat without making any changes then look at the end of the day, or several days and see where you are and what you are really doing and then give yourself one change for a comfortable while then add another and you will be even more under way than you are now.

    I am 100 days in and it can get to you, but you, we are all bigger than letting it get you down for long. for me this is all about breathing better, moving better, and feeling better. all the best hang on in there.
  • laurensabo
    laurensabo Posts: 1 Member
    I am so with your sister. Today is the first day of sooooo many tries but I WILL NOT GIVE UP! My strategy is baby steps. Today I will concentrate on my water -- hopefully this will fill me up and I won't crave as much. My huge problems (besides portions) is eating late at night. My husband goes to bed early and I am left on my own to cheat. I haven't created a strategy for this yet -- and I would love to hear some thoughts -- but right now I'm planning on munching on carrotts or just going to bed. Lastly, as a start, try to recruit a friend to take a walk down to the end of the street with you -- it's beautiful outside this time of year and the walk goes so much fasting when your chatting. Do whatever you have to do to start a habit. YOU CAN DO IT!
  • neraulia
    neraulia Posts: 45 Member
    Try eating some fresh fruit and veggies (especially green veggies) every day, even if you still eat junk. That way, you will be getting more nutrients and start getting used to the taste of healthier food.

    Also, it sounds like you might be dealing with some depression. If you can take a walk outside to get some vitamin D, that may help, as well as other coping strategies such as talking to supportive friends/family, doing non-food-related activities like reading, writing, listening to music, even playing video games.

    If you feel overwhelmed, try to take things one day at a time. Make sure to pat yourself on the back when you make a healthy choice.
  • bf43005
    bf43005 Posts: 287
    Sounds like you are a very emotional eater. You eat something because you are feeling a certain way and then you regret it later. How about trying a food diary. Log what you eat and why you are eating it or how you feel. If you find a patter of events you can start to change it. Like every time I talk to my Mom she hounds me about my weight, I get upset and go for the ice cream. Then you can talk to your Mom about it or learn to keep the conversation with her short. This is just an example and you have to try and find what it is for you. But don't just give up. You are depressed because of your weight and that just doesn't go away. I have totally been there and can hear myself in what you wrote. I have my husband as a workout partner and that has really helped me. He is a constant inspiration to me and drives me to get my butt to the gym and try harder every day. A workout buddy could be super helpful for you. The biggest thing is to try. So today cut out one bad thing you would normally eat and try to find something better to fill it with. Sugar is super addictive so it's going to be like cutting out a drug and you have to get used to it not being in your life. Stay strong!
  • 1longroad
    1longroad Posts: 642 Member
    The first step is knowing why you want to travel this journey!! For me it was to improve my health and to generally feel better! Your reason may be the same or it may be different. Write your reasons down, so you have them to look at on a daily basis, it helps!

    Next, there are great resources here to help you figure out how to eat healthier and how to decide what the right plan for you is. I try to eat 4 or 5 times a day, within my calories, as I am a grazer and like to eat often. This helps me stay within my calorie range overall. That may help you, or it may not. You have to know what will work for you and often, trial and error are the only way to determine that.

    Find people to be friends with here on MFP. It really helps to have the support and the knowledge of those who have been here and are losing weight successfully!!

    Drink plenty of fluids, and drink some water within those fluids! Water, iced tea, black coffee, flavored waters, are good for your body and help keep you full while flushing out fat!! Water of course is the most important, but if you are not used to drinking water, start and work your way up!

    Move more! There is no set amount. If you don't exercise, that's ok, but start. Start slow, to avoid injury and to keep yourself from giving up. Try walking 15 minutes a day. Don't worry about your speed, or duration. Walk for 7.5 minutes, turn around and walk back! After a week, increase that by 5 minutes Walk for 10 minutes, turn around and walk back!! I have very bad knees and a bad hip, so walking is the exercise for me!! If you have access to a pool, it may be easier at first for you to walk in the pool. Whatever works for you!

    Emotional eating is a hard battle, but it is worth it. Don't be afraid to seek help! You will get encouragement here, but you may need counseling also. If you do, look in to what services are available. I find that talking to people here motivates me, helps keep me focused and makes me feel more determined not to let myself or them down, so it is easier to stick to my plan!!!

    You can do this!!! Most have us have been where you are today. Knowing we want to change, having no idea how! I will be happy to join you on your journey if you would like!!!
  • I think a lot of what you're running into is you are looking at the big picture and it's completely overwhelming. That would be like going to a pizza buffet and telling yourself you HAVE to eat everything.

    Start small. Pick one thing to change, one "bad habit" and work on it. Doesn't matter how small it might seem. When it's not a big deal anymore, pick another one. If that one thing still seems to be a problem, try something else. You just have to keep fiddling with stuff until something just...well, I guess "feels right."

    I have done many, many things throughout the years and much of it is a pain in the rear. Though along the way I've managed to change some bad habits into better habits and gradually I feel like I'm "getting there." Some days I feel like I've done all bad, but when I look at my food diary I can SEE that I really didn't do so bad. I am eating salad pretty much every day, I only eat one carb per meal (that's a HARD one and sometimes....Sunday......it doesn't work out quite that well - corn AND potato .....but boy I sure enjoyed it a lot more than I used to!), I only drink water, I don't buy ice cream I like in any size container larger than those single ones and I (so far) never eat more than one at a time, etc. I have to stop and think about what I "would have done before" sometimes.

    Try not to focus as much on what you feel like you "can't" do and find something to focus on that you "can" do. And like I tell myself every day....every damn day......"Being a little hungry isn't gonna kill me." (Unless, of course, I go crazy with it but my willpower is noway, never ever ever gonna be that good!)
  • spgabby86
    spgabby86 Posts: 323 Member
    I like this suggestion...I will try this for myself...I to am struggling so this post was Right on Time :flowerforyou:
  • spgabby86
    spgabby86 Posts: 323 Member
    Start with small goals, for week one, try to eliminate something like chips and replace it with a 20 minute walk. If that works then add to it the following week. Remember only to focus on the small goals - otherwise it can be overwhelming.
  • DamoniqueW
    DamoniqueW Posts: 147 Member
    I know how you feel. I have been there. I was there last week. I had to push myself and say today I am going to work out. Once you start you feel like you have to keep going. The fact that you are here is the first step. Take small steps. Don't try to do it all at once
  • Mslmesq
    Mslmesq Posts: 1,000 Member
    today will be long.
    Today will also not last forever. I always repeat that to myself on rough days.

    First of all, a huge hug for you! I'm sorry you are having a rough day!

    Second, and most importantly, try to have some compassion for yourself. You are a unique and special individual with your own unique gifts and attributes. There is absolutely no one else on this planet that is exactly like you and you cannot be replaced. The sum total of your worth has virtually nothing to do with your weight. You would be special at 500lbs or 100lbs all the same.

    With that said, there is also absolutely nothing wrong with you wanting to improve your health and taking steps in that direction. It is an admirable goal. It does, however, sound like some of your impediments to that goal stem from emotional eating. You are not alone in this. It is very common and nothing to be ashamed of. Many times emotional or binge eating stems from triggers of unaddressed issues, a lot of times from childhood. Counseling to address these things can be beneficial. There are also support groups that can help as well. Meditation and mindfulness can also be applied to help alleviate the stress and triggers when they happen.

    Know, you can achieve your goals. But they are simply goals you have, they do not define you or your worth as an individual.

    Best wishes and prayers to to you in your journey!
  • 1longroad
    1longroad Posts: 642 Member
    I am so with your sister. Today is the first day of sooooo many tries but I WILL NOT GIVE UP! My strategy is baby steps. Today I will concentrate on my water -- hopefully this will fill me up and I won't crave as much. My huge problems (besides portions) is eating late at night. My husband goes to bed early and I am left on my own to cheat. I haven't created a strategy for this yet -- and I would love to hear some thoughts -- but right now I'm planning on munching on carrotts or just going to bed. Lastly, as a start, try to recruit a friend to take a walk down to the end of the street with you -- it's beautiful outside this time of year and the walk goes so much fasting when your chatting. Do whatever you have to do to start a habit. YOU CAN DO IT!

    I work night three nights a week, so my schedule means that I have to eat at night those days. So, on my days off, I still want to eat at night, so I save calories for that, from the calories I have allotted. It works for me, so I hope you find what works for you!!
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
    if you want to get healthy bad enough....if you know WHY you don't like your current lifestyle and WHY you want to change....you will ignite the fire within you (what I call the fierce and Katy Perry calls fireworks...go listen to her song and follow the lyrics). Here is a blog I wrote. Spend time. Do the activity.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/H_Factor/view/recipe-for-a-will-power-pill-for-help-with-the-mental-part-of-the-journey-155978
  • sweet_blasphemy
    sweet_blasphemy Posts: 129 Member
    I can really relate to you. I have struggled with emotional/disordered eating for as far back as I can remember. If you're anything like me, depression or a subpar mental state can kill your motivation to do anything - even take care of yourself. When you're depressed, everything seems pointless and not worth the effort, that's where the lack of willpower comes in so you fall into that vicious cycle of sad=eat=eat=sad. But there's still that teeny tiny logical part of your brain, way, way back in a little dark corner that's screaming "this isn't right"... that's the part that is prompting you to reach out, which I think is awesome so kudos to you for being strong enough to take that first step.

    Over the past year, through CB therapy and medication (which is not the method for everyone) I have been working on my mental state. I'm finally to the point where I'm ready to do this and I want it more than I ever have. Like someone else said, there's no secret fountain of willpower, you have to find it within yourself. Sometimes you have to clear some junk out of the way before you uncover it. Getting healthy, to me, involves not just the physical but the mental/emotional aspect and they will compliment each other as you keep moving in the right direction. It's a long journey, one that I thought I just wasn't cut out for, but I'm learning to take it one day at a time, to make small adjustments here and there, and working toward giving food an appropriate place in my life so there's more room for the interests and passions that I REALLY want in my life.

    Good luck, and feel free to add me :)
  • JingleMuffin
    JingleMuffin Posts: 543 Member
    Whats the alternative?

    get fatter and fatter and then die?
    where do you put your foot down and go the other direction?